I just found out my GF of 4 years is cheating on me

[Mookyjooky]

I'm now sitting at a bar typing this on my cellphone/pda. I'm such afucking dork....

I even live with this chick....geez

what would you do from here?

------------Updated at 12:30am from here on-------------------

I've told this story a million times so far to all of my buddies, so I'll just preface it.


1. She goes and sees a friend of hers in South Carolina, she's depressed about losing her identity.
2. She comes back a different person.
3. She finds out that I went to a personals site. (I take full responsibility with this, but hear me out.... I've been trying to find a girl for my shut in friend, and in the meantime, I've become a bit addicted to browsing them. Nothing major, and I dont send winks or anything stupid... but I've been addicted to reading them for years now. I just think its really interesting... dont ask me why. I'm just wierd)
4. She finds out 3 days after she gets back from S. Caro... on Wed last week. She thinks I'm cheating on her.
5. She never tells me and invites some new coworker that she talks about a lot, to a coworker get together on Thursday. Catch is, no other coworkers will be there.
6. Thursday he goes, and brings friends. He doesnt do anything, and he has no idea that shes with someone.
7. Saturday, I realize somethings up... and confront her... she finally tells me about the personals... and I tell her the truth, I'm not cheating on her. But I realize I should of thought first. (She went through my history to find this though, which pisses me off)
8. Sunday, Easter... I go to Church with her and her family thinking this is over with. She doesnt agree that its ok, and I realize I've been an ass about it. I tell her I'm sorry and I'll never do it again.
9. Monday is normal, as well as Tuesday.
10. Wednesday she invites "Josh", new guy.. for drinks. (I find out later that he kisses her at her car and they make out for approx 10mins. Comes home at 3:30 in the morning.
11. Thursday, I go out with friends, and decide if she can stay out with her friends till 3am, I can too. (I still dont know about Josh)
12. Friday morning: She never comes home.
13. I still dont know about Josh and assume she was just with friends. She tells me she was too drunk to come home. I'm understanding about that, just majorly pissed she never called me.
14. Friday she goes out again, this time at midnight I get in my car and go looking for her. Find her downtown in a bar, not with Josh.
15. I ask her whats going on, and whatever she needs to tell me, she needs to tell me NOW. I assume shes just still pissed about the personals the whole time, I never even guess that shes cheating on me. I thought her friends and her were trying to teach me a lesson about not taking her for granted.
16. I find out shes interested in Josh for the first time from her lips.
17. I sleep on it, its not like she cheated on me, and she says multiple times that she never did ANYTHING with him.
18. I get up today- Sat. Still feeling sick about the whole thing, I swear shes lying. I go through her email. And I find this

---------------------------------------
>>Um...ok...hmmm... What to say....It is 2:00 a.m. and I am just
getting in...hung out with Josh for QUITE a while! He is defintely
interested! Don't know what to do exactly...
ARG!!!!!!!


19. I'm beside myself, I print it out and confront her. Asking her, "If you never hung out with him? What does that mean?" - Thinking they just talked after work... but wondering about more.
20. She tells me she went out with him, the one time. With his friends. It was the coworker get together. I find out later, no other coworkers were there.
21. The I get that sick feeling again, swear shes not telling me everything. She swears thats all it is. I break up with her over this.
22. She comes in my office later asking me "Are you sure you want to do this?" So I ask her more questions.
23. I find out she invited him for personal drinks,... I say she cheated on me... she say's depends on how you look at it. I ask her if he kissed her for the 10th time. She says no.
24. But I know that he did. I leave, come back 20 mins later and confront her some more. She admits to it. That he kissed her. Then, I sit for 5 mins, soaking it all in, and ask her... how many times?
25. 10 mins worth.
26. I leave, and type whats above at 10. After grilling her for 5 hours over this, after she lied and lied and lied over and over again.
27. Now the person I thought I was gonna marry, is now a stranger. And I'm not mad, Im still in shock. Just relieved.

[Brak]

Dump her. Period.

[Apossum]

are you absolutely 100% positively sure? don't do anything until then.

if you are, bring home 10 high priced prostitutes, a kiddie pool, 10 gallons of chocolate sauce and use your imagination...ask if she wants to join.

[crazytalkx]

http://www.ak-47.net/ak47/magyar.gif

[Demolition Man]

Dump her. Period.

Seconded.

[SpazX]

Well that sucks, you're sure she is?

If she doesn't know that you know then you have to secretly concoct some extravagant plan to get back at her. Something involving her favorite possession, dog shit, and possibly a midget. You fill in the details.

[Ikohn4ever]

id make sure that this is 100% accurate. Also I know some people who are comfortable if this was a one time thing. This shits a ton more serious since u live together. Are both names on the lease? Any other jointly owned property?

[Strell]

Dump her. Period.

Thirded.

Been there. Trust me, best option is this. Don't look back.

You won't regret it in the long run.

[rabbitt]

Whatever action you take, don't forget to press the record button.

[darkmere]

change the locks on the door when she's not home for starters.

[Brak]

This has happened to me, in a less straight-forward fashion... regardless, and to my point, the worst thing I did was look back too long. Look forward, and walk away.

[Mr Unoriginal]

Ass to mouth with her mom.

[Brak]

Ass to mouth with her mom.

That made me roar.

[Dead of Knight]

Firstly: PWNED

Secondly: More details. Now.

Thirdly: Dump this bitch.

[guyver2077]

women are such bitches

[LaraCroftsLeftBoob]

wait till she falls asleep and tatoo "whore" on her forehead. (or use a sharpie marker.)

if she's not on the pill and you use condoms for sex, put some noxema on the condom next time you fuck her. her hole will feel like it's on fire for a week.

[TheBlueWizard]

If she's cheating on you with a woman...well now, that has some possibilities.

Seriously, all kidding aside, you first find out if its true. If it is, dump her and move on. She's cheating on you now and you are just living together. Its not going to get better if you get married and have kids.

Cut your losses and get out.

TBW

[Mr. Anderson]

wait till she falls asleep and tatoo "whore" on her forehead. (or use a sharpie marker.)

if she's not on the pill and you use condoms for sex, put some noxema on the condom next time you fuck her. her hole will feel like it's on fire for a week.

