Free 1600 MS Points Giveaway (Everyone Welcome)

[SmurfALMIGHTY]

Trying to get my name out there and helping the community out a little bit. Doing a contest a little bit of everything is welcome. I want to see a little creativity out of CAG members. You can do anything from Poetic, Graphic Work(Sig/Avatar possibly), Funny Joke/Story, you could tell me why you believe you deserve the points more then the next person, or hell you can even draw me a picture, and etc.. Just be creative and have fun. :D

After you recieve the code you're more then welcome to do as you wish, sell/trade/redeem, doesn't matter to me as far as i'm concerned you earned it.

Contest will run hopefully through today and possibly tomorrow depending on how many entries. Please post on here for your entry, multiple entries are allowed an encouraged so don't be shy if you have multiple ideas:applause: .Could be extended a few more days if there aren't enough participants yet.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/42/116378418_e3d508c92f.jpg?v=0

P.S I know this sounds like a shameless advertisement, but if you aren't creative or you happen to be lazy(aren't we all?,) i'm also selling/trading codes so feel free to CML :)

[Maklershed]

Here's a picture I made of Cheapy at Abu Ghraib:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v663/maklershed/cheapyatabughraib.jpg


Here's a picture I made of Cheapy being admired by the ladies:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v663/maklershed/ladieslovecheapydcopy.jpg


A picture of CAGoatse:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v663/maklershed/cheapygoatsecreatedbymaklershed.jpg


And finally, a picture I drew of CAG member Blade's avatar (before he changed it):

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v663/maklershed/blade.jpg

[SmurfALMIGHTY]

Excellent, keep them coming I especially like the goatse one.

[eminemobied12]

the joy it brings is one unmatched
the feeling isnt one that could easily be catched
to feel this way means getting a card
it feels better than eating some lard
smurfalmighty is a kind and gentle soul
to offer a M$ card for less than the price of a toll
i must come clean that i cannot write
but the opportunity for a free card i just had to bite
so with this poem i throw my hat in the ring
and if it will heighten my chances i damn sure will sing
so please consider this a very serious entry
cause if i win, i will praise u for now, and the rest of the century
but if i come up short i will be sad
but i do have paypal and wont be mad

[SmurfALMIGHTY]

Round of applause for you. :applause:

[Mr_hockey66]

Im chuck norris bitch!

There is no one cooler then chuck norris! Plus if you don't give them to me.....I'll roundhouse kick you in da face!

[rickyff7]

I showed my friend of my girlfriend picture, how cute she is...
He took the picture, says "Okay,Ill take a look."
As i find out that his pants is off, and he starts Faping. (Umm...you know)
I was in shock, and he scream "AHHHN!!!"
I look down in still shocked, and he replay "She's okay, I guess."

[mguiddy]

CheapyD/Tai manbabie


http://img260.imageshack.us/img260/2084/cdmb1fp7.jpg

CheapyD is Coming to America


http://img80.imageshack.us/img80/8841/cdicoahc0.jpg

[trabbahabba]

So wait....there's no actual contest? You just want us to entertain you like some kind of jesters?

See my avatar here
<===========

It's Neil Diamond. The greatest entertainer in the world.

Where's my point card...

[SmurfALMIGHTY]

So wait....there's no actual contest? You just want us to entertain you like some fucking jesters?

Definitely a contest theres just requirements for your entry. Creativity is what i'm looking for, not stupidity.

[chrisnsally]

I won the Nigerian Lottery. No, seriously - this dude emailed me and said I did. He said I just need to send him 1600 MS points to release the funds. Then I'll be a millionaire!!!

Won't you help out a millionaire?

[sithmonkeyba]

like a bird i soar
haiku i give for pleasure
whore i am for points

SB

[thadwhit]

There once was a dude with free shit,
who encouraged us all to submit,
poems or art, about dicks, shit, and farts,
without knowing if he is legit.

[simp1ysimon]

My Beloved


Tick! Tock! Tick! Tock! Patiently as I wait for the minute hand to make its final roundabout at that desired moment, the teacher announces that class is dismissed and I can finally rush back home to be with my beloved. As I lay my book bag of boulders upon the floor, I stare at my blank monitor, knowing that it will soon be displayed with captivating graphics. I frolicked across the room to browse through my collection. I take a moment to carefully decide which one of my beauties will be entertaining me today. At long last, I’m reunited with my beloved Xbox 360.
As I press on her soft spot, she wildly roars back to life. A neon extraterrestrial green halo shows up around her soft spot to show that she is healthy. I sit there comfortably with my controller, waiting for her to transport me on my next journey as would a young child making believe that he is in a fairy tale. She has a never ending supply of tales, each of them giving me various emotions. I was horrified for days when she told me about a futuristic engineer located in space. He boards an abandoned spaceship filled with terrifying mutated creatures that can only exist in another universe. These creatures scatter around hastily and silently in the same way a cockroach would in your kitchen in the middle of the night. They may suddenly appear from any direction, tracking the engineer to try and satisfy their thirst for blood.
Another mentionable tale was of various street brawlers from all different types of characters and all different countries. These warriors battle among each other to rise to the top, each of them beholds special abilities that are extraordinarily out of this world. One fighter from Japan is able to launch balls of fire from the palm of his hands. He can also stay afloat in the air while miraculously spinning his legs damaging any foe within his distances like a ballerina of death. Another combatant was a test subject who through experimentation caused his posture to slump like an impatient baboon and his complexion to turn to a bright eye blinding green. Each of these characters has his own unique style of fighting. In order to understand the fighter, you must become the fighter. As you’re up against the other fighters with their special abilities, you must know how to counter each one with the character of your choosing. Just thinking of this story helps me gain a competitive edge. As I think about those fighters it inspires me to move along in life, instead of slovenly having an everlasting slumber in my bed.
During the reminiscing of these stories, I gaze upon my vast collection of these portals to another world and realize how grateful I am for possessing them. Without these stories and my beloved, I’ll probably become insane with boredom.. I can’t bear to imagine my life without her. It will be so empty and meaningless.

