View Full Version : controling relationships
charcoalfeather
08-10-2005, 04:41 PM
I really wanted to get a tattoo but my boyfriend said he would break up with me if i did and we have been dating for almost 4 years now. He also said he would break up with me if i started smoking or dye my hair. Is this reasonable or not??
evilmregg
08-10-2005, 04:43 PM
I really wanted to get a tattoo but my boyfriend said he would break up with me if i did and we have been dating for almost 4 years now. He also said he would break up with me if i started smoking or dye my hair. Is this reasonable or not??
Dump the fucker. If he doesn't love you for who you are, find someone who does. It's just that easy.
ryanbph
08-10-2005, 04:43 PM
dump his ass, its your life and if you want it then get it.
evilmax17
08-10-2005, 04:44 PM
I really wanted to get a tattoo but my boyfriend said he would break up with me if i did and we have been dating for almost 4 years now. He also said he would break up with me if i started smoking or dye my hair. Is this reasonable or not??
If the tatoo was on your lower back above your ass, then yes.
charcoalfeather
08-10-2005, 04:46 PM
no i wont break up with him i just wanted support for our fight because i know that i am right to be mad at him for this and he just doesnt see it. and on top of him being upset, he is going to be even more mad that i posted it on this site because he also posts here.
mtxbass1
08-10-2005, 04:47 PM
think really hard about the tattoo. My GF has one and it seemed like a good idea at the time, but she hates it now.
GuilewasNK
08-10-2005, 04:47 PM
Have you ever said anything similar to him about breaking up if he does something you don't want?
AngellicLulu
08-10-2005, 04:47 PM
I really wanted to get a tattoo but my boyfriend said he would break up with me if i did and we have been dating for almost 4 years now. He also said he would break up with me if i started smoking or dye my hair. Is this reasonable or not??
Hmm that seems slightly unreasonable.
If he cares about you, he should allow you to do something you really want to do. Try talking to him rationally about it. Tell him to put aside the breakup reasons and explain why he doesn't want you to do this. Then you can explain why you want to and also point out, even though he's your boyfriend he doesn't own you.
4 years is a long time, just sit down and discuss. If there's still a conflict of interest, then get it and then see what happens.
evilmregg
08-10-2005, 04:48 PM
no i wont break up with him i just wanted support for our fight because i know that i am right to be mad at him for this and he just doesnt see it. and on top of him being upset, he is going to be even more mad that i posted it on this site because he also posts here.
Well, then enjoy your dysfunctional relationship.
charcoalfeather
08-10-2005, 04:50 PM
Have you ever said anything similar to him about breaking up if he does something you don't want?
yes i have but nothing as silly as to dye my hair. I threatened to break up with him if he ever started to smoke pot or the time when he stopped talking to me because of EQ.
You might want to find out about what the root of his spazzery is. For instance, various religions have rules pertaining to the body being sacred (hence no graffito-tagging or smoking, though the hair dye one is new to me.) If he's this serious about small stuff like what you're talking about, who knows what else he expects of you down the line?
maxflight
08-10-2005, 04:51 PM
you're either about to go to college or have already started college. you're at a point in your life where you as a person might change. that change might not be what you're bf is looking for. in any case, don't force anything and let things come the way they do. everything will fall into place.
charcoalfeather
08-10-2005, 04:53 PM
You might want to find out about what the root of his spazzery is. For instance, various religions have rules pertaining to the body being sacred (hence no graffito-tagging or smoking, though the hair dye one is new to me.) If he's this serious about small stuff like what you're talking about, who knows what else he expects of you down the line?
haha well we are both "catholic" so that is out of the question.
I think it is because he likes the whole innocent thing and i think that is just silly.
like one time i drank and he completely flipped out on me. It is as if it is ok for him to do it but he wants to keep me in the closet for the rest of my life
AngellicLulu
08-10-2005, 04:53 PM
yes i have but nothing as silly as to dye my hair. I threatened to break up with him if he ever started to smoke pot or the time when he stopped talking to me because of EQ.
Again, you need to hash it out with cooled tempers. Discuss things logically. You might want a third-party to moderate the conversation, ya know like make sure only one of you is talking at a time.
