Things you'd buy if they sold them

[Grave_Addiction]

I had a great idea that came along in one of my drunken ramblings one night. It popped into my head out of nowhere and after I said it, my friends looked at me and were pretty impressed with my invention.

It would be a car cover that had inflatable sacks or bubbles inside it and you could air it up so it would provide protection for your car from hail and other hazardous elements. I checked in to possibly patenting the idea, but someone got to it before me and they are now going to be mass producing these babies.

It's a shame, too, because that was my chance at making my fortune.

I also have another idea that would be pretty cool. A dream recorder. You would record all your dreams and when you woke up, you could watch them on tv. I have no idea how to actually do this, of course, but it would be damn cool.

Anyway, what are some of the things you'd guys buy if stores sold them?

[MightySlacker]

A machine that punches people over the telephone.

Dave Olson

[Reality's Fringe]

A bionic penis.

[Gameboy415]

I swear I bring this up waaaay more often than I should in casual conversations, but I want a gun that shoots knives.

OR

A gun that shoots tiny guns so not only do you get hit by a tiny bullet, but you get pistol whipped by a tiny gun too. :lol:

PS: I'm not insane, I just think it'd be funny.

[Trakan]

I think the dream thing would be impossible. I like the car idea though.

[Grave_Addiction]

a gun that shoots knives.

Now that is some funny shit! Hahahaha!

[epobirs]

I swear I bring this up waaaay more often than I should in casual conversations, but I want a gun that shoots knives.

OR

A gun that shoots tiny guns so not only do you get hit by a tiny bullet, but you get pistol whipped by a tiny gun too. :lol:

PS: I'm not insane, I just think it'd be funny.

Is that a variant on the attack dogs that spit stinging bees?

[SneakyPenguin]

a gun that shoots knives.

Now that is some funny shit! Hahahaha!

Those were actally the first guns, made in ancient China. They didn't have bullets, so all gns shot small blades.

[Grave_Addiction]

a gun that shoots knives.

Now that is some funny shit! Hahahaha!

Those were actally the first guns, made in ancient China. They didn't have bullets, so all gns shot small blades.

Yeah, but I'm picturing a rifle shooting butter knives and regular kitchen knives. Just the picture of it is cracking me up.

[dcfox]

The dream thing can be possible if someone found a way to translate the electrical impulses in the brain into actual images, but that kind of science is still way off. My ideal product would be a machine that could transmit and store information directly into your brain, so you could learn things in a matter of seconds. Much like they did in the Matrix. Either that or something that could produce tangible holographs.

[SneakyPenguin]

a gun that shoots knives.

Now that is some funny shit! Hahahaha!

Those were actally the first guns, made in ancient China. They didn't have bullets, so all gns shot small blades.

Yeah, but I'm picturing a rifle shooting butter knives and regular kitchen knives. Just the picture of it is cracking me up.

:rofl:

Oay, you got me there. Speaking of butter and gus, how about a butter bazooka?

[Gothic Walrus]

Personally, I'd love a time machine or a cloning device. Or both combined - go back five years, AND you're now a triplet! What could be better?

[daphatty]

Sega Saturn Games. The good ones at retail prices not Inflated Ebay prices.

[Grave_Addiction]

Personally, I'd love a time machine or a cloning device. Or both combined - go back five years, AND you're now a triplet! What could be better?

If I had a clone, I'd make him go to work for me while I sat around watch football and got drunk aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllll day long.

[Medium_Pimpin]

If they sold them, i would buy a message baord where people posted brilliant ideas that werent already used, so that i could profit off of them.

[epobirs]

So, something like these?

http://www.funtimeinflatables.com/P/Accessories/carcapsule.htm

I've had a lot of ideas I thought were winners only to discover they'd already been unsuccessfully marketed and were thus obscure to me. Some other ideas I never pursued while the potential was good and the market eventually vanished or someone else had the same idea and made it a real product.

So, you have to search around but you also have to have the drive to make it happen if the opportunity is there.

