Crazy and insane high school and college stories from CAGs

[Grave_Addiction]

I thought it would be kind of fun to have a thread dedicated to our crazy stories growing up and in high school and college.

I'll start off with a story of betrayal and revenge. This story was just about a legend at my school.

It starts off back in the summer of 1996 when I was going to be a freshman in high school. I was dating this girl for a couple of months and everything seemed like it was going really well. Well, I guess as well as a high school relationship could be going.

I was really close with my cousin, Dylan, so we would go hang out with my girlfriend a lot. Then, she introduced him to her best friend, and they started hooking up.

So we'd go over her friend's house a lot and just hang out with them when her parents weren't home. One day, while the girls were cooking us food :D, we were able to successfully find the password to her dad's satellite and we ordered several pay-per-view movies.

Well one one day, Dylan and the friend were in the upstairs bedroom and me and my girlfriend were in her friend's room. Like most high school kids, I thought getting your hand down a girl's pants was damn awesome. Not to get too graphic or anything, but getting my hand down her pants I did.

So we messed around for a while nothing too major, and she finally told me that she wanted to stop. I was kinda disappointed, but I didn't push the issue. So we just chilled out for awhile until Dylan came back downstairs, and hung out for a while.

Well, around that time of the finger incident, my girlfriend started to tell me she loved me. I remember the first time she told me that, I was like what the f*ck? So you guys probably know the relationship started to go south really quickly.

She'd always call me all the time and wanted to know where I was constantly. Being a kid, I really liked my freedom, and didn't know what the hell was up with the girl.

So I talked about it with Dylan and the only advice he'd give me was that I needed to end the relationship. So, I called her up and told her that I don't think we should date anymore, but I still wanted to be her friend. She told me that she didn't think she could do that, so I thought everything ended with that.

Well, Dylan and her friend pretty much stopped seeing each other too after that.

Fast forward a bit to the start of school the next year. When school began, I was really happy to see a lot of new hot chicks in school and was excited about all the great possibilities.

That is until I hear from a friend that there's a rumor about me that all I want to do with girls is finger them and then break up with them. :shock: I was like, WTF?? That would go directly against my entire thought process of if you have a willing chick, stay with her if you can, but if she gets too clingy, you need to end the relationship.

Well, of course I found out that my ex-girlfriend is behind the lies. I wouldn't have been very upset about it but it was seriously hindering my rep with the ladies, and you guys know that is sacred.

So, I did something only one who was extremely hurt and desperate would do. I told all my friends that she had butt fur!

That story flew through the school like a pasture on fire. Everyone was talking about how she had a hairy ass, and there was no guy who even thought about dating her after that. My friends made a song about her ass hair. My God, this was really really good stuff.

It pretty much stuck with her all throughout high school, and word from my sources on the inside, she didn't know who spread the rumor at all. It was greatness!

Today, I know the prank was pretty mean, but hey, that goes to show that you don't mess with a man's conquest for the ladies!

[snotknocker]

I've always liked butt fur on chicks. Then again I suffer a mental illness which I also like.

[bignick]

I had two girls get freaky in my bed in college.

[redrobot]

Well I don't have a crazy story that happened to me, all of my stories you have to know the people.

Buuuuut, the big legend at my high school revolved around my older sister's prom. This event changed the way school events are now run, they now BREATHALIZE you before you go in.

So little miss popular decided to go chill at a friends college dorm before prom. Moderation obviously didn't mean much to her as she got piss drunk pretty fast. So she shoes up to prom horribly drunk (not just buzzed like most people). The night quickly degrades as she gets friendly with many people especially favoring the school administration. Eventually throws up on her date who was a really nice guy :( . And here's the best one. Announces to people that she has to be. Hikes up her dress. Squats down in the middle of the floor, and lets it go.

This story was passed down from class to class, I doubt if it will be forgotten any time soon.

There's also the legend of spiderman coming to graduation... :D

[Squirms]

I had two girls get freaky in my bed in college.

Please elaborate BigNick

[yeahokthenfu]

Crazy story?? hmm let me think of one.

I guess the time I had two girls giving me head while I was fiddling with their privates, and like the chick who lived there mother was like spying on us and like told the girl to come out of the room, I guess the mother heard everything, that was kinda odd, havent messed with them two chicks since then.

[Squirms]

Crazy story?? hmm let me think of one.

I guess the time I had two girls giving me head while I was fiddling with their privates, and like the chick who lived there mother was like spying on us and like told the girl to come out of the room, I guess the mother heard everything, that was kinda odd, havent messed with them two chicks since then.

Like totally fer sure, that is like a ton of likes to put into like one sentence ya know.

[Tromack]

Well the craziest story I have is this.
So one day this guy, referred to as J from here on out, who was pretty crazy and an asshole kept making fun of this girl in class. After class this other guy (F), who was a linebacker and a pretty big guy, goes up to J, slams J against his locker, and tells him to stop being such a dick. J then says to F, "I love you, but I don't want to hurt you" and kisses him on the lips. F is livid and says "Touch me again $$$ and I will kick your ass.". J replied "You want to kick my ass? Meet me at Donner (a local park) at 4:00."
At Donner at 4:00 they both show up. F starts stretching and cracking his knuckles and walks towards J. J then goes crazy, runs, jumps, and tackles F. He then starts slamming F's head into the pavement. F's friends come in and pull him off and quickly leave. Noone fucked with J after that.