:rofl: Jesus that was funny.

On topic, first be ABSOLUTELY sure this is true. If it is, dump the ho and never look back. If you let her slide, she will abuse your kindness and things will get worse.

[marten]

A. Donkey Punch her.

B. "Poke her in the eye."

C. When she recovers, yell "Glitter, Bitch!", hit her with a handful, and throw her ass out.

The End. :applause::lol:

[jeffreyjrose]

Thirded.

Been there. Trust me, best option is this. Don't look back.

You won't regret it in the long run.

Fourthed.

Don't waste your time. There is no better option.

[Nephilim]

Ass to mouth with her mom.

on video

Seriously Mook, there is no other option than to just be done with her.

[Mr. Anderson]

A. Donkey Punch her.

B. "Poke her in the eye."

C. When she recovers, yell "Glitter, Bitch!", hit her with a handful, and throw her ass out.

The End. :applause::lol:

Oh yeah, I totally second the glitter. That shit is impossible to get off.

[Javery]

Dump her. Period.

QFT. Don't look back.

[Brak]

A glitter Christmas tree fell on me, when I worked at Kmart. That shit didn't come off for, like, three or four days. It was in my eyes and eyelashes, too. A fucking nightmare.

[GuilewasNK]

Fourthed.

Don't waste your time. There is no better option.

Seriously.

If you know without a doubt that cheating is going on then you shouldn't have anything else to do with her. If someone cheats on you then you pretty much have an idea what they think of you. It's not an accident like dropping a sandwich on the floor.

[Strell]

It's not an accident like dropping a sandwich on the floor.

Yes, but girls will spin it that way. Easily one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen in humanity.

Either that or they will justify it.

I heard both. Never wanted to spill blood more than at that time.

[Mr. Anderson]

Yes, but girls will spin it that way. Easily one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen in humanity.

Either that or they will justify it.

I heard both. Never wanted to spill blood more than at that time.

This man speaks wisdom.

[GuilewasNK]

Yes, but girls will spin it that way. Easily one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen in humanity.

Either that or they will justify it.

I heard both. Never wanted to spill blood more than at that time.

Yep. If a guy tried that he would be Bobbittized on the spot.

[CappyCobra]

If I was in this situation I would:
Step 1) Make sure she was cheating
Step 2) MAKE SURE SHE WAS CHEATING
Step 3) GET PROOF. Photographic proof or a signed affidavit of the person who saw her cheating.
Step 4) If you are now sure she is cheating, STFU about it. You need to start planning.
Step 5a) If the place is not yours, invest in renting some storage space. Change your address to a P.O box at the post office (Women are heartless bitches who will 'send you' your mail just before your bill is due and fuck up your credit) Move the little things that you can without being noticed. For the big shit, (read: TVs, furniture) take the day off with some freinds and move the rest of your stuff out while she is at work. Crash with a friend. Avoid crashing with the folks, they'll just rub your failed relationship in your face.
Step 5b)If the place is yours. Change the locks. Leave a note telling her you'll send that skanks shit in the mail.
Step 5c) You both own/lease the place. GET A LAWYER

[Javery]

Yes, but girls will spin it that way. Easily one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen in humanity.

Either that or they will justify it.

I heard both. Never wanted to spill blood more than at that time.

"I didn't mean it. It will never happen again" - best line ever.

[GuilewasNK]

"I didn't mean it. It will never happen again" - best line ever.

The only time I'll believe that line is if someone is burnin' my grits.

[Arikado]

Ass to mouth with her mom.

Wins thread.

[Mookyjooky]

updated 1st post.

[Brak]

Fire her and don't look back.

[marten]

Change the locks, call up a few friends, move everything of hers out into the front yard/street, and hope you live in a neighborhood where 90% of it will be gone in an hour.

Here's a beer (or twenty-eight) on us. :beer:

[SpazX]

Yeah that really sucks man, but it's better that it happened now than after getting married.

What exactly was this "losing her identity" shit? Decide she needed to fuck more guys or something?

[WeaponX2099]

1) When in a relationship or just sharing a computer with someone else, always erase your history.

2) You did the right thing.

3) Next girlfriend, tell her about personal ads stuff so there is no confusion and more than likely she will want to help that shut in friend too. unless he's an ugly asshole.

[terribledeli]

I'd just smother her with a pillow.

[Javery]

What exactly was this "losing her identity" shit? Decide she needed to fuck more guys or something?

Who the hell knows - she's a girl and therefore fucking crazy.

[JimmieMac]

You obviously didn't do your job but making her firmly belive, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if she were to ever cheat on you, YOU'D FU(KIN KILL HER.

Now, keep this in mind when you start shopping for a new girlfriend next month.

[Skelah]

Go to her family and say from ur heart what u just said here 'i wanted to marry your daughter but i found out that she over reacted about me 'looking at stuff online' because she was running around making out with guys and doing who knows what else .
Maybe she should join you guys in church a little more often?


Then pack all her belongings and set them outside ur front door make sure to pack them crappy throw her shit in boxes.

Make her face you and let her know that a real woman doesnt go to bars picking up guys tell her shes a child a whore and she needs to grow up and u never wanna see her again.

Basicly from me being married and hearing all these storys you have to be cold about it all dont listen to bullshit it will just waste ur time you will feel best if your calculated about it all.
Do not make an ass out of urself by ever kissing a female who steped out on u like that.
If u marry her she will cheat sexualy some day probly when u guys have kids dont destroy ur life.

[camoor]

Why not have an open relationship.

I hear it's a swinging good time!

Oh that's right - I just read the church part. Shame.

[Graystone]

Drop her, and nothing wrong with searching the personals site. I think we all do it sometimes. Hell when I was 15 or so all of my friends would call the local personals free hotline. We would mess with people on their.