One thing I always wanted whenever I'd be pressganged into loading up a water cooler with the maximum size bottles was a way of loading the new bottle without removing the cap. When the bottle was in place you would then use some mechanism to open the cap and let the water flow without getting much of it on the floor. My idea was a blunt spike that would be sufficient to puncture the cap without being capable of injuring an idiot who stuck his hand inside the cooler without a bottle present. The spike would be driven by a foot pedal so that even a small adult could bring enough pressure to bear on the cap.

[DesertEagleXIX]

"but I want a gun that shoots knives."

I was watching this video of an art group that back in the lte 80's made these radio controlled robots that fight. I could of sworn one shot knives.

One of the best things on the video is a robot that shoots shockwaves- enough to break glass; at an dutch audience. Watching them cover their ears and freak out is worth the price of the DVD alone.

[Grave_Addiction]

So, something like these?

http://www.funtimeinflatables.com/P/Accessories/carcapsule.htm


Not really. Think of a regular car cover, but with small inflatable bubbles, that when inflated, would only rise an inch or two up.

[guessed]

Personally, I'd love a time machine or a cloning device. Or both combined - go back five years, AND you're now a triplet! What could be better?

If I had a clone, I'd make him go to work for me while I sat around watch football and got drunk aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllll day long.

How do you know he wouldn't make you go to work for him while he sat around watching football and getting drunk all day long? Think about it.

[Grave_Addiction]

Personally, I'd love a time machine or a cloning device. Or both combined - go back five years, AND you're now a triplet! What could be better?

If I had a clone, I'd make him go to work for me while I sat around watch football and got drunk aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllll day long.

How do you know he wouldn't make you go to work for him while he sat around watching football and getting drunk all day long? Think about it.

Well, that's a good point. I guess I'd make him weaker than me so I could kick his ass if he ever tried to leave me.

[Graystone]

Big booty strippers.

[Zenithian Legend]

a talking horse

[guessed]

a talking horse

A horse is a horse,
of course, of course,
and no one can talk to a horse,
of course.

That is of course,
unless the horse,
is the famous Mr. Ed.

[AlbinoNinja]

Personally, I'd love a time machine or a cloning device. Or both combined - go back five years, AND you're now a triplet! What could be better?

If I had a clone, I'd make him go to work for me while I sat around watch football and got drunk aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllll day long.

How do you know he wouldn't make you go to work for him while he sat around watching football and getting drunk all day long? Think about it.

Well, that's a good point. I guess I'd make him weaker than me so I could kick his ass if he ever tried to leave me.

Theyve got something like that: its called a mom. The only difference is clones dont look a lot like you and they're called little brothers.

[GuilewasNK]

*let's see if anyone gets this reference*

An anti-matter eliminator. It...allows me...to fluctuate.....

For real though, a jet pack would be cool. Or Flubber. A strength enhancing exo-skeleton (there are actual military prototypes now).

I think eveyone want's binocular X-ray specs. So they can detect broken bones at a distance...Yeah, that's it...

[epobirs]

Personally, I'd love a time machine or a cloning device. Or both combined - go back five years, AND you're now a triplet! What could be better?

If I had a clone, I'd make him go to work for me while I sat around watch football and got drunk aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllll day long.

How do you know he wouldn't make you go to work for him while he sat around watching football and getting drunk all day long? Think about it.

Well, that's a good point. I guess I'd make him weaker than me so I could kick his ass if he ever tried to leave me.

Bad idea. If you make him your bitch it just gives him the upper hand in the inevitable palimony suit.

[Xevious]

How about a keyboard that has a button that shoots a signal through the internet and sends an electric shock to people who spam me.

Lord knows I can have a field day in CAG for all those idiots that post gmail or ipod scams here.

[guessed]

*let's see if anyone gets this reference*

An anti-matter eliminator. It...allows me...to fluctuate.....


Sorry, no. I've never seen ATHF.

[epobirs]

A strength enhancing exo-skeleton (there are actual military prototypes now).



Yeah but you have to be a Spartan to use it without injuring yourself.

