The "Quote" Thread.

[Admiral Ackbar]

"I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows."
-Bart simpson

[Wshakspear]

"I wanna watch the Scary Monkey show!" Gir, Invader Zim

[Reality's Fringe]

"Man, I sure am tired of all these Star Wars." <<Guy from UCB Season 1

[Admiral Ackbar]

"...don't do milk and drink your drugs, kids"
-Mr T. SNL TV Funhouse

[daikaiju]

"I remember MY body...Pale..flabby...riddled with phlebitis...a good republican body!"
-Richard Nixon's head

[johnnyoski]

"Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!"
-Brother Bluto

[Tromack]

"Man, I sure am tired of all these Star Wars." <<Guy from UCB Season 1

Hilarious.

"It's like a Koala crapped a rainbow in my brain." Captain Murphy

[daphatty]

"Who's the bitch now?" - CheapyD (In response to eros' anonimous shit talking post on a main page deal that got him IP banned.)

[evilpenguin9000]

"Man, I sure am tired of all these Star Wars." <<Guy from UCB Season 1

Man that is a great line, gotta love UCB.

As for my quote, how about "Archie is not fucking Mr. Weatherbee" --Banky from Chasing Amy.

[sblymnlcrymnl]

"You see Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care. " - Office Space

I could see that one as a custom ranking

[dtcarson]

"She can sing or she can SCREAM! ..... but she still pissed me off."
Mok, Rock and Rule

"Have I made myself clear?"
"As an unmuddied lake, Fred. As clear as an azure sky of deepest summer. You can rely on me, Fred."
Truant Officer/Alex, A Clockwork Orange

That movie guy was quite annoying...."I can't wait till we get Out of Africa." Although I preferred the Hong Kong Danger Duo! You can't face the danger!

[snotknocker]

one of my favorites

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Albert Einstein

[Wshakspear]

I've been sticking $30 in pennies up my ass for the past 11 years! That's 3,000 pennies a day; 21,000 pennies a week; 1,092,000 pennies a year! To date that's 12,012,000 pennies, 8 times the population of Nebraska. Those pennies were in my ass! You think you're better than me? Oh, you're not better than me. You handle my ass pennies everyday. You pick up my ass pennies for good luck. You throw my ass pennies in fountains and make wishes on them. You give my ass pennies to your little daughter to buy gumballs with.

- Upright Citizens Brigade

[evilpenguin9000]

Hehehe, Ass pennies.

"I'm not in the business of doing things to please you." --Master Shake, Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

[FriskyTanuki]

"It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for the winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. And also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?" - Fry

[smalien1]

[Bobby wants plain toast, which isn't on the menu.]
Bobby : I'd like an omelet, plain, and a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast, no mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce. And a cup of coffee.
Waitress : A #2, chicken salad sand. Hold the butter, the lettuce, the mayonnaise, and a cup of coffee. Anything else?
Bobby : Yeah, now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven't broken any rules.
Waitress : You want me to hold the chicken, huh?
Bobby : I want you to hold it between your knees.

[evilpenguin9000]

^^^
Where is that from?

[Wombat]

"I have misplaced my pants" - Homer J. Simpson

[smalien1]

^^^
Where is that from?

five easy pieces

[GuilewasNK]

http://home.earthlink.net/~mlseaton/CAG/redd2.jpg

Redd Foxx

[thatstoobad]

I've been sticking $30 in pennies up my ass for the past 11 years! That's 3,000 pennies a day; 21,000 pennies a week; 1,092,000 pennies a year! To date that's 12,012,000 pennies, 8 times the population of Nebraska. Those pennies were in my ass! You think you're better than me? Oh, you're not better than me. You handle my ass pennies everyday. You pick up my ass pennies for good luck. You throw my ass pennies in fountains and make wishes on them. You give my ass pennies to your little daughter to buy gumballs with.

- Upright Citizens Brigade

i had that in my signature, but since you posted it i decided to change it, just for the heck of it.

here's a few good lines from some movies (off the top of my head, since there's obviously a ton of great movie lines):

"if you like authetic blues, you really gotta check out blues hammer. they're so great."

