Court Rules a Horse Is Not a Vehicle

[crissy1616]

A horse is not a vehicle (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20040923/ap_on_fe_st/drunken_driving_horse)

PITTSBURGH - The state Supreme Court ruled that Pennsylvania's drunken driving law can't be enforced against people on horseback, a decision that inspired the dissenting justice to wax poetic.

The court ruled Wednesday in a case against two men in Mercer County in 2002. Riders Keith Travis, 41, and Richard Noel, 49, were charged with drunken driving along with a man driving a pickup who allegedly rear-ended the horse Travis was riding away from a bar on a dark country road.

All three men failed field sobriety tests, police said, but a judge threw out the charges against Noel and Travis after they argued that the word "vehicles" in the state's drunken-driving law doesn't apply to horses.

Prosecutors said the code specifically includes people riding animals. But the majority justices cited a similar case in Utah, where judges said such a statute is confusing and too vague about which regulations would apply to animals as well as vehicles.

Justice Michael Eakin, who is fond of writing rhyming opinions, summed up the lone dissent with two stanzas mimicking the theme song of "Mister Ed" — a 1960s TV sitcom about a talking horse:

"A horse is a horse, of course, of course,

but the Vehicle Code does not divorce

its application from, perforce,

a steed as my colleagues said.

"'It's not vague,' I'll say until I'm hoarse,

and whether a car, a truck or horse

this law applies with equal force,

and I'd reverse instead."

Thank God. I was never sure if a horse was a vehicle or not, but now we know for sure! :roll:

[cag1000]

i know whos posting soon lol

[SadieDee]

Darn, that explains why I had difficulty bolting my license plates on...

In Ohio, policemen have given DUI's to Amish driving buggies. I'm sure that's happened in other places too because they are rather heavy drinkers. Darn Amish, always causing trouble :-)

We also have started a program where drivers who are convicted of drunk driving have to get bright yellow license plates for their car. I wonder what they would have to do if that story happened in Ohio and they ruled horses a vehicle. hmmm...

[crissy1616]

i know whos posting soon lol

I am waiting for him to see this too :)

[ChrisXE]

lol waits in silence for the one and only to post

[Gothic Walrus]

Cool - all of the drunken Pennsylvania CAGs can ride ZL without getting into any trouble! :wink:

[daikaiju]

The horrifying part of this post to me, is that I live near enough to Mercer county that there is the possibility I have been IN this bar mentioned :(

[WildWop]

I've considered quite a few ways of getting to and from a bar without driving, but damn, I've never thought to use a horse.

Where to you tie up the horse while you're in the bar?

How much oats do you put in its feed bag to keep the horse happy while you go on an all-night bender?

Who will clean up its crap when it inevitably relieves itself on the sidewalk?

How do you train it to take you home when you are too drunk to know where you're going?

These are the pressing issues of our time, people.

[Moxio]

What's Zenithian's point of view on this? :P

[Ledhed]

What's Zenithian's point of view on this? :P

We're waiting with unbridled antici... pation. Please Zenith, where are you?!

[sblymnlcrymnl]

Who will clean up its crap when it inevitably relieves itself on the sidewalk?

Drunks scooping horse shit sounds like a good spectator sport.

[eldad9]

...along with a man driving a pickup who allegedly rear-ended the horse...

So, Jim, I hear you got arrested last night. What were the charges?

[Reality's Fringe]

"I- I rear-ended a horse......" <<<You just can't make that sound unsullied.

[WildWop]

Speaking of rearending a horse (http://www.collegian.psu.edu/archive/2001/10/10-23-01tdc/10-23-01dnews-4.asp)...

[sying]

As I ponder the wise musings of the Family Guy

Black Knight: Whats your fat ass doing here?
Minstrel with fat Donkey: But he's my only means of convayence. But I guess I do spoil him sometimes

[crissy1616]

What's Zenithian's point of view on this? :P

We're waiting with unbridled antici... pation. Please Zenith, where are you?!

How could he have not seen this thread yet?? I am sorely disappointed!!

[Zenithian Legend]

Well speaking for the horses of America, I must agree us horses are not vehicles. What I want to know is what kind of laws do they have against drunk horses in Pennsylvania, because if I'm ever going to visit I need to know. Shame I'm not drunk tonight after having to work til 3am, I'm sure I'd have a lot more interesting view of this if I was. Justice Michael Eakin is right though, how would you like a drunk riding you around? Well a drunk man? I know I wouldn't, however, any drunk fillies out there feel free to give me a call ;).

Oh and wildwop... that's just sick.

[Dok Diamond]

Speaking of rearending a horse (http://www.collegian.psu.edu/archive/2001/10/10-23-01tdc/10-23-01dnews-4.asp)...

sick ass people these days, even though they websites exclusively for this.

[beerguy961]

And there we go... straight from the horse's mouth....

[crissy1616]

And there we go... straight from the horse's mouth....

That's right! Haha!

[Squirms]

I find it amusing that a Supreme Court Justice wrote his dissent in the form of a TV theme song. I am also guessing he wears nothing underneath his robe.

[ZeroSupporT]

Speaking strictly from an IT point of view, how big is your keyboard zenith? Horse hooves gotta be like 4 or 5 inches wide.

[GuilewasNK]

Anything that can take a crap is not a vehicle. It may be transportation, but not a vehicle.

[Zenithian Legend]

Speaking strictly from an IT point of view, how big is your keyboard zenith? Horse hooves gotta be like 4 or 5 inches wide.

It's normal size, I hold a pencil in my mouth and use the "hunt and peck" method, that's also how I make my phone calls.

[sblymnlcrymnl]

Speaking strictly from an IT point of view, how big is your keyboard zenith? Horse hooves gotta be like 4 or 5 inches wide.

It's normal size, I hold a pencil in my mouth and use the "hunt and peck" method, that's also how I make my phone calls.

That's gotta be hard what with where your eyes are and all.

[evilpenguin9000]

Speaking strictly from an IT point of view, how big is your keyboard zenith? Horse hooves gotta be like 4 or 5 inches wide.

It's normal size, I hold a pencil in my mouth and use the "hunt and peck" method, that's also how I make my phone calls.

That's gotta be hard what with where your eyes are and all.

Xenithian legend's response to this has to be "Nay."

[Zenithian Legend]

Xenithian, I like it!

[Reality's Fringe]

I find it interesting that the method Zenithian uses was brought up. You see, I know someone famous (guess) who also houses an interesting modus operandi. During my summer internship with Mr. T, I was given audience to his frequent IM sessions with the rest of the A Team. Instead of typing, Mr. T merely has to "talk smack" to the keyboard and it dictates out of pure terror. Not even the logic of science can stop the bad-assery of Mr. T.

[evilpenguin9000]

oops :) Z...X so close on the keyboard.