<this is a descriptive essay that i wrote for my english class about how my xbox 360 is a mother/girlfriend and how the games are fairy tales to me>

[TheGlow]

Ive been unemployed since Thanksgiving. Im married and have 2 kids. it was my youngests 4th birthday on thursday and only had money to get her a barbie doll. no party, no cake, no candles. its the others next month. my wife is always sick and going to the doctor for stomach problems, most likely related to depression. What money I have I spend on transportation on trains and buses for job interviews.
the little I have left to keep me sane is my gaming.
I dont NEED the points, but theyd be nice right around now.

[luan87us]

May 18th is my birthday.
That all I really have to say.
I've never misbehaved =(.
Wish I can win the giveaway,
To buy some DLC and play.

[SkeletonBrute]

My creative spark, I thought was long dead,
beaten to a pulp, or shot in the head.
But early one May morning, I logged on to CAG,
I need me some MS Points, a deal needs to be had!
I went to the frontpage, and what should I see,
A gracious soul giving some away, for free!
SmurfALMIGHTY, with those points in his hand,
had CAG's members in uproar throughout the land.
With those points what I would do I dont know,
perhaps Broken Steel, Peggle, or maybe UNO!
I've read some great entries that posted before I,
some have pictures, some poems, and look, there's Tai!
Should mine be chosen, I would thank SmurfALMIGHT',
and probably wind up playing Peggle all fucking night!

[ssj3pikachu]

just for laughs:

i was doing an expert run on Left 4 Dead's Blood Harvest the other day when this kid gets crippled outside one of the earlier shacks and starts screaming for help because he's close to getting some achievement. "I REALLY NEED IT GUYS HURRY THE ETC. UP AND GET ME!" it was louis. francis and i fought off the horde from him and hobbled outside. finally i'm standing by him and he's all happy to be alive. "HURRY GET ME UP!" i just stand there. "ARE YOU GOING TO GET ME UP?"
...
'no.'
...
'i'm healing.'
after I healed, I took his medpack right as he died, only for bill (me) to scream
"LOOOOOUUUIIISSSSSS!"

---

BLIP BLIP BLIP:

Speeding slow, hopeless
it is not really speeding
at all, you know? Yeah.

My brothers are few
and many at the same time.
We aren't different.

Jellyfish is here
as is the octopus guy
lastly: jumping jack.

You have lots of lives
as many as I brothers
we cannot kill you.

We march to the beat
four blips followed by return
marching to our death

tell my wife something:
I love her, my data hers
tell my mom too, please.

I say my good bye
I am a space invader
marching to my death.

[the_punisher]

I KAN HAZ CHEEBERGr?

[Buzzman]

I should get them points because I am a monster at Flash yahtzee

http://img43.imageshack.us/img43/8013/29100003.png

[Mirpkered]

well, I'll go ahead and throw out some motivators I've made/gotten. Even if they don't win everyone will get a good laugh out of them.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3396/3429955294_3c2fdf7ca1.jpg

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3620/3449605165_91449019ac.jpg

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3521/3465031307_228a84a085.jpg

Enjoy!

[king ccm]

A slight exaggeration of an event that did happen to me:

The Story:

So I decided to use the restroom one day, normal urine releasing business and what not. As I entered the bathroom, I took note of the fact that the floor was wet. Soaked, really. I had a bit of a mental double take on what I would soon be doing, but decided, I'd probably be fine.

I was wrong.

Seeing as 2 people had taken the side stalls, I was stuck with the dreaded middle urinal. As I use the restroom, the guy next to me decides to make small talk- "Hm, the floor is wet here, what do you think happened?"

I looked at him funny, because he was violating manlaw rules by engaging in small talk in the restroom, then proceeded to flush the toilet, because I was in fact, finished urinating.

Hell broke loose.

Somehow, I had managed to neglect seeing a hole in the head of the urinal I was using- It would be my downfall. Waterflowed.I would have to say, the toilet exploded in a way.Water sprays everywhere like a gigantic magnificent, waste filled fountain. I, quickly realizing the danger, aboutfaced and dashed away from the toilet, escaping with my face intact, but the back of my shirt horribly maimed.

I was the luckyone.