[Wet Ninja]

I'd like some sort of device to discourage drivers behind from tailgating too closely. A caltrop dispenser on the back of my car would be nice, or, more mildly, a nozzle that sprays water (or paint, if I'm feeling cruel) onto the windshield of the car behind me.

[ZeroSupporT]

Cheap Ass "massage" tickets at strip clubs

[Backlash]

Personally, I'd love a time machine or a cloning device. Or both combined - go back five years, AND you're now a triplet! What could be better?

If I had a clone, I'd make him go to work for me while I sat around watch football and got drunk aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllll day long.

Don't do it! Haven't you ever seen Multiplicity?!

[Backlash]

One of my friends actually just invented and started selling an AWESOME item for sports fans, especially college students.

http://www.papabert.com/

It's a stadium seat that secretly holds 750mL of liquid (ie bourbon for your cokes, or whatever the hell northerners do at games). College football season!

[guessed]

One of my friends actually just invented and started selling an AWESOME item for sports fans, especially college students.

http://www.papabert.com/

It's a stadium seat that secretly holds 750mL of liquid (ie bourbon for your cokes, or whatever the hell northerners do at games). College football season!

Assuming your friend got a patent, he is going to be rich.

Edit: I see now, patent pending.

[Nirvanaguy777]

a whore w/o any STDS

[vrs1650]

Dude that Papabert is sweet. What I wouldn't have done for something like that in college. Fucking security guards making me throw out my booze.

[GuilewasNK]

A gold-trimmed ass scratcher....

[DigitalSpace]

A time machine.

[Kaijufan]

A proton pack, ghost trap, and a PKE Meter.
And a life sized, working MechaGodzilla. All would fear me.

[GuilewasNK]

Personal Cloaking Device, Laser Ring

[crazytalkx]

A time machine.

HELL YEAH!!!! That is probably the most useful thing listed here. But I would love it if I can get a giant robot! (GUNDAM LAUNCH!!!! AHHH!!!!!!!!)

[TomCloud9]

A mute button for wifes.

[daria19]

A car which can also be used as a boat. Useful for when roads are flooded. These really exist, but they are WAY out of my price range.

[Grave_Addiction]

A mute button for wifes.

You have no idea how useful that would be.

[rajchakrabarti]

its the freakin year 2004 and we don't have flying cars yet... whats the deal ???

[guessed]

A car which can also be used as a boat. Useful for when roads are flooded. These really exist, but they are WAY out of my price range.

Yep: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5207684/

[Kaijufan]

its the freakin year 2004 and we don't have flying cars yet... whats the deal ???
Was it 2015 they went to in Back to the Future Part 2? We might have to wait until then.

[Trakan]

A boat/car/plane all in one would be really useful. I would get one if I could afford it.

[Grave_Addiction]

its the freakin year 2004 and we don't have flying cars yet... whats the deal ???

Welcome to the future!

http://www.cybersciences.com/cyber/4.0/2000/10/gif/SkyCar.jpg

http://old.hartfordadvocate.com/articles/images/skycar3.gif

Moller has developed, built, and flown a two passenger prototype model of a volantor called the M200X. The volantor is a new type of aircraft that combines the performance of airplanes and the VTOL capability of helicopters in a single vehicle without the limitations of either.

Using a principle similar to that of the British Harrier jump jet, the Moller Skycar volantor incorporates a patented thrust deflection vane system that redirects thrust, enabling it to hover or to takeoff and land vertically from almost any surface. This capability plus the added safety of ducted fans makes it ideal for a wide variety of commercial and military applications. These include private and charter air travel, express delivery, news gathering, border patrol, police and fire work, and search and rescue, to name just a few.

-----------------

As a result of the recent successful hovering flights of the M400 Skycar, Moller International is accepting deposits to secure delivery positions for our M400 Skycar until after the Skycar has flown from hover to full aerodynamic flight and returned (transitioning flight). A limited number of delivery positions are available.

[sying]

Rick James Beatch!

[pimp tyranny]

i wish i was invincible

[epobirs]

its the freakin year 2004 and we don't have flying cars yet... whats the deal ???

Blame it on Dante:
http://www.muchosucko.com/link4400.html

[WAJedi]

Rick James Beatch!

