Getting the wife to game ...

[CrimsonPaw]

OK all, I'm looking for a little advice here; my wife and I have been married for 11+ years (known each other for 15+) and for the life of me, or her, she does not get my gaming habbit. Does anyone have have some advice on how to get a 31 y/o mother of 2 into gaming at this point? I figured I'd post in the Wii room since that is the logical "first step" in my mind (I have all 3 major consoles plus DS and PSP).

I constantly hear about how guys are having their Girlfriend or wife play or watch them play and there has to be something to catch their interest. My only hope is that Nintendo releases a clearance shopping game.

Suggestions?

[Mr Unoriginal]

Three words: Rez Trance Vibrator.

[ninju D]

I hate to say it but you might just be SOL. If you already have a DS and a Wii and a good selection of non-violence related games and she hasn't picked it up yet, it doesn't look too good.
Some times it is just a matter of finding them a game they like, but in most cases they just don't care enough to even try. If that is the case, don't get bummed. It happens. I have only had 1 GF in the past 10+ years who was moderately interested in gaming. Now, a good friend of mine is married to a girl who LOVES games and plays as much as we do. I've even tried to have her talk to my current GF about getting into games. No dice. Current GF doesn't get my gaming habbits either, but I've told her from the start that she doesn't have to get it. She just has to respect that this is a hobby of mine and something I'm going to do for the forseeable future. Good news is she does.

Maybe you should be asking yourself: why after 11+ years of being with this person and finding out that she isn't into it, do you still want to get her over to the gaming side? If you are just looking for something to do together then I suggest looking for a different hobby. I'm not saying give up gaming, but find something the both of you are into. Maybe biking or canoeing or something. I you just want her to stop ragging on you for gaming then you need to have a chat with her about what interests you and why.
Bottom line: GF/wife= EXTREME YMMV

[SpecTrE3353]

My wife isn't much of a gamer but I was able to get her interested in stuff like New Super Mario Bros (DS), Mario Party (GC/Wii), Viva Pinata (360) and Guitar Hero (All).

[ninju D]

My wife isn't much of a gamer but I was able to get her interested in stuff like New Super Mario Bros (DS), Mario Party (GC/Wii), Viva Pinata (360) and Guitar Hero (All).

I've had some success with Viva Pinata and GH but it has been limited.

[deadite76]

Karaoke Revolution and Animal Crossing are my wife's personal faves!

[CrimsonPaw]

Maybe you should be asking yourself: why after 11+ years of being with this person and finding out that she isn't into it, do you still want to get her over to the gaming side? If you are just looking for something to do together then I suggest looking for a different hobby. I'm not saying give up gaming, but find something the both of you are into. Maybe biking or canoeing or something. I you just want her to stop ragging on you for gaming then you need to have a chat with her about what interests you and why.
Bottom line: GF/wife= EXTREME YMMV
You make a good point, but I believe that the Wii may be a way to get her into it. You may be right, I may be SOL, but because the Wii is attracting such a broad audience I figure I have a better chance having her enter into the gaming world via these means.

I have a few other hobbies as well, but with a 7 year old (in sports) and a 9 month old (and me back in school) our free time extends from 10p.m. till when we go to bed. As for her ragging on me, that's not usually an issue and really not the reason for my want.

I guess I'll just have to see if anything catches her interest; I do remember that when Mario 64 came out she was all about playing the ice level where you could slide down the mountain -- I'm hoping Mario Galaxy catches her attention as well.

Edit: VP may be a way to go, and she may get into Guitar Hero (but $80 is alot for one game) since she's all about rocking out. Good suggestions, thanks.

[Chris in Cali]

My advice, don't force people to do things they don't want to do. Not everyone wants to play video games.

[ryanbph]

If you are into playing online games, IMO don't bother...a good friend of mine got his wife into playing gears of war, and he was never ever able to play online..she doesn't work, so she was always home when he wanted to play...they just renewed there vows, and went on a honeymoon, so it will be interesting to see if they get into online games via halo 3 (they picked it up the week of there renewal of vows, but didn't have time to play)

[Puffa469]

Try simple stuff like puzzle games. Most non gaming females will at least play a little Tetris or Bejeweled.

The main thing is not to act like gaming is something that she must learn to do. The quickest way to turn someone off to something is to act like its something they have to do. Never act like your dissapointed that she's not a gamer, thats a big turnoff.

I know thats not much help, but you may have to face the fact that some people will never be gamers.

[Starkraving]

If after 15 years she does not understand what draws you to gaming, then I don't know what to say. I can understand her not wanting to game, or her general disinterest in gaming, but have you ever tried to help her understand your hobby? She doesn't have to like playing or even watching video games, but at very least, after 15 years, she should understand why you like it. Then again, maybe I'm an idealist.

My wife doesn't game very often. We got her a Nintendo DS a few years ago, but very few games held her attention. The one game that ended up taking up most of her time? Picross DS.

