Strange Goings-on in the Men's Bathroom... KEEP IT AT HOME, SPANKY

[WildWop]

Ok, so I just walked into the bathroom at work--a smaller-variety bathroom with two stalls and a urinal--expecting nothing out of the ordinary. Just piss and get out. Apparently fate did not have this in store for me.

Upon entering, I noticed a pair of feet with the pants down around the ankles in the stall to the right of the urinal. Nothing out of the ordinary there either, right? WRONG. No sooner had I stepped up to the plate and began saturating the puck this guy leaves the stall.

No flush?

Hmm..

Mystery man in a (rather lame, really) plaid shirt walks to the sink, washes his hands, and leaves. Out of curiosity, I look in the stall when I'm done to see if he'd left a present for the next occupant. He didn't.

There are two things I find odd about this situation. One is the lack of a flush/reason to flush following a pants-down period. The other is the need to wash his hands following a no-flush activity. Odd.

Odd, that is, unless you consider the obvious.

Clue #1: Pants-down, no flush
Clue #2: Pants-down, no flush, WASHED HANDS

These clues added up to a vigorous handwashing on my part, followed by copious use of paper towels to grab the door handles on my way out. Something tells me that I will be taking the extra time to walk across the floor to the other, larger, potentially cleaner bathroom when next the need arises.

EDIT: Spelling lessons!

[PsyClerk]

Uh, I'm not sure you want to post that you go into bathroom stalls after people to see what was going on.

[Grave_Addiction]

I have to say that I'd probably have looked too.

I think this guy was wanking the twanker, but you must have ruined his moment. That's why he decided to stop and wash his hands.

If he would have done the deed, he would have to have had some kind of toilet paper to do clean-up duty.

[cmdryuk]

Hahahah... I probably would have looked too had I noticed the circumstances, but I don't think I would have been paying that much attention to someone else's bathroom habits during my time in the bathroom though. In response to the original point though... gross...

[Ericnmel99]

Man with all the stories you have, you must have one crazy office! Is there any normal people there that either dont smell, have office ass or hide in the bathroom? .....keep the stories coming! :)

[WildWop]

Uh, I'm not sure you want to post that you go into bathroom stalls after people to see what was going on..


You telling me you wouldn't be curious?

[WildWop]

Hahahah... I probably would have looked too had I noticed the circumstances, but I don't think I would have been paying that much attention to someone else's bathroom habits during my time in the bathroom though. In response to the original point though... gross...

Anytime someone gets up from a toilet without flushing qualifies as an out-of-the-ordinary event, and doesn't require you to pay serious attention to the people around you--in a bathroom of that size--to notice it.

[Cornfedwb]

What.. you people have never seen someone take a load and not flush? It's quite possible the guy just doesn't flush the toilet.

[johnnyoski]

The only other thing I can suggest is that he did several courtesy flushes before you got there. But even if that was the case you would have heard some stirring from the tp dispenser.
BTW...I always use paper towel on the door handle when I'm leaving any community restroom. Too many folks that don't wash their hands after #1 and probably even after #2.

[WhipSmartBanky]

Did you look behind the door? Maybe he busted his nut from the seated position.

[yeahokthenfu]

Hey you never know he could have just been sleeping, some guy at my old office used to do that all the time, he got into some serious trouble.

[Grave_Addiction]

The only other thing I can suggest is that he did several courtesy flushes before you got there. But even if that was the case you would have heard some stirring from the tp dispenser.
BTW...I always use paper towel on the door handle when I'm leaving any community restroom. Too many folks that don't wash their hands after #1 and probably even after #2.

I usually take that a step further and lay down toilet paper on the seat before I drop the kids off at the pool. Too many nasty asses have sat on that toilet before me, and I don't want my ass to touch the same thing that some other dude's ass just touched minutes before me.

[WildWop]

The only other thing I can suggest is that he did several courtesy flushes before you got there. But even if that was the case you would have heard some stirring from the tp dispenser.
BTW...I always use paper towel on the door handle when I'm leaving any community restroom. Too many folks that don't wash their hands after #1 and probably even after #2.

