So I watched the Fantastic Four movie...(now with image link)

[PsyClerk]

For those of you who don't know, the Fantastic Four got the movie treatment back in 1994. The movie was never released because of some sort of production rights issue. As I understand it, the people who made this movie made it so that any other studio that wanted to take a serious attempt at an FF movie would buy the options/rights etc to this piece of crap to keep it from being released first.

Anyways...it is difficult to describe how bad this movie is. I didn't watch the whole thing, I actually skipped large chunks, but I saw enough to know that no one should ever be subjected to this 'film.' Some of the lowlights:

-Johnny Storm, played horribly, discovers that he can activate/de-activate his powers by saying "flame on" and "flame off." He HAS to say these words to power up or down.

-Human Torch effect: obvious mannequin set on fire. Later, it's an obvious animation (think Tron era CGI).

-Reed Richards' sole power is the ability to stretch his arms. When he does this, his clothes also stretch. It doesn't matter if he's in a space suit, FF uniform, or hospital robe, his clothes stretch with the arm.

-Alicia Masters captued by bad guys. Alicia is blind. The bad guys catch her and knock her out with chloroform. In a dramatic shot, the camera shows Alicia's POV as she's knocked out by the chloroform, going fuzzy and fading to black. However, as stated before, Alicia is BLIND. Her POV would always be black.

-Dr. Doom portrayed as the stereotypical egomaniacal villian from 40's pulp. Nothing close to the character in the comic books.

-Human Torch outruns Dr. Doom's Death Ray (or whatever they called it). Yes, he outran light. And then got hit by it with no ill effects. And then stopped the light beam with a wall of flame.

-Reed Richards beats Dr Doom with three punches. Here's how it went.
Reed: This is for trying to kill me!
*stretches arm and punches Doom*
Reed: This is for trying to kill my friends!
*stretches arm and punches Doom*
Reed: And this...is for being a jerk!
*stretches arm and punches Doom over a wall, where Doom tumbles supposedly to his death*

-Dr Doom weaponry on his armor: two inch knives that come out of his fingertips.

-After being caught by Doom, Reed Richards cries. And is consoled by The Thing. Yeah, it's as scary and creepy as you imagine.

I thought I was getting in on something cool, but man...disappointment is not the word. Some movies are bad. Some are so bad that they're good. This movie goes beyond that and bounces back into the bad zone. Avoid!

edit: See stills (if you dare!) here (http://www.moviecompound.com/reviews/movies.php?ReviewID=16).

[Mr. Anderson]

Ouch.

[jboy]

I'm sure it was a masterpiece compared to the Captain America live action movie. Worst comic to film adaptation ever!

[abrannan]

Jboy, you're wrong. I've seen both Capt America and the F4 movie. Fantastic four is worse... by a LOT.

[PsyClerk]

Jboy, you're wrong. I've seen both Capt America and the F4 movie. Fantastic four is worse... by a LOT.

Seriously. I saw the Cap movie and FF blows it away in term of awfulness.

[RedvsBlue]

What about the original Punisher movie. Pretty craptastic as well.

[Ericnmel99]

Yeah i heard about this movie... i remember reading something about a studio paying for the movie just so they could lock it away so nobody would see how bad it was. Where did you get a copy from?

[Cornfedwb]

Fantastic Four is easily the worst movie I've ever seen... its actually below the point of "so bad its good"... its just utter trash. I doubt anyone could actually sit through the thing.

[Ericnmel99]

What about the original Punisher movie. Pretty craptastic as well.

Good old Dolph wasnt that bad.

[jboy]

Well damn, now I want to experience the horror myself! Sounds like a great movie to make fun of.

[PsyClerk]

Yeah i heard about this movie... i remember reading something about a studio paying for the movie just so they could lock it away so nobody would see how bad it was. Where did you get a copy from?

A friend of mine does a lot of trading of movies and TV episodes. He's a big comic book fan and used to run a side business in that one big comic book newspaper (can't recall the name of the damn thing). He gave me a copy in MPEG format.

BTW, to answer an earlier post, I thought the first Punisher was ok. It wasn't 100% faithful to the comic book, but it at least managed to be an average action flick. If you saw both movies, you'd know FF was worse. Even if Dolph Lundgren had personally spit on your ailing grandmother, you'd have to say Punisher looks ok compared to FF.

[maxflight]

indeed, you all making me want to check out that F4 flick with my gf.

[tcrash247]

My dad bought a boot of this when it came out. I didn't think it was THAT bad. I thought Capt. America was worse. Didn't Human Torch have to say flame on in the comics and cartoons though? I didn't really mind it altogether. I sat through the whole thing.