The man on my right had also made it away, but he was hit bad- He only had one arm. Then I realized that he was born like that, and focused my attention on the poor fellow on my left. The man who had so awkwardly broken manlaw codes and conventions was in fact, still using the bathroom! He apparently had not finished "business" and was attempting to finish taking care of it as fast as he could. If there is a god, he did not show mercy for that poor man- he must have had several Gallons of water or something, because that man was stuck. It was like watching a glorious, water spewing, car crash in slow motion. After what seemed like forever, he had finally finished his first business, and was about to embark on the other- the business of avoiding being completely engulfed in water.

He failed.

For some reason, he had made the descision to dive to safety. That's right, dive. He failed to realize that the wall of the bathroom, was in reality, not far away. He also failed to realize he could have just as easily walked to safety. Walking, which would have saved him blunt head trauma as a result of colliding with a wall at high speeds. Before losing conciousness, he had uttered a phrase which will resonate with me the rest of my life: "We'll always...have..Paris."

I was surprised. Here was a man I had known for about at the most, 30 seconds, but apparently, he bought me Paris.I dwelled on this for about 4 seconds before I stopped paying it any mind and allowed to let the paramedics take care of him. Lifeguard classes be damned- I wanted to get away from this creepy, manlaw breaking, paris buying fool as soon as possible.

The second thing dawned on me- I killed a man. What happened to this guy is my fault. I quickly got over that too, because the guy wasn't really hurt, just a little, unconcious. I mean, when's the last time you heard of someone dying by getting hit on the... oh. Well, he should be okay anyways.

The Moral of this story?

NEVER, ever break manlaw. Karma is a bitch.

[sithmonkeyba]

if we can vote i vote for king. that is freakin hilarious

[Mr Dude65]

Let me tell you a story.

Once upon a time, there was a young prince who dreamt of becoming a superhero. Everyday he would sit around and read his favorite comic books over and over again. After reading them, he would put on a bed sheet, run into the castle grounds, and pretend he could fly.
One day, he thought that he might be able to fly if he could jump from the top of the castle. He got a ladder and reached his destination within minutes. He gazed around at the land he would soon be flying over. It was so beautiful that he couldn't stop himself from trying to fly. He jumped and flapped his arms, but he had no wings, so he plummeted into the grounds.
The prince was lucky however, and only broke his leg. He could no longer sit cross-legged and read about his favorite heroes or pretend that he was one of them. He could only lay down and play Ye Olde X-Box 360.
Many months had passed since he had pretended he was a superhero, and he was starting to loose hope that his dream would come true, when one day, as he was browsing Ye Olde X-box Live Arcade, he came across a peculiar find.
He had discovered Watchmen: The End is Nigh. At last, his dreams of beating up baddies and helping the world could be realized. He clicked the buttons on the controller faster than lightning, rushing to be able to live out his fantasy.
Suddenly, however, he was stopped dead in his tracks. He did not have enough Ye Olde Microsoft Points to purchase the game. The prince cried out in agony. How could this be? He would never be able to live out his fantasies, and would be condemned to playing Hasbro: Family Game Night. The End.

I'll let you in on a little secret. That prince is actually me. Don't you want to help a prince become a superhero?

[Pikagreg]

This is why I stopped playing MMORPG's :/

http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c6/Pikagreg/pikagreg.jpg

[catabarez]

Alright i got a joke (not sure if its good)

So there are these two muffins in a oven
One muffin says, "Hey, it's getting really hot in here."
And the other says "OH MY GOD IT'S A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

[robbyH]

A short story (sorta true).

Back in Aug, 1989. Pete Rose took a plea deal with baseball, in exchange of accepting a lifetime ban and a agreement of reinstatement after a year by baseball commish Bart Giamati. Eight days later on Sept 1, Giamatti died, I was responsible.

It started when I visited my dad in Columbush Ohio for my birthday. I took the greyhound to see him. When I got to his and my sister's apartment, she dropped me off and I waited for dad. When he got there, the NESN (northeast sports network) was running audio (they had still stores until 5pm) about Rose and his deal that was already violated by John Dowd. I told my dad, I wished Bart Giamatti dropped dead! My dad told me that it's not nice to wish another dead. So we went to a movie (the package starring Gene Hackman and Dennis Franz). Afterwards, my dad wanted to see another movie, and I wanted to explore the shopping center the threater was at. So I walk around, and in a arcade was where I spotted a coin-op Strider. I played the NES game and got frustrated, but the arcade game was smooth and fun. Then I went to this little deli to get a coke. That's where I heard about Giamatti having a heart attack. I left and got my trusted walkman, tuned to 700 WLW cincinnatti. At the 5pm news, I heard that Giamattii had died. When i met up with my dad, I told him about his death. Dad said.... "good job son, the bastard deserved it for what he did to Pete!"

Then we went off and had Pizza. It was a good weekend.

So I would like the 1600 to off set any guilt I have.

Thank you.

[Rjbauer]

give it to me, because I can kill you with my brain.