[Fatesealer]

The only crazy story I have is when this gay dude got all pissed because everyone used to tease him (come on, he told the whole school that he was a fawking vampire!!!)... he just got so frustrated after years of the abuse, he Hulked out and had a 'roid rage attack... and if you need a description of him, think Fantastic 4's Ben 'The Thing' Grimm, only if The Thing never bathed a day in his life and had a massive gap in his teeth...

What's sadder is that he appeared on Sally Jesse Raphael a few years ago and was still a freakin' Hulkmonster...

[daphatty]

Butt fur! Classic. So is this one of those things you wish you could change or would you still start that rumor if you had to relive your teens?

[Grave_Addiction]

Butt fur! Classic. So is this one of those things you wish you could change or would you still start that rumor if you had to relive your teens?

Oh dude ... I definitely would keep that one the same. I think that little lady deserved everything she got when she messed with me!

[Rodimus]

It's funny how a thing like Butt Fur can make you and break you in high school.

[Machine]

Reminds me of the girl in HS who, according to rumor, used a banana to pleasure herself. Whether true or not, she found at least one banana sitting in front of her locker every day for the rest of the year. Rumors can be a bitch in HS.

[Grave_Addiction]

Parental Guidance suggested in reading the following story

Okay fellas, this one's a bit gross, and I'm not particularly proud of it, but I thought some of you might get a kick out of it.

Okay, the story starts off a year before the Crowley Butt Fur Incident, when I was in the 8th grade.

I was dating this chick who was a year older than me and also drove. I really didn't know it then, or maybe I did but didn't care, but she was a really big ho and was pretty dirty. She was still kinda pretty, but ya gotta admit, all us guys go through a couple of those kinds of girls when we're young.

Anyway, we decide to go to the movies one Friday night. She brings her friend and a couple of my friends, Juan and Josh, tag along. My girlfriend is sitting to my left and Juan to my right.

Now keep in mind that I was only in 8th grade and none of us really came close to scoring in anyway up to this point.

During the middle of the movie, my hand slips in her shirt and I do that thing for a little bit. I thought it was pretty damn awesome since she had pretty big boobs.

I don't really know if Juan and Josh knew what I was doing but if they did, they didn't show it. They just kept watching the movie.

Well, one thing leads to another and my hand goes down her pants. I was really new at this, so I really had no idea what I was doing. So I do my thing for a few minutes and some people walk by so I pull my arm away and act like nothing was going on.

That's when I noticed the smell. Yes, the smell. It was like it you let fish rot in a hot Texas summer sun, then took a shit on it, then have someone throw up on your shit and fish. You'd have Vomit Shit Fish. That's exactly what it smelled like.

And yes, I had the right hole so that's not even a thought to take into consideration.

I had no idea what to do with my hand next. It was still wet and dripping with stinky vagina juice.

So being the mean bastard that I am, Juan looks over at me, and I give that kid the stink palm of his life!!! I wiped my whole hand pretty much all over his nose and lips.

Immediately, he starts coughing and gagging and in between gasps of air, I hear him asking "What the fuck is that shit?"

Hahahaha, poor guy. In all honesty, he wasn't that pissed off. Actually, from what I remember, he was cool with it in the end since he never had any contact with another woman up to that point.

My girlfriend was pissed at more for a while too. But honestly, how hard is
to keep yourself clean and not smelling foul down there?

Thinking back on it now, that was a pretty messed up and gross thing to do to my friend and now I would only do it to a person I was about to get into a fight with.

Lesson learned? Never date a chick with a moldy pie.

[Grave_Addiction]

Reminds me of the girl in HS who, according to rumor, used a banana to pleasure herself. Whether true or not, she found at least one banana sitting in front of her locker every day for the rest of the year. Rumors can be a bitch in HS.

Same sort of thing happened with another girl, except it was with a candle. We called her Candlestick Park after that.

[jer7583]

The banana/candlestick thing happend with a girl at my HS as well, but she was a really huge girl, and the story involved a permanent marker losing its cap. I felt kinda bad cause she was always really nice to everyone and she got shit because she was big.

Some of my friends and I planted a works bomb in the mailbox of our HS, it made it difficult to look at any of the teachers straight for a while, or to keep from laughing when they announced it in school.

One of the stranger sexual things was with my current gf at her friends house (with her friend, her friend's sister, and her friend's parents home) she was sittin on my lap, with my hands around her waist. She reaches for a large pillow and starts to undo her pants underneath. So basically we were having a conversation with her friend's mom while I was.. yeah.

Also with my current girlfriend we got cought by the police while I was performing "favors" on her in my car at a spot we used to go to a lot. The cop didn't care about it she just said get out of here and get a room next time..

In college we're at this party with some of my friends, and apparently these two mid 30s chicks had propositioned one of my friends into a threesome at a house nearby. So we snuck over there wanting to hear if this disgusting act was actually going down. Not too much after that we hear "sister chrisitan motoring" by nightranger blaring out the window.. after that he was greeted by a resounding chorus of "motorin!!!" by us..

guess its not that funny or crazy, thats what I get for going to a private High School..