[neudog]

Kick her ass to the curb. That snooping around shit pisses me the fuck off. My wife use to do it early on in our marriage due to pornography, but overtime it has gone away. Obviously Mooky your girl has been thinking about this for awhile to act on it so quickly. If you have an open relationship and can talk about anything she would have understood even though it might have seemed bad. A strong relationship requires trust, but after you explained she decided to play the field anyways. It is inexcusable to say the least. She might not have slept with the ahole, but her intentions can lead down that dark alley.
You need to sit her trflin ass down and ask her to her face if she loves you. If she hesitates, stand up and walk away. You don't need doubt in a relationship

This is a general question for all you female CAG's, and I'm not saying you all do this. Why do women snoop around and then over react when they find something minor like a porn site or in Mooky's case, a personals site? I understand the anger/frustration of your significant other not informing you, but it must be more than that from the reactions I've experienced and have heard about. My wife knows I surf porn and she also is the first to point at some hot chick. Women are the most beautiful creation on Gods green earth, but I love my wife and nothing besides her cheating and death would make me leave her.

My wife has access to my entire life, from my email passwords to the sites I go to. She did not ask for my password I gave it to her because I have nothing to hide. She will get jealous ever so often when a female classmate emails me because of a group project. Other than that their are no regulations on me and there shouldn't be for anyone in a serious relationship, within certain limits.

Long term/Serious relationships require trust. You f'ed up by not informing your girl ahead of time, but you fully explained it. Her response is to make up some story about a coworker party so she can go on a date with another man. I've heard of fighting fire with fire, but she fought with a blow torch.:hot:

Sorry to hear about this Mooky. Hopefully your girl sees the error of her ways and you can work things out. If not, there are other fish in the sea, no pun intended.:-P Good luck.

[Dr Mario Kart]

http://img357.imageshack.us/img357/4066/1508px6ft.jpg

[Greetard]

Blackmail.

Slip a roofie in her drink, tape her eyes open and fuck the shit outta her on camera. Backwards, upside-down, standing, kneeling, with a toy, with a friend, in the ass, and down her throat. Finish it off with a huge, steamy crap on her chest. Threaten to put the tape on the internet and send it to everyone she knows unless she stays with you forever.

If the cops come, ditch the evidence, rinse and repeat.

Jokes aside, that sucks. I'm sorry.

[Krymner]

Fourthed.

Don't waste your time. There is no better option.

Fifth'ed.

Something extremely similiar happened to me about 4 years ago with my then fiance. I had to find out about everything while I was digging through the trash to find a phone bill I had accidentally thrown away when I happened upon a stack of emails she had printed out from her work. The emails were for setting up meetings and crap between the two of them.

When I confronted her, I didn't show her the evidence, but I gave her a chance to tell me the truth. She lied to me and said the same thing your girl said, that they had only kissed and nothing was going on. I asked her several times and gave her plenty of opportunity to tell me the truth, but she continued to lie to me.

Next day, while she was at work, I packed up her shit and piled it up in the garage.

And she was also the type of girl who was always snooping thru my stuff, going over all my emails and crap. She knew my passwords and everything because I freely gave them to her because I had nothing to hide. When she moved into my house, she went thru everything I owned, and when I would even open anything of hers, she would raise all kinda hell about me snooping on her.

If she's pissed off at you for going thru personal ads, she's only using that as an excuse for what she has done. Something to shoot back at in your argument. If she doesn't trust you, and you don't trust her, there lies the main problem, whether you're cheating on each other or not.

Bottom line, if there is no trust in your relationship, then you will always be doubtful. If you are always doubtful, then you cannot be happy. If you cannot be happy, then why bother with her?

[neudog]

Blackmail.

Slip a roofie in her drink, tape her eyes open and fuck the shit outta her on camera. Backwards, upside-down, standing, kneeling, with a toy, with a friend, in the ass, and down her throat. Finish it off with a huge, steamy crap on her chest. Threaten to put the tape on the internet and send it to everyone she knows unless she stays with you forever.

If the cops come, ditch the evidence, rinse and repeat.

Jokes aside, that sucks. I'm sorry.

http://www.xs4all.nl/~ernstmul/images/msnbonus/24_shocked.gif I thought my response was bad:rofl:

[mbstuff]

I hate to be a devil's advocate here, but what exactly did she find in your history? You write that you thought it was cleared up but found out that she didn't feel that way. Did she check through 6 weeks of history and see you logging on to a personals web site everyday?

I don't know how you'd react, but I'd be seriously pissed if a girlfriend was checking out a personals site for over a month without giving me a legitimate reason (and you know what? "I was trying to hook up a friend" would not be a legitimate excuse I would readily accept). Honestly, I think you probably neglected to mention it to her because at some level you knew that she wouldn't approve. Who would? Especially if she found out that you checked them habitually for a long period of time.

So here you have a person who's been depressed, uncertain about the direction of her life (I suppose that's what losing her identity means), and she finds out her serious long-time boyfriend has been checking out personals for the past however long. Doesn't seem like that far of a leap until she starts considering that "interesting" co-worker she's know for a while. Not saying a person should make that leap; just that I can empathize a little bit with her situation.

Hell, we don't know you or your situation (well besides buying games off your tradelist and reading your posts where you wax poetic about porn). Don't get all crazy. Keep your cool. How upset was she about you looking at personals? (By the way, even though you say it's just pure entertainment, it's not. It's looking at what's on the other side of the fence/pasture. If it was pure entertainment about reading what other people write, you'd also be reading personals from men. Which I'm sure you didn't do).

Bottom line, ask yourself this: If there had not been that issue about personals, would she have asked this other guy out? If I were you, I'd answer this question first before deciding what I needed to do.

[Deadpool]

I say fuck her mouth, take pictures, THEN kick her out.

[Ikohn4ever]

after reading it all dump her/end it/kick her out of your place

[Zenithian Legend]

you know why?? cuz you're a fucking fairy ass bitch, you f*cking fruit, any girl would cheat on a dude with a half an inch dick, and you're just a little bitch in life's game, so get used to getting used, fucking $$$$$$jucky

[Scorch]

yyou know why?? cuz you're a fucking fairy ass bitch, you f*cking fruit, any girl would cheat on a dude with a half an inch dick, and you're just a little bitch in life's game, so get used to getting used, fucking $$$$$$jucky
What the.. ?!

[guyver2077]

What the.. ?!


what the fuck is right?? u drunk horse?

