Cheapass wedding gift etiquette?

[BustaUppa]

Alright, so I'm invited to this wedding on Saturday. It's for a girl I know; we're not like super-close or anything but we go to the same church.

I got the invitation like a few weeks before the wedding. There's nothing about a reception on it, and nothing about a gift registry.

So like, what are the norms for gift-giving in that scenario? The last couple of weddings I attended involved close friends, registries, and big receptions, so it was easier to figure things out. But in this case I'm kinda clueless as to what's expected of me!

[seanr1221]

Just you were invited? I dunno, 75.00 check?

[darthbudge]

Just you were invited? I dunno, 75.00 check?

Really? I was thinking something cheaper, like $50 at max, especially if you barely know her.

[seanr1221]

Really? I was thinking something cheaper, like $50 at max, especially if you barely know her.

I guess it depends how much he'll eat/drink.

Thats what I go by.

[BustaUppa]

Well I'm definitely past the "barely know her" level, but yikes! My current budget can't really accommodate dropping $75 on a formality. Maybe I'll just say that I'm out of town for the day (which is true... I'm going into the city so I'd be pulling a quick hit 'n run for the wedding anyway). I haven't RSVP'ed yet so it's not like I'd be flaking out here.I guess it depends how much he'll eat/drink.

Thats what I go by.Well this is assuming no reception, so I will be consuming $0.00 worth of food and beverage!

[MCalvert1]

There's nothing about a reception on it, and nothing about a gift registry.

Chance of no reception? I would say buy a nice wedding card and bring your checkbook. Write numbers accordingly.

Normally $50-100 is appropriate for a wedding/reception.

MjC

[ryanbph]

to be honest with you, it is however much you want. At my wedding a couple years back I got gifts/checks for as low as $10 to as high as $1500. If you barely know her, give her what you feel alright with. It isn't like you hang out with them any ways so who gives a shit what they think

[danh920]

find your local mikasa outlet and buy a picture frame marked down from $60 to like $15, done.

[jaykrue]

Seriously, if it's not a close family friend or coworker, then you're really not obligated to go. And if you're just gonna hit & run anyway, it would be more pragmatic to spend your time doing something else. But if you feel you should go, $50-100 is the median (in terms of etiquette though you could get by w/ $10 & a card but you might as well have not gone if that's the case).

[fatherofcaitlyn]

When you see the woman again and she asks why you didn't go, inform you never got the invitation and apologize.

No present is the cheapest gift of all.

[wubb]

Alright, so I'm invited to this wedding on Saturday. It's for a girl I know; we're not like super-close or anything but we go to the same church.

I got the invitation like a few weeks before the wedding. There's nothing about a reception on it, and nothing about a gift registry.

So like, what are the norms for gift-giving in that scenario? The last couple of weddings I attended involved close friends, registries, and big receptions, so it was easier to figure things out. But in this case I'm kinda clueless as to what's expected of me!

It's really tacky to mention registries on the invite. Ask somebody in the wedding party where they are registered and then pick something at the price point you are looking to spend. (Assuming you go and buy something.) You could also ask them about the reception thing.

Or search for the couple on theknot.com or similar sites. That usually has links to the registry.

Maybe I'm too much of a cheap ass, but for an acquaintance + no reception I'd probably be looking in the $20 range. :shrug:

Also not having RSVPed just 2 days out is a bit of a flake out on her already. But she didn't get the invite to you all that early either. Meh. Could be you were on the 2nd list of invites. And if there really is no reception then I guess it's not as big of a deal as she's not trying to nail down a final head count for a caterer or anything.

[Chase]

If you are just casual acquaintances, will have to adjust your schedule to accommodate her wedding, and care what she thinks, I would claim to have not received the invitation. That way, the focus is shifted off of yourself. :-#

[benjamouth]

It's really tacky to mention registries on the invite. Ask somebody in the wedding party where they are registered and then pick something at the price point you are looking to spend. (Assuming you go and buy something.)


Really? It's pretty much the norm for weddings I've been invited to, I'd rather something helpful like that than "Oh we didn't want to mention the registry, but we do have one and it's up to you to find it."

Feck that noise.

[wubb]

Really? It's pretty much the norm for weddings I've been invited to, I'd rather something helpful like that than "Oh we didn't want to mention the registry, but we do have one and it's up to you to find it."

Feck that noise.

That's the standard noise in my experience. It's all a game of not asking for gifts but everyone knows they really are asking for gifts. :lol:

But yeah I've seen invites where registries are mentioned so I guess it's not a big thing anymore. I guess what I really meant to say is just because the invite doesn't mention a reg, doesn't mean they don't have one. Lots of people would never put that on the invite.

[dopa345]

Personally, I go by $50 minimum, $100+ if it's a good friend.

[BillyBob29]

Sounds like a perfect opportunity to make a donation to the Human Fund in her name.

[Chika]

For a close friend/family that is having a reception, $75/person (if you bring a date) is pretty standard. Receptions are fucking expensive, even for a cheap one it comes out to a lot.

For a not-so-close friend with an iffy reception, i'd say that $30-50 is appropriate. There are websites like giftcertificates.com and restaurants.com where you can get gift certificates at discounted prices. For example, at restaurants.com you can get a $25 gift certificate for $10, so you can get them a $50 gift certificate to a local restaurant for $20 and not look like a cheapass but really still be a cheapass.

[karkyco]

OP, don't you have some cheap shit you can re-gift? My wife has tons of useless crystal crap still unopened in the box, ready for re-gift usage. Or maybe pick the newlyweds up a couple clearance games at Circuit City/Target/Toys R Us? Use Goo-Gone to remove the price stickers!

[BustaUppa]

well I just noticed that the invitation has no RSVP information at all :-s
how odd!
well thanks for the input so far everybody!

[lordxixor101]

First off, without a registry, unless you know their tastes, just give cash. That is the easiest.

I would say you weigh out how well you know her by how much you can afford. I got married 3 years ago, and we had a nice handful of twenty something couples show up. We got more than a few that gave in the $20 range ($20-$30). We didn't think they were cheap or anything, and we were happier that they showed up (even with nothing) than to skip because they couldn't get a gift (heck, my best man really didn't give a gift, outside of picking up a tuxedo and showing up, and I was just happy he was there).

Plus, being one of the first non close weddings you are going to, you are setting a precident here. If you give her $100, you can't give $20 the next time.

So, not knowing your financial situation, I say dress up, look nice while your there, don't cause any additional headaches for the bride/groom, and give whatever.

[lordwow]

Just write her a check for $0.01, she'll get the clue.

[BustaUppa]

oh another weird thing, I just checked and it seems the invitation was postmarked on July 16th. So that's... two weeks notice for a wedding! With no RSVP info! Yeah I don't think anyone would fault me if I didn't show up haha... that's kinda what I'm leaning towards cuz I honestly just don't feel like going through all the hassle, especially when I can't even stay long.