JimmieMac
08-10-2005, 04:56 PM
What we really need to help get a better understanding of the whole situation is for you to post a pic of the two of you. We need to see who the better looking person is, that's the one that needs to obey the other.
Quillion
08-10-2005, 04:56 PM
think really hard about the tattoo. My GF has one and it seemed like a good idea at the time, but she hates it now.
Second'd
I'm guessing you're pretty young, so I won't talk about futures. But I can definitely understand the whole smoking issue. I've had a long standing rule to never get involved with a smoker. It's disgusting.
Remember, tattoos are forever, I would ask you to rethink it, not for him, but for yourself. A lower back tattoo can prevent you from getting an epidural during birth. Most tattoos will stretch and fade as you age. Think of how you'll look at 40 years old with three kids and a massive tattoo.
Third, dyeing your hair. He's probably just afraid you'll look different. I say if you want to do that, do it. There aren't any real consequences. If he can't roll with a hair color change, definitely dump him. He's got some life lessons to learn.
AngellicLulu
08-10-2005, 04:56 PM
haha well we are both "catholic" so that is out of the question.
I think it is because he likes the whole innocent thing and i think that is just silly.
like one time i drank and he completely flipped out on me. It is as if it is ok for him to do it but he wants to keep me in the closet for the rest of my life
Hm, that is a little controlling, but maybe he's just tryong to protect you. You're a big girl, now, though. You can make your own decisions, whether they are right or wrong. You will never be your own person if you can't make your own choices and your own mistakes.
Javery
08-10-2005, 04:58 PM
I really wanted to get a tattoo but my boyfriend said he would break up with me if i did and we have been dating for almost 4 years now. He also said he would break up with me if i started smoking or dye my hair. Is this reasonable or not??
This is completely unreasonable. Are you not an individual? Time to buy this tool a one way ticket to Dumpsville.
JimmieMac
08-10-2005, 04:58 PM
Also, since you'll be posting pics and all, if you could go ahead and take a pic of yourself, sitting topless on the toilet, sucking on a banana with "Jimmie" written on one titty and "Mac" written on the other, in red lipstick, that would be great too.
Thanks in advance.
charcoalfeather
08-10-2005, 04:59 PM
AH i didnt mention this but i really dont want a tattoo and i would never start smoking. It is just the fact that he refuses to let me if i wanted to and that bothers me... do you understand? i mean there are many other things those were just examples
Also, since you'll be posting pics and all, if you could go ahead and take a pic of yourself, sitting topless on the toilet, sucking on a banana with "Jimmie" written on one titty and "Mac" written on the other, in red lipstick, that would be great too.
Thanks in advance.
Hey! Hey! No! Not cool man! Food doesn't go into the bathroom!
evilmax17
08-10-2005, 05:03 PM
AH i didnt mention this but i really dont want a tattoo and i would never start smoking. It is just the fact that he refuses to let me if i wanted to and that bothers me... do you understand? i mean there are many other things those were just examples
A relationship is (or should be) 50-50, all the way down the line. You shouldn't be able to do whatever you want, and neither should he. I don't think it's unreasonable for him to not want you getting a tattoo, and if a tattoo is more important to you than him, then the relationship is already over.
It sounds like you've been together for too long, but if you want to stay together, work out some compromises.
AngellicLulu
08-10-2005, 05:04 PM
AH i didnt mention this but i really dont want a tattoo and i would never start smoking. It is just the fact that he refuses to let me if i wanted to and that bothers me... do you understand? i mean there are many other things those were just examples
Ah I see. Testing boundries. Look those are totally reasonable requests, except smoking (the health effects and icky kissing breath understood). Dyeing your hair, getting a tatoo, these are things you don't need permission to do. It's your hair, it's your body. Just be reasonable. If you stay in a relationship where you and your partner are always restricting the other, you'll be miserable. It might be time for you to be on your own for awhile, to discover who you are without him.
Quillion
08-10-2005, 05:04 PM
AH i didnt mention this but i really dont want a tattoo and i would never start smoking. It is just the fact that he refuses to let me if i wanted to and that bothers me... do you understand? i mean there are many other things those were just examples
So you claimed you wanted a tattoo and that you wanted to smoke so that he would say "don't do that" and threaten to dump you? Then posted on here about how unreasonable he is?