[D0RC]

Hey surfALMIGHTY thanks for doing this. I'm actually in school for photography right now and this thread is perfect to showcase some of my work. I would love this earn this prize because all my money goes into school and I never have enough for games. So I would use it to get the Fallout 3 DLC, I love that game. Good luck everyone. Here they are, all taken and edited by me:

One of my models:
http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/68/m_535589823f224d54a2bd64847e81ab04.jpg

I named this one batter:
http://c3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/98/m_07473442420c400399081d59f1bd9b4a.jpg

I named this one sole/soul:
http://c2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/86/m_7ef7a2ec9af942888f0fa475e7c49dd1.jpg

Random pics:

http://c3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/83/m_f4cdb4493413432b8bf9b8c1e131ae42.jpg

http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/82/m_f8cd2b7250c4470a8107f263f8b8d0c0.jpg

http://c3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/68/m_e1a2fb83e0e04e6e8439e3b5e50cb98a.jpg

http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/102/m_b3815ac548304daa85b3c4ff0df1d474.jpg

http://c2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/108/m_1d159d6a284f43f8817dbb025be8e179.jpg

http://c2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/90/m_da00cd13254c472489b816216ccffd21.jpg

Light in the dark:

http://c2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/91/m_5beedca7de1e48bca1a2cdc5b362ce95.jpg

[LegendK7ll3r]

Some may find the following offensive, wrong, terrible, or anything else associated with being morally wrong and just plain terrible.

http://www.gatesofsurvival.com/images/pat/uploads/benoit2.jpg

Entry #2

http://www.gatesofsurvival.com/images/pat/uploads/santavania.png

[Zincdust]

Why me? It's because I'm one of the major off-panel Spider-Man villains. Here's proof!:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v470/Zincdust/SpideyVSZinc.jpg
EDIT: Oh, and I forgot to add... Thanks a million for the opportunity!!! :)

[alexdeluxe]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v45/fredly/hungcrunch.jpg

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a394/fredly2/countclay.jpg

http://s15.photobucket.com/albums/a394/fredly2/rubenflakese.jpg

My American Idol cereal boxes...dunno why I did this!

[playing mantis]

Here's the meat of an email I just sent to Harmonix (makers of Rock Band) regarding PDP's slated Gametrak Freedom motion controller for 360.

"I am excited about the upcoming release of the Gametrak Freedom motion controller for Xbox 360 (from Performance Designed Products, Q4 2009).

I think the Gametrak Freedom presents a golden opportunity to reach even further into the casual game-player market. I was wondering what plans Harmonix has for integrating this new controller into the Rock Band games?

With this advanced new controller, music can be easier than ever! The Gametrak Freedom could be used to delve into a dimension of music that has yet to be explored in a music/rhythm game...the cow bell!

Think of all the customers that are turned away because they are just not coordinated enough to shred on the guitar, or to beast on the drums. Not only would cow bell simulation increase your customer base, it could also reduce the number of returns.

I don't know how many times I've been at a game store, only to have a hysterical mother come in kicking and screaming about how "this music game is too hard for little Timmy," and how the employees "never should have sold it to me."

The magic of music has sustained the souls of untold generations, through good times and bad times. Young or old, rich or poor...In these trying economic times, I think we could all use some more cow bell."

[archangelreb]

I really need these points. I know it ounds like a sob story but it's 100% true as much as I wanted to buy some points to get the newest maps for Halo 3 my dog apparently got stung by a bee in the ear. Her face had swollen up twice it's size which prompted an immediate trip to the Vet. She is doing well but my bank account isn't. Who would've thought two shots would cost almost 140.00. Well if I win the points it will be a bright spot to an otherwise crappy day. P.S. My pup is doing well now just a little sleepy from the benadryl.

[LaraCroftsLeftBoob]

Little Johnny was going out side to play. As he walked past his mom's bedroom, he heard strange noises. He cracked the door and peeked in. He saw his mom laying on her bed completely naked, rubbing her hands all over her body moaning "I need a man, I need a man." johnny didn't think too much of it and continued outside to play.
The next day as he was passing his mom's room he heard the strange noises again. So he peeked in her room again. she was laying naked on her bed again, rubbing her hands all over her body moaning "I need a man, I need a man." Johnny shut the door and went about his day.
The next day he heard noises coming from his mom's room. He peeked in and saw his mom laying completely naked on her bed. and there was a naked man laying on top of her. Johnny shut the door, ran to his bedroom, took off all his clothes, jumped up onto his bed and started rubbing his hands all over his body moaning "I need a new bike, I need a new bike."

[$hady]

May I have it? Please and thank you.

Your mother wants you to reward good manners. :D

[Mirpkered]

So I have a story that might be deemed as funny as well.

My friend Trevor called me up about a year ago as we haven't talked in a while and eventually, this is conversation we have...

Trevor: So, I have a story I think you would appreciate.
Me: Ok go for it.
Trevor: Earlier this week I has some problems. I didn't poop for 2-3 days for some reason. Maybe too much cheese I don't know. So finally yesterday it hit. I ran to the bathroom as quick as I could and it was terrible! I looked down at it and it was so runny and nasty that if you were a scuba diver you couldn't see through it.
Me: (while laughing histerically) a scuba diver???
Trevor: Yes a scuba diver.

So now one of the normal phrases I ask is:

If you were a scuba diver could you see through it?

[dsrtstorm]

I'm not your run of the mill person.
And for the mill I don't run, especially for a creativity contest.

[darkclawsofchaos]

.




<-Look a monkey.

See how he entertains you

He's pointing to probably the best entry.

Do not disappoint the monkey.
He will hide in your closet and do evil things if you do not choose me.

[Ch33pSh33p]

Ladies & gentleman....

