The grand list of 192 cliches found in RPG's

[Roufuss]

The guy said there are spoilers in there but I didn't find any... it's a funny read.

http://project-apollo.net/text/rpg.html

Here are my favorites:



Weapon Rule

There's always a hidden creature who is much harder to defeat than even the ultimate bad guy's final, world-annihilating form. It's lucky for all concerned that this hidden creature prefers to stay hidden rather than trying to take over the world himself, because he'd probably win. As a corollary, whatever reward you get for killing the hidden creature is basically worthless because by the time you're powerful enough to defeat him, you don't need it any more.





The Ultimate Rule

Anything called "Ultima (whatever)" or "Ultimate (whatever)" isn't. There's always at least one thing somewhere in the world which is even more.





Apocalypse Any Time Now

The best time to do side quests is while the huge meteor hovers in the sky above the planet, waiting to fall and destroy the world.

[62t]

Cosmo Canyon (site) did this many years ago. I doubt anyone remember them.

[The Crotch]

The list that never gets old. I'm a particular fan of the Maginot Line Rule, Material Science 101, the Fargo Rule, the Fifth Law of Travel (which applies to a good many non-RPGs), and the Magical Inequality Theorem. It's still missing a few rather important cliches, though. Kinda sad, really...

[Photomotoz]

Awesome list!

"The Higher The Hair, The Closer To God (Cloud Rule)
The more outrageous his hairstyle, the more important a male character is to the story.

Garrett's Principle
Let's not mince words: you're a thief. You can walk into just about anybody's house like the door wasn't even locked. You just barge right in and start looking for stuff. Anything you can find that's not nailed down is yours to keep. You will often walk into perfect strangers' houses, lift their precious artifacts, and then chat with them like you were old neighbors as you head back out with their family heirlooms under your arm. Unfortunately, this never works in stores."
Hahaha! So true!

[Kayden]

"Nostradamus Rule
All legends are 100% accurate. All rumors are entirely factual. All prophecies will come true, and not just someday but almost immediately."

:rofl:

[Brak]

There's only 192?

[The Crotch]

There are some spoilers in there - the Luna Rule, for example. And the Melfice Rule. And the Ruby Rule. And the...

[botticus]

I see some specific spoilers, but unless you've played that part of the game, you wouldn't know it was a spoiler.

i.e. 25. Dimensional Transcendence Principle

[furyk]

What came first, the anime list of overused cliches or the RPG list?

[MusicNoteLess]

Arbor Day Rule
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says.
:rofl: Zelda fans can appreciate that.

[The Crotch]

I think the Arbor Day Rule was directed more at Breath of Fire, but now that I think about it, Zelda works just as well.

[furyk]

Arbor Day Rule
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says.
:rofl: Zelda fans can appreciate that.

Zelda? Try *word* of Mana.

[The Crotch]

Before this thread, I had no appreciation for just how many RPGs that rule had infected. I'm sure it's made its way into a Tales or two.

[redline]

Arbor Day Rule
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says.
:rofl: Zelda fans can appreciate that.
Damn, Golden Sun too. I wonder how many RPGs have talking trees??!!

[Kayden]

Damn, Golden Sun too. I wonder how many RPGs have talking trees??!!

They're just so ENTicing?

[willardhaven]

I love Zelda.

I love status affecting spells.

Cake is ok too.

Edited to avoid being yelled at by children.

[The Crotch]

What makes Zelda an RPG?
Crap. Everybody out of the thread.

Now.

I think something bad's about to go down.

[willardhaven]

Haha whoops.

[The Crotch]

You didn't actually have to edit the post.

Anyway, I consider Zelda to be a thinly veiled RPG. Most of the key elements of the RPG are present in Zelda games - even if your level up is disguised in the form of a new heart and fire arrow.

[willardhaven]

The only reason I said that is because it gets hazy at that point, with games like Onimusha possessing similar, even more "RPG-esque" tendencies.

[SinnerChrno]

An oldie, but I still ended up skimming over it. I should really save it for later someday.

[io]

As a gamer who would be the wizened elder in most RPG worlds I find the following particularly funny:


Logan's Run Rule
RPG characters are young. Very young. The average age seems to be 15, unless the character is a decorated and battle-hardened soldier, in which case he might even be as old as 18. Such teenagers often have skills with multiple weapons and magic, years of experience, and never ever worry about their parents telling them to come home from adventuring before bedtime. By contrast, characters more than twenty-two years old will cheerfully refer to themselves as washed-up old fogies and be eager to make room for the younger generation.


