Your thoughts

[CocheseUGA]

My father-in-law is to go into the hospital Monday. We have no idea if he'll ever leave (kinda pessimistic, but there is the possibility). He's 57 or so, and has had multiple heart attacks. He had an IED implanted two years ago, but his heart is just too weak. He didn't follow doctor's orders after his heart attacks, so I don't need any comments in that regard.

He's been on the transplant list for a few months, and this is most likely going to move him up. He really started turning it around when the twins were announced, but it was probably too late for that. He loves these little girls, and we're taking them (and my wife, obviously) to spend as much time with him as possible, as there is a chance it will be his last opportunity.

Obviously we are hoping beyond all hope that the transplant is successful whenever it happens, and he makes a full recovery and is able to see them grow up at least a little bit.

I guess my wife has been preparing for this possibility for awhile, but I know she is hurting. I'm hurting too, just for the sheer fact of thinking how cruel it is for someone to have so little time with somebody (the girls and their grandfather and vice-versa). I'd much rather them be able to at least have memories of him before he passes. They are only nine months old, so if he doesn't make it they won't remember.

You know how you are prepared for something, and you know it shouldn't affect you like it turns out it does? My chest hurts thinking about having to explain to my daughters what a nice person he was, even for only the few years I've known him - and we don't exactly engage in easy conversation. He's happy just laying on the bed with them for hours playing with them and watching old Muppet Show episodes. That's all he really asks for, and we're happy to oblige.

It just sucks thinking about it.

[pop311]

that sucks. I hope for the best

[Maklershed]

He's happy just laying on the bed with them for hours playing with them and watching old Muppet Show episodes. That's all he really asks for, and we're happy to oblige.



:cry:

[CocheseUGA]

:cry:

Yeah. He just loves seeing them.

[Ikohn4ever]

maybe you could record a video message from him to them, so when they are older they will know something about it him and how much they meant to him

[PKRipp3r]

maybe you could record a video message from him to them, so when they are older they will know something about it him and how much they meant to him

that's a pretty great idea

maybe a short message for each of their next few upcoming birthdays.. happy messages that will make them feel good when they see them

[Scorch]

maybe you could record a video message from him to them, so when they are older they will know something about it him and how much they meant to him

Fantastic idea!

[Graystone]

Man that sucks. My sister has kids, and I see my parents eyes light up when they come over to see them. I can see how much they mean to him. Wishing you the best.

[MidnightRain]

I second this -- or even just video of him interacting with them. I don't have any video of my dad (he died when I was 8, but he was essentially out of my life by the time I was 3 and I have very little memory of him) but there are a few photographs of the two of us together and I cherish those so much. He was diabetic and had suffered four heart attacks prior to his death, and I wish he'd had the forethought to record or write down some messages for me.

My thoughts are with you and your family. Hope your FIL gets that transplant soon...

maybe you could record a video message from him to them, so when they are older they will know something about it him and how much they meant to him

[Quackzilla]

Too much bad shit happens to good people...

[CocheseUGA]

I appreciate all the thoughts. I will discuss this with my wife. Unfortunately, bringing up something like that gives the impression you don't think he's going to make it. I will have to tread lightly.

[auralia]

I'm sorry. I can't say i can relate to that, but my grandfather has had 2 tripple bipasses and a couple of angeoplaste and only just recently started following doctors orders and he is now 78 years old.... and the last tripple by pass i believe he was about 68 and they also werent sure if he would ever leave, but he did and is still going today.... i realize your situation is much worse, but theres always a chance....

[Ikohn4ever]

I appreciate all the thoughts. I will discuss this with my wife. Unfortunately, bringing up something like that gives the impression you don't think he's going to make it. I will have to tread lightly.


I mean right now you could just videotape for the holidays or something just him playing with them. Then when you know something definite you could have him do it.

[VanillaGorilla]

You sure like to spill your guts out (not literally) on these forums, don't you?

[Scobie]

Sad news, and coming into the holidays, too. I wish you and your family well, Cochese.

[6669]

I'm sorry to hear this. I hope everything works out for you. Good luck.

[Diiz]

I appreciate all the thoughts. I will discuss this with my wife. Unfortunately, bringing up something like that gives the impression you don't think he's going to make it. I will have to tread lightly.

Yeah, that was my thought as well. It would seem fatalistic and depressing, no matter how happy you tried to make it.

[CocheseUGA]

You sure like to spill your guts out (not literally) on these forums, don't you?

It is one of my forms of therapy. Without it, I could go into a murderous rage at any given point in time. I have to restrain myself from becoming violent as it is.

And on reverse, I get really upset when I see dickheads (unoriginal) post stuff about killing babies and it be funny. I also get really upset thinking about stuff that may have nothing to do with me, but decide to be empathetic.