CAG, the musical:
http://i43.tinypic.com/1zexyl1.jpg

[rjarmstrong100]

rjamstrong100@hotmail.com; 15:02:18 05/15/09

ATTENTION VIRGINIA RJARMSTRONG100

I have your shit! In *my* possession, right now, are 8,257,378 patient records your 1600 point card and a total of 35,548,087 prescriptions. Also, I made an encrypted backup and deleted the original. Unfortunately for Virginia rjarmstrong100, their your backups seem to have gone missing, too. Uhoh :(

For $10 million, I will gladly send along the password. You have 7 days to decide. If by the end of 7 days, you decide not to pony up, I'll go ahead and put this baby out on the market eBay and accept the highest bid. Now I don't know what all this shit is worth or who would pay for it, but I'm bettin' someone will. Hell, if I can't move the prescription data 1600 point card at the very least I can find a buyer for the personal data (name,age,address,social security #, >driver's license #). box it came in.

Now I hear tell the Fucking Bunch of Idiots ain't fond of payin out you kind sir, don't pay out, but I suggest that policy be turned right the fuck around. When you boys get your act together, drop me a line at hackingforprofit@yahoo.com masterchiefzhazur1600@yahoo.com and we can discuss the details such as account number, etc.

Until then, have a wonderful day, I know I will ;)



Dear Smurf Almight,
As you can already see, Master Chief is still around and has mugged me with his BR and taken my 1600 point card. As I do not like to deal with Heroes turned criminals, I would very much enjoy having a brand new 1600 point card. Here is the attached picture of him with my point card that was attached in the e-mail.

http://ryanjarmstrong.com/1600.jpg

[MagnumX3]

....I'll be your friend :)

[adriley313]

Here a funny story that will make you laugh I wrote:
http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=8452

[spike4536]

Your username gave me an idea, A stupid idea.:dunce: So here's what i threw together in about 10-15 minutes.
http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i258/Spike4536/CAG%20Pics/SmurfALMIGHTY.jpg
Thanks for the contest dude.

[SmurfALMIGHTY]

Your username gave me an idea, A stupid idea.:dunce: So here's what i threw together in about 10-15 minutes.
http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i258/Spike4536/CAG%20Pics/SmurfALMIGHTY.jpg
Thanks for the contest dude.
Not gonna lie that was one of the few entries to make me LOL in RL.

[gotrice415510]

that shud win

[SmurfALMIGHTY]

Curious to see if anyone plans on making some drawings or somethng.

[spike4536]

Not gonna lie that was one of the few entries to make me LOL in RL.

Cool, Glad you enjoyed it.

[Bathory]

Well Im sure my sig will give you a LOL.:lol:

[SmurfALMIGHTY]

Definitely did as a avid fan of the MK series lol.

[zuuku]

give me like a few hours and ill make you a sake fallout 3 signature. plz dont end contest yet :)

[SmurfALMIGHTY]

Doesn't necessarily have to do with fallout you can make it anything creative.

[Solidrevolver89]

I should win cause I drew you a picture Of Ninja Turtle Villains with an xbox live card

http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k149/solidrevolver89/xboxntmntvills.jpg


also in honor of Punch-Out's Release a video a made a while ago:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AagvsqirSM

[emperor922]

thought you'd like this
http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v640/emperor922/?action=view&current=papasmurf.jpghttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v640/emperor922/papasmurf.jpg

[Str8Nasty786]

These should maybe make you laugh..

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops, looks directly at me, and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN!" and proceeds to flip me over, grab his clothes, and run out of my room. FML

[hynch]

Smurf your camera takes really nice close ups. No text blur at all. Did you use macro mode?

[Fuzi0n]

Something I just made with Illustrator for my art class, thought it might work here. :D

http://hdimage.org/images/8tiwmys0sqoog85jmnt3_banananinja_thumb.jpg (http://hdimage.org/viewer.php?file=8tiwmys0sqoog85jmnt3_banananinja.j pg)

[YoatOverNothing]

I just looked at your username and put together the first thing I thought of...

http://i236.photobucket.com/albums/ff259/dewire79/CAGcontest.png

[flameo2000]

A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender tells the string "sorry, we don't serve pieces of string here," and asks the string to leave.

Outside, the string finds a man in the back alley of the bar. "Excuse me," the string asks, "could you fray me?" The man frays the string, and leaves the alley. Soon after, another man walks down towards the string. "Excuse me," the string asks, "could you tie me in a knot?" The man ties the string into a knot, and leaves.

The string re-enters the bar, and orders again.The bartender stares at the string for a moment, and asks "Excuse me sir, but were you in here before?"

The string looks at the bartender and says "No sir, I'm a frayed knot."

[archangelreb]

I must win or I will have my minions do this to you.http://i194.photobucket.com/albums/z162/archangelreb24/mooning16992.jpg

[lazyotaku]

There was once a dog named book bag.
A car ran him over and all his books fell out.

[jmbotelho01]

how do you find a blind man at a nude beach? IT'S NOT HARD!!!