Skank.
Javery
08-10-2005, 05:05 PM
AH i didnt mention this but i really dont want a tattoo and i would never start smoking. It is just the fact that he refuses to let me if i wanted to and that bothers me... do you understand? i mean there are many other things those were just examples
You are not getting it. If you want to do something - whatever it is - and your significant other threatens to break up with you over it then he/she is a douche and you should get as far away as you can. After you snap that pic of you on the toilet with the banana and post it here make sure your boyfriend sees it - that will really piss him off.
ryanbph
08-10-2005, 05:06 PM
Also, since you'll be posting pics and all, if you could go ahead and take a pic of yourself, sitting topless on the toilet, sucking on a banana with "Jimmie" written on one titty and "Mac" written on the other, in red lipstick, that would be great too.
Thanks in advance.
:applause:
evilmax17
08-10-2005, 05:07 PM
You are not getting it. If you want to do something - whatever it is - and your significant other threatens to break up with you over it then he/she is a douche and you should get as far away as you can.
"I want to go sleep with these 3 other guys."
"OK hunny, you should be able to do whatever you want, and I'm a douche for not wanting you to do that."
Nice philosophy.
So you claimed you wanted a tattoo and that you wanted to smoke so that he would say "don't do that" and threaten to dump you? Then posted on here about how unreasonable he is?
Skank.
Because god forbid people find out what kind of person their significant other is at some point.
Javery
08-10-2005, 05:08 PM
A relationship is (or should be) 50-50, all the way down the line. You shouldn't be able to do whatever you want, and neither should he. I don't think it's unreasonable for him to not want you getting a tattoo, and if a tattoo is more important to you than him, then the relationship is already over.
It sounds like you've been together for too long, but if you want to stay together, work out some compromises.
I totally disagree. A relationship should be 90-10 in each person's favor. Who wants half of the shit they do in life to be a compromise? If it's not 90-10 in your favor then you just aren't compatible with each other and should end it now before you waste any more time. Compromise is another way of saying both people are losers.
"I want to go sleep with these 3 other guys."
"OK hunny, you should be able to do whatever you want, and I'm a douche for not wanting you to do that."
Nice philosophy.
Dying hair/tattoo = sleeping with 3 other men?
Javery
08-10-2005, 05:11 PM
"I want to go sleep with these 3 other guys."
"OK hunny, you should be able to do whatever you want, and I'm a douche for not wanting you to do that."
Nice philosophy.
um, yeah - that's exactly right. If she really wants to sleep with 50 other guys and her boyfriend isn't OK with it then the relationship is over (although it might not mean the guy is a douche). I don't understand people who are in relationships where they can't do what they want or feel like they need to ask permission to do shit.
charcoalfeather
08-10-2005, 05:11 PM
i was right he was completely pissed that i posted this on here. wonderful.... just more stuff to fight about
AngellicLulu
08-10-2005, 05:14 PM
i was right he was completely pissed that i posted this on here. wonderful.... just more stuff to fight about
you 2 need to sit down with a third party to mediate the conversation. A neutral third-party mind you. Work it out, or move on.
evilmax17
08-10-2005, 05:14 PM
um, yeah - that's exactly right. If she really wants to sleep with 50 other guys and her boyfriend isn't OK with it then the relationship is over (although it might not mean the guy is a douche). I don't understand people who are in relationships where they can't do what they want or feel like they need to ask permission to do shit.
Well that's really the whole point. If you're in a relationship where you would frequently WANT to do something that the other person is COMPLETELY against, then the relationship is over (regardless of whose fault it is). That's really what it boils down to.
The whole thing is, if you really cared about eachother, then you wouldn't even WANT to do anything to hurt the other in the first place. If you knew that your boyfriend really didn't like tattoos, then why would you even bring it up?
Sabotage. It's over.
xzafixz
08-10-2005, 05:14 PM
um, yeah - that's exactly right. If she really wants to sleep with 50 other guys and her boyfriend isn't OK with it then the relationship is over (although it might not mean the guy is a douche). I don't understand people who are in relationships where they can't do what they want or feel like they need to ask permission to do shit.
