Yo stank ass! Use some deodorant!

[WildWop]

So I'm sitting in my cube, minding my own business, when my nostrils are assaulted by what is best described as 'stank.' Adjectives came to mind that are generally used to refer to canine excrement, my home state, and Eddie Murphy's recent movies.

I look around as my eyes begin to tear and my sinuses scream out in agony. "Holy shit!" I realize, "that's someone's B.O.!" No, I think. That can't be right. This is far too pungent. This guy would have to avoid bathing for weeks to get this bad! Is he moonlighting as a garbage collector, with a fetish for sleeping in the trash? Realization sets in. It IS a human producing that stank!

Bear in mind, that I could tell that the source of the stink was moving from over 10 feet away. The eye of the storm must truly be awful for the swirling winds of putrid eminations to be this violent so far from the core.

Normally, after being exposed to a scent, good or bad, for a good amount of time, you get used to it. You don't notice it quite as much. This guy's B.O. however, did not lose its potency. I actually got a little lightheaded (I am NOT exaggerating there, it truly was that awful) for a bit towards the end of my exposure.

The point of this rant?

If you don't wear deodorant, and you stink this bad, do us all a favor and jump off a bridge. Or a tower. Or impale yourself on a butter knife. Or *gasp* take a damn shower, stank ass!

[bignick]

Jersey makes me light headed too.

[Ledhed]

Now that you mention it, I do feel a bit musky...

[Squirms]

At least he wasn't your valet, and premanently stunk up your car with his monster B.O.

[daikaiju]

with a stank like that, there has got to be pit cheese involved too

[Aryss]

Ironically, I ran into this quite a lot working at EB with gamers. It does make you sick after a while, it's a very potent smell that assaults you unlike some other bodily smells. We had one customer complain about someone in the store once.

[Ericnmel99]

LOL thats great....well not for you. Was he a regular in your office? I got a dude that works at my place that smells ripe sometimes. I honestly think he showers twice a week because it gets worse as the week goes on, and his hair gets all greasy and nasty....anyway sorry to hear of your smelly friend.

[magilacudy]

Jersey makes me light headed too.

Nothing clears out the ol' sinuses like driving past Elizabeth on the Turnpike.

[daphatty]

For a second there I thought you were going to tell us the "stank" guy was you.

[WildWop]

LOL thats great....well not for you. Was he a regular in your office? I got a dude that works at my place that smells ripe sometimes. I honestly think he showers twice a week because it gets worse as the week goes on, and his hair gets all greasy and nasty....anyway sorry to hear of your smelly friend.

First I've seen of the guy. Hopefully the last!

He came and went every so often visiting people in nearby cubes, and I could detect where he was in the room by tracking the scent. It didn't take Wolverine to follow that odor, for sure. I think if a dog was in the room, it would be whimpering in the corner.

[WildWop]

Jersey makes me light headed too.

Nothing clears out the ol' sinuses like driving past Elizabeth on the Turnpike.

Mmm... Seaport Stank.

[Renzokuken]

[quote="WildWop"]The eye of the storm must truly be awful for the swirling winds of putrid eminations to be this violent so far from the core.
quote]

Lmfao

[Graystone]

he proably was a bum off the streets cause they could find no temps.

[Spacepest]

Ironically, I ran into this quite a lot working at EB with gamers. It does make you sick after a while, it's a very potent smell that assaults you unlike some other bodily smells. We had one customer complain about someone in the store once.

Gah, that complaining customer might have been me.

Whenever I go shopping at a video game store, I make it a point to get in and out as fast as possible, all the time. Because everyone has a stupid smelly b.o. scented adult or a stinky grubby kid entirely too old to be having a load in their pants walking through the doors every five minutes. I had a friend who owned an indie video game store and he spent alot of time either behind the counter or hiding in the back "repairing" consoles (that was the lie he told employees so he could get away from the real stinkers).

OMG I know exactly what I would have done at work if it was coworker that smelled so bad, because I've done it before. I chase them with a bottle of body spray and spray them against their will.

[coolsteel]

Oh man this has me crackin up , been there for sure. Was working once and this customer walks by, the entire back wall stunk for a good ten minutes, there was no way the stench couldn't be noticed, pure undiluted funk.

[ElfAngel7]

That's a good point. Why is it so hard for these people to bathe? IT TAKES ONLY 5 MINUTES AT THE LEAST TO PREVENT THIS STINK!!! Do it and it actually may improve your social life.

[guyver2077]

how about some free deodorant!!!!

[ElfAngel7]

woohoo! Free anti-stink device!

[WildWop]

how about some free deodorant!!!!

If I had some spray deodorant in my desk, I definitely would have offered it to him. Perhaps sprayed him in the face if he refused/got insulted by my offer. Modesty be damned, my olfactory canals were at risk!

[JamesM4321]

Wildwop....you should be a writer. That was great! I'm serious...you have a great way with words. I wish I had that talent. You'd make a great fiction writer.

[Grave_Addiction]

When me and my brother were younger, he'd have his friend come over during the summer and they'd spend an entire week playing video games night and day.

Showering to them was not needed. They ate a steady diet of Hot Pockets and just got stankier and stankier.

I honestly ended up making them take showers because I couldn't be in the room with them because they stunk so badly. Those were some truely stinky bitches.

Another good story about the same two stinky bastards.

This happened when I was about 14, my brother and his friend were 12 and my older brother was about 20.

My older brother was in his room doing some chick while my parents were asleep and knew that they'd go nuts if they knew what he was doing.

My older brother was a complete dick to us and we hated him and I still dislike him to this day. Anyway, we were all sitting around playing some Magic the Gathering when I convince Adam, my little brother to walk into my older brother's, Jeremy, room.

I ended up having to give him one of my rare cards for him to do it, but he walked in. What happened next was pure chaos. Jeremy started screaming, me and my brother's friend ran into our room and hid in the closet and Adam tried to hide under the bed.

During that time, we tried to be as quiet as possible, but the whole situation was just so damn funny we couldn't help it. Jeremy busts into the room pissed as hell but knew he couldn't do anything to us because all we had to do is tell our parents what he was doing.

After he left, I began to smell a really awful stench coming from Nick, my brother's friend. It turns out that during the time we hid in the closet, Nick was laughing so damn hard that he actually shit his pants.