[sippycupz]

Well I guess I'll tell you a story about my friend A-Kin who you probably know as Darth Vader, a story that you are most likely unfamiliar with. they told me not to spread the real story about what went down in a galaxy far far aways, they told me there'd be... consequences... but 1600 MS Points is 1600 MS Points. anyway, you didn't hear the juice from this moisture farming son of a bantha, but Darth Vader really needed all that machinery because he had emphysema. He Force Choked people so much so that he could teach them that's what smoking does to you. While it may seem harsh, coming dangerously close to killing them was an effective tactic in a large anti-smoking awareness campaign led by Darth Vader called Sith Against Sith Smoking and Yoda. The campaign was making steadfast progress until liberal "change the world" Generation X-Wingers blew up the Death Star. After that fiasco, the Galactic Empire tried to hold them off with Tobacco Interest and Enjoyment Fighters to no avail and the Empire subsequently crumbled. A piercing sound resonated throughout space, as if millions of lungs gasped out in terror and were suddenly silenced; but at least when it came to Yoda, it was mission accomplished for SASSY.

[kylerg]

Mine:
http://img194.imageshack.us/img194/2994/smurf.jpg

Mine by Girlfriend:
http://img40.imageshack.us/img40/4368/grindbybananapanik.jpg

[SmurfALMIGHTY]

Mine:
http://img194.imageshack.us/img194/2994/smurf.jpg

Mine by Girlfriend:
http://img40.imageshack.us/img40/4368/grindbybananapanik.jpg

I kind of want to end the contest just from those entries alone lol but i'm going to keep it going for a few more days if possible lol. Excellent work, if that coffee reference was towards gears of war then :applause:

[kylerg]

It was a Grinder from Gears, yes. Glad you got the reference. I spent like 30 minutes on that Smurf ;)

[darknight88]

Ok Im gonna tell you why I should get it more than the next guy. Ok so im a poor college student and I worked so hard for everything I have so far but sadly I lost my PT job. SO i havent had a chance to buy anything for a while and have to start selling stuff from the collection. Sucks I know so you givinh me an opportunity to win will make my day and will support 360 devs by buying a game from XBLA.

[BlindxPew]

Well i made a video about Margaret thatcher and i dressed up as her. thats pretty cool?

[kirby_fox]

Hmm...why I should get 1600 MS points over everyone else? It becomes a difficult idea to manifest. What if I were to actually win a contest presented on CAG? What if I were to simply not enter? The amount of variables is astounding...but let's see what happens in the hypothetical future if I win:

I am surprised for one. I have never won a contest like this sort and can't believe that others' entries were not won over mine. I thank you and figure out how to use the points on the Xbox, something I have never done before. Without Xbox Live, I resort back to CAG for a free code.

None of the codes seem to work. I'm too poor to go to the store, and I need money in order to get the Xbox Live code. Luckily, I see there is a poker tournament at my local church with a substantial jackpot. I decide to enter.

I lose my life savings there, beause of my gambling problem. My car is repossessed. I have to drop out of college. I can't make it to work now, since the bus doesn't go by there at the right times so they fire me. In desperate need for money and a job, I join a prostitution ring on Craigslist. I do not enjoy having to please 50 year old men, but I have to do it. It's my only way out of the mess I have gotten myself into.

I start making more money than I did at my other job. I'm my pimp's new boy toy. A rival pimp makes me an offer I can't refuse, much more money and an incentive of cash at the start. I start working for him. My first pimp, Ricardo, finds me on the street and threatens to kill me if I don't give him cash for all the men I've pleasured. I am forced at gunpoint to hand most of it over. For the next few months I make less and less, my life in much more danger than before.

I finally tell me pimp, Big Daddy George, about Ricardo. Furious, he sends a few of his goons to take care of the problem and get the money back that is rightfully his. My small town erupts into a gang war. A cop is killed. A civilian is shot and put into the hospital in critical condition. And it's all my fault.

Blaming the rising hostility in the town on my actions, I become depressed. I start doing drugs to take away the pain. The more time passes, the worse the gang war is and the harder drugs I do.

I haven't lived at home in months by then. I live in hosues of drug dealers or sleep in the beds after someone has their way with me. Sometimes I just do it for a bed. I don't even take the money. What's the point? I'm constantly hungry. I fear I have an STD but I can't go to the doctor. There's not enough money for me, and I'm afraid he'll notice I'm on drugs and call the cops.

One day I'm busy doing coke off the back of an old man. I start convulsing. I wind up on the floor of the hotel room. He leaves me in the hallway to die, and disappears to never be seen again. A maid who just happens to be nearby sees me and calls 911. I'm rushed to the hospital, barely alive. I enter a coma. 6 months later I awake. They put me through rehabilitation. My parents welcome me home with open arms.

The gang war still wages on though. I blame myself still. I get addicted to vicadin, can't find a job. They put me through rehab again to get me off of vicadin. Then I'm arrested on charges of killing a man whom I once pleasured for money. I sit in jail for days, until they clear me of the charges. While in there, I become addicted to heroin- and think I have nothing to live for anymore.

I'm sent to a clinic again. 4 months later I arrive back home finally. They hook me up with a nice, easy job in construction. My friends all visit me. They haven't seen me in years and are working their real world jobs. I envy them, and start drinking heavily. After a heavy night of binge drinking, I see the 1600 MS points card lying on the ground. Even though the Xbox 720 is out by then, I turn the old 360 on and get it working.