You have a lot to learn.
Quillion
08-10-2005, 05:16 PM
Well, if he's already pissed, then take JimmieMac's banana photo and upload it.
Oh, and for me if you would, I'd like you to take one with you drinking a big glass of lemonade with "fanskad's urine" written on it. Be topless for that one too.
(It would be better if it was actually urine.)
charcoalfeather
08-10-2005, 05:17 PM
You have a lot to learn.
well you can talk to him if you want because this is my wonderful boyfriend xzafixz
AngellicLulu
08-10-2005, 05:19 PM
well you can talk to him if you want because this is my wonderful boyfriend xzafixz
ah my theory confirmed. You two should discuss this in person with another person. It's really gonna get messy here.
Quillion
08-10-2005, 05:21 PM
well you can talk to him if you want because this is my wonderful boyfriend xzafixz
Oh yay. Another Kayden/GG thread. :roll:
Beana Blasta
08-10-2005, 05:22 PM
girls that smoke suck
charcoalfeather
08-10-2005, 05:22 PM
ah my theory confirmed. You two should discuss this in person with another person. It's really gonna get messy here.
thanksi shall try
AngellicLulu
08-10-2005, 05:23 PM
thanksi shall try
listen the neutral third party really helps. It keeps emotions in check. You do not want an emotional argument. It's best to be logical and rational when discussing these sorts of things.
Javery
08-10-2005, 05:27 PM
You have a lot to learn.
I'd love to hear what, exactly, I have to learn. I'll admit I don't know everything about relationships (who does?) but I certainly don't have a problem with mine and I couldn't be happier. What I do know is that if you spend 1/2 of your life asking permission and making compromises then you are going to be miserable 100% of the time. The goal is to find someone you are compatible with - I've found that you should minimize compromising to about 10% of the time or less and only on the minor stuff in order to have a healthy relationship for both people.
punqsux
08-10-2005, 05:28 PM
I really wanted to get a tattoo but my boyfriend said he would break up with me if i did and we have been dating for almost 4 years now. He also said he would break up with me if i started smoking or dye my hair. Is this reasonable or not??
i havent read anything past this post, so if what im sayings been said im sorry.
hes being totally unreasonable, if he cant accept you for who you are, youre better off getting rid of him. i understand that a certin attachment exists after a 4 year relationship, but you'd be better off without him if he's saying shit like that.
neither partner in any relationship has the right to control the other the way he's trying to.
now to read the rest of the topic and prolly get in some arguments ^^
xzafixz
08-10-2005, 05:29 PM
I'd love to hear what, exactly, I have to learn. I'll admit I don't know everything about relationships (who does?) but I certainly don't have a problem with mine and I couldn't be happier. What I do know is that if you spend 1/2 of your life asking permission and making compromises then you are going to be miserable 100% of the time. The goal is to find someone you are compatible with - I've found that you should minimize compromising to about 10% of the time or less and only on the minor stuff in order to have a healthy relationship for both people.
If you ever plan on getting married more than 10% compromise will be needed for a marriage that doesn't end in divorce.
punqsux
08-10-2005, 05:31 PM
no i wont break up with him i just wanted support for our fight because i know that i am right to be mad at him for this and he just doesnt see it. and on top of him being upset, he is going to be even more mad that i posted it on this site because he also posts here.
support for your fight, thats pretty juvinile.
AngellicLulu
08-10-2005, 05:34 PM
If you ever plan on getting married more than 10% compromise will be needed for a marriage that doesn't end in divorce.
It's not compromise when you tell your significant other you'll break up with them if they do such and such.
xzafixz
08-10-2005, 05:36 PM
It's not compromise when you tell your significant other you'll break up with them if they do such and such.
But this was also blown way out of proportion, things are said when people are mad that isn't true, or wasn't meant in the way it comes out to seem. You seem reasonable enough to understand that. This whole thing was blown so out of proportion.
charcoalfeather
08-10-2005, 05:36 PM
support for your fight, thats pretty juvinile.
I AM 18! he is 20. of course we are both imature. i just wanted to know that i had a justification to be upset or worried. that is all... support was the wrong word to use for that i am sorry
punqsux
08-10-2005, 05:36 PM
evilmax, youre being totally unreasonable and distorting statements to extremes.
final verdict: dump him, hes too controlling.