"but my lips hurt real bad!"

"cute cat, what's it name?"
"annoying customer."

"there used to be a way to stick it to the man, it was called rock & roll. but guess what? oh no, the man ruined that too with a little thing called MTV! so don't waste your time trying to make anything cool, or pure, or awesome, 'cause the man's just going to call you a fat washed up loser and crush your soul. so do yourselves a favor and just give up!"
------

here is one of my favorite quotes from a customer at where i am employed:

"tito puente? he dead but his music tight. drinkin' some wine."

[basketkase543]

"Where's..my..burrito?!" - Homer Simpson

[GuilewasNK]

"What's that? It looks like an Ethiopian toilet seat." - Master Shake

[GuilewasNK]

Get your MEAT ASS out here and have some fun with me! - Carl from ATHF

[iamarhinoceros]

everyone check for swamp leeches. what, no one esle got hit ?!? whats that about ?

- Steve Zissou

[fireball343]

Jerry- "Hello"
Telemarketer- "Hello, Would you like to switch to AT&T long distance"(really was some made up company but i forgot)
J-"I'm sorry I can't talk right now, How about you give me your home number and i'll call you back"
T-"We're not allowed to do that"
J"Is it because you don't want people to call you while your at home"
T-"Yeah"
J"Well, now you know how i feel"

-Seinfeld

[ZeroSupporT]

A couple:

Holden : The Internet is a communication tool used the world over where people can come together to bitch about movies and share pornography with one another.

Chaka : Do you know that I came up with the idea for Sesame Street? I came up with it before PBS. The white man stole it. That's right. I was gonna call it "N.W.P." - $$$$az With Puppets. Catchy, ain't it?

Brent : Hey Mr. Science Guy... don't spray that aerosol in my eye... for... for I... I don't really wanna die. I'm a noble rabbit...

Chaka : I film this, I yell cut and then I get the fuck outta here back to my trailer because I got more white girls in there then the first lifeboat of the Titanic and they all want a part in my movie and I got just the part for 'em!

All from JSBSB

[evilpenguin9000]

"MMMMM...waffle runoff." --Homer Simpson

[Spiritseed]

"What is the soup du jour?"
"The soup of the day"
"That sounds good I think I'll try that"

[SteveMcQ]

"You suck." - everyday Joe

[madmage]

"Carving expletives into ones car with a key, is a sign of friendship, and trust."-The Mooninites(ATHF)

[zewone]

"All that crazy dancing is making my penis soft." - Dave Chappelle

[Skylander7]

hmmm... let's play "fun quotes from History"

"As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no one... for I am the baddest mother fu@#er in the valley"

General George Patton

well... I think that's how it goes.. but nonetheless, there's something to have fun with on Xbox Live, kids. Go impress your opponents or something.

[daikaiju]

"First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me...*spits grape seed - ptooie!*...Blow."

-Ash

[Squirms]

Peter: Have they ever shown him doing somebody in and then feeding on him?
Brian: You're asking if they've ever done a Sesame Street in which the Count kills somebody and then sucks their blood for sustenance.
Peter: Yeah.
Brian: No, they've never done that.

[fireball343]

"No soup for you!!, come back, One Year!"

-Soup Nazi

[GuilewasNK]

hmmm... let's play "fun quotes from History"

"As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no one... for I am the baddest mother fu@#er in the valley"

General George Patton

well... I think that's how it goes.. but nonetheless, there's something to have fun with on Xbox Live, kids. Go impress your opponents or something.

Now THAT I like, heh!


Another quote (I think from Patton also)....

paraphrased..

"It's not your job to die for your country, its your job to make some poor dumb bastard die for theirs."

[GuilewasNK]

Ok, I did a search on Patton and found some good ones....

“If everybody is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking.”

"May God have mercy upon my enemies, because I won't.”

"Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity."

"Untutored courage is useless in the face of educated bullets."

