The punqsux guide to CheapAss n00b-ness

[punqsux]

So I know theres a bunch of new people around here (YES I'm talking about you) so I figured I'd try and help you guys assimilate better in the wondrous world of CAG.

0. Learn proper posting netiquette - go watch this:
http://users.adelphia.net/~kamel/Posting.html
Go read this:
http://www.albion.com/netiquette/

1. Posting in the right forum - This is a big deal especially in the "post your own deal" forum. Please try to read through all the forum titles (I know there's like 10...t3h reading!!1) and choose where your post best fits. It helps makes the mods jobs a bit easier, and that's good, because they're only making six figures by working here, so we should help out anyway we can ^^

2. Posting a duplicate deal/thread - Ok, sometimes this just happens, and that's fine, but too often, people post a deal that's on the front page of the deals forum!! Please, before you post, check over the front page of the board you're posting on (especially the deals board) and if you are in a good mood and are unsure about if a topic already exists, search for it:
http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forum/search.php

3. Posting stale threads - We are currently having a thread about how threads keep popping up. No one cares enough to rate your collection, and no one cares how many posts you have. Please refrain from topics similar to those that regular CERTIN (not naming names ^^) other gaming board, we've all seen them before.

4. The acronym filter - When you type out an acronym like YMMV or BIN they appear bold and underlined. The reason for this is it's been a problem here, people not knowing what they mean. Simply move your cursor over the underlined text and it will tell you what it means.

5. Read the sticky posts - They are there for a reason, you should be familiar with the board you're posting on. Here's the ones everyone should read:
http://cheapassgamer.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=32
if you want to trade here, read these:
http://cheapassgamer.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1005
http://cheapassgamer.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=12567
http://cheapassgamer.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=10763

6. Trading - You're new, and likely have little to no feedback. don't be shocked when someone with 10 feedback asks you to send first, that's just how it goes. We have a running tally of peoples feedback, updated weekly, here:
http://cheapassgamer.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=10763
after you complete a trade, you can post feedback here:
http://cheapassgamer.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1526
if you do a trade and the other person does not leave you feedback, simply send them a PM asking to leave you feedback, people forget, I know I have, but a polite PM usually solves everything.

7. You will miss out on deals - In about 90% of deals, there are not enough for everyone to get in on them. It's all about being in the right place at the right time. Some people do buy many copies of games to re-sell, yes it sucks, but deal with it. Nothing is going to stop it from happening, no matter how many threads you make about it. ^^

8. WhipSmartBanky will not make you an avatar - Don't ask him to.

9. Have fun - People on this board are mostly laid back and never opposed to some humor. However there are different types of humor:
a) "Haha" funny - Simpsons quotes, a joke, an ebaum picture, something almost anyone can find funny, works well.
b) Inside jokes - see this thread:
http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=21896
c)"You had to be there" funny - Doesn’t usually work well on message boards, don't be shocked if people don't find this funny.
d)"Billy Crystal" funny - lame jokes that just makes everyone collectively roll their eyes....UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE is being Billy Crystal funny tolerable and you will be flamed ^^

So yeah, welcome to cag! If i feel the need I'll update this later, I tried to keep it less serious than it needed to be, they're mostly guidelines, but yee better not break the pirates code. ^^

[Mr. Anderson]

Excellent, maybe Defender will sticky this.

[Squirms]

Concise and to the point, excellent post.

[Ericnmel99]

im not too fond of billy Crystal

[sj41]

Do I count as a nOOb?

[JAMMR]

Do I count as a nOOb?
No, but you count as my bitch. :twisted:

[redgopher]

Do I count as a nOOb?
No, but you count as my bitch. :twisted:

Burn.

[Dead of Knight]

The secret number 10....
10. Don't accuse other people of being asshats unless you are beyond reasonable doubt. Otherwise, you look like an asshat.

[guessed]

Do I count as a nOOb?
No, but you count as my bitch. :twisted:

Get a room, you two. :roll:

[bignick]

Hey punq, you got some brown stuff on your nose...

[CaseyRyback]

stuck a link for it into my sig.

[RBM]

Spoken like a true moderator, punqsux. Or a future moderator. Or a moderate person from the future. Something like that.