Javery
08-10-2005, 05:37 PM
If you ever plan on getting married more than 10% compromise will be needed for a marriage that doesn't end in divorce.
Ha! WRONG. I've been married for 6 awesome years to the coolest girl in the world. It is funny to get advice on what makes a marriage work from someone who isn't married. It's not like it was easy finding the right person and I had my share of controlling girlfriends (i.e angry bitches) but each relationship made me realize what I wanted more and more until I found Ms. Right. Sure there have been some things I've had to compromise on but I'd say 90% of the time we are totally on the same page and moving in the same direction rather than butting heads. You should try it sometime - I promise it's way better than this 50/50 bullshit. :D
AngellicLulu
08-10-2005, 05:38 PM
But this was also blown way out of proportion, things are said when people are mad that isn't true, or wasn't meant in the way it comes out to seem. You seem reasonable enough to understand that. This whole thing was blown so out of proportion.
I had a feeling this was the case. As I said things would be better discussed in person with a neutral 3rd-party so things are talked about rationally and not blown-up to the proportion it already has gotten.
charcoalfeather
08-10-2005, 05:39 PM
no no i wont break up with him. For all the times we fight, there is still more love there to patch it up. i just wanted to see that if he was acting too extreme and if i could justify it at all. this has helped but i wont break up with him becuase i know how to work at relationships and something as silly as this is not worth losing 4 years over
vherub
08-10-2005, 05:39 PM
it is common for girls and guys to test one another, usually early on in a relationship, often without even realizing it. A part of you wants to know how/if the other person will react. After 4 years, it seems this threatening on both your parts may be a frustration of something larger, or it culd just be how your relationship has developed. Sometimes people get angry for little to no reason, you posting on here is just venting. On the flipside, your epxosing something private and personal in a public space with almost complete strangers. That could be upsetting, it could also be no big deal. Is it controlling to forbid someone from doing something? There is no clear answer, especially since he probably does not see it as controlling. Maybe he sees it as protecting, or more likely your spoking/tattoo/dying hair would be an attack on him. It makes no sense, but on the other hand, does make sense.
At the end of the day, these are not terribly large or destructive issues unless they are standing in place of other things that are more bothersome. But because in many ways they are so seemingly insignificant and it is very easy in any relationship to attach more value to something than it deserves, that baggage can be a prolonged problem that avoids a solution. The only thing you can do is talk things through, and hopefully you will realize what is really upsetting, and what is just a smokescreen, or button you can push to incite the other.
mykevermin
08-10-2005, 05:43 PM
Fuck y'all.
My wife and I fight over whose turn it is to go TO the tattoo parlor!
What, are you gonna look like Racquel Welch when you're older? Of course not, you're going to be ugly and old like the rest of us, so go get some ink.
Keep in mind that, if it is a dolphin, he should break up with you. ;)
IKIK
AngellicLulu
08-10-2005, 05:44 PM
no no i wont break up with him. For all the times we fight, there is still more love there to patch it up. i just wanted to see that if he was acting too extreme and if i could justify it at all. this has helped but i wont break up with him becuase i know how to work at relationships and something as silly as this is not worth losing 4 years over
Even I at times I complain. I mean I think my friends in the OTT all remember me ranting about my fiancee not getting me the food I wanted at the grocery store. Sometimes you do need to discuss things and it's good to get other opinions, but now is a time to reconcile and learn from each other. You've been with him for 4 years, you could be feeling like you are not separate from him. You seem to be trying to assert yourself as an individual and this happens in long-term relationships. Usually the cure for this is a little break. If you don't want to do that, talk to him about it.
Hahahaha, this is the dumbest thread I have ever seen. Why is this Oprah shit spilling onto CAG?
JimmieMac
08-10-2005, 05:49 PM
So are you going to show us which one of you is the ugly one or are we just going to keep thinking it's you?
charcoalfeather
08-10-2005, 05:52 PM
it is for the mere fact that i can not that i will. My relationship with my boyfriend is very controlling on both sides but sometimes we both get caught up into it and this can hurt the relationship a lot like it did today.
