Once upon a time...

[yellowaznboy]

I get off the bus and start walking home. Next thing I know, something attacks me. I turn around and some small black ball-like object darts back and forth, aiming at my head. I didn't know what to make of it, so I start running for dear life.

While running, I put on my glasses (shut up!), and turn my head. I immediately duck as the black object swoops over my head. I eventually gather that it is a small black crow trying to poke me to death.

Anyway, I take out my books and start swinging at it, but miss it (subconsciously missing on purpose?) several times. So, I continue to run as fast as I could and finally duck into a corner store, casually walk up to the counter, pick up a bag of chips, pay, and walk out as if nothing had happened. I notice the bird is still there, except he's called over a friend. So, two crows chased me all the way home.

***
The next day, I get off the bus and the same bird is waiting for me. This time, I am prepared, and it doesn't touch me at all. Why are they tormenting me like this? It likely has to do with protecting unborn eggs or driving off competition for the lady birds.

Eventually, this problem is rectified, and all is well again.

*One million gazillion cookies to the person who guess how the problem was solved*

[Naughty_Insomniac]

umm, ok I'll bite...

You finally brushed your hair, so it wouldn't look like a nest anymore? :)

[defender]

lol

[st0neface]

You didn't wear the cologne you did the day before.

[jdpimp]

you stopped munching on bird fetuses for lunch?

[yellowaznboy]

So far, the responses are hilarious, but not the correct answers. :D

[CheapyD]

You were walking through their nesting area?

[Wshakspear]

You threw them the patato chips?

[grayghost81]

yellowaznboy, are your stories authentic in that the answer can be devised by reading them? Like an encyclopedia brown mystery? Or are they just stupid crap you are arbitrarily making up?

Either way my guess is you used your bat crow repellant spray out of your utility belt to keep the crows away.

[yellowaznboy]

You were walking through their nesting area?

That's my best guess; the male crows were fending off competition/intruders, I suppose.

yellowaznboy, are your stories authentic in that the answer can be devised by reading them? Like an encyclopedia brown mystery? Or are they just stupid crap you are arbitrarily making up?

The story in the other topic was completely made up! Did anyone seriously think I would get naked and rub poo all over my body? That story was intended to lead the discussion away from the little argument between Scrubking and defender. No one guessed the right answer to that story either. :D

This story, unfortunately, is true. There isn't a "mystery" either; this is as exciting as my life gets.

If no one gets either of them in the next few posts or requests for the answer, I will reveal them. :wink:

[grayghost81]

Did anyone seriously think I would get naked and rub poo all over my body?

I did actually, but thanks for clarifying.

[bradr]

Did anyone seriously think I would get naked and rub poo all over my body?

I did actually, but thanks for clarifying.

I read somewhere that a crook got away from the cops by rubbing his own crap all over himself. None of the cops would touch him to make the arrest.

[jdpimp]

Did anyone seriously think I would get naked and rub poo all over my body?

This is the internet, I can probably find pictures of it if I wanted, stop denying that you're a fecalphiliac (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Fecalphilia).

[yellowaznboy]

Well, it's time to reveal the answers:

"They" from the previous story is:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Homeless people!

*silence*

Alright, I'm being politically incorrect, so what? Someone guessed the answer I was looking for: flies. So I made up this one up on the spot.

As for this story:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Spoiler Alert!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I took another route home. :lol:

Yes. Crow > me

[RAMSTORIA]

You were walking through their nesting area?

probably, lol.

[Maklershed]

Just how deeply did this crow peck?

[pitfallharry219]

Goddamn, this thread is five years old.

[Maklershed]

Gah what the hell? I feel duped. :lol:

[Scorch]

probably, lol.

Thanks for bumping a five year old thread just for that.

[cochesecochese]

probably, lol.

wtf?

[RAMSTORIA]

Goddamn, this thread is five years old.

but a great story is timeless.

[pitfallharry219]

Agreed. Now show me the great story.

[crystalklear64]

Agreed. Now show me the great story.
Its in the OP can't you read it?