[Scorch]

I think someone pissed in his feeding trough

[Zenithian Legend]

no i'm not drunk, i've come to the sad, sorry pathetic realization, that human life, must end, and that I and I alone must end it, and that anyone that stands in my way must be silenced, and I am the destroyer, and everyone else, friends, girlfriends, etc is just in my way of our goal... join me my brothers, cry no more, suffer no more, and find your true meaning

[KwanzaaTimmy]

you know why?? cuz you're a fucking fairy ass bitch, you f*cking fruit, any girl would cheat on a dude with a half an inch dick, and you're just a little bitch in life's game, so get used to getting used, fucking $$$$$$jucky
no i'm not drunk, i've come to the sad, sorry pathetic realization, that human life, must end, and that I and I alone must end it, and that anyone that stands in my way must be silenced, and I am the destroyer, and everyone else, friends, girlfriends, etc is just in my way of our goal... join me my brothers, cry no more, suffer no more, and find your true meaning
haha.. wasn't expecting this.

Sorry Mooky.

[jmcc]

What's the signifier of actual banishment? Is ZL actually gone now?

[jam3582]

holy crap what a friggin coincidence. I have recently found out I was cheated on by girl of five years. Also a few co-workers have also been cheated on recently too. And one of my bros best friends brother has been cheated on also .Shit what is the world comming to, man good luck mooky if the place is yours get rid of her and move on its was probably better this way you know.

[dastly75]

She really can't be cheating on you for something as trivial as surfing personal sites. Myspace is getting to be like a personal site in some senses now. She must of really wanted to get out of the relationship and is using that as an excuse to blame it on you. Women are whores, throw her shit out of the house and never look back.

[SATAN]

Beat the s**t out of him then cut a hole above her bed in the roof.....and wait for her to fall asleep.....take a giant steaming dump through the hole while crouched on the roof and drop it right on her face....scream obscenities through hole down at her while she struggles to realize WTF is going on. That should about solve your problem.

[Dante Devil]

Man, I really am sorry about this happening to you. I really think that once trust has been destroyed you can never be too sure if she is being truthful when it counts.

Looking through the personals didn't help the situation. Maybe you could have sat down with her looking through the personals together. Just reading them for a laugh. She could have seen how enterataining it was to you and would have not been so uptight about it.

[Mookyjooky]

I hate to be a devil's advocate here, but what exactly did she find in your history? You write that you thought it was cleared up but found out that she didn't feel that way. Did she check through 6 weeks of history and see you logging on to a personals web site everyday?

I don't know how you'd react, but I'd be seriously pissed if a girlfriend was checking out a personals site for over a month without giving me a legitimate reason (and you know what? "I was trying to hook up a friend" would not be a legitimate excuse I would readily accept). Honestly, I think you probably neglected to mention it to her because at some level you knew that she wouldn't approve. Who would? Especially if she found out that you checked them habitually for a long period of time.

So here you have a person who's been depressed, uncertain about the direction of her life (I suppose that's what losing her identity means), and she finds out her serious long-time boyfriend has been checking out personals for the past however long. Doesn't seem like that far of a leap until she starts considering that "interesting" co-worker she's know for a while. Not saying a person should make that leap; just that I can empathize a little bit with her situation.

Hell, we don't know you or your situation (well besides buying games off your tradelist and reading your posts where you wax poetic about porn). Don't get all crazy. Keep your cool. How upset was she about you looking at personals? (By the way, even though you say it's just pure entertainment, it's not. It's looking at what's on the other side of the fence/pasture. If it was pure entertainment about reading what other people write, you'd also be reading personals from men. Which I'm sure you didn't do).

Bottom line, ask yourself this: If there had not been that issue about personals, would she have asked this other guy out? If I were you, I'd answer this question first before deciding what I needed to do.

The full story on the personals, it was the first time she found them in the 4 years... it was 12-13 pages in my history.

I take full responcibility, and say its my bad... but would she of cheated on me anyways? Was she just hurt?

I've gone through her emails where she tells someone stuff like, (Things in "{ }" are added by me)

"I got asked out by a cute boy today, I told him {Get this..} another time, what could I say with Wes outside picking me up from work?"

"I felt bad telling him no, but we set up another time, I'm still a pimp! {She goes on in the next email talking about how she'll teach her, her "tricks"}

And then the email I found which I posted completely in the OP.

I blamed myself all day yesterday, and then I decided after reading those emails at 12:30 - and updating my OP that the personals shit was nothing more than an excuse to do it.

She went on 2 dates, and she kissed him more than once and lied about it a thousand times. I took me 7 hours in all of talking to get all this info out of her, I was asking her the same questions in different ways until she slipped up, then I would go back to the first and ask them all again...

I think it was completely pre-meditated and well thought out. If the personals ads bothered her that much, she would of confronted me, instead she held it and used it as an excuse.

I was gonna make it easy on her give her the PS2, cause shes playing Kingdom Hearts, and make sure she had copies of my 60 gigs of mp3s and our photos.... but fuck that... she would of fucked the guy if I didnt catch her.

[Russblue11]

gather all her shit, spread glitter around, crap on it, and then throw it outside in the rain

[Grave_Addiction]

no i'm not drunk, i've come to the sad, sorry pathetic realization, that human life, must end, and that I and I alone must end it, and that anyone that stands in my way must be silenced, and I am the destroyer, and everyone else, friends, girlfriends, etc is just in my way of our goal... join me my brothers, cry no more, suffer no more, and find your true meaning

Someone's been playinig too much Oblivion.

[jPoD]

Karma. All i can say. That's what you get for being a douchebag.

[evilmax17]

The full story on the personals, it was the first time she found them in the 4 years... it was 12-13 pages in my history.

I take full responcibility, and say its my bad... but would she of cheated on me anyways? Was she just hurt?
Here's how to look at the personals thing: it finally gave her a chance/excuse to step out on the relationship. It would've happened anyway, it was just a matter of when. That's why she was looking through your history, she was looking for something that would subconciously make it ok for her to start looking elsewhere.

You said it yourself. She went to SC because she was having an identity crisis. It doesn't sound like she was content with keeping things stable in her life.

Learn from your mistakes, learn from the experience, and move on. Dwelling on it would be the worst thing you could ever do.

[Quackzilla]

That's what you get for having a tiny dick.

Sorry dude.

[Quillion]

Yes, but girls will spin it that way. Easily one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen in humanity.

Either that or they will justify it.

I heard both. Never wanted to spill blood more than at that time.