[Dok Diamond]

i vandalized every bathroom at my high school becaue they cheated me, and they knew it was me and tried every way to kick me out, and at the end of the year i ended fighting the security guard, and now i gotta go to court and im still on house arrest for it

[mousin]

oh, i only have 1 gf now, that i "love" but i feel for her, any other gentleman wit me? or am i the only one.

we both lost it to each other back in DEC. so yea, we decided to go against all odds to stick with each other. pretty funny hearing this from a 15 yr old? i was 14 back at the time. ive been with her for exactly 1 year and like 3 days.. :P

[Zenithian Legend]

I had two girls get freaky in my bed in college.

That's just about the greatest story ever Nick.

oh, i only have 1 gf now, that i "love" but i feel for her, any other gentleman wit me? or am i the only one.

we both lost it to each other back in DEC. so yea, we decided to go against all odds to stick with each other. pretty funny hearing this from a 15 yr old? i was 14 back at the time. ive been with her for exactly 1 year and like 3 days.. :P

and you said you weren't 14 or 15 the other day, I knew I saw that you were somewhere

[mousin]

hahahah, ewww smelly pootang.

[HYDE]

This isn't HS or College related (didn't attend enough college to even hope for a good story) but this is a story about a small get together with some friends at our house we were renting a few years ago. I like to tell it, especially while drunk in Vegas, so that others may laugh at my misfortune - perhaps you guys will get a giggle.

Some friends and I were renting a house in a rural city here in San Diego. The house was HUGE, had a pool, a kickin view and neighbors weren't an issue. Needless to say, parties were thrown often. This party, however, was supposed to be a small get together of friends -guys and girls. Nothing too exciting... I thought.

My roomie whom I've been friends with since High school (I'm class of 93 btw) set it up. We brandished the "provisions" pulled a couch out to the front porch and waited, drinks in hand, for the others to arrive at 7:30 - the problem was, I was like a chick swigging on a wine cooler, only this wine cooler was half Bacardi Limon. Needless to say, 7:30, 8, 8:30 rolls around and by then I'm in happy land and totally hax0red. My friend is doing fine as he's playing coherent host. I'm at my peak, which would of been ok, had they arrived on time.

Finally the others arrive but I'm so waxed that I'm rolling around on the grass (wtf) laughing for no reason. I'm sure I was being laughed at during my talent show :)

We go inside, they head out to the pool, and I head to the porceline god. I pray... oh boy do I pray - off and on for 2 hours between sleeping fits on the bathroom floor. Stellar eh? I'm miserable, but not as miserable as I was to be in the morning when the nights happenings were relayed to me by my roomie.

See - it seems the girls decided to go skinny dipping. This is clearly something I would of wanted to be a part of. So while several chicks are naked and frolicking in the pool, I'm passed out with my friend Hurl beside me.

I've never had a sip of Bacardi since and I'll never know what the girls were smuggling that night...

[RedvsBlue]

Ok this happened almost 3 years ago in my freshman year of college. It didn't happen to me but my roommate.


So one night my roommate and a friend of his are sitting at our dorm drinking. Anyway they though that since the RA's room was right across the hall and since he always leaves his door open that it would be a good idea to chuck one of their beer bottles in there. They quickly shut our door but obviously our RA didn't have any sense of humor about broken glass because next thing we know he's pounding on our door. Since we were both freshman we were obviously too young to be drinking and the college also had a no alcohol in the dorms policy we all obvioucly got written up, even though I didn't even have a drop.

That is where my part of the night ends because I decided to go to bed. However, it only gets funnier from here. After we got written up my roommate and his friend decided to head over to the frat they were pledging and drink over there instead. They were happy with this until they started getting pissed that we got written up.

Being the thoughtful college guys that they are they decided to go pee on our RA's door. So they get back and obviously this time his door is closed so they start pissing on the door. Here's the conversation as described to me.

"No no you gotta pee on the door not the floor, it makes too much noise on the floor" Roommate

"Shit did you hear that, it sounded like the other door just opened"friend (the dorms had an inner and outer door)

"Quick, Pinch it off!" roommate

So they take off running down the hall right as the door opens but unfortunetly he recognized them as they were running away. Our RA goes up to the office to fill out a report but on his way up there runs into them and confronts them. They get written up again but this time the Hall Director gets woken up and they have to go down to clean it up.

They ended up getting some BS probation which basically did nothing.

[bob_the_goon]

I had two girls get freaky in my bed in college.

That's cool, but did you ever walk into your room and find a girl you barely knew willingly chained to your bed? She's my best friend now (almost 10 years later).

[PittsburghAfterDark]

Threesomes? First one was the GF's idea, she wanted to be with a woman something fierce. We'd be having sex and she and one of her ex-sorority sisters wanted each other something fierce but the other woman was too shy to actually do it. Needless to say we'd be having sex, she'd call up her friend as we were doing it, describe what we were doing, what she wanted to do to her etc. etc. etc. This got old fast with me as the other woman never came through by showing up. So we place an ad, meet a woman, I initiate the whole thing and after about 20 minutes I'm about as necessary as a large collection of used boogers. So I ended up going to play Wild 9 (This was a while ago, okay???) and to this day I only keep Wild 9 because it's "the threesome game". After that she claimed she wasn't that into it and we never saw the woman gain.