Although Dead of Knight reminds me of yet another suggestion to mention:

11.) Don't ferget u r knot expected 2 edit ur posts cuz we r nut fans of gut grammar or spelling or NE grown-up things like that. We think u r kewl the more u sound like a hip teenager. word.

[sj41]

Do I count as a nOOb?
No, but you count as my bitch. :twisted:

Get a room, you two. :roll:I'm not quite ready to take such a drastic move. I'll let you guys know if I ever go to the dark side. :wink:

[zewone]

I like these guidelines. Nice job punqsux.

[WhipSmartBanky]

#7 made my day. Thanks, punqsux! :lol:

[The_Continental]

Shoot, I'm a Vet, and I still learned some stuff, thanks punq.

[daphatty]

We really need a Newbie Forum where useful stuff like this can get posted. It can also serve as a catch all for silly newbie questions that most people don't like dealing with.

[WhipSmartBanky]

I was just looking at the stats, and I'm amazed to see that out of almost 17,000 registered forum members, only about 4600 have ever bothered to post at least once.

[BigHow]

punq - I dig the New Guy ref.

[defender]

Gosh I feel like emailing or PMing this to all 16000 users.

Make it an obligation to read when you join...

That will be up to CheapyD though and I will advise him to do so.... :-)

[CaseyRyback]

Gosh I feel like emailing or PMing this to all 16000 users.

Make it an obligation to read when you join...

That will be up to CheapyD though and I will advise him to do so.... :-)

no one seems to read the sticky's so a mass e-mail would be great

[punqsux]

Hey punq, you got some brown stuff on your nose...

says mr potato head ^^

what new guy ref?

[6669]

I wish this thread was around when I was a noob :(
(Hey, it says I'm a regular now)

[JSweeney]

I think that the problem with a noob or newbie forum is that the ones it was designed to stop (the noobs) will refuse to post there.

Thus lies the problem.
Stupid people don't know they are stupid.
Noobs don't know they are noobs.

If you tell one of the members of this class that they actually belong to that class, they will deny it (often poorly in everyone elses eyes but their own)

[bignick]

Hey punq, you got some brown stuff on your nose...

says mr potato head ^^

what new guy ref?

lol good point, I gues that was like the pot calling the kettle black.

[-Never4ever-]

You want to know the sad part? not one noob will read this. :(

There's still hope, I suppose.

[magilacudy]

I wish this thread was around when I was a noob :(
(Hey, it says I'm a regular now)

Yeah me too. It seems n00bs these days need more babysitting. I hope they read this or are at least forced to.

Nice post, punq.

[punqsux]

i added a new part to the post (#7) because of a few topics on the front page ^^

[flybrione]

I read it. Sounds logical to me, but not everyone is smart enough to read.

[thatstoobad]

i'm not sure what's so difficult to grasp. when i joined i never posted anything in the wrong forum. at least i don't think so.

all it takes is like 3 seconds to actually think, but maybe i shouldn't expect that out of most people.

[willardhaven]

I'm a n00b, I am also extremely stupid, but I did read this thread, and I learned. Thanks for posting the info : )

[organicow]

Im lookin 4 Viewtiful Joeanyone have it Id really like it pleeeessseeeee



sorry. just got all wrapped up in the noob talk and couldn't hep myself. If I see one more misplaced thread/post I'm gonna go ape-shit. Especially if it contains a mile-long run-on sentence that is barely english.

Punq - rockin list; hope some of the moron-noobs bother to read it.

[Zenithian Legend]

So did more people join CAG for the CC deal or the BB deal, oddly enough there were more people on the boards going nuts during the BB deal... how's that grab ya..

[deathcabforcutie]

i read it.. sounds good.. now who's ass can i kick so they will be my bitch?? any volunteers?

[KingDox]

I was just looking at the stats, and I'm amazed to see that out of almost 17,000 registered forum members, only about 4600 have ever bothered to post at least once.

I think the site has tons of lurkers that only look for deals that are not posted on the front page. I know that I joined the boards to see what deals I was missing.

[punqsux]

So did more people join CAG for the CC deal or the BB deal, oddly enough there were more people on the boards going nuts during the BB deal... how's that grab ya..

in the past week 1700 people have joined the site.
in may and june COMBINED 1600 people joined.