[ngxbox2004]

Nice.

[coolsteel]

How did the Thing look?

[CapAmerica]

The Fantastic Four movie was good up to the point where they got their powers. That it just went down the shitter. also Its like they blew their whole budget on making the Thing customer which was pretty cool looking.

Fantastic Four was far worst then Captain America. Which I actually do like. I don't see why people hate the Captain America movie so much. sure its no Batman '89, but its still a pretty good Superhero movie for its time. I would have found a better way to handle his mask in the movie but that's really about all I would have changed. I really liked how they showed him dealing with how everything changed. and coming to terms with the fact that he is 40+ years in the future.

[thegamer4787]

Man, the fantastic four just get the screw job, I heard the game is pretty awful (I think it was released on ps1), although the movie was probably much worse.

[crickett003]

What about the original Punisher movie. Pretty craptastic as well.

I thought the original PUNISHER was respectable. I got the uncut Japanese version. More violence, more fun :) Dolph Lundgren was alright. Don't know about the poetry spouting bum, though :?

[epobirs]

No, of the the 90's Marvel movies FF is by far the worst. The other two movies at least had attainable goals since they weren't overly depndent on pushing the envelope on special effects. The current FF movie in pre-production still has a big challenge in that respect.
http://imdb.com/title/tt0120667/

Although I rather enjoyed much of 'The Hulk' for its FX work it was widely criticized on that front. For an FF movie the problem is multiplied by four, so to speak. Although it isn't too difficult in the case of the Invisible Girl but they do need to occasionally do something where the audience can see her just to be in on the gag, so they have to have some version of the tradition comics depiction. The real special effect is for Jessica Alba to carry off a non-disastrous leading role.

OTOH, Michael Chiklis as the Thing could be great.

One thing to remember about the old FF movie, it was made incredibly cheaply just to collect a pay-off to never promote ot. The rights were going to expire soon and it was understood that a decent FF movie simply couldn't be done in 1994 but especially not for the meager funds available to this bunch. So the best way to cash in when it became known that some fairly big names were interested in the property was to produce something that those people would gladly toss a big check at having suppressed.

This was a brilliant stroke from Roger Corman. A man whose career is best by the showing of the 'The Undead' on Mystery Science Theater 3000. The movie has barely started but the words 'A Roger Corman Production' appear and Crow immediately declares, "That's it, we're dead."

[Gothic Walrus]

No, of the the 90's Marvel movies FF is by far the worst. The other two movies at least had attainable goals since they weren't overly depndent on pushing the envelope on special effects. The current FF movie in pre-production still has a big challenge in that respect.
http://imdb.com/title/tt0120667/

Although I rather enjoyed much of 'The Hulk' for its FX work it was widely criticized on that front. For an FF movie the problem is multiplied by four, so to speak. Although it isn't too difficult in the case of the Invisible Girl but they do need to occasionally do something where the audience can see her just to be in on the gag, so they have to have some version of the tradition comics depiction. The real special effect is for Jessica Alba to carry off a non-disastrous leading role.

OTOH, Michael Chiklis as the Thing could be great.

Maybe it's just me, but I'm willing to give the new movie a chance. The Hulk and Daredevil movies weren't that great...but look at what we got with Spider-Man and X2. The FF movie has the potential to go either way, and only time will tell how it will work out.

And Chiklis should make a kick-ass Thing, even if his role ends up being mostly voicework. :D

[epobirs]

No, of the the 90's Marvel movies FF is by far the worst. The other two movies at least had attainable goals since they weren't overly depndent on pushing the envelope on special effects. The current FF movie in pre-production still has a big challenge in that respect.
http://imdb.com/title/tt0120667/

Although I rather enjoyed much of 'The Hulk' for its FX work it was widely criticized on that front. For an FF movie the problem is multiplied by four, so to speak. Although it isn't too difficult in the case of the Invisible Girl but they do need to occasionally do something where the audience can see her just to be in on the gag, so they have to have some version of the tradition comics depiction. The real special effect is for Jessica Alba to carry off a non-disastrous leading role.

OTOH, Michael Chiklis as the Thing could be great.

Maybe it's just me, but I'm willing to give the new movie a chance. The Hulk and Daredevil movies weren't that great...but look at what we got with Spider-Man and X2. The FF movie has the potential to go either way, and only time will tell how it will work out.

And Chiklis should make a kick-ass Thing, even if his role ends up being mostly voicework. :D

The trick is to get a director and crew who gets it and really understands what is great in the property. There just isn't enough Raimi and Del Toro to go around.