Second threesome. My best female friend I've known for many many years. Her college friend comes to vist, we're in our late 20's. We spend the day drinking and what not. My friend is drunk off her ass and says "Okay J, we're going to get naked, get in bed and have a threesome." and wouldn't you know it... we did. My friend passed out and it was mostly me and her bud messing around. Occasionally she'd come to and want some action, then would go back to sleep. This went on for like 2-3 hours.

In college I was one hella drinker. During Masters Weekend (Yes, the golf tournament, I'll never forget watching this drunk on USA that Friday.) I was drinking MD 20/20 because it was $3.18 a bottle and I was CHEAP, what's changed huh? So anyways I finish the first bottle around 7. I realize that if I don't drink I'll be sober by 10 and that would suck. So we go to the liquor store for another round/bottle.

Okay, so two bottles of MD 20/20 (I never puked BTW.) and I'm plastered. This girl I've been seeing comes over and wants to shaq'fu. So we go to my room, I have a single bed so I throw all the blankets and pillows on the floor and we're doing it. I'm oblivious to the world and what's going on except we're doing it for a looong time, like hours. In the interim people are coming in and out of my room watching and I have no idea they're there. We had that house that everyone showed up to when there was nothing to do, apparently there was nothing to do.

This one kid is sitting on the floor (So I'm told, I don't remember it but the people that told me wouldn't lie about it.) but they say he sat there for two hours absolutely transfixed watching us. I heard the door open a few times but didn't think anything of it. Around 1AM I walk out into the living room naked and asked if anyone hasn't seen me naked yet that night, no one raised their hand. Apparently we put on a show.

Anyways, I went to sleep for a few hours. The girl I was doing was sober and went out and sat in the living room talking to my friends for a while. They were all dumbstruck. At one point she said "I think I'm going to go wake him up and wear him out some more." and.... she did.

Funny thing, I never saw her again after that next morning when her ride came to pick her up.

[Squirms]

When I was in college, me and a few of my friends went down to visit a buddy at a well know college in the Big Ten. We were walking around looking for parties, and quickly found one. We were there for awhile drinking free beer and fucking with the house owners stuff; we had no idea who lived there btw. Eventually we got kicked out of the place, and as we were leaving we saw a bunch of football players and cheerleaders pile out of a nearby house, get into cars and drive off.
There was a banner above the door that said "Happy Birthday Brian" and the door stood wide open. We were all pretty wasted by this point and decided to go into the house.
We get in there and there is one dude sitting on the couch watching TV. We ask him if Brian is there, and he tells us he went to the bar. As we are leaving my friend spots one of the cheerleaders megaphones sitting in the corner. Well he stole it. We ran down the street yelling into the megaphone causing a ton of commotion.
He still has it to this day. I sometimes wonder how much trouble the cheerleader got into for that.

[Grave_Addiction]

Threesomes? First one was the GF's idea, she wanted to be with a woman something fierce. We'd be having sex and she and one of her ex-sorority sisters wanted each other something fierce but the other woman was too shy to actually do it. Needless to say we'd be having sex, she'd call up her friend as we were doing it, describe what we were doing, what she wanted to do to her etc. etc. etc. This got old fast with me as the other woman never came through by showing up. So we place an ad, meet a woman, I initiate the whole thing and after about 20 minutes I'm about as necessary as a large collection of used boogers. So I ended up going to play Wild 9 (This was a while ago, okay???) and to this day I only keep Wild 9 because it's "the threesome game". After that she claimed she wasn't that into it and we never saw the woman gain.

Second threesome. My best female friend I've known for many many years. Her college friend comes to vist, we're in our late 20's. We spend the day drinking and what not. My friend is drunk off her ass and says "Okay J, we're going to get naked, get in bed and have a threesome." and wouldn't you know it... we did. My friend passed out and it was mostly me and her bud messing around. Occasionally she'd come to and want some action, then would go back to sleep. This went on for like 2-3 hours.

In college I was one hella drinker. During Masters Weekend (Yes, the golf tournament, I'll never forget watching this drunk on USA that Friday.) I was drinking MD 20/20 because it was $3.18 a bottle and I was CHEAP, what's changed huh? So anyways I finish the first bottle around 7. I realize that if I don't drink I'll be sober by 10 and that would suck. So we go to the liquor store for another round/bottle.

Okay, so two bottles of MD 20/20 (I never puked BTW.) and I'm plastered. This girl I've been seeing comes over and wants to shaq'fu. So we go to my room, I have a single bed so I throw all the blankets and pillows on the floor and we're doing it. I'm oblivious to the world and what's going on except we're doing it for a looong time, like hours. In the interim people are coming in and out of my room watching and I have no idea they're there. We had that house that everyone showed up to when there was nothing to do, apparently there was nothing to do.

This one kid is sitting on the floor (So I'm told, I don't remember it but the people that told me wouldn't lie about it.) but they say he sat there for two hours absolutely transfixed watching us. I heard the door open a few times but didn't think anything of it. Around 1AM I walk out into the living room naked and asked if anyone hasn't seen me naked yet that night, no one raised their hand. Apparently we put on a show.