I finally download Braid and play it half drunk, until someone finds my body on the floor. I collapsed and threw up in my mouth, choking on it in the night and eventually dying. They turn off the Xbox and hold my funeral a week later.

If I don't get it:

I graduate college. I become successful. I go play other games instead.

...maybe I shouldn't win this...

[Wolfkin]

"Submitted for the approval of the this contest, I call this entry..." : The pictures I created for forum use myself because google didn't find them for me.

http://lh4.ggpht.com/_Hsi79aT2rVc/STGGoGTaOvI/AAAAAAAAA40/yi5iW_TIibw/s400/wonder_woman_oh_no_you_didnt.jpg
http://lh4.ggpht.com/_Hsi79aT2rVc/STHFWPnqmfI/AAAAAAAAA5A/3SrIIATrpnc/s800/powergloveserious.jpg

[GrilledWitOnions]

Hope I'm not too late.

http://i140.photobucket.com/albums/r7/d3vkit/smurf_almighty_statue.png

[spike4536]

Alright, So i had an idea for another "Smurf Movie" and figured i'd post it here. I don't know why i thought of this.:-s
But here's the outcome.

http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i258/Spike4536/CAG%20Pics/SMURFSONAPLANE.jpg

[SmurfALMIGHTY]

I dig it lol.

[polo14player]

some jokes -

Knock KnockWho's there?
Papa smurf
Papa smurf who?
Papa smurf in the oven and eat it for lunch

[polo14player]

A little blue smurf walked into a bar and hit his hand on the bar. The bartender then put a beer in front of the smurf and carried on making drinks for the others at the bar. A biker noticed but didn’t say anything.
About five minutes later, the smurf jumped on the bar and took a swig of his beer. The biker laughed, and the smurf stared at him. The little blue creature then ran down the bar, stuck his face in the biker’s beer and said, “Blwullbll!!” The smurf took another swig of his beer, and, staring at the biker, sat back in his barstool.
The biker got upset and flipped the smurf off, so the smurf jumped back on the bar, took another swig of his beer, ran down the bar, stuck his face in the biker’s beer and said, “Blwullb!!”
The biker then had had enough. He got the bartender’s attention and told him, “If that smurf does that one more time, I’ll cut his nuts off!”
The bartender quickly replied, “Little blue smurfs don’t have nuts.”
“Well, I’ll cut his dick off,” the biker said.
“Little blue smurfs don’t have dicks.” The bartender was trying hard not to laugh.
“Whoa!” The biker was very confused.”How do smurfs take a piss?”
The bartender started laughing, then said, “You’re going to be mad.”
“TELL ME!!”
The bartender smiled, and, glancing at the smurf, said, “BLWULLB!!”

[polo14player]

What do you call a Smurf with its pants down?

A Blue moon!!!

[Jrittmayer]

Well since everyone is going with Smurf flavored fun I thought I might add a sprinkle to the mixture.

http://img508.imageshack.us/img508/8158/smurfburka.jpg

http://img508.imageshack.us/img508/236/smurfcoffeehouseo.gif

http://img297.imageshack.us/img297/2456/ziggysmurfcomic.jpg

http://img507.imageshack.us/img507/7687/0014300728.gif

[D0RC]

If you don't pick me, this lady will curse you and drag you to hell.

http://img528.imageshack.us/img528/9288/dragmetohellmovie01.jpg

[SpazX]

I don't think this is really an entry or anything, but I just wanted to say that when I saw the pic of the points card in the OP, my brain interpreted it as being huge. Like fake prize check huge.

[chililili]

Here are some Microrelatos or Short Short Stories (in english):

The dress was removed with great care; the head, less so.

Aliens above, universal pizza. Wrong address.

He stepped out of the shadows. Finally, he turned the light off.

Wasted men with wasted lives, wanting more and gaining less.

[darkclawsofchaos]

If you don't pick me, this lady will curse you and drag you to hell.

http://img528.imageshack.us/img528/9288/dragmetohellmovie01.jpg

My evil monkey is scarier

[lilredvampy]

pls :)

[wesdw369]

tohs a htrow llits tub evitaerc that ton stI ?niw i nac esaelp

[greyzieoriental]

1-2-3
I like free
more than everyone
above me

[YoatOverNothing]

Perhaps you will find these amusing...just random stuff I put together...

http://i236.photobucket.com/albums/ff259/dewire79/NintenCOGS-1.png

http://i236.photobucket.com/albums/ff259/dewire79/wardfa.jpg

[jacknicklson]

Just adding some quick laughs/wtfs to the thread


http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i123/jacknicklson/1.jpg?t=1242761550
http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i123/jacknicklson/motivator-milking.jpg?t=1242761578

[Sloshmaster]

I am running for Student Council and it could really give my campaign a egde-up saying that i won this prestigous reward/prize!

[Jrittmayer]

This is the face of a winner
http://facemelt.us/crazy_face

[SmurfALMIGHTY]

Contest will end in 24 hours (hopefully) please start submitted serious entries for a good chance at winning, i've narrowed down my options so far, but i'm hoping to have a pretty neat last minute entry.

[Solidrevolver89]

SmurfALMIGHTY is Adam Fenix :

http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k149/solidrevolver89/ADAMSMURFIX.jpg

I Love Randomness!