I think Chiklis would offer much more than voice. The Thing would likely be heavily motion captured like Gollum in the Lord of the Rings movies. This gives an actor a chance to go wild regardless of his actual physical appearance. From what I've seen in interviews Chiklis knows the character and is psyched for the role almost as much as he was for doing Jerome 'Curly' Howard, at which he was excellent.

[PsyClerk]

How did the Thing look?

Moist. He looked like he was always a bit damp. I just imagined his rocky exterior to be a bit....drier I guess. But the Thing effects are the only decent part of the movie.

edit: Finally found a site (http://www.moviecompound.com/reviews/movies.php?ReviewID=16) with images.

[sblymnlcrymnl]

No, of the the 90's Marvel movies FF is by far the worst. The other two movies at least had attainable goals since they weren't overly depndent on pushing the envelope on special effects. The current FF movie in pre-production still has a big challenge in that respect.
http://imdb.com/title/tt0120667/

Although I rather enjoyed much of 'The Hulk' for its FX work it was widely criticized on that front. For an FF movie the problem is multiplied by four, so to speak. Although it isn't too difficult in the case of the Invisible Girl but they do need to occasionally do something where the audience can see her just to be in on the gag, so they have to have some version of the tradition comics depiction. The real special effect is for Jessica Alba to carry off a non-disastrous leading role.

OTOH, Michael Chiklis as the Thing could be great.

Maybe it's just me, but I'm willing to give the new movie a chance. The Hulk and Daredevil movies weren't that great...but look at what we got with Spider-Man and X2. The FF movie has the potential to go either way, and only time will tell how it will work out.

And Chiklis should make a kick-ass Thing, even if his role ends up being mostly voicework. :D

Chiklis is the fucking man.

[Wshakspear]

1. FF
2. Cap America
3. Flash
4. Catwoman
5. Nick Fury

Nick fury is a bit better than catwoman, because you can actually laugh at it...Catwoman wasnt even "so bad, its funny", it was just bad.

[PsyClerk]

They made a Flash movie?

[cag1000]

i've been wanting this on dvd
just because im a completist
passed it up multiple times at comic shows
where did u get it???
what did u pay for it??
i would prob pay 5-7$ on DVD

[PsyClerk]

I paid zero because a friend gave it to me. It looks like a bootleg/crappy rip. I checked and it's actually two AVI files. Not worth $1.

[cag1000]

Jessica Alba is going to be invisible woman
shes so fucking hot makes me cry like a bitch
just delicious
perfect choice invisible woman is the hooker of the marvel universe what a whore, and alba can act like such a fucking tease

[cag1000]

you know whats funny
recently the movie poster for this movie was voted as one of the best comic movie posters made.
and i tend to agree
the poster for FF back then was top notch, incredible job
im lazy but someone can easily find it and post it
most will be amazed how good the poster is and how bad the movie is

[Nirvanaguy777]

i saw that old FF movie as well, god was it bad, i need a cold shower

[epobirs]

They made a Flash movie?

There was a TV series. That may be what they're referencing. Which I disagree with since that series was pretty damn good. They had serious comics people like Howard Chaykin running the show and constantly threw in cool in jokes for the fans.

THe character was Barry Allen but with a lot of the limitations imposed on the Wally West Flash in that era. This made for Flash commandeering food a lot. After some mega-calorie burning action the scene would cut to some banquet with a massive turkey on a fancy platter. Whoosh! Turkey disappears, then cut to Flash finishing off a drumstick.

There was a certain amount of tongue in cheekness to it but I thought it was easily one of ten best adaptions of a major superhero character to live action format.

[epobirs]

1. FF
2. Cap America
3. Flash
4. Catwoman
5. Nick Fury

Nick fury is a bit better than catwoman, because you can actually laugh at it...Catwoman wasnt even "so bad, its funny", it was just bad.

The closest thing to a real Nick Fury was in 'True Lies.' The Charlton Heston character was an obvious homage by Cameron.

[PsyClerk]

There was a TV series. That may be what they're referencing. Which I disagree with since that series was pretty damn good. They had serious comics people like Howard Chaykin running the show and constantly threw in cool in jokes for the fans.

This where I was confused, as I thought the Flash TV show was pretty good. I can't recall the network it was on, but they killed it by moving it around constantly. I think they finally stuck it in the Friday 10PM time slot, aka the death knell.

The guy who gave me the FF movie has a bunch of stuff signed by the guy that played the Flash in that series and was (obviously) a huge fan of the show.