Anyways, I went to sleep for a few hours. The girl I was doing was sober and went out and sat in the living room talking to my friends for a while. They were all dumbstruck. At one point she said "I think I'm going to go wake him up and wear him out some more." and.... she did.

Funny thing, I never saw her again after that next morning when her ride came to pick her up.

You, sir, are my hero. Seriously.

[PittsburghAfterDark]

I can top it. At least I think this is the funniest story I have to tell. You be the judge.

First job out of college I moved to Rochester. I moved in and needed to get phone and cable service installed so I go use the downstairs neighbors phone to call the utility company. It's a nice older retired couple and of course they have pictures of their daughter prominently displayed. I comment on how attractive she is and they thank me. Then they ask if I'd like to meet her. They knew that my job was at a network affiliate in town so I had a good job was young, educated... single, why not marry the daughter off to a catch LOL. Thinking that no good looking girl is going to let their parents hook them up I say sure.

She calls. That alone shocked me. Then after 10 minutes of small talk the phone conversation might as well be billed to my credit card at $1.99 a minute. This goes on for like two hours. We agree to meet the next day. Now she comes over, I'm living right above her parents and we're naked and doing it inside 20 minutes of a face to face meeting.

I'm in a bit of a jam here. My college GF is supposed to move in with me in like 2 weeks. I got a place I couldn't afford by myself.... so! We're done and she gets dressed and is in my living room. I start acting nervous and looking at the clock, she asks whats wrong. I'm thinking I need to get rid of this girl and get rid of her quick and for good. I can't afford her coming back or calling. So I tell her that my boyfriend is going to be home any minute and he'll kill me if he finds a woman in our place.

Needless to say, she never called, her parents never talked to me. I called up my friend who had moved to Houston and we laughed our asses off over my quick thinking.

[scdoanintendo]

Well this has nothing to do with any sex experience, sorry. Anyways my high school sr. year my friends and I had to pull the sr. prank. We thought long and decided to let a couple of animals loose in the school. Okay so we orginally planned for just some squirrels or rabbits, but then one of my friends said he knew of an exotic animal dealer. It was about an hour drive, but what the hell. We go down there to see ostriches, foxes, peacocks, kangaroos, etc. We didn't know if this was legal or not, but what the hell that would be the school's problem. We orginally wanted to get a kangaroo as the guy said they are more docile then the rest, but it was also a couple of thousand. We all whipped out our change came to about $300, and the only thing we could afford was 3 peacocks and he threw a chicken. Now mind you the drive home was an hour and we didn't have enough money for cages. I was like a shaq-fu'n episode of the 3 stooges in my friend's van. All my friends got pecked in places no pecking should every get pecked. So we keep these animals at my friends house and conjure our devious plan. After 3 days passed on a Friday we were ready to strike. We thought of such a flawless plan that even teachers were in it. So we let a bird off on each level of the school and waited. It was about 15 minutes in till the dean announced over the pa for an hour delay in class. The whole sr. class knew what this meant to look out side of class and watch the teachers, dean, and principal try and catch those birds. It was like a benny will show all fast paced, slipping, sliding. The birds got in a couple classrooms. pecked a couple of people, good times. We ended up getting caught because one of my friends cracked,but the experience was priceless and the only punishment we got was we could not take finals with the class we stilled graduted with our class though.

[danny-o]

Crazy story?? hmm let me think of one.

I guess the time I had two girls giving me head while I was fiddling with their privates, and like the chick who lived there mother was like spying on us and like told the girl to come out of the room, I guess the mother heard everything, that was kinda odd, havent messed with them two chicks since then.

Your sisters and mother dont count.

[Grave_Addiction]

I can top it. At least I think this is the funniest story I have to tell. You be the judge.

First job out of college I moved to Rochester. I moved in and needed to get phone and cable service installed so I go use the downstairs neighbors phone to call the utility company. It's a nice older retired couple and of course they have pictures of their daughter prominently displayed. I comment on how attractive she is and they thank me. Then they ask if I'd like to meet her. They knew that my job was at a network affiliate in town so I had a good job was young, educated... single, why not marry the daughter off to a catch LOL. Thinking that no good looking girl is going to let their parents hook them up I say sure.

She calls. That alone shocked me. Then after 10 minutes of small talk the phone conversation might as well be billed to my credit card at $1.99 a minute. This goes on for like two hours. We agree to meet the next day. Now she comes over, I'm living right above her parents and we're naked and doing it inside 20 minutes of a face to face meeting.

I'm in a bit of a jam here. My college GF is supposed to move in with me in like 2 weeks. I got a place I couldn't afford by myself.... so! We're done and she gets dressed and is in my living room. I start acting nervous and looking at the clock, she asks whats wrong. I'm thinking I need to get rid of this girl and get rid of her quick and for good. I can't afford her coming back or calling. So I tell her that my boyfriend is going to be home any minute and he'll kill me if he finds a woman in our place.

Needless to say, she never called, her parents never talked to me. I called up my friend who had moved to Houston and we laughed our asses off over my quick thinking.

Hahahahaha! That is pretty damn funny. But I'm just impressed with how fast you were able to do her. Great job on that one. Man, that's gotta be some kind of CAG record.

[PittsburghAfterDark]

On the prank side of things I have a couple of good ones.