"A leader is a man who can adapt principles to circumstances."

"It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived."

[beerguy961]

"It appears my wee wee has been struck with Rigor Mortis." - Stewie, FG

[antichameleon]

"Even the clowns were running after him. There was a guy with a clown nose and big shoes
running after him. I don't know what he would have done if he'd caught him."


--DEBORAH FAULK, 48, describing the pursuit in a New York City park after a tiger
escaped from a circus, quoted in the New York Daily News.

"It is not a normal or legal thing, anywhere in the country to carry a handgun without a permit while
selling ice cream," said Sgt. Eric Holtzclaw, a spokesman with the Enid Police Department.

[antichameleon]

"Aw, how could he (Jorge Orta) lose the ball in the sun, he's from Mexico."

- Harry Caray


"I don't get upset over things I can't control, because if I can't control them there's no use getting upset. And I don't get upset over the things I can control, because if I can control them there's no use in getting upset."

- Mickey Rivers

[MrBadExample]

"You may as well paint yourself yellow, run around like a maniac and call yourself Banana Man. 'Cause that's what you're doing." - Master Shake

[smalien1]

After being told the can't surf on a beach because it was in Vietnamese teritory

"Charlie Don't surf!"

[iamarhinoceros]

I never should have given up animation rights.

- G.O.B.

[Mustang O-Line 75]

Well, I think that I should join that uptight brigade because I'm going to be the first person to say this. None of these are "quotes". They are "quotations". "Quote" is a verb.

But my favorites quotation has to be the one that used to be in my sig.

"You buy a porsche and it's like going fishing, gotcha bitch"-cag1000

It's so mean, it's hilarious

[Admiral Ackbar]

"The difference between the right word and the wrong word is like the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning bolt!"
-Mark Twain

"Don't let the grammar get in the way of the writing."
-me :P

[Cracka]

"UH OH!" -peter griffen

[LinkinPrime]

"Hey! Thats no spaceship, thats my ass!"
-Bender (FUTURAMA)

[Renzokuken]

Brick Top : If I throw a dog a bone, I don't want to know if it tastes good or not. And if you ever interrupt me whilst I'm walking, I'll cut your fucking jacobs off.

Turkish : Have you ever stepped onto the road, and you turn and a car's almost on you? something very strange happens. Your life doesn't flash before your eyes, cos you're too fuckin' scared to think - you just freeze... and pull a stupid face

Movie: Snatch
Source: imdb.com

[Bann]

"Hey! Thats no spaceship, thats my ass!"
-Bender (FUTURAMA)
Somebody's watching adult swim....

[GuilewasNK]

"Now that's a MAN's flush!" - Al Bundy

[Mr. Anderson]

"Well, would you look at this merose motherfucker' right here. Looks like somebody just shit in your cereal." - Jay

[sblymnlcrymnl]

"Well, would you look at this merose mothershaq-fuer' right here. Looks like somebody just shit in your cereal." - Jay

Wasn't that Holden? Or were you referring to the movie?

[Ledhed]

"Well, would you look at this merose mothershaq-fuer' right here. Looks like somebody just shit in your cereal." - Jay

Wasn't that Holden? Or were you referring to the movie?

Jay said it to Holden first in Chasing Amy.

[jughead]

"It's the one that says bad motherf**ker on it!"

-Samuel L. Jackson, Pulp Fiction

[sblymnlcrymnl]

"Well, would you look at this merose mothershaq-fuer' right here. Looks like somebody just shit in your cereal." - Jay

Wasn't that Holden? Or were you referring to the movie?

Jay said it to Holden first in Chasing Amy.

Yeah, that's right. I thought of that after I posted, but I didn't feel like changing it right away.

I probably forgot because I didn't like Chasing Amy all that much and I'm not sure I've even watched it straight through before.

[evilpenguin9000]

"I haven't been fucked like that since grade school." --Marla Singer from Fight Club

[GuilewasNK]

"You know what the difference is between a goldfish and a mountain goat? A goldfish mucks around the fountain." - Redd Foxx

[daikaiju]

"T.J. ain't no pimp !! I prefer to think of myself as more of a...male madame."