We both love eachother very much and that is why we try to control because we dont want to see the other person hurt or whatever the case may be.
No matter what i love him and sometimes i want to be able to be an indivdual but i also want to be in a relationship. i believe there is a nice middle ground but i guess we are just not there yet.
Thanks Angelliclulu for the help.
el bobo
08-10-2005, 06:03 PM
I really wanted to get a tattoo but my boyfriend said he would break up with me if i did and we have been dating for almost 4 years now. He also said he would break up with me if i started smoking or dye my hair. Is this reasonable or not??
I can understand why he doesn't want you smoking and maybe the tattoo if it's uber large. Whatever though, it's your life you choose.
TheBlueWizard
08-10-2005, 06:05 PM
A relationship is (or should be) 50-50, all the way down the line. You shouldn't be able to do whatever you want, and neither should he. I don't think it's unreasonable for him to not want you getting a tattoo, and if a tattoo is more important to you than him, then the relationship is already over.
It sounds like you've been together for too long, but if you want to stay together, work out some compromises.
Actually, a relationship should be 100-100 all of the time.
If you are all giving 50-50, what happens when one of you slip? Then you get 40-50 and that's only 90, meaning you have problems. If you are giving 100-100, and one slips, you are still "meeting in the middle" or at least overlapping.
This is really just semantics, but give it some thought. It will make a difference.
TBW
Scahom1
08-10-2005, 06:12 PM
I don't know...if you guys have been going out for 4 years but all it takes is for you to do is get a tatoo or start smoking to end it all, then that doesn't sound like a very strong relationship.
TheBlueWizard
08-10-2005, 06:18 PM
it is for the mere fact that i can not that i will. My relationship with my boyfriend is very controlling on both sides but sometimes we both get caught up into it and this can hurt the relationship a lot like it did today.
We both love eachother very much and that is why we try to control because we dont want to see the other person hurt or whatever the case may be.
No matter what i love him and sometimes i want to be able to be an indivdual but i also want to be in a relationship. i believe there is a nice middle ground but i guess we are just not there yet.
Thanks Angelliclulu for the help.
Sorry, but if you really truly loved each other, then you wouldn't feel the need to control each other. If you really truly loved each other, you would let each other try new things and be supportive as you are still young and its a big world.
Since you are 18 and 20, consider this. This relationship will likely not last. One of you will likely go to college and leave the young high school scene and grow up. This is very difficult to do together. I'm not saying dump his ass right now, but consider that the likelyhood of it lasting is small.
Also, if you are only 18 and have been with this guy since you were 14, you might do well to take some time apart. Find out what you are missing, and then, if its still right later on, get back together. Being in a serious relationship all this time while you are young is not healthy. Just consider the possibility.
TBW
PS Since you are a girl and in to video games, you will NEVER have to look to far for a guy. There are plenty of guys who would be really into you.
PPS I agree with you on the tattoo and hair dye, but smoking sucks. At that age, I would probably have dumped you too, if you started smoking. I have no interest in kissing an ashtray.
Abdullah2
08-10-2005, 06:19 PM
I don't know...if you guys have been going out for 4 years but all it takes is for you to do is get a tatoo or start smoking to end it all, then that doesn't sound like a very strong relationship.
like the bf said, he didn't exactly say/mean it that way at the time. gfs have a tendency to make things sound worse than they are, i would get mad at my gf too if she made herself seem helpless and vulnerable to a crowd with alot of horny teens like this
Ledhed
08-10-2005, 06:20 PM
I dated a girl for about 4 years all through high school. One day, out of nowhere (at the ripe old bat-shit-crazy age of 18 as well), she decided she wanted simliar things to what you've been describing. Now, I'm all for freedom of expression and what-not, but things like smoking and tattoos are the kind of things that alot of people base their interest in another on. So, I'm not surprised you got that kind of reaction from him, since some of his feelings for you were undoubtedly rooted in the fact that you weren't interested in that stuff before.
Yes, you're 18, you want to go wild and do all that shit that your parents said you couldn't. Give it a while. It'll wear off, and you'll regret any irreversible things you've done to yourself later down the line. Give it a couple of years, and if you still want to get a tattoo, go for it. But this is a bad age to decide on something so permanent if you ask me.