[jimbodan]

So did more people join CAG for the CC deal or the BB deal, oddly enough there were more people on the boards going nuts during the BB deal... how's that grab ya..

in the past week 1700 people have joined the site.
in may and june COMBINED 1600 people joined.

Damn! I was wondering if anyone knew how many new people joined since the CC deal. Now I got my answer, that's a grip of people.

[redrobot]

WOW! that's a ton of people. This is sure to help a ton of them. Now if only i could get rid of my noob title.

[Mustang O-Line 75]

The secret number 10....
10. Don't accuse other people of being asshats unless you are beyond reasonable doubt. Otherwise, you look like an asshat.

Agreed'd

poor pds

[Zenithian Legend]

Got another one for ya Punqs, how many people joined during the CC madness last winter?

[ElfAngel7]

To be fair, we were all n00bs at one point, so it's ok if the fook up a couple of times. But still, I second the stickying of this.

[Zenithian Legend]

To be fair, we were all n00bs at one point, so it's ok if the fook up a couple of times. But still, I second the stickying of this.

Not me, I was born omnipotent... :twoguns:

[JSweeney]

I was never a noob.
I'll gladly admit to having been a newbie, but I have never been a noob.

(Yes, there is a distinct difference.)

Newbies don't bother me in the least. They're new, so they are granted some latitude. Noobs are annoying, ignorant small minded newbies who think they know better than everyone else, despite the fact that they are newbies.

[Slipknot9762]

good point

[SS4Brolly]

Clean it up a bit to make it look more professional (Like Underlining, spell checking, ect) and Ill be more than happy to move it to whatever forum would be best and Sticky it

[Wshakspear]

You should mention the fact links pay for thier silly asses to be here.

[mrpotatohed]

Hey punq, you got some brown stuff on your nose...

says mr potato head ^^

what new guy ref?

BigNick and I are NOT related lol.

[punqsux]

clean'd up'd

[SS4Brolly]

Looks great. My only sugestion would be to clean up the language so its PG rated. I dont see too many other problems, really. This would more than likely go in the off topic forum. Any other mods second the idea of stickying?

[CaseyRyback]

I second the stickying

[punqsux]

brolly are you talking about #9? lol

[SS4Brolly]

brolly are you talking about #9? lol

Yeah.

[punqsux]

hehe first best buy censors us, now brolly....j/k :lol:

i edited it, it didnt make sence having 2 joke things right in a row anyways.

i like your idea wsheakspear, so ill add it next time i feel like typing

[jimbodan]

figured this could use a bump

[1SwtDeception]

lol thanks for the topic... *thumbs up* and a lot of n00b might read it.. just too n00b pride to admit it?

[JSweeney]

lol thanks for the topic... *thumbs up* and a lot of n00b might read it.. just too n00b pride to admit it?

I doubt it. I think people just forget the differences between what a noob and a newbie is, and unjustly call a good number of newbies noobs.

[fireball343]

newbie-ness.....................

after a hundred posts you start to get more used to it and know what's what. unless all 100 posts were crap. great list.

i was a lurker for a while(yeah i'll admit it) i joined in December after reading about it in EGM. I was rarely on the site, just the front page. i got into the fourms when i had more time-summer. i started posting.

the 1800 people joining this site and only 246 have ever been in the fourms at once.

[snakeeyez101]

thank you, very informative

[punqsux]

bump for the new batch of n00bs.

what happened to the stickifying?

[MorbidAngel4Life]

gotta add another one: thou shalt not ever mention the asshat DLF in any post ever!

[Lootr2Core]

I think DLF has jumped the shark.

[punqsux]

DLF didnt jump the shark. DLF "powered" a shark sub, hot mayo, no onion

[Xevious]

Gosh I feel like emailing or PMing this to all 16000 users.

Make it an obligation to read when you join...

That will be up to CheapyD though and I will advise him to do so.... :-)

They are Lurkers. They just want the deal and they dont want to contribute.

[bmulligan]

I just read this thread and I have to say that I REALLY LIKE BILLY CRYSTAL !