[JesusMaximus]

Here's a short story I wrote:

False Facts
False Facts
By Matt Lynch
The whole population of the world could fit in the state of Rhode Island.
This is according to the small book on the waiting room table. The book is called Factoids: The Book of False Facts. Among the other books on the table, this is the one I chose. I am the only one in the room.
The moon is made entirely of cheese.
People with darker eyes have better reflexes.
I wish this one were true. Maybe I could have reacted fast enough to grab any part of my life. Maybe I could have grabbed an extinguisher and put out the fire. Instead, I called 911 and rushed outside to watch my life burn before my eyes.
It seems like every step in a new direction leads me walking into a wall.
“Mr. Decoure,” the psychiatrist says. “I’m ready to see you now.”
I walk into the room and lie on the couch. It’s my first visit. The psychiatrist sits in the chair facing me. The camera in the corner close to the ceiling is pointed at the couch.
I ask what the camera is for.
Off camera, the psychiatrist says, “It’s so I can review our session.”
“Ok, so Mr. Decoure . . .” She ruffles through her papers. “Jordan. Correct?
Alright, so Jordan, what seems to be the problem.”
I tell her I’ve stopped having dreams
“And how long has this been happening?”
I tell her since the fire.
“The fire?” she asks.
I say yes. The fire. I just finished my junior year of college and moved into an apartment. It was my first night on my own, away from my parents. I had everything packed in one room. Everything was still in boxes when the fire started. My pictures, my writing notebooks, my computer—they were all in those boxes. Everything I had done in my life was burnt in that fire.
“And how did this fire make you feel?”
I say, pretty hot around the collar. The moon’s not the only thing made of cheese.
Off camera, the psychiatrist asks, “How long ago was the fire?”
I tell her it happened a week after my twenty-first birthday. About a year ago.
“What was your last dream about?”
I tell, look at how this looks. I tell her that in the dream, I’m in a pretty plain, generic-looking house. For some reason, I’m peeing on everything. I’m peeing on the carpets, the curtains, the counters; anything that isn’t peed on, I pee on. Someone walks in and asks if I heard anyone peeing. Of course, I have to say no. Then I wake up.
“What do you think this dream means?” the psychiatrist asks.
I tell her I know what Freud would say. He would say it means I have repressed feelings from an unfulfilled childhood and by pissing everywhere, it fulfills those unfulfillments.
I know Jung would say I'm tapping into an ancestral habit of marking my territory.
As for me, I don’t know what it means.
“It’s not that you can’t dream, Mr. Decoure,” she says. “It’s that you don’t dream.”
I think to Freud.
All I know is I’m twenty-two, and I’m living at home again. I’m not returning to college for my senior year, and I lost my past and my future to a fire
Maybe I’ll run away to Rhode Island, but isn’t running away at twenty-two just called growing up?
On camera, I ask, “Can I get a tape of this when we’re done?”
Off camera, the psychiatrist just nods her head.



And also, here's a banner I made. I had a website with my friend that was called Co-op Consensus. Basically we reviewed co-op games and how the co-op worked within them. Our first major feature story was supposed to be about the Halo Trilogy and how it has evolved as a game. I spent hours writing it, making banners for it and all that good junk. The day my friend told me he would have his half written, he sent me a message saying he didn't want to do the site anymore because it was a lot of work. So all my hard work was for nothing. I'm still proud of my banner though and wanted to put it on display, so here it is:
http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e224/Mattl27398/HaloEvolution.jpg

[spike4536]

Hey, sorry for posting so much but this is the last one, i swear.
I just thought i'd post a link to my photobucket account so you could see some other stuff i've made if you wanted to.
http://s74.photobucket.com/albums/i258/Spike4536/

[kylerg]

Shiz, where did my gf's tablet pen go..CATS!

Now I have to win..my gf wants $30+ for the pen the cats ate. :bomb:

.
.
.
.
.
.

Woke up at like 2am and felt like re-doing my original idea:

http://img43.imageshack.us/img43/5558/alsm.jpg

[rathian101]

http://img32.imageshack.us/img32/1709/image001xnr.th.jpg i kinda sped through this im taking finals and got hardly anytime thoughhttp://img32.imageshack.us/img32/7703/image001fry.th.jpg (http://img32.imageshack.us/my.php?image=image001fry.jpg) here it is bigger

[Mr_hockey66]

Alright, So i had an idea for another "Smurf Movie" and figured i'd post it here. I don't know why i thought of this.:-s
But here's the outcome.

http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i258/Spike4536/CAG%20Pics/SMURFSONAPLANE.jpg



Im tired of these mother fing smurfs on dis mother fning plane!

[SmurfALMIGHTY]

Winner was ultimately Kylerg which his immaculate Smurf "ALMIGHTY" drawing definitely made me LOL. Not to mention his 2nd entry made me laugh pretty hard as well. Great job and thanks, for all who entered.

Runners up:
Spike4536(Simple yet hit a sweet spot on me :) )
SolidRevolver

When you get a chance Kyle please pm me for your code.

[kylerg]

Thanks for the contest SmurfALMIGHTY.

[Solidrevolver89]

sweet 3rd place not bad