Now, to rip a quote from Maddox.....YOU'RE NOT DAVE CHAPPELLE AND YOU'RE NOT FUNNY.

[epobirs]

The problem with flying cars, essentially near universal civilian aircraft use, is not a simple one. Viable vehicle are only the beginning.
http://www.futurepundit.com/archives/cat_airplanes_and_spacecraft.html

[coolcps]

This goes more with the invention thing. When I was younger I always wanted to be an inventor type person, and my dad helped me put my ideas on paper. My best invention was the Army Hangglider. I remember I had it all drawn out with everything labelled. It had miniguns, torpedos, an nuclear bomb among many other great things, AND IT WAS A HANGLIDER! Try and tell me that is not the most baddest ass invention ever. I think my dad even took it to a patent office as a joke.

[sying]

Rick James Beatch!

Now, to rip a quote from Maddox.....YOU'RE NOT DAVE CHAPPELLE AND YOU'RE NOT FUNNY.

The thread was what you would want if they sold it, not critique what people want if they sold it.

In fact I want to change what I want if it was sold. I want you to STFU, WAJedi.

[alongx]

But I would love it if I can get a giant robot! (GUNDAM LAUNCH!!!! AHHH!!!!!!!!)

Yeah, I'd want to build a Gundam. If not for any other reason, but so I could hear people scream, "Oh my God, it's a Gundam!" like they did all the time in Gundam Wing. You know, before I crush them.

[sblymnlcrymnl]

A talking horse.

[Zenithian Legend]

Well it's settled I'm putting myself up for auction on ebay

[GuilewasNK]

I'd like to buy the meteors that Meteor Man had in the movie. That would kick a little ass.

[Graystone]

a gamecube with normal size cds

[GunCowboy]

Robot Hookers, then I could be a human that pimps robots for money.

[sblymnlcrymnl]

Robot Hookers, then I could be a human that pimps robots for money.

HookerBot 5000 has a CPU of solid gold.

[Ledhed]

HookerBot 5000 has a CPU of solid gold.

So does Prosti-Tron.

/marks Prosti-Tron off list of words to be used in conversation

[Grave_Addiction]

Robot Hookers, then I could be a human that pimps robots for money.

Ahhh, you might be interested in watching Cherry 2000 then.

Plot: When Sam Treadwell breaks his Cherry 2000, a robot wife/sex toy, he hires E Johnson, to guide him across a dangerous apocalyptic wasteland to an abandoned manufacturing plant where he hopes to find a duplicate model Cherry 2000 to replace it with.

http://www.laserdisken.dk/billeder/forsidealm/50427.jpg

[jdevlin7756]

This is one of the funniest threads I've read here.

An item I would seriously purchase is a car with doors that could lock in an open position. I'm 6'8" which makes getting out of my car a pain, meaning I can't hold onto the door during the entire exit maneuver. Any time it's windy my car doors are always trying to swing out and smash the car I'm parked next to.

[GuilewasNK]

For all the talk of robot hookers, they are closer to that that you could think (Realdolls as mentioned by Howard Stern).

[snotknocker]

Half gallon containers of Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream

[The Successful Dropout]

boatloads of hot virgins

[Grave_Addiction]

Half gallon containers of Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream

Hahaha! I have no idea why they don't do that, though. Very good idea!

[Backlash]

Poop!


Ball Hair!




Edit: Sorry, sometimes I have Internet Turret's syndrome.

[WAJedi]

Half gallon containers of Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream

Hahaha! I have no idea why they don't do that, though. Very good idea!

Because they would cost about $20.00 :evil:

[Grave_Addiction]

Half gallon containers of Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream

Hahaha! I have no idea why they don't do that, though. Very good idea!

Because they would cost about $20.00 :evil:

The said thing is most people would still pay $20 for a half gallon of ice cream.

[erehwon]

A mute button for wifes.

You have no idea how useful that would be.

While you're at it, you should throw in the pause and reverse buttons.

