View Full Version : The Wal-Mart Story
Pure Apathy
08-05-2005, 03:47 AM
:rofl:
http://www.mentallyincontinent.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=120
crazytalkx
08-05-2005, 04:01 AM
:rofl:
http://www.mentallyincontinent.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=120
Long read but worth it! :applause: Mad kudos to the guy
Graystone
08-05-2005, 04:06 AM
That is so fucking awesome. I would of love to been there to see that.
What's funny to me I am about to start at wal-mart next thursday or so. and all of this is the same for me.
"I heard about the position from a friend of mine who. He explained that the electronics department needed a full time employee"
"Believe it or not, the interview process for Wal-Mart was pretty goddamned thorough, especially considering the job paid 6 dollars an hour and entailed wearing a blue schmock, cleaning up after dullards"
alonzomourning23
08-05-2005, 04:06 AM
Don't buy it. Now way porno stayed on the tv for over an hour, and I don't understand how he could do all that when they knew he was fired. It seems like he was doing things only employees would do, and the area should have been staffed by someone.
Troopa
08-05-2005, 04:30 AM
I used to work for Wal-Mart, so I can appreciate how truly awesome that story is.
Saucy Jack
08-05-2005, 04:38 AM
True or not, that was a funny story. :)
cgpwns
08-05-2005, 10:49 AM
After I was relieved from my first job at the old theater due to medical reasons (the theater was so old it has giant roaches and leaks in the walls, smelly auditoriums, etc.) I kept my uniform. Which came in handy when I transferred over to the new stadium style theater.
Maybe this guy kept his uniform, but probably not since he said he blended in.
Prepster
08-05-2005, 11:10 AM
rofl, that was great, i would love to see that happen at 1 of the Walmarts by my house
Nothing like german scat movies to horrify hundreds of eager customers. :lol:
SIUfan
08-05-2005, 03:22 PM
omg that's the fucking funniest things i have ever heard. goo job man. i work at wal mart right now, so i think it's even funnier. and yes, "zo" i do believe somthing like this could happen.as an employee, you learn the cool "secrets of the trade." plus it was late at night/early morning when he did it. also, wal mart is bad about hiring someone in a quick fashion after someone is let go or quits. great story!
el bobo
08-05-2005, 05:03 PM
:rofl: Awesome story!
mcgavin27
08-05-2005, 05:15 PM
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
one of the funniest things i have read this year.
munch
08-05-2005, 05:36 PM
:rofl:
great story. worth the long read.
jaykrue
08-05-2005, 07:32 PM
:applause::lol::lol:
RiCeBo1
08-05-2005, 07:41 PM
Damn that is LONG!!
PKRipp3r
08-05-2005, 09:49 PM
this is going to find it's way into a film script
at least i hope it does
i'm guessing either farrelly bros or matt & trey
Pure Apathy
08-05-2005, 10:55 PM
Damn that is LONG!!
It's worth it though :lol:
b0bx13
08-06-2005, 01:17 AM
That man is my hero :applause:
That was quite an entertaining and well written story.
suko_32
08-06-2005, 01:32 AM
Holy crap!
crickett003
08-06-2005, 01:52 AM
Sorry, there's at least one hole in the story. The phone jacks in a wal-mart are not the typical standard jacks that you can just plug any phone into (unless it's just different in my store- which I doubt).
Very funny read, though ;)
Guess I could make a store-to-store call & verify the story.
Darkside Hazuki
08-06-2005, 02:13 AM
Hilarious. Someone call that store and confirm this.
alonzomourning23
08-06-2005, 03:08 AM
omg that's the fucking funniest things i have ever heard. goo job man. i work at wal mart right now, so i think it's even funnier. and yes, "zo" i do believe somthing like this could happen.as an employee, you learn the cool "secrets of the trade." plus it was late at night/early morning when he did it. also, wal mart is bad about hiring someone in a quick fashion after someone is let go or quits. great story!
I don't shop at walmart and luckily, in my area, walmart isn't a big deal and is just a store people go to for cheap things, so I have no idea how well staffed it is. Though, I'm not necessarilly saying whole thing is false. The sneaking in bit isn't that far fetched, but I just don't believe that the porno was on for that long, and especially that type. I would be suprised if the porno bit was real, and absolutely shocked if it stayed on for any real length of time.
I don't shop at walmart and luckily, in my area, walmart isn't a big deal and is just a store people go to for cheap things, so I have no idea how well staffed it is.
I don't think there is even a Wal-Mart in NYC.
I went to one for the first time last summer while I was in Missouri
Trakan
08-06-2005, 03:22 AM
It was alright, I didn't think it was hilarious though. Well thought out.
alonzomourning23
08-06-2005, 03:47 AM
I don't think there is even a Wal-Mart in NYC.
I went to one for the first time last summer while I was in Missouri
Boston also has none, and neither do any neighboring cities. You need to get out of the city and into the suburbs to find them. Looking at their website, the closest one to boston is over 8 miles away, and that's a longer drive than it looks given MA's indirect road systems (I live around 13 miles away, but it takes about a half hour to reach boston). Also checked nyc, 6 miles away if you drive in NJ, 13 miles if you want to stay in new york.
I remember about 8 years ago they put on in the neighboring town (was about a 15 minute drive), it was a big deal at first, but target is easily more popular among people who have a choice (ie. don't need to save every penny). Walmart is just like kmart here, only bigger.
SIUfan
08-18-2005, 10:58 PM
I don't think there is even a Wal-Mart in NYC.
I went to one for the first time last summer while I was in Missouri
thats nuts man, how old are you? sorry, it's just hard fro me to imagine someone going there whole life without going to wal mart.
Eh, it wasn't that funny. For those that want the abridged version:
This guy got a graveyard shift job at the Wal-Mart electronic's department. The other loser employees pranked him for months. Then his inventory reports kept coming up with one less than they were supposed to. The guy was fired and he found out eventually it was his supervisor. Although he already admitted opening up packages at a freight job, which he got fired from, and rifling through the contents, because that's what insurance pays for, so he doesn't really sound like a model employee...
Time to plot the not-so unbelievably clever revenge! On Black Friday at 12:00 AM (Which I thought was strange because our 24 hr Wal-Mart never opens until 5 AM on Black Friday. Anyways...) No one was around so he plugged in a cordless phone to the pager system/phone, and charged the handset in another department. Then setup scat pornos on the VCR, DirectTV, DVD, and locked the cabinets taking the only key and remotes.
Fast forward to Black Friday 11:00 AM. Guy goes to the spot where the phone was charging, patches it into the PA system, and tells everyone computers are 70% off. A mob rushes to electronics, the guy starts the pornos with the remotes, and hilarity ensues. Oh noes! No one can shut them off. Wal-Mart has to sell computers for 70% off the price because someone highjacked the PA (that part made no sense either - I can't imagine them ever honoring this) Wal-Mart 0, Smart Guy 1.
Oh teh ha-has
Pure Apathy
08-19-2005, 12:14 AM
Sorry, there's at least one hole in the story. The phone jacks in a wal-mart are not the typical standard jacks that you can just plug any phone into (unless it's just different in my store- which I doubt).
Very funny read, though ;)
Guess I could make a store-to-store call & verify the story.
I asked my assistant manager about this a few weeks ago because I thought all phone lines were cat5, and he said there are some lines in the building that are regular phone lines.