-T.J. Hicks

[GuilewasNK]

"Know your role, and shut your mouth!" - The Rock

[daphatty]

"Know your role, and shut your mouth!" - The Rock

I prefer, "Do ya smeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllllllllll what The Rock is cookin'!"

[GuilewasNK]

Yeah, I dig pretty much most of what he says :D

[Admiral Ackbar]

"If I had some girl kickin' me around, I'd just go, 'Hey! Quit dressin' me up like a mailman, and making me dance around, while you go smoke crack in your bedroom and make love to another man in my Dad's bed!'"
-Eric Cartman

[Ledhed]

"I haven't been shaq-fued like that since grade school." --Marla Singer from Fight Club

In the book, that line is actually, "I wanna have your abortion." :lol:

[Othergods]

"Man, I sure am tired of all these Star Wars." <<Guy from UCB Season 1

Man I love UCB!!!

Here is my quote:

"He must have thought it was white boy day, it isn't white boy day is it?"
(Gary Oldman) Drexel- True Romance


I also love the Happy Gilmore quote from Bob Barker- "The Price is wrong/right, Bitch!" But I can not remember if he said right or wrong :(

[Mr_hockey66]

" What the hell you doing? You look like a bunch of monkeys fuking a football!"

!980 usa hockey coach Herb brooks

[GuilewasNK]

"Come on y'all! Commence ta jigglin'!" - Jiggle Billy

[Ledhed]

"Come on y'all! Commence ta jigglin'!" - Jiggle Billy

"Look, you have to be born a Highlander, you can't just become one!" - Happy-Time Harry

And in honor of RoboCheapy:

"GO CYBORG!!!" - Stewie Griffin

[GuilewasNK]

"Come on y'all! Commence ta jigglin'!" - Jiggle Billy

"Look, you have to be born a Highlander, you can't just become one!" - Happy-Time Harry

And in honor of RoboCheapy:

"GO CYBORG!!!" - Stewie Griffin

"Have a rootin' tootin' jigoff!" - Frylock

[GuilewasNK]

"Idle hands spend time at the genitals, and you know how much God hates that. " - Ol' Drippy

ATHF has got to be the most quotable show ever.

[Ledhed]

"The D stands for Dracula!" - Master Shake

Yeah, this thread could go for hours on ATHF alone.

[JSweeney]

Cast in the name of God, Ye Not Guilty- Big O

[GuilewasNK]

Cast in the name of God, Ye Not Guilty

GOD I LOVE THE BIG O!!

How did I forget that quote?

[GuilewasNK]

"Who's laughing now bitch?" -Mastershake to their TV set.

[evilpenguin9000]

"God made man, but he used a monkey to do it."--Devo

[smalien1]

" I have no penis"- DLF

[cyberlian]

Greg Norman: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."

[SneakyPenguin]

Before this moment, did I ever see the world?

-Tobun, from Last Rites.

[sblymnlcrymnl]

"I haven't been shaq-fued like that since grade school." --Marla Singer from Fight Club

In the book, that line is actually, "I wanna have your abortion." :lol:

Yeah, it's also in the deleted scenes.

[GuilewasNK]

Greg Norman: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."

:lol:

"I'll build my own theme park, with Blackjack and Hookers! In fact, forget the park!" - Bender

[snotnose_colossal]

"Fuck community college, let's get drunk and eat chicken fingers" - Ricky on TPB

[FriskyTanuki]

"Of all the friends I've had, you're the first." - Bender

[GuilewasNK]

Brannigan's Law is like Brannigan's Love... Hard and Fast... - Zapp Brannigan (duh, lol)

[evilpenguin9000]

"I have a sexy learning disability...what is it called kif?
"(sigh) sexlexia."

Zapp Branigan and Kif Kroaker

[GuilewasNK]

"The JACKASS will see you now..." - Kif Kroaker (God I love Futurama)