- In high school I was able to make myself turn ghost white and sickly looking just by trying. I did this in class one day for a teacher I didn't like. She thought I was going to die, I was shaking and everything. Then I heaved up 3 chewed up blood capsules all over by desk and the floor. Desks around me were flying away from my circle of "bloody spew". Even my friend who knew I was going to do this wasn't sure if I was acting LOL. I got kudos from other teachers and the headmistress on an original prank.

- In college we'd go to this one house for parties all the time. The place would be packed and when the guy would find out we were there we'd get thrown out every time. Funny thing.... we never really did anything bad until he started throwing us out. Never could figure out why we got tossed in the first place. Anywho, we took one of those cheap free phones you used to get for subscribing to a magazine or something to his party. We found a hidden outlet behind a bed called the time recording in Tokyo and then hid the phone. It took him three days to discover why he wasn't getting any phone calls. I have no idea how much 3 days of non-stop calling to Tokyo would have cost in the early 90's. Several thousand dollars? Hell of a contested bill.

Then on the way out, we took his electric meter and hid it under his car. In case you didn't know... that shuts off all power to the unit.

What else can I think of?

- X-rated interviews with heavy metal bands on our college radio station.
- Eating our way around the grocery store late at night because we were broke and having trench coats full of meat products.
- Telling freshmen at the beginning of the year we were from matinence and had interference complaints about their phones that we were going to put a filter in them and bring them right back.
- Doing the same thing to the dorms front desk people and taking their micorwave.
- Liberating 40's from the corner deli.
- Going to nearby colleges and actually using the interference story on the TV lounge TV. Believe it or not it worked once out of three times. The damn RA signed off on our fake paperwork.
- Getting promotional bar girls (Name the liquor or those damn test tube drinks.) to dance for us on a table and as soon as they were out of reach downing everything on their tray without paying.
- Doing stair dives into fraternity house furniture we set up to break our falls. I hate frat boys, always have.
- Paying the cable crews brought in from other cities during back to school week $50 to give us all the channels while we just got billed for basic.
- More liberated shot and beer glasses from 25 cent draft night than I can possibly count.
- A roommate that paid his utility bills by shoplifting a requisite amount of merchandise. Yes, he went to the mall with a shoplifting list.
- Setting off the powder type fire extinguishers inside the Friday midnight showing of movies on campus. Once a year only.....
- Walking around with a double ended dildo hanging out of the bottom of my shorts scaring more than one girl into thinking it was real at first.
- Making vile stews of leftover canned goods and dumping said stew on people's heads we didn't want to come up to our apartment.
- Pouring another stew of canned goods on a neighbors car (Neighbor had thrown a rock through our window months previous. We had doused their grill with a pitcher of water from three flights up.... beauty aiming eh?) in the middle of an Erie, PA winter. The sting beans and corn were frozen to their windows and hood until the first thaw in March, so about two months we got to look at frozen shit on their car.

I'm sure there's more but that's off the top of my head.

[danny-o]

I was king at being an asshole in school.

My friends class was right below the library. I told him to look at the window. He must have seen at least 100+ books raining down from in front of his window.



I walked into a class of my friends that had a sub. 5 minutes into the class I got up and kicked my desk over and yelled out "Fuck this shit! Im outta here!" and skipped out the door, to many cheers.

My 2 friends walked into my class when we had a really old substitute. They lit up a mat of firecrackers and threw them up front and they were loud. one of them jumped out the window (1st floor) and the other simply walked out of the room, right in between the security gaurd and the teacher. I ripped a row of lockers out of the wall.

I beat my first ass, got my first BJ and did alot of growing up.

Instead of playing tennis we would hit the balls at traffic and each other.

I watched the fat teacher fall and break his leg and the whole class laughed at him while he was on the floor groaning.

A teacher told me "your Attitude is Disgusting" and I replied "so is your face."

I threw a doll baby into the middle of the girls volleyball game.

I poured red Dye all over the front of the school sidewalk and they declared an emergency since they thought somone was shot or something.

I snuck into the main office, went on the PA and Said school was closing 3 periods early. Before somone could correct what I said, half the school was already gone.

I made an electric chair in tech class and some idiot sat in it and it made sparks.

I put Wolfenstein 3-d on the computers in school and the dean rounded me and my buddies up for a "knights of the round table" disscussion about how we shouldnt have nazi propaganda.

Me and some freinds threw bottles of piss out the window after class was out. The one time im going to throw it, I toss it, feel a grip on my arm, and I turn around and the principal is pretty angry. I told him I threw a "Quarter" to my friend. He said he saw that it was a bottle. So I did the only thing I could think of on the snap. I told him I used to Live in England and that we called a half filled bottle a Quarter. I got away with that shit.

My crowning achievment: My gym teacher was a total asshole. I ripped out some of my pubes, walked up to him. asked him if I could use the bathroom and when he turned his side to me, I sprinkled them into his hair. This made me a hero :D

I was only caught doing shit once or twice and was rarely put into detention. Theres so much more shit, but I will leave it at this.

I really miss the old days at HS. College wasnt half as fun as this.

[zewone]

Parental Guidance suggested in reading the following story

Okay fellas, this one's a bit gross, and I'm not particularly proud of it, but I thought some of you might get a kick out of it.