Yeah, I know I'm messed up, no one has to tell it to me. I avoid medication because I don't want to feel 'blah' all the time with no emotion one way or another. As long as I can keep it in check by writing, singing, whatever, I'll be ok. I know at what point I'd need to get some professional help.

You know, I've never figured out why I can get violently angry at a snap of a finger. Just the way it's always been. Good family, good life. Chemical imbalance perhaps?

Anyways, I digress. And feel a little better. Thanks.

[VanillaGorilla]

It is one of my forms of therapy. Without it, I could go into a murderous rage at any given point in time. I have to restrain myself from becoming violent as it is.

And on reverse, I get really upset when I see dickheads (unoriginal) post stuff about killing babies and it be funny. I also get really upset thinking about stuff that may have nothing to do with me, but decide to be empathetic.

Yeah, I know I'm messed up, no one has to tell it to me. I avoid medication because I don't want to feel 'blah' all the time with no emotion one way or another. As long as I can keep it in check by writing, singing, whatever, I'll be ok. I know at what point I'd need to get some professional help.

You know, I've never figured out why I can get violently angry at a snap of a finger. Just the way it's always been. Good family, good life. Chemical imbalance perhaps?

Anyways, I digress. And feel a little better. Thanks.I was just making an observation. Cold hearted as it may seem, I don't get attached to the problems of strangers on message boards, sorry. As for the whole "joking about killing babies", you need to lighten up. I don't think anyone here would ever seriously consider killing a baby, let alone broiling them with a honey glaze at 400 degrees for about 25 minutes, or until crispy on the outside.

[CocheseUGA]

I was just making an observation. Cold hearted as it may seem, I don't get attached to the problems of strangers on message boards, sorry. As for the whole "joking about killing babies", you need to lighten up. I don't think anyone here would ever seriously consider killing a baby, let alone broiling them with a honey glaze at 400 degrees for about 25 minutes, or until crispy on the outside.

I try not to get attached either, but it's a form of my malfunction. I can take a lot of jokes, but IMO baby-killing, raping jokes just incense me. I snap. If someone were to tell one to my face, I guarantee at least one of us would be bleeding. It might be me, but that's ok.

But, I'm not discussing this more in this particular thread.

[Trakan]

I try not to get attached either, but it's a form of my malfunction. I can take a lot of jokes, but IMO baby-killing, raping jokes just incense me. I snap. If someone were to tell one to my face, I guarantee at least one of us would be bleeding. It might be me, but that's ok.

But, I'm not discussing this more in this particular thread.

That's his whole point. This is the internet, not your face.

[Danimal]

That's his whole point. This is the internet, not your face.Exactly. I would imagine that most of the time, when some moron posts a joke about rape or baby-killing or whatever on a message board, a big laugh is not the reaction they're looking for. They're looking for outrage and anger from people who have a hard time ignoring stuff like that. The anonymity of the internet gives some people the courage to be all kinds of assinine and say things and try to provoke reactions they would never dare try when face-to-face with someone.

To get back to this thread's original topic, Cochese- I feel for you, man. My father-in-law died two months ago, and I know this Christmas is going to be hard for my wife. Our kids are old enough that they will have memories of him, but of course I still wish he could have seen them grow up.

I hope that your father-in-law pulls through and gets to celebrate many more Christmas days with you and your family.

[thebob101]

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. Both of my parents passed before my daughter was born, but there isn't a day that I don't think about how she is missing out on knowing them. Even though they might not remember him, it is awesome that they get to experience his love even if it is only for a short period of time (hopefully, he will be able to spend a lot longer with them). I have video of my Mother and Father to show my daughter when she is old enough. Maybe just video taping their interaction (playing with him, watching the Muppets) would be a great thing for them to have when they get older. They can see how much their Grandpa loved them.

[daria19]

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. Both of my parents passed before my daughter was born, but there isn't a day that I don't think about how she is missing out on knowing them. Even though they might not remember him, it is awesome that they get to experience his love even if it is only for a short period of time (hopefully, he will be able to spend a lot longer with them). I have video of my Mother and Father to show my daughter when she is old enough. Maybe just video taping their interaction (playing with him, watching the Muppets) would be a great thing for them to have when they get older. They can see how much their Grandpa loved them.

I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. I would get some pix or a video since you still have the opportunity to do so. Your wife would probably regret it more later if you don't. My father passed away without any warning about a year and a half ago from heart disease, so my mom only has a few pictures of him that she happened to take to test out her camera.

[help1]

I hope for the best. Im just a youngin and I never met my grandfather at an age where I would be able to remember him and I lsot my grandma at a young age. Tugs at my heart when ever i see my family, jsut knowing some unity is missing.