QFT! I've heard them all. From my last TWO exes.

"I just kissed him because I wanted it to be you."

"I need a weekend alone. I'll be staying with my friend John." and later "I'm interested in John."

[thespillcanvas]

Just make a Myspace, write some shitty sad poetry, and post it there. Then, sulk over her for the next two weeks plotting your revenge, and ultimately end up doing nothing at all and moving on.
:lol:

Seriously though. Like a few others said, if you let her get away with it she'll just end up doing it again.

[Quillion]

I was gonna make it easy on her give her the PS2, cause shes playing Kingdom Hearts, and make sure she had copies of my 60 gigs of mp3s and our photos.... but fuck that... she would of fucked the guy if I didnt catch her.

Dude, I know exactly how you feel. I'd like to say don't let the shit tear you up, but it does.

The first time a long time girlfriend (Almost two years) cheated on me, and dumped me for him, it took me over a year to get over her. Just work through it. There's no magic solution that will fix everything, there's no quick fix.

Just watch for the warning signs in the future and don't repeat your mistakes.

[Mospeada_21]

kissed him? better check for penis breathe.

contact producers of the TV show Cheaters immediately.

post pictures of her all over the web. better yet, post them here.

move on. (sixth now, right?)

[evanft]

POST PIXZ!!!!!!

We must have them!

[Javery]

The best revenge is just living a happy life without her. That's all you can do but believe me it's plenty. Your next long term relationship will be infinitely better than this one because you will have the knowledge of what you are going through now. You can also take comfort in the fact that in 5 years she's probably going to be 20 lbs. overweight. Good thing you're getting rid of fatty asap.

[Quillion]

The best revenge is just living a happy life without her. That's all you can do but believe me it's plenty. Your next long term relationship will be infinitely better than this one because you will have the knowledge of what you are going through now. You can also take comfort in the fact that in 5 years she's probably going to be 20 lbs. overweight. Good thing you're getting rid of fatty asap.
Again, QFT.

Listen to Javeryh, he is a wise man.

EDIT: Good lord. I just called javeryh wise...

[Apossum]

The best revenge is just living a happy life without her. That's all you can do but believe me it's plenty. Your next long term relationship will be infinitely better than this one because you will have the knowledge of what you are going through now. You can also take comfort in the fact that in 5 years she's probably going to be 20 lbs. overweight. Good thing you're getting rid of fatty asap.


QFT

+ Posting nude pics of her on cag will ease the grieving process.

[Eviltude]

Firstly: PWNED

Secondly: More details. Now.

Thirdly: Dump this bitch.
Muahahaha, evil women. I laughed...

[hohez]

listen dude, you did nothing wrong. If she freaked out over simple profile browsing then shes way too uptight and doesnt trust you. her tresspass going through your history should have ended it there.

Thats a complete betrayal and somehow she got YOU to apologize. If after 4 years she still doesnt trust you, send her a jack in the box filled with hobo vomit.

In fact, i have some hobos who can help.

[cochesecochese]

It burns, but this kind of shit happens all the time.

I've been through this before, and the only option is to get rid of her. If you give her leeway on this she's going to walk all over you. Get your head together and clear up any technicalities (lease, belongings, etc.) and then get rid of her. Find solace in the arms of another woman and move on with your life.

[jaykrue]

The best revenge is just living a happy life without her. That's all you can do but believe me it's plenty. Your next long term relationship will be infinitely better than this one because you will have the knowledge of what you are going through now. You can also take comfort in the fact that in 5 years she's probably going to be 20 lbs. overweight. Good thing you're getting rid of fatty asap.

Jav, you should be my spokesman as you pretty much say what I was going to anyway. :lol:

[darkmere]

no i'm not drunk, i've come to the sad, sorry pathetic realization, that human life, must end, and that I and I alone must end it, and that anyone that stands in my way must be silenced, and I am the destroyer, and everyone else, friends, girlfriends, etc is just in my way of our goal... join me my brothers, cry no more, suffer no more, and find your true meaning
ha ha ha...someone's been watching too much fight club lately. humanity in most respects is pathetic, but what makes you think you are it's destroyer/savior?

[Dead of Knight]

If after 4 years she still doesnt trust you, send her a jack in the box filled with hobo vomit.

In fact, i have some hobos who can help.

:rofl:

[Strell]

HEY NOW.

WHERE ARE ALL THE GIRLS HERE TO REASSURE US MEN THAT THEY AREN'T ALL SLUTS?

Oh.

RIGHT.

[AngellicLulu]

HEY NOW.

WHERE ARE ALL THE GIRLS HERE TO REASSURE US MEN THAT THEY AREN'T ALL SLUTS?

Oh.

RIGHT. Truth is that there are many who are sluts as you say. Just as there are men who cheat on women, there are women who cheat on men. It's not a gender issue because both sexes cheat. I could probably pull out some statistics out my ass and claim men are more likely to cheat than women, but I find such studies absurd, because such things depend on the person not their sex.
Many people have their own interests in mind and that causes them to do things without considering others.
To the OP: It sucks that it had to happen so long into a relationship, after one dedicates so much time and effort into a relationship, but as several said at least you have found out now before you married her and had to go through a nasty divorce.

[darkmere]

i gotta ask...what would you have done, prior to the sc weekend escape to find herself (when you hear words like that you should know it's over anyway), if you had found 12-13 pages of history of her browsing personals? would you have assumed she was cheating on you then? it sounds like there were trust issues on both sides here. take it as a sign. it's better that it's over. i had a girlfriend or two that cheated on me a few years back when i first started seriously dating girls. honestly, it was the best thing that could have happened. sure, it broke my heart, but at least i didn't end up married just to find out she was cheating on me then. it will make you tougher and wiser, and in a few months you'll be dating someone else and won't give a crap about her anymore. and if you're smart you'll know what the warning signs are and how to better approach relationships.

in the meantime, watch swingers (great movie, especially for a guy in your position), hit the bar with your friends, and hit the field and get a piece of something strange. it'll help you get over her and not end up one of those pathetic guys that whines for 2 years about his bitch of an ex. or give up and start listening to emo.

[defiance_17]

South Park, Episode 714--"Raisins."