Okay, the story starts off a year before the Crowley Butt Fur Incident, when I was in the 8th grade.

I was dating this chick who was a year older than me and also drove. I really didn't know it then, or maybe I did but didn't care, but she was a really big ho and was pretty dirty. She was still kinda pretty, but ya gotta admit, all us guys go through a couple of those kinds of girls when we're young.

Anyway, we decide to go to the movies one Friday night. She brings her friend and a couple of my friends, Juan and Josh, tag along. My girlfriend is sitting to my left and Juan to my right.

Now keep in mind that I was only in 8th grade and none of us really came close to scoring in anyway up to this point.

During the middle of the movie, my hand slips in her shirt and I do that thing for a little bit. I thought it was pretty damn awesome since she had pretty big boobs.

I don't really know if Juan and Josh knew what I was doing but if they did, they didn't show it. They just kept watching the movie.

Well, one thing leads to another and my hand goes down her pants. I was really new at this, so I really had no idea what I was doing. So I do my thing for a few minutes and some people walk by so I pull my arm away and act like nothing was going on.

That's when I noticed the smell. Yes, the smell. It was like it you let fish rot in a hot Texas summer sun, then took a shit on it, then have someone throw up on your shit and fish. You'd have Vomit Shit Fish. That's exactly what it smelled like.

And yes, I had the right hole so that's not even a thought to take into consideration.

I had no idea what to do with my hand next. It was still wet and dripping with stinky vagina juice.

So being the mean bastard that I am, Juan looks over at me, and I give that kid the stink palm of his life!!! I wiped my whole hand pretty much all over his nose and lips.

Immediately, he starts coughing and gagging and in between gasps of air, I hear him asking "What the shaq-fu is that shit?"

Hahahaha, poor guy. In all honesty, he wasn't that pissed off. Actually, from what I remember, he was cool with it in the end since he never had any contact with another woman up to that point.

My girlfriend was pissed at more for a while too. But honestly, how hard is
to keep yourself clean and not smelling foul down there?

Thinking back on it now, that was a pretty messed up and gross thing to do to my friend and now I would only do it to a person I was about to get into a fight with.

Lesson learned? Never date a chick with a moldy pie.

LMAO! Me and my friends do that all the time to each other. Oh man I had some pretty foul p-juice on my face, I never got my friends as good as they got me because they always mess with hoes.

[yogi99]

There was a guy in my high school year who liked to jump from 2nd floor before class (the class is right after lunch) all the time. He jumped from the 2nd floor to the grass below and rolled on the grass. I wanted to try it too but I'm afraid I might get hurt doing it.

[Grave_Addiction]

Here's one to chuckle at.

Me and my friends would always go to the mall to hang out. At one entrance to the mall there was a bridge connecting the parking lot to the mall entrance. From the parking lot, there was a hill that sloped really steep all the way to where the entrance was.

If you were walking on the bridge either way, it looked like there was nothing on either side of you, like a really big drop off. But, in reality, the ground was only about seven feet under the bridge.

Well my friend, Adam, would start pacing back and forth around the bridge like he was really stressed out and something was messing with him.

Me and the rest of us would sit on a bench across from him and act like we were trying to calm him down while he was yelling and screaming crazy nonsense.

By this time, a lot of people would stop and stare to see what was going on.

Then he would start screaming that he was going to do it, he was going to jump.

He'd crawl over the railing, and turn and look back at us.

At this point, all of us would start screaming and pleading with him not to jump.

People were pretty scared at this point.

He would tell us not to come any closer, or he would jump.

Then, at the right time, he would jump off to the screams and horror of all the people watching.

Most people would rush to railing to see what happened to him only to see the ground a few feet away from them and all of us laughing our asses off at them.

That was actually one of the funniest pranks we did on people.

[Grave_Addiction]

We also had an idea that we never really pulled off, but it would have been great.

We were going to get a trash can, full it full of the grossest crap we could think of then drag it to someone's house.

We'd open the screen door and prop it against the door and ring the door bell.

When the person would open the door, the shit can would splash all over them!

[Gameboy415]

So there was this really introverted girl at my High School named Sarah. She never talked to anyone, and never did any class activities or trips. Plus her mom picked her up THE SECOND school got out.
Anywho, some of my friends came up with the nickname "PSU" or The "Pale-skinned Ugly". Anywho, one day in study hall we were sitting behind her and I had an old copy of Weekly World News that I was cutting up for class. And there happened to be an article about werewolf babies in that issue. So, being the classy gentlemen we were, we started cutting out pics of werewolf babies, taping them to paper airplanes, and throwing them at the PSU. Our teacher saw us and said to knock it off and clean everything up. So my friend Scott picks everything up and he's walking to the front of the room to throw the stuff out. OR NOT.

He dropped the whole pile of werewolf baby pics on her desk and she went NUTS!

This girl, that had barely spoken to ANYONE in the 5 years we went to school with her, started screaming "KNOCK IT OFF YOU FUCKING BASTARDS!" And everyone in class froze and was like "shit, we're gonna die". Even or teacher was like "Whoah.....what's the problem Sarah?" To which she replied "THERE'S NO PROBLEM! THE PROBLEM IS THESE FUCKING BASTARDS!" And then our teacher asked her to come out into the hall and he pulled out both of my friends one by one but I didn't get blamed at all. She was out of school for about a week after that and when she got back she was a psycho goth chick that NEVER shut up.