How does she feel about your children and gaming? Does she disapprove or is she just disinterested?

When my wife and I met, I was initially nervous about revealing how much I loved video games. I had never dated someone who liked games.

Even though she wasn't and isn't a gamer, she had some memories of the old NES. That was our common ground. Everyone remembers Super Mario Bros. and Zelda. The first year we lived together she bought me an Xbox (I didn't even ask her for it). She has subsequently helped me through puzzles in all kinds of games, including God of War, Shadow of the Colossus, and many others. We don't game together ever, but it's nice to sit and do that every now and again.

As far as you 'forcing' her to show interest in gaming, I don't think that's your intention and it doesn't have to be that dramatic.

In an ideal situation, you and your wife can agree on ways to overlap your hobbies. Your respective hobbies aren't going anywhere, they just may not merge. So, arrange to take a back seat to her on a shopping day (believe me, this takes a lot of patience)... and then in turn, arrange to have her share a gaming experience with you. This is what marriage is... compromises. This isn't 'forcing' anything, it's finding ways to better understand things about someone that we might not initially understand or relate to. If you love each other than you find a way.

[vasco]

Fuck that shit! You do something she knows you hate doing, but she loves doing. Then compromise on her trying to do things she doesn't like but you do. Like videogames. My wife loves the Brain Age and and Big Brain Academy stuff. Mario Parties, puzzle games. She loved Heavenly Sword. As long as the camera rotation doesn't get her dizzy, she'll play. She is stoked, as I am, in Super Smash Bros. Especially now that it has Sonic. How did I get her into this? I started running with her. I can't stand it, I detest it. But I do it. Oh yeah, we also have a 2 (3 in Dec) and a 6 month old. If all else fails, find a wife who will play games with you. Just kiddin! Good luck.

[WiiGame]

if she hasn't gotten into Wii Sports, wait for Wii Fit... and then strike with the kill... what woman doesn't like the idea of loosing weight and having fun doing it? (even when there like 5'6 and 115 lbs...lol)

if she doesn't get into that than all hope is lost

[Legendaryhedgehog06]

MySims would be a pretty good start. It has a very simple pick up and play intrface and an inviting gameplay premise and presentation. My wife went cuckoo for cocoa puffs over it.

[mickeyp]

My question is how to get my husband to understand my gaming habit. lol

[Cambot]

Well, OP... my advice is to find a game where she can kick your ass. Nothing gets my fiancee into games more than when she can kick my ass in something (psst... sometimes I let her).

[Snake2715]

zookeeper for DS

Dewys Adventure is a sliding game where you slide the character around for all the levels.

Does Wii Sports interest her at all?

[MidnightRain]

Honestly, if she hasn't expressed any interest in games in that amount of time, especially after seeing how much you enjoy gaming, it could be a lost cause.

Any chance she's intimidated, i.e. doesn't want to play because she thinks she won't be any good? If that's the case, you might have a better shot at getting her interested in gaming. Pick a game that you could play together that you can help her with, without making it really obvious that you're helping her. (The co-op mode in Lego Star Wars comes to mind, but just about any co-op game will do.)

[ighosty]

they were actually talkin about this on the IGN podcast the other day. They said that you just have to find something that she is interested in, such as puzzle games or whatever. Then play one when shes around see if she takes interest if she does then ask here if she wants to play it if she doesn't maybe try a different game. They said it is most important to make sure it is something she would be interested in and not to try and force her to play anything.

[Judge Groovyman]

You may have to tie her to a chair and tape her eyelids and show her gameplay videos for 6 days ... I hope you won't have to resort to such extreme measures.

Actually I think you can do it if you can open the right doors. My wife is naturally somewhat interested in what I'm interested in, so I have a distinct advantage ... but I still had to find the right games for her. it took a while but now she plays more than me.

For example: I knew she liked singing so I (like someone mentioned above) got her karaoke revolution and sat her down one night and said "We are about to play a game that neither of us have played before and yet as soon as it starts you will be better than me at it". She liked the intrigue.
I found her playing solitaire and mah jongg on the computer, and thus I found a bunch of similar game son my ds and showed them to her, and she loved them (touch masters is her favorite game of all). Basically I had to play to her particular interests - she still doesn't like all games, but she likes the games I mentioned and virtually all party game sfor the wii.
I have to let her pick the games she wants and let her play what she is excited about ... the games she picks are not necessarily the most critically acclaimed, nor do they always end up having all the right features and modes, and sometimes they even have bugs ... but it doesnt matter, as long as the setup is right and they are fun for us, they are worth every penny.


Good luck.


BTW: MidnightRain: Killer Avatar!!!! AWESOME GAME!!! (Beyond Good and Evil for those wondering - one of the most underrated ever and a wonderful experience)

[Dream to Dream]

I have a few other hobbies as well, but with a 7 year old (in sports) and a 9 month old (and me back in school) our free time extends from 10p.m. till when we go to bed.