[Brak]

Truth is that there are many who are sluts as you say. Just as there are men who cheat on women, there are women who cheat on men. It's not a gender issue because both sexes cheat.

A lot of zoologists would say otherwise...

[Admiral Ackbar]

are you absolutely 100% positively sure? don't do anything until then.

if you are, bring home 10 high priced prostitutes, a kiddie pool, 10 gallons of chocolate sauce and use your imagination...ask if she wants to join.

http://blogs.warwick.ac.uk/images/richardwinskill/2005/08/01/sexyparty.png

[mackaikai]

sorry to hear the story...

best of luck to you!!!

[niceguyshawne]

Just a question... How old are the both of you?

[friedram]

That sucks man, best of luck.

And for the rest of us- this provides us a good lesson- never share your computer with anyone. Period. And if you don't have your own, or you have to share- don't do anything you wouldn't mind someone else finding out about- in detail.

For those of you who play MMORPG's-

Sharing Computer FTL

[Blade]

Slip a roofie in her drink, tape her eyes open and fuck the shit outta her on camera. Backwards, upside-down, standing, kneeling, with a toy, with a friend, in the ass, and down her throat. Finish it off with a huge, steamy crap on her chest and then send it to me because I'm a lonely, desperate virgin that will never know the feel of a woman apart from my grandmother whom I voluntarily sponge bath for arousement.

Post fixed.

[neudog]

http://www.graphx123.com/halloweengifs/ripstone.gif
Zenithian Legend 04-29-2004 to 04-23-2006. Only six more days until his 2nd CAGiversary:-(

[Greetard]

Post fixed.

Whoa... you're hilarious!

It has always baffled me why anyone would think that you're just a simple-minded douchebag. Your type of humor is far superior to mine. Seriously, you're stuff is absolute gold compared to anything that I could ever come up with. Yessirree-bob, I can tell that you'll get plenty of laughs from that little slice of genius.

Angry about the Ken doll comment? Is it because I damaged your ego? Wanna' talk about it? (http://www.mdpe.us/jessworld/sound/CryMeARiver.mp3)

EDIT: Ladies and gentlemen, the reason for the "I Hate Greetard" Thread:
http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/showthread.php?t=91822&page=2

[Mookyjooky]

Yeah, so all in all - even though she cried and cried... I'm moving on. I told her maybe one day, but I dont really think it will ever come to that day.

It wasnt the cheating in the end, it was the deceit. She just kept lying, and it was hard to find an end. I dont know if I still know everything or not. Oh well, Que Sera...

[Strell]

Yeah, so all in all - even though she cried and cried... I'm moving on. I told her maybe one day, but I dont really think it will ever come to that day.

It wasnt the cheating in the end, it was the deceit. She just kept lying, and it was hard to find an end. I dont know if I still know everything or not. Oh well, Que Sera...

Juka, rest assured this is indeed the correct decision.

Women have these bullshit defense mechanisms that kick in during such a situation. The first is the spin, the second is the justification. The third - enacted when you tell them they are a filthy fucking whore and you need to move on because, as prior said, they are a filthy fucking whore - is to cry and cry and apologize and talk about how they really, truly, honestly want to be with you, that their mistake opened their eyes, etc etc.

There are latter tools at their disposal - running to the person they cheated on you with, convincing their friends you were the reason for the breakup and asking them to support her instead of you, doing the same with any casual/mutual friends (i.e., "pick sides"), claiming they hate you/the relationship, etc etc etc.

It's like a never ending bag of tricks they stole from Felix the Cat. They just never fucking shut up, never have an end to the bullshit. It just keeps fucking coming.

You have done the right thing. For your own sanity, do not call, do not IM, do not e-mail, do not drive by her (your?) house, throw out her things, burn gifts she gave you, etc. If you can manage, resist the temptation to do random acts of vandalism, although I personally think that a gray area singularity is created in this situation, which might give you karmic immunity.

Also, do not consider a "one day in the future" scenario. For two reasons. 1) By then, the girl will be an even bigger filthy fucking whore. Girls do NOT mature until their 30s at best, and by then they are just boring. 2) You're only lying to yourself. It's a comfortability angle - you think some time off might cause you both to realize what was really there, and hence want to secure that sort of stability. Don't fool yourself. It doesn't happen. Much like how you can't be friends after such a thing, don't pretend a relationship can ressurect itself. I'd guess there are exceptions, but this isn't one of them.

Anyway Juka, good show. It sucks. Sucks hard. But it'll pass. Prolly take a while. Took me a while, and the reason for that is simply because it is. Doesn't make you a pussy or anything. Anyone saying otherwise is a clueless fucktard who doesn't realize bullshit and is probably still in high school.

Good luck.

[evanft]

Whoa... you're hilarious!

It has always baffled me why anyone would think that you're just a simple-minded douchebag. Your type of humor is far superior to mine. Seriously, you're stuff is absolute gold compared to anything that I could ever come up with. Yessirree-bob, I can tell that you'll get plenty of laughs from that little slice of genius.

Angry about the Ken doll comment? Is it because I damaged your ego? Wanna' talk about it? (http://www.mdpe.us/jessworld/sound/CryMeARiver.mp3)

EDIT: Ladies and gentlemen, the reason for the "I Hate Greetard" Thread:
http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/showthread.php?t=91822&page=2

This is why I put Blade on my ignore list.

[Javery]

... a bunch of really good shit....

Strell, you rule. It's like you were there back in college when this shit happened to me... as much as it completely sucks I think every man should go through this at least once. It's an eye-opener.

[HeadRusch]

You made the absolute right decision. Even a small amount of mistrust will only grow larger and larger over time. Of course, remember the actions that you took as well....just try to apply them in the future.

There's always a prettier girl, a bigger freak in bed, a flashier car, a bigger house. The idea is to achieve a certain level of satisfaction and then accept that what you have is worth keeping. That the cost of the upgrade will, for whatever reason, not amount to a proportional increase in your happiness.
That can be your car, your home theatre, your Wife.....etc.

[BodyShot213]

I dont want to sound like Dr. Phil but i think you guys have a trust issue if you are hacking thru her emails..

Trust is a very important thing. Its everything.

[Strell]

Strell, you rule. It's like you were there back in college when this shit happened to me... as much as it completely sucks I think every man should go through this at least once. It's an eye-opener.