Yipes.

[yeahokthenfu]

Crazy story?? hmm let me think of one.

I guess the time I had two girls giving me head while I was fiddling with their privates, and like the chick who lived there mother was like spying on us and like told the girl to come out of the room, I guess the mother heard everything, that was kinda odd, havent messed with them two chicks since then.

Like totally fer sure, that is like a ton of likes to put into like one sentence ya know.
Yeah I know, but it was like you know like so totally like you cool man, also it was like a prolonged sentence and like I couldnt get the words on the paper.

[Grave_Addiction]

So there was this really introverted girl at my High School named Sarah. She never talked to anyone, and never did any class activities or trips. Plus her mom picked her up THE SECOND school got out.
Anywho, some of my friends came up with the nickname "PSU" or The "Pale-skinned Ugly". Anywho, one day in study hall we were sitting behind her and I had an old copy of Weekly World News that I was cutting up for class. And there happened to be an article about werewolf babies in that issue. So, being the classy gentlemen we were, we started cutting out pics of werewolf babies, taping them to paper airplanes, and throwing them at the PSU. Our teacher saw us and said to knock it off and clean everything up. So my friend Scott picks everything up and he's walking to the front of the room to throw the stuff out. OR NOT.

He dropped the whole pile of werewolf baby pics on her desk and she went NUTS!

This girl, that had barely spoken to ANYONE in the 5 years we went to school with her, started screaming "KNOCK IT OFF YOU shaq-fuing BASTARDS!" And everyone in class froze and was like "shit, we're gonna die". Even or teacher was like "Whoah.....what's the problem Sarah?" To which she replied "THERE'S NO PROBLEM! THE PROBLEM IS THESE shaq-fuing BASTARDS!" And then our teacher asked her to come out into the hall and he pulled out both of my friends one by one but I didn't get blamed at all. She was out of school for about a week after that and when she got back she was a psycho goth chick that NEVER shut up.

Yipes.

Yeah, I have many stories similar to that where we made fun of people. We had several nicknames for the girls at our school. Dirty Magoo, Sideways Walker, Bebop (Cause she always be bopping her head around), Redface and tons of others.

Now I realize that we were some mean bastards, but at the time we thought it was funny.

[Grave_Addiction]

Crazy story?? hmm let me think of one.

I guess the time I had two girls giving me head while I was fiddling with their privates, and like the chick who lived there mother was like spying on us and like told the girl to come out of the room, I guess the mother heard everything, that was kinda odd, havent messed with them two chicks since then.

Like totally fer sure, that is like a ton of likes to put into like one sentence ya know.
Yeah I know, but it was like you know like so totally like you cool man, also it was like a prolonged sentence and like I couldnt get the words on the paper.

Hey man, if that is a true story, you can talk however the hell you want, because that was a damn good way with the ladies.

[Zenithian Legend]

Heh, renaming people is great. In my IPC class during my senior year of high school a friend of mine and I got really bored so we began renaming all the kids in the class. The best though had to be Vince McMahon. This guy was a little "slow" yet for some reason had a job with the school radio station, on air mind you. There was also a kid we renamed gopher, for God knows what reason. Anyway we convinced Vince McMahon that he was a gopher hunter, and so throughout the semester Vince would give detailed speeches about catching and killing gophers and stuff like that. His best speech though, was one in which he got a copy of the Gopher's speech and proceeded to use it as his own speech. Of course the gopher had to speak after him, so that was pretty good for a laugh. I'd also give Vince chairs and stuff, and since he was psycho he'd hit people with em.



A far creepier high school story would be one from my sophomore year. I was a student aid in the office because I dropped by german class, essentially because the teacher was really a Nazi (her dad fought for Austria in WWII). Anyway the other kid in the office was this crazy hippie, always talking about Rasta shit and that sorta thing. Well I liked to give him a hard time, and could probably write a book about all the tricks I played on him, I actually feel kinda bad looking back, but when I think about it more I realize he was a year older than me so it's his own fault he took that much shit from an underclassmen. So, the hippie had various strange friends come in and visit him, all other hippies and goth kids. Well one day this goth girl comes in and I dunno what I said, but she just stops her conversation with The Hippie and says to me, "Ya know someone should kill you." I just looked at her like WTF... mind you this was only a few weeks after the whole Columbine thing had happened. So, turns out that the goth girl killed herself that night. Still to this day I have no idea why she said someone should kill me, but I always get freaked out a bit when I think about that.

[yeahokthenfu]

Crazy story?? hmm let me think of one.

I guess the time I had two girls giving me head while I was fiddling with their privates, and like the chick who lived there mother was like spying on us and like told the girl to come out of the room, I guess the mother heard everything, that was kinda odd, havent messed with them two chicks since then.

Like totally fer sure, that is like a ton of likes to put into like one sentence ya know.
Yeah I know, but it was like you know like so totally like you cool man, also it was like a prolonged sentence and like I couldnt get the words on the paper.


Hey man, if that is a true story, you can talk however the hell you want, because that was a damn good way with the ladies.\
Yeah but some people just got to get there two cents in

[matyou]

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