[ykryptonite13]

idk if its been asked yet, but how did u guys see this movie? is it on dvd?
sounds like shit tho.

[ykryptonite13]

This where I was confused, as I thought the Flash TV show was pretty good. I can't recall the network it was on, but they killed it by moving it around constantly. I think they finally stuck it in the Friday 10PM time slot, aka the death knell.

The Flash TV series was on CBS. I know Mark Hamill played a villain in it too - I think he was the Trickster.

[PsyClerk]

You can supposedly buy it on DVD on eBay. However, as I said before, I got it on a plain CD in AVI format, broken into two parts. It's low quality, and by that I mean it's low resolution and poor image quality. Calling the actual movie low quality is an insult to low quality movies everywhere.

[epobirs]

This where I was confused, as I thought the Flash TV show was pretty good. I can't recall the network it was on, but they killed it by moving it around constantly. I think they finally stuck it in the Friday 10PM time slot, aka the death knell.

The Flash TV series was on CBS. I know Mark Hamill played a villain in it too - I think he was the Trickster.

Yep, it also had a character played by a favorite of mine, genre actress Claire Stansfield. http://imdb.com/name/nm0822694/
She could have been great in some action roles if she'd had a better agent in her youth.

[Xevious]

Whats worse? Captain America, Fantastic Four or Catwoman?

I've only seen Captain America which was bad but not the worst movie I have ever seen.

[PsyClerk]

I see she was in Steel. She was the wheelchair bound girl that helped Shaq?

I also see that she was in Red Shoe Diaries, so I can see her naked as well, I imagine.

[daikaiju]

FF was never officially released and the only way to aquire it is on a bootleg of some form. I've personally never seen it, but heard all the stories on how bad it is. Didn't Roger Corman direct it? Gotta love Roger Corman.

[epobirs]

I see she was in Steel. She was the wheelchair bound girl that helped Shaq?

I also see that she was in Red Shoe Diaries, so I can see her naked as well, I imagine.

No, I think she's one of the bad guys in Steel. She's 6'1" so she can be really menacing, although every impression I've gotten of her in real life is very nice. Her height also makes her pretty spectacular in the several roles where she's revealed all. The best is probably Sensation, since this feature both her and gratuitous nudity champion Kari Wuhrer. (I've always thought there should be an Oscar category for gratuitous nudity. For instance, Jamie Lee curtis would have won handily for Trading Places that year.

The dubious honor of female lead in 'Steel' goes to Annabeth Gish.
http://imdb.com/name/nm0001272/

I have a connection to Steel. A friend of mine was involved in creating the Hugo Award trophies for that year. This is the design that was slipped into a Babylon 5 episode, BTW. Part of the trophy was a base designed to look like a lunar landscape as painted by Chesney Bonestell, who did the mattes and posters for several classic SF movies. http://imdb.com/name/nm0094307/

We had to make about 40 of these things. We did this at a Los Angeles prop house called Proper Effects run by some folks who were happy to contribute to the effort. Waiting around for each set of molds to solidify and start a new set took the better part of a day, so while we were waiting around we were pressganged into helping out on some projects. One of these was a number of hammers to be gimmicked for Steel. There was a master mold we filled with this goop that half of Hollywood is made from. You add the catalyst and it soon hardens in the final shape. While this happening you have to rotate the mold to make sure the stuff is distributed throughout. So we spent a few hours rotating hammer molds.

They were also supplying props for the Start Trek: Deep Space 9 episode that was a 30th Anniversary homage to the Tribbles episode. They need all sorts of props to match the stuff from the original series since it had all long since been destroyed or stolen. So we also spent a lot of time that day painting phasers and tricorders.

[epobirs]

FF was never officially released and the only way to aquire it is on a bootleg of some form. I've personally never seen it, but heard all the stories on how bad it is. Didn't Roger Corman direct it? Gotta love Roger Corman.

Corman was Executive Producer. He hasn't really directed much since the early 70's but has been behind a huge number of releases since then. Part of his legend is the huge number of talents both in front of and behind the camera who got their first real film jobs from Corman. His book,'How I Made a Hundred Movies in hollywood and Never Lost a Dime,' is a great read.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0306808749/qid=1094168678/sr=ka-1/ref=pd_ka_1/102-6245537-3256901

[PsyClerk]

The best is probably Sensation, since this feature both her and gratuitous nudity champion Kari Wuhrer.

Mmmmm...Kari Wuhrer.

[MrMaddness]

It's so bad...I had to own it. So I do...on DVD.