Agreed. I hesitate to say everyone should go through it, but it does open your eyes.

It hit me very, very hard. And had I known what I know now (every idealist's dream phrase), I would have told the girl to shove off and eat shit. Additionally, I don't feel a need to dredge up personal stories for amusement of those on the net, primarily because the intended effect you want hardly ever happens. I.e., chances are greater you'll run into a bunch of assholes chiding you and championing whatever bullshit you are enduring, rather than any kind of support.

That isn't to say everyone should commiserate on the net with each other like an extended Oprah network. Far from it. But you have to sometimes just put the facts on the line for others. ANd having gone through it, I've got enough ammo to last me for eons.

Live and learn, man. Live and fucking learn.

[DuelLadyS]

Check your local property laws. I'd hate to see you on People's Court cuz this chick is trying to screw you out of rent money/posessions or something (since you said you did live together.)

[Apossum]

I'm going to laminate strell's post and keep it in my pocket, just in case.

[niceguyshawne]

Good luck on your new life.

[Maynard]

YOU DONT HAVE TO SAY WHAT YOU DID

I ALREADY KNOW

I FOUND OUT FROM HEEEEEEEEIIIMMMM


hahhaa that song makes me laugh so hard.

[Javery]

It hit me very, very hard. And had I known what I know now (every idealist's dream phrase), I would have told the girl to shove off and eat shit.

So true. When I look back at the amount of bullshit I put up with and how I was completely and heartlessly walked all over I get embarassed just thinking about it. I did get the satisfaction most people don't get though when she told me 2 years later it was the biggest mistake she ever made and then I got to tell her to shove off and eat shit (or something pretty close to it).

[Maynard]

Ok true story, Shannon K. (keep that last name hidden).

We dated for like 7 months when I was a junior in high school. She was a freshman at Milikin university. I remember the day she told me she cheated on me. I used to always say "if i catch a bitch cheating i'll fuck her in the ass and leave" hahaha you know where this is going.


I go down there on a train to, what she thinks, work it out. I end up getting there and sorta patch shit up and we go to a party that night. Lots of drinks later i'm drunk but not totalled and shes definately drunk. We start messing around and she goes down on me and i'm like alright lets fuck. She get undressed, i yank the condom out and go to it. A few minutes in i go to switch positions to the doggy and i go to insert and instead of vaginal i go anal she lets out a yelp and a what was that and i say just go with it. She goes with it and the next day she could barely walk and called me the biggest asshole ever, and i laughed and said "yeah but i can sit on mine without any pain you cheating slut" and left.

We haven't talked since, but i always chuckle about it.

[HeadRusch]

File that one under "What would Jeebus Do?" :D

[sblymnlcrymnl]

Ok true story, Shannon K. (keep that last name hidden).

We dated for like 7 months when I was a junior in high school. She was a freshman at Milikin university. I remember the day she told me she cheated on me. I used to always say "if i catch a bitch cheating i'll fuck her in the ass and leave" hahaha you know where this is going.


I go down there on a train to, what she thinks, work it out. I end up getting there and sorta patch shit up and we go to a party that night. Lots of drinks later i'm drunk but not totalled and shes definately drunk. We start messing around and she goes down on me and i'm like alright lets fuck. She get undressed, i yank the condom out and go to it. A few minutes in i go to switch positions to the doggy and i go to insert and instead of vaginal i go anal she lets out a yelp and a what was that and i say just go with it. She goes with it and the next day she could barely walk and called me the biggest asshole ever, and i laughed and said "yeah but i can sit on mine without any pain you cheating slut" and left.

We haven't talked since, but i always chuckle about it.Truly living the dream. :lol: :applause: :applause: :applause:

[Blade]

Whoa... you're hilarious!

It has always baffled me why anyone would think that you're just a simple-minded douchebag. Your type of humor is far superior to mine. Seriously, you're stuff is absolute gold compared to anything that I could ever come up with. Yessirree-bob, I can tell that you'll get plenty of laughs from that little slice of genius.

Angry about the Ken doll comment? Is it because I damaged your ego? Wanna' talk about it? (http://www.mdpe.us/jessworld/sound/CryMeARiver.mp3)

EDIT: Ladies and gentlemen, the reason for the "I Hate Greetard" Thread:
http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/showthread.php?t=91822&page=2

Right, because simple-minded douchebags aren't the ones that bash someone for their opinion, the way they look, and continually do it instead of just ignoring their posts. 'Simple-minded' wouldn't be how someone cannot accept someone else's views or genetic disposition. 'Douchebag' wouldn't refer to how someone always flames another person.

I guess you caught me being one! :roll: :roll: :roll:

That wasn't an "I Hate Greetard" thread. That was the "A List Of Immature People Who Actually Hate People Over The Internet" thread, and you're the only CAG that fits the category. Well done!

[Kayden]

no i'm not drunk, i've come to the sad, sorry pathetic realization, that human life, must end, and that I and I alone must end it, and that anyone that stands in my way must be silenced, and I am the destroyer, and everyone else, friends, girlfriends, etc is just in my way of our goal... join me my brothers, cry no more, suffer no more, and find your true meaning

Are you taking applications? 8-)

[itspaidgasterblaster]

If you guys live together there is no reason why a chick should be out in bars without you. If i were you i would try to f... her best friend or sister witchever hurts her the most.

[Mookyjooky]

I'll tell you one thing, this is depressing me more, the more I look at personals and myspace and crap. These chick are fucking boring. And I'd rather not catch "the HIVvy" from these chicks throwing pussy out.

[Mr. Anderson]

I'll tell you one thing, this is depressing me more, the more I look at personals and myspace and crap. These chick are fucking boring. And I'd rather not catch "the HIVvy" from these chicks throwing pussy out.

Don't start looking for new women yet. Play the field and hang out at the bars until your ready for a relationship.

[Steggy]

Don't start looking for new women yet. Play the field and hang out at the bars until your ready for a relationship.

lol, a highschooler telling you to play the field and hang out at the bars... how classic.

[Mr. Anderson]

lol, a highschooler telling you to play the field and hang out at the bars... how classic.

But I'm right.

[Steggy]

But I'm right.

have you ever been to a bar?