So, is it fair for your boyfriend to be angry? A little. Is the ball still in your court regarding the next step? Yep. So, it's your call. His feelings about this stuff aren't going to change anytime soon. Just like yourself, give him a couple of years to see that he can't try to dictate a person in that way. But you shouldn't be surprised that he's reacted in this way.
kittie
08-10-2005, 06:32 PM
Meh, kids.
Sure, you have the right to make any decision you want.
And your significant other has the right to make the decision to dump you if they don't like what you're doing.
Considering who I am, this has happened many times... and I don't get angry about it. I just find someone who likes the real me.
Choose your decision wisely. Choose whatever makes you happy.
Ugamer_X
08-10-2005, 06:34 PM
*Foot tapping on ground repeatedly*
These pictures aren't gonna post themselves.
JimmieMac
08-10-2005, 06:36 PM
I mean if you aint got red lipstick and you don't have the balls to tell me, I understand, it can be what ever color you want, I was just using red as a jump off.
charcoalfeather
08-10-2005, 06:38 PM
*Foot tapping on ground repeatedly*
These pictures aren't gonna post themselves.
how about if one of you send me a digital camera then i will take all the pictures you want
JimmieMac
08-10-2005, 06:46 PM
how about if one of you send me a digital camera then i will take all the pictures you want
Go talk to the suckers in the OTT, those kids would send you a camera in a heartbeat but you might have to pretend you like anime and shitty inidie films, but hey, in the end, free camera.
charcoalfeather
08-10-2005, 06:48 PM
..... but i do like anime and shitty indie films with the exception of elephant which is the worst movie ever created
JimmieMac
08-10-2005, 06:51 PM
..... but i do like anime and shitty indie films with the exception of elephant which is the worst movie ever created
Then quit wasting time here, get over there. NOW. Get those geeks to mail you some shit! Ask the other resident whores, they get free shit all the time!
charcoalfeather
08-10-2005, 06:53 PM
(thanks for the offer but i will have to pass)
JimmieMac
08-10-2005, 06:58 PM
(thanks for the offer but i will have to pass)
I over sold it with one too many !'s didn't I. Meh, oh well, tomorrow is another day.
kittie
08-10-2005, 07:02 PM
Go talk to the suckers in the OTT, those kids would send you a camera in a heartbeat but you might have to pretend you like anime and shitty inidie films, but hey, in the end, free camera.
Send me a free camera.
JimmieMac
08-10-2005, 07:04 PM
Send me a free camera.
You're lost. You gotta go into the OTT and ask one of the kids.
kittie
08-10-2005, 07:25 PM
No pics for JMac.
Duo_Maxwell
08-10-2005, 07:32 PM
My freshman year in college I dated a girl I knew from high school that started smoking during the relationship and while it wasn't my favorite thing I personally wouldn't end a relationship for just that reason. Smoking is one of those things that really bothers certain people though, so that's not such an outlandish request (plus if I learned something watching anime all these years it's that haibane shouldn't smoke).
However, that aside, I think he's being a bit too controling as to end the whole relationship (like dying hair is not that big of a deal as you can change it back fairly easily). Maybe it's a silly thought but I think setting restrictions and sending rash ultimatiums (sp?) in relationships should be left to the time when you are 30 and married or something. But if he's serious about this, you have to decide if getting something like a tatoo is really what you want or if you'd rahter have him as a boyfriend because his opinions on the subject seem pretty set.
Trakan
08-10-2005, 07:35 PM
You have a lot to learn.
javeryh is married and has a kid. I'm guessing he knows a thing or two about relationships.
Aleryn
08-10-2005, 07:36 PM
I can understand not wanting to live with a smoker, but not allowing you to dye your hair!? THE HELL!? The tattoo thing is silly too, it's YOUR body, not his. If it bugs him THAT much and you want to compromise with him, get it in a concealable place... girls do that ALL the time.
Not even allowed to dye your hair though... that's some serious control issues on his part.