Don't be hatin' on BC ! :roll:

[punqsux]

Updated!!

[organicow]

Updated!!

Classic. :wink:

[dracula]

sadly, i still have the piic of dragon lord frodo etched into my skull for all eternity, man why oh why did he put up that pic?!?

[snakeeyez101]

yada yada... just because i dont have a lot of posts doesnt mean i dont frequent the boards..... i read more than i post

[pimp tyranny]

hmmm

[CheapyD]

I added a link to this in every email that comes from the CAG server. PMs, topic notifications, new registrations, etc.

[Lootr2Core]

In my opinion there seems to be alot of 'arguement' lets say about what to post what not to post, content that should be in posts etc. I consulted the great Punqsux guide, along with the CAG FAQ rules, (posted below) and it seems that there are many unwritten rules that either should be made rules.. or else forgotten about and have people cool off a bit.


What are the unwritten rules.

A couple have indicated to me that posting more than one off topic thread a night is poopood. Rule--or Need for Valium?

Are there others? BE sure to reread punqsux guide below along with the CAG FAQ.

So I know theres a bunch of new people around here (YES I'm talking about you) so I figured I'd try and help you guys assimilate better in the wondrous world of CAG.

0. Learn proper posting netiquette - go watch this:
http://projectboil.pixel10.co.uk/posting/Posting.html
Go read this:
http://www.albion.com/netiquette/

1. Posting in the right forum - This is a big deal especially in the "post your own deal" forum. Please try to read through all the forum titles (I know there's like 10...t3h reading!!1) and choose where your post best fits. It helps makes the mods jobs a bit easier, and that's good, because they're only making six figures by working here, so we should help out anyway we can ^^

2. Posting a duplicate deal/thread - Ok, sometimes this just happens, and that's fine, but too often, people post a deal that's on the front page of the deals forum!! Please, before you post, check over the front page of the board you're posting on (especially the deals board) and if you are in a good mood and are unsure about if a topic already exists, search for it:
http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forum/search.php

3. Posting stale threads - We are currently having a thread about how threads keep popping up. No one cares enough to rate your collection, and no one cares how many posts you have. Please refrain from topics similar to those that regular CERTIN (not naming names ^^) other gaming board, we've all seen them before.

4. The acronym filter - When you type out an acronym like YMMV or BIN they appear bold and underlined. The reason for this is it's been a problem here, people not knowing what they mean. Simply move your cursor over the underlined text and it will tell you what it means.

5. Read the sticky posts - They are there for a reason, you should be familiar with the board you're posting on. Here's the ones everyone should read:
http://cheapassgamer.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=32
if you want to trade here, read these:
http://cheapassgamer.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1005
http://cheapassgamer.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=12567
http://cheapassgamer.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=10763

6. Trading - You're new, and likely have little to no feedback. don't be shocked when someone with 10 feedback asks you to send first, that's just how it goes. We have a running tally of peoples feedback, updated weekly, here:
http://cheapassgamer.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=10763
after you complete a trade, you can post feedback here:
http://cheapassgamer.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1526
if you do a trade and the other person does not leave you feedback, simply send them a PM asking to leave you feedback, people forget, I know I have, but a polite PM usually solves everything.

7. You will miss out on deals - In about 90% of deals, there are not enough for everyone to get in on them. It's all about being in the right place at the right time. Some people do buy many copies of games to re-sell, yes it sucks, but deal with it. Nothing is going to stop it from happening, no matter how many threads you make about it. ^^

8. WhipSmartBanky will not make you an avatar - Don't ask him to.

9. Have fun - People on this board are mostly laid back and never opposed to some humor. However there are different types of humor:
a) "Haha" funny - Simpsons quotes, a joke, an ebaum picture, something almost anyone can find funny, works well.
b) Inside jokes - see this thread:
http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=21896
c)"You had to be there" funny - Doesn’t usually work well on message boards, don't be shocked if people don't find this funny.
d)"Billy Crystal" funny - lame jokes that just makes everyone collectively roll their eyes....UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE is being Billy Crystal funny tolerable and you will be flamed ^^




CAG FAQ.

