Learn Chinese in under 5 minutes!

[Forest Mercenary]

Now I originally got this from someone on GameFaqs, who got it from DarkShadowRage, all credit goes to him. For me, this was probably the funniest thing I've read in a couple months, possibly a year; it was like watching 3-South for the first time.

The rest of this is copies and pasted:

directions: read these outloud


(English Phrase) I think you need a facelift

(Chinese Phrase) Chin Tu Fat



(English Phrase) Are you hiding a fugitive?

(Chinese Phrase) Hu Yu Hai Ding?



See me A.S.A.P.

Kum Hia Nao



Stupid Man

Dum Gai



Small Horse

Tai Ni Po Ni



Did you go to the beach?

Wai Yu So Tan?



I bumped into a coffee table

Ai Bang Mai Ni



It's very dark in here

Wai So Dim



This is a tow away zone

No Pah King



You are not very bright

Yu So Dum



I got this for free

Ai No Pei



I am not guilty!

Wai Hang Mi?



Please stay a while longer

Wai Go Nao?



They have arrived

Hai Dei Kum.




Stay out of sight

Lei Lo



He's cleaning his automobile

Wa Sing Ka.



Your body odor is offensive

Yu Stin Ki



I thought you were on a diet?

Wai Yu Mun Ching?

[xspeedracerx]

Nice, very funny.

[el bobo]

Lol, all of those are very essential phrases.

[Dok Diamond]

thats pretty funny, ai no pei

[ww3676]

LOL... funny stuff!

[biggestinuyashafan]

lol,that was great. i haven't seen anything that funny in a few days.

[Forest Mercenary]

lol,that was great. i haven't seen anything that funny in a few days.

:( Care to inform what was funnier/as funny?

[Trakan]

That was pretty shaq-fuing funny.

[Xevious]

that was mildly amusing.

[x0thedeadzone0x]

I've heard them before, but they're pretty funny.

[Graystone]

that was mildly amusing.

thats the words I was looking for.

[Nirvanaguy777]

pretty funny

[SteveMcQ]

Amusing...nice find.

[Missingdata]

... that doesn't sound like chinese...

[Cracka]

^lmao ...

[AlbinoNinja]

funny. I actually thought it was this

http://www.funnyjunk.com/p/chinese-jpg.html

till i looked at it

[Magician]

Nice... Very cool.

[Salogy]

Umm..nice and only slightly offensive.

Let's try:
Speaker 1:Ne de mama shi ne de (fill in the blank).

Speaker 2:Ne shou sheme?

Speaker 1:(denfensive ramble about how his mother isn't the [fill in the blank])

[redgopher]

Ai No Pei full price for Fable thanks to the Outpost.com deal.

[coolcps]

that was mildly amusing.

thats the words I was looking for.

I would tend to agree, except bump it down on the amusing scale a few points.

[Zenithian Legend]

Wo jao Mister Ed shemue?

[evilpenguin9000]

Meh.

[dude2003]

i dont find it funny and kind of offended

[Forest Mercenary]

May I ask how you could possibly find it "offensive?"

If you're offended by that because you're Chinese or something, then really, how are you surviving in the real world?!

[dude2003]

May I ask how you could possibly find it "offensive?"

If you're offended by that because you're Chinese or something, then really, how are you surviving in the real world?!

yes i am chinese and i find it offensive to me because i considered this racist by making fun of how chinese have heavy accent. i personally dont have an accent because i grew up here but my parents and other relatives do so by saying all these so called jokes, in a very indirect way you are making fun of how chinese speak their english. would you be offended if someone made fun of your race/gender/religion? you asked me how i survive in the real world well i would just dont care for people who make fun of others just because they dont speak correctly. notice i didn't say anyone in particular, here or anywhere because i know you got it off of the internet. i've seen this somewhere and i am not about to start anything at all. i'm just expressing my feelings towards these kind of "jokes"

edit: i also find it offensive because it is using words that are translation from chinese characters to english. someone else in an earlier post has already find it offensive

[ZeroSupporT]

^^ Wah!

[Salogy]

edit: i also find it offensive because it is using words that are translation from chinese characters to english. someone else in an earlier post has already find it offensive

I also find it offensive at some levels. I'm not Chinese but Taiwanese. I grew up here but my parents did not.

I can tell someone who mildly knows the language wrote most of the phrases too. That's just based on my knowledge on the language and english. I know I'm never going to use those phrases in public because there are plenty of people around me who would be offended.

[Dare]

good stuff man, very funny