[Ebraum]

Bubble wrap that was filled with farts instead of air.
( I hate when people pop these at work )

[Grave_Addiction]

How about talking dogs or cats? How fuggin' cool would that be?

It would be cool as hell to take your dog for a walk and have a nice conversation with him. He'd truly be man's best friend after that.

Oh, also if you spliced guppies with sea creatures and made yourself a mini-ocean in a 50 gallon tank.

Think about it, you'd have mini dolphins, whales, sharks, seals ... everything! Nothing except talking dogs would be cooler than your own ocean.

[epobirs]

A mute button for wifes.

You have no idea how useful that would be.

While you're at it, you should throw in the pause and reverse buttons.

And libido & kinkiness controls while you're at it.

http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/r/remote_controls_wife.asp

http://www.sillyjokes.co.uk/p-jokes/gadget/girlfriend-remote.html

[batman2million]

a machine to fix women..


made a new friend in class..pretty cute
one day she talkin to me like we buddies...
next day...acts like she never knew me..

bitch..

[epobirs]

Half gallon containers of Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream

Hahaha! I have no idea why they don't do that, though. Very good idea!

Because they would cost about $20.00 :evil:

And draw too much attention from the health nazis.

[crazytalkx]

a machine to fix women..


made a new friend in class..pretty cute
one day she talkin to me like we buddies...
next day...acts like she never knew me..

bitch..

She needs a good back-handin'. Ooh a BRAINWASHING MACHINE!!!!

wait......thats tv......

[Tromack]

A machine that punches people over the telephone.

Dave Olson

In a similar vein and to steal an idea from Aqua Teen, phone spiders. Those things would be so handy. Someone annoying you on the phone, just release some phone spiders, and *BAM* their flesh is being eaten by spiders.

[MrBadExample]

How about talking dogs or cats? How fuggin' cool would that be?

It would be cool as hell to take your dog for a walk and have a nice conversation with him. He'd truly be man's best friend after that.


"Hi! You're home!!! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! You gonna eat all that? Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! My ass itches! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball!"

[Othergods]

A mute button for wifes.

You have no idea how useful that would be.

Oh, I have one of these, it is called my Pimp Hand!

*Othergods Runs like a little girl from his wife when she reads this*

[Othergods]

How about talking dogs or cats? How fuggin' cool would that be?

It would be cool as hell to take your dog for a walk and have a nice conversation with him. He'd truly be man's best friend after that.


"Hi! You're home!!! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! You gonna eat all that? Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! My ass itches! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball!"

Now that is the funniest thing I have read in a few days...

[Grave_Addiction]

How about talking dogs or cats? How fuggin' cool would that be?

It would be cool as hell to take your dog for a walk and have a nice conversation with him. He'd truly be man's best friend after that.


"Hi! You're home!!! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! You gonna eat all that? Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! My ass itches! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Throw the ball!"

Hahahaha, good point. But I was thinking more along the lines as this.

"Damn Chris, did you just see the ass on that poodle? I'd like to sniff that shit."

[Quackzilla]

I think the dream thing would be impossible.

It's done. No actual video, but you can record dreams.

How do you think it was discovered that humans dream several times per night?

[GuilewasNK]

I know what I'd really want, eyes like Geordi LaForge in Star Trek: First Contact. Eyes that can see better than normal and zoom in to things in a distance. If you could add camera capabilities you could be the ultimate spy.

[ElfAngel7]

I can one up that. Get me some Sharingan Contacts :-D Sasuke may be a bitch-ass, but Itachi and Kakashi regain the awesomness of the Sharingan

[Forest Mercenary]

a machine to fix women..


made a new friend in class..pretty cute
one day she talkin to me like we buddies...
next day...acts like she never knew me..

bitch..

Well, that's because you're clearly not cool enough for her, and she's too scared to break from the conformity. Yea I hate girls that are like that; but they are generally also really stupid (literally) so don't feel too bad. In fact, I don't know why I'm talking to you, I'm clearly too cool for you too. :roll:

JK.

I'm "high" eough on the social ladder that I could get girls like that, and am acquaintances with a lot of them, but choose not to, because they're usually very bad people.