Apossum
08-10-2005, 07:54 PM
Jimmiemac is easily the MVP of this thread.
daschrier
08-10-2005, 08:05 PM
You may be 18 and 20 but you're acting like you're 14 and 16....not saying that to knock you, just saying that you're getting older and have to do what you want. Either way, I don't see you together by the time you're out of college anyway so do what you want :)
Now that that's said, he could be lashing out afraid that you're changing and won't want to be with him anymore. Tattoos...drinking, dying hair, while not all bad persay, it's a definite indicator that someone is going through some personal changes, and with that emotions and personalities change. It's just life, you learn, grow up, move on, and repeat...
jaykrue
08-10-2005, 08:06 PM
Only dealbreaker that I see here is smoking. Smoking is valid grounds for walking away from a decent relationship. I haven't hesitated to do it in the past and I shall do so in the future. Same thing as doing high end drugs (I don't mind the mary jane every once in a while) such as cocaine, etc. or the refusal to work out. To me the body is a sacred temple. I treat mine with respect and it's only fair that any girl I'm with does the same. Tattoos can be removed and hair grows back so they don't bother me at all. And tattoos are overrated now away. Almost every 20something college girl I've dated has a tattoo and it's usually on the small of the back and it's usually a butterfly, a tribal tat, or chinese characters. And why do they get these tats? The most common reason is, "Oh, I want to stand out as an individual and show that I'm not just another typical girl." Sigh. When that happens, I don't say a WORD because she is IN FACT like every other girl. :roll:
If you really wanna piss your boyfriend and be your own person, very few ppl do scarification (http://scarwars.net/artists/). These guys brand themselves using scalpels and/or burning tools. Much more permanent than tattoos. But, OTOH, your boyfriend does seem controlling if he can't handle a tat or dyed hair. It's fucking 2005 biatchez! Get over it! :roll:
adamsappel
08-10-2005, 08:15 PM
Your BF has every right to not want to date a tatooed, hair-dyed smoker. He has told you so. He fell in love with an unmarked, natural non-smoker. If you do these things, he can dump you without hesitation or guilt. He told you the consequences beforehand. Were it to happen afterwards and out of the blue, you could be justifiably upset. If you really want to do these things, and it bothers you that he is trying to stop you, dump him first.
daschrier
08-10-2005, 08:36 PM
Your BF has every right to not want to date a tatooed, hair-dyed smoker. He has told you so. He fell in love with an unmarked, natural non-smoker. If you do these things, he can dump you without hesitation or guilt. He told you the consequences beforehand. Were it to happen afterwards and out of the blue, you could be justifiably upset. If you really want to do these things, and it bothers you that he is trying to stop you, dump him first.
Yeah, that's somewhat true, everyone has certain likes and dislikes, and if he doesn't like tattooed women that's his choice...true it may be viewed as superficial, but hey, there's things that I don't like either, I tend not to like blonde women, and if my girl dyed her hair blonde, I may not dumb her, but I sure wouldn't be happy.
Tattoos look bad on women... for numerous reasons, really.
Probably the biggest factor is that women have terrible taste. In other words, they would select a very shitty tattoo off of the pre-drawn Greeting Card clip-art gallery wall of either a butterfly, a pixie, Warner Bros.' Tweety or a pixie Tweety with butterfly wings.
Also, tattoos on the small of a girl's back is trite and is getting lamer and lamer as I see it more and more. And let's keep in mind, my tastes are supreme and my opinions are actually considered fact by many scholars.
If my girlfriend got a shitty tattoo, I'd give her a tattoo of my hand in grip form around her arm.
However, I like tattoos on a girl's ankle. A little one or one that wraps around the ankle. They often taint whatever part is tattooed (like breasts or ass), so watch where you get it.
... by the way, that was my alter-ego talking.
Don't coincide this with some type of relationship control or a bizarre women's liberation or something equally as petty. If he has expressed that he doesn't want you to have a tattoo, then adhere to that request -- a relationship is a compromise, afterall... stop thinking about yourself. I'm sure if he said he was planning on dating another man and/or living the life of a pirate, you'd disapprove. In the end, if you were to get a tattoo without telling him (and you shouldn't do so), he's still love you... assuming he's not a cool-ass frat boy or something to that affect, of course.
If you really want to do some bra-burning liberation, I suggest this tattoo:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/38844000/jpg/_38844173_tyson203.jpg
He'll love you for eternity.