There was no trademark whine of a recently-flushed toilet to indicate that he had been courtesy flushing.

I also use paper towels all the time, but I used a few extra this time, what with what had been going on in there.

[WildWop]

What.. you people have never seen someone take a load and not flush? It's quite possible the guy just doesn't flush the toilet..

You missed the part where I said that the toilet was free and clear. Nothing in it but clear water.

[Rich]

I usually take that a step further and lay down toilet paper on the seat before I drop the kids off at the pool. Too many nasty asses have sat on that toilet before me, and I don't want my ass to touch the same thing that some other dude's ass just touched minutes before me.

I went 6 weeks at Boston College without my ass ever touching a toilet. Squatting rules.

[icruise]

Maybe the guy sat down and (for whatever reason) decided he couldn't go after all (maybe he can't go when other people are in the room). Washing his hands after coming out isn't that strange -- he was in the stall after all.

BTW it's "urinal"

[johnnyoski]

I usually take that a step further and lay down toilet paper on the seat before I drop the kids off at the pool. Too many nasty asses have sat on that toilet before me, and I don't want my ass to touch the same thing that some other dude's ass just touched minutes before me.

Yep, I do that too. I prefer to line the seat myself with tp rather than use the toilet liners. Those things just don't work like they should.

[daphatty]

What I don't get is how some states DON'T require public bathrooms to have toilet liners. It just boggles the mind I tell ya!

EDIT: Another pet peeve of mine are public bathrooms that only have ONE toilet liner dispenser, RIGHT BY THE FUCKING BATHROOM DOOR WHERE EVERYONE CAN LOOK YOU IN THE EYE. No privacy I tell ya.

[evilpenguin9000]

Maybe that guy suffered from the horrible phantom shit. where you think you need to take one, but the urge disappears when you sit down. Or maybe he's shy and didn't want to drop a bomb with someone else in the bathroom. Or maybe he was bored and yanking it. It could be anything.

[BigLebowski]

Maybe that guy suffered from the horrible phantom shit. where you think you need to take one, but the urge disappears when you sit down. Or maybe he's shy and didn't want to drop a bomb with someone else in the bathroom. Or maybe he was bored and yanking it. It could be anything.

He may have released a tremendous fart, as well. I am sure we have all fallen victim to this- you feel the urge to fart, but decide that it may be the type of fart that you just can't trust... the kind with a lump in it, maybe. He may not have wanted to take any chances, sat down and released clean gas. That is my guess, anyways.

[Ikohn4ever]

could have been constipated, get the guy some exlax, he'll thank u tomorrow

[The Gifuto]

I have to give you guys credit for being concerned with toliet sanitation. After spending 4 years in the Marine Corps, I have taken numerous dumps in some really "shitty" places. As a result, I couldn't care less about some toliet seat liners, if I have to shit, I shit. I don't necessarily care where either, as long as it isn't in my pants. Of course, I probably have ass herpes now because of it, but what the hell. Anyway, back to the topic at hand, my vote is for the guy catching some shut eye. I have used this technique many times. I always flush afterwards though, it helps to maintain the illusion.

[spoo]

Maybe his wife is mad at him. Sometimes a man must take care of his own business. It is strange thing to do at work but what ever floats your boat.

[daikaiju]

my vote goes to constipation ...and as far as ass gaskets go, I wish I was the guy who invented them - he's gotta be making an "assload" of cash!

[Moxio]

I'm going to guess he was masturbating, or was just trying to take abreak off from work and wanted to convince, so he pulled his pants down.

[Ericnmel99]

Maybe the guy sat down and (for whatever reason) decided he couldn't go after all (maybe he can't go when other people are in the room). Washing his hands after coming out isn't that strange -- he was in the stall after all.

BTW it's "urinal"

Ive done that before. You sit down get all ready to go and someone walks right in (its even worse when they sit in the stall next to you). I just get up and walk out. Especially in a work bathroom where you know who everyone is, i dont want to be the guy who everyone hears taking a dump..... We allreay have that guy at work.

[crazytalkx]

He probably just couldn't do the deed because somebody else was in the bathroom. Btw I try to avoid public bathrooms at all costs.