Thinking in particular of Tales of Legendia where the old over-the-hill guy is like 28 or something :rofl:.

Other good ones:

Short Attention Span Principle
All bookshelves contain exactly one book, which only has enough text on it to fill up half a page.



Second Law of Travel
There will be only one of any non-trivial type of vehicle in the entire world. Thus, only one ocean-capable steamboat, only one airship, and so forth. Massive facilities will have been constructed all over the world to service this one vehicle.


Awesome, is there a game where this isn't the case? (below)

Magical Inequality Theorem
In the course of your travels you may find useful-sounding spells such as Petrify, Silence, and Instant Death. However, you will end up never using these spells in combat because a) all ordinary enemies can be killed with a few normal attacks, making fancy attacks unneccessary, b) all bosses and other stronger-than-average monsters are immune to those effects so there's no point in using them for long fights where they'd actually come in handy, and c) the spells usually don't work anyway.


and the related:

Vivi's Spellbook Principle
Over the course of the game, you will spend countless hours learning between twenty and one hundred skills and/or spells, approximately three of which will still be useful by the end of the game.



Law of Reverse Evolution (Zeboim Principle)
Any ancient civilizations are inexplicably much more advanced than the current one.



Adam Smith's Revenge
By the end of the game you are renowned everywhere as the Legendary Heroes, every surviving government and authority figure has rallied behind you, the fate of the world is obviously hanging in the balance, and out of nowhere random passers-by give you a pat on the back and heartfelt good luck wishes. However, shopkeepers won't even give you a discount, much less free supplies for the final battle with evil.


Child Protection Act (Rydia Rule)
Children 12 and under are exempt from death. They will emerge alive from cataclysms that slaughter hundreds of sturdily-built adults, often with barely a scratch. Further protection is afforded if the catastrophe will orphan the child.

[mykevermin]

George W. Bush Geography Simplification Initiative
Every country in the world will have exactly one town in it, except for the country you start out in, which will have three.
:rofl:

[mykevermin]

George W. Bush Geography Simplification Initiative
Every country in the world will have exactly one town in it, except for the country you start out in, which will have three.
:rofl:

[jlseal]

Zelda's Axiom
Whenever somebody tells you about "the five ancient talismans" or "the nine legendary crystals" or whatever, you can be quite confident that Saving the World will require you to go out and find every last one of them.
Is it bad that I spent the first 15 hours of Twilight Princess thinking this?

[lordxixor101]

Well, I love reading these lists every so often (and I swear, I crack up each time). Here's my current favorite

Just Nod Your Head And Smile
And no matter how big that big-ass sword is, you won't stand out in a crowd. Nobody ever crosses the street to avoid you or seems to be especially shocked or alarmed when a heavily armed gang bursts into their house during dinner, rummages through their posessions, and demands to know if they've seen a black-caped man. People can get used to anything, apparently.

Here's another
Local Control Rule
Although the boss monster terrorizing the first city in the game is less powerful than the non-boss monsters that are only casual nuisances to cities later in the game, nobody from the first city ever thinks of hiring a few mercenaries from the later cities to kill the monster.

My thoughts: To take this one further, none of the "monsters" (or bad guys) from the other town ever think to move to the early town, where they could be a big fish in a small pond.

[coolsteel]

This was always my favorite of the bunch


MacGyver Rule
Other than for the protagonists, your choice of weapons is not limited to the prosaic guns, clubs, or swords. Given appropriate skills, you can cut a bloody swath across the continent using gloves, combs, umbrellas, megaphones, dictionaries, sketching tablets -- you name it, you can kill with it. Even better, no matter how surreal your choice of armament, every store you pass will just happen to stock an even better model of it for a very reasonable price. Who else is running around the world killing people with an umbrella?

[Kawnhr]

Thinking in particular of Tales of Legendia where the old over-the-hill guy is like 28 or something :rofl:.

In Legendia's defense, only Norma refered to Will as an old man. Everytime she called him one to his face, he either bopped her on the head, or said "I'm only 28!!". Besides, Norma was just teasing him.