What are the rules here?
Pretty simple:
1) No illegal activities
2) Posts should be easily readable, placed in the correct forums, and not in CAPS
3) Respect other useres - Excessive insulting of other users will not be tolerated - Do not create polls/topics regarding the banning of other users
4) No excessive cursing or posting (or linking to) offensive material
5) Follow the rules that are posted in each forum
6) If you are warned by CheapyD about your behavior and do not change your behavior to his satisfaction, you are subject to banning at his will.

[Lancey Howard]

Good to know. Glad I am here.

[Lootr2Core]

there must be unwritten rules the way folks are posting...

[Lootr2Core]

bump

[daria19]

gotta add another one: thou shalt not ever mention the asshat DLF in any post ever!

I agree with that, but I don't think that it will happen anytime soon. He is obviously desperate for attention, and people seem to be more than willing to give it to him.

Back to the original topic. Yes, I admit that I lurked on the site for awhile after seeing it advertised in EGM. And I do have less than 100 posts, which means that I am still considered to be a newbie. I am wandering what is up with the statements on punqsux's signature referring to banning all people with less than 100 posts. (There is a rumor here on CAG to ban all posters with less than 100 posts. If you have less than 100 posts and want to keep your CAG account click this Link!) The last time I noticed, Cheapy's wife had well under 100 posts, and she is obviously never going to be banned. Sometimes I don't post because it would be redundant with something that someone else said or a deal which was already posted, and I would get flamed for that. I'm sure that is the case for some others as well.

[punqsux]

I am wandering what is up with the statements on punqsux's signature referring to banning all people with less than 100 posts. (There is a rumor here on CAG to ban all posters with less than 100 posts. If you have less than 100 posts and want to keep your CAG account click this Link!) The last time I noticed, Cheapy's wife had well under 100 posts, and she is obviously never going to be banned.

hehe, its just a lie to make people click the link.

i have nothing against newbies, im trying to help them out, and you wouldnt believe how many people have viewed this topic since i put that in my sig.

several other cag members have links to this topic in their sigs, but dont get nearly as many clicks, because people see it and it says "if youre new here click this" not alot of people care about the rule and order of the forums, and my link makes more people aware of them.

do you guys think its wrong? that the end does not justify the means?

[punqsux]

there must be unwritten rules the way folks are posting...

there are and we cant type them...duh!
you pick them up as you go

[evilpenguin9000]

Hmmm an unwritten rule...how about "Don't be a douche." That seems applicable to me, but I'm still relatively new here.

[JSweeney]

I don't think there are unwritten rules... it's more than most of the old timers have certain trigger points that will cause them to post for or against people, and sometimes flame them.

Look at SneakyPenguin... mispelt and misshapen postings started to vex him... thus he started to pick at some people's posts.

DarkeKatt got tired of the common grammar errors that grew rampant, thus she helped him pick at posts.

Big Nick and WSB have low tolerances for sheer idiocy..when not posted in the off-topic realm. (And even sometimes if they are :) )
If you run around posting like an idiot in Deal Discussions and such, they'll likely be some of the first in to give you a verbal thrashing.

Lots of the established posters have all of these little trigger points... watch anyone long enough and you'll see them form.
I mean, even I have a set of triggers than anyone who's been here long enough clearly knows.

[MorbidAngel4Life]

DLF didnt jump the shark. DLF "powered" a shark sub, hot mayo, no onion

I hope he gets salmonella from teh hot mayo on his fucking sub.

[zewone]

I just wish people would bring up DLF's name less. I mean he gets more mention here then any of the other banned memebers. It gets really annoying and you know he gets off on this. Did his new alias get banned yet?

P.S. I know its stupid that I'm posting his name when I'm telling people not to. I just wish everyone felt the same way.

[friedram]

N/T

[neocisco]

Thanks, punksux. Obviously I'm extremely new so I appreciate the heads up.

[JSweeney]

Thanks, punksux. Obviously I'm extremely new so I appreciate the heads up.

That's great, neocisco, but realizing that you need help because you are new almost guarantees that you aren't a noob.

[ragepower]

cool

[WhipSmartBanky]

Methinks there's a lot of new CAGs who need to read this...

[punqsux]

ill take a look over this and see if it needs revision/addition

[Mr_hockey66]

thanks pung.

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