Is your 7-year old into games as well? If so, try some games the three of you can play together (Mario Party or WarioWare come to mind). Making it a "family event" might be more appealing to her than just the two of you.

[freshzen]

Get a divorce.

j/k
j/k

I'm guessing some people just do not enjoy or understand video games.

[MidnightRain]

BTW: MidnightRain: Killer Avatar!!!! AWESOME GAME!!! (Beyond Good and Evil for those wondering - one of the most underrated ever and a wonderful experience)

Thank you! BG&E is one of my all-time favorite games. I'm a photographer so Jade is basically my video game alter ego.

[pittpizza]

I have a fiance and we have been together almost 6 years now. She HATES video games but not because of the gaming, but because it takes attention away from her. She isn't even that needy or attention hungry...lets just say I spend more time with my xbox and wii than she would like me to.

She does enjoy WiiVote and sometimes did not mind watching me play Zelda (for like 1 minute though). She will jump in and play Wii sports (which I dont really like that much but company loves it).

I think I am SOL b/c she doesnt isnt that interested. I tried to get her to play pikmin but it was sort of overwhelming I guess. She is probably one of the type that is worried she won't be good and therefore doesnt try.

The problem is that when she plays I try to help her and probably direct her too much; if I didnt though, she would never try. She def. will never be into any shooting game, but maybe I should get Wii play or mario party. She seemed to be okay with playing marioparty on teh wii at a freinds house but even then was take it or leave it.

[pinebarrens]

I finally had some luck with the new Zelda on DS. The game is easier for her to play because of the stylus.

[dothog]

Play co-op games with her, even if they're games you don't like. Co-op is how you suck non-gamers into games. If you just leave them alone with games you hope they'll like, it's not enough. You've got to play along with them and have fun.

My wife only genuinely responded to one console and a few games on that console: the DC and Crazy Taxi, SC5, and ChuChu Rocket. She started out by watching me play CT every now and then. Then she wanted to try and really enjoyed it, so we'd play together and pass the controller between us. Then I bought ChuChu for us to play together, and she enjoyed that. After all of that gaming I felt like she dug the DC enough to get her a game of her own, so I got SC5 and she was crazy about it.

Later on, she liked a few games on the GC, but mostly outside of those few years with the DC, she just doesn't like to game. What the hell can you do? We each have our TV time, and neither of us approves of the other's use of that time: I use mine for occasional gaming, she uses hers for that shitty, shitty Grey's Anatomy program.

[pittpizza]

HOLY CRAP DOTHOG GET OUTTA MY HEAD!

"What the hell can you do? We each have our TV time, and neither of us approves of the other's use of that time: I use mine for occasional gaming, she uses hers for that shitty, shitty Grey's Anatomy program."

You just summed up my fiance and I's weeknight to a T. She will be watching some fucking *od awful show like Greys Anatomy, two nights of dancing with the stars, and any other mindless shit like Whoreguna Beach.

I'm surprised that nobody has yet brought up the point: "Beware what you wish for!" I enjoy my gaming time when she is holed up in the bedroom feasting on brain rot TV.

[dmaul1114]

I'm surprised that nobody has yet brought up the point: "Beware what you wish for!" I enjoy my gaming time when she is holed up in the bedroom feasting on brain rot TV.

Yep. Having that kind of space is the key to a good relationship for me. Have to have your own hobbies in addition to stuff you enjoy doing together.

I could see both liking games being huge if you're a hardcore gamer that's playing 20+ hours a week or something, but it has never been an issue for me since I rarely play more than 5 hours, and often less than that. Just a few binges when something like a Zelda game comes out that really sucks me in.

[Snake2715]

Greys anatomy... so did anyone catch that while sitting next to their wife playing zelda PH last night?

[Cambot]

Greys anatomy... so did anyone catch that while sitting next to their wife playing zelda PH last night?

HAHA! You nailed it. Seriously. Man...

[CrimsonPaw]

HOLY CRAP DOTHOG GET OUTTA MY HEAD!

"What the hell can you do? We each have our TV time, and neither of us approves of the other's use of that time: I use mine for occasional gaming, she uses hers for that shitty, shitty Grey's Anatomy program."

You just summed up my fiance and I's weeknight to a T. She will be watching some fucking *od awful show like Greys Anatomy, two nights of dancing with the stars, and any other mindless shit like Whoreguna Beach.

I'm surprised that nobody has yet brought up the point: "Beware what you wish for!" I enjoy my gaming time when she is holed up in the bedroom feasting on brain rot TV.
Wow, sounds like you guys have the same lady as I do. I'll get my gaming time in while she's watching "The Practice", "Gray's Anatomy", or "Dirty Sexy Money" (thank God for Tivo so she can watch them after the kids go to bed). Thankfully she's getting into that new show "Reaper" since I really like it, Socks cracks me up.