[Ikohn4ever]

I'll tell you one thing, this is depressing me more, the more I look at personals and myspace and crap. These chick are fucking boring. And I'd rather not catch "the HIVvy" from these chicks throwing pussy out.


avoid any type of relationship besides asking her for her name in the morning

[rabbitt]

I dont want to sound like Dr. Phil but i think you guys have a trust issue if you are hacking thru her emails..

Trust is a very important thing. Its everything.

Didn't you see what he found in her email!?

[CappyCobra]

...the next day she could barely walk and called me the biggest asshole ever...
Wait, didn't you fuck her in the ass? Hence she would have the biggest asshole ever 8-)

[slimpip]

have you ever been to a bar?

You never know, it's possible. I was a bouncer for a bar 2 weekends in a row my Soph year in HS.

Ironically, while I was checking for fake IDs I had access to any drink I wanted. I stuck with water though :)

[Kayden]

I'll tell you one thing, this is depressing me more, the more I look at personals and myspace and crap. These chick are fucking boring. And I'd rather not catch "the HIVvy" from these chicks throwing pussy out.


I know what you mean. The hot ones have the personality of a toaster and just want to be adored digitally. The interesting ones have a face for radio and an ass for sumo. And you really don't want to fuck anyone you met on the net because the bitch'll fuck anyone she meets over the net!

Its best to just laugh at the man blob with his fist in a mustard jar than it is to actually solicit the people you find therein.

[0192837465]

no i'm not drunk, i've come to the sad, sorry pathetic realization, that human life, must end, and that I and I alone must end it, and that anyone that stands in my way must be silenced, and I am the destroyer, and everyone else, friends, girlfriends, etc is just in my way of our goal... join me my brothers, cry no more, suffer no more, and find your true meaning

can i have your things then?:bouncy:

[Mr. Anderson]

have you ever been to a bar?

Yes. Is there any reason why you keep pestering me about it?

[Maynard]

Wait, didn't you fuck her in the ass? Hence she would have the biggest asshole ever 8-)

HA god dammit i wish i would have thought of that.... Ah well you always think of things you should have said afterwards...

[Maynard]

no i'm not drunk, i've come to the sad, sorry pathetic realization, that human life, must end, and that I and I alone must end it, and that anyone that stands in my way must be silenced, and I am the destroyer, and everyone else, friends, girlfriends, etc is just in my way of our goal... join me my brothers, cry no more, suffer no more, and find your true meaning

SO I CUT MY WRISTS AND BLACK MY EEEEYYYYYEESSSSSSSS #-o

CUT MY WRISTS AND BLACK MY EYES!!!!

SO I CAN FALL ASLEEP TONIGHT, AND DIE!

BECAUSE YOU KILL ME!


I've never seen this guy here, but you the official EMOcag, change your description NOW!

[sblymnlcrymnl]

SO I CUT MY WRISTS AND BLACK MY EEEEYYYYYEESSSSSSSS #-o

CUT MY WRISTS AND BLACK MY EYES!!!!

SO I CAN FALL ASLEEP TONIGHT, AND DIE!

BECAUSE YOU KILL ME!


I've never seen this guy here, but you the official EMOcag, change your description NOW!That is anything but emo ... he's talking about taking action, not crying in the corner and writing a shitty poem/song about it. :lol:

[Will]

Dump the bitch.

[Kayden]

That is anything but emo ... he's talking about taking action, not crying in the corner and writing a shitty poem/song about it. :lol:

O_O... but his posts... like... remind me of... like... the entrophy... of like... the... dead like... bird... and how... like... its... like... ....


Jesus... it hurts to even pretend to be that stupid.

[Mookyjooky]

I think I'm gonna take Mr. Anderson's advice...

Funny thing is, she thinks we're still ment to be together... she said in 6 months. I was like "After you fuck that guy?" - ummmm, no.

[Apossum]

I think I'm gonna take Mr. Anderson's advice...

Funny thing is, she thinks we're still ment to be together... she said in 6 months. I was like "After you fuck that guy?" - ummmm, no.

Send her a copy of this song...



You fucked up, you bitch - you really fucked up
You fucked up - you fuckin' nazi whore
Well, you dicked me over but now you'll pay
You fucked up ... Aaaahhh!!
You fucked up, you bitch - you really fucked up
You fucked up - you sloppy little shit -- bitch -- aaaahhhh
Well, you dicked me over but now you'll pay
You fucked up ... Aaaahhh!!
Well, you dicked me over but now you'll pay
You fucked up ... Aaaahhh!!

[Brak]

I think I'm gonna take Mr. Anderson's advice...

Funny thing is, she thinks we're still ment to be together... she said in 6 months. I was like "After you fuck that guy?" - ummmm, no.

Damn, man; you're doin' great. :)

When this happened to me (and it happened in a stranger fashion), it left me fucked for weeks still into the relationship, and months thereafter.

Funny thing is, I was, at one time, the guy she was seeing on the side, near the beginning of our relationship. Granted, I was an ass, as was she (mmm-mmm), but so was her boyfriend. Turns out he was cheating on her, too (and sniffing some suburban cocaine, to boot).

[Allnatural]

Funny thing is, she thinks we're still ment to be together... she said in 6 months. I was like "After you fuck that guy?" - ummmm, no. Typical. She wants to burn the candle at both ends. I've been down that road.

[Mookyjooky]

Damn, man; you're doin' great. :)

I cant say I'm doing all that great, just hiding it well... if she was like "Lets just go to a hotel and work things out" I would of taken her back no problem...

I know she's still very much in love with me, and she's heartbroken as much as I am.. but she's still trying to get with this dude. I told her that my parting gift to her, was that I wouldnt call him, (Like I originally planned) - because she has the patient of a saint to put up with my bullshit all this time.

She moves out in a couple days, we're talking again... but I'm talking about moving to New York... she's dying inside, because she doesnt want me to go.. and I probably wont, but I wont let her think that this is all going to blow over.

I think theres a 10% chance we would ever get back together, but I really dont think I wanna be around for that 10%.

[Brak]

Well, yeah... I know, inside, feelings-wise, you might not be doing so good, but the progression to "doing so good" seems very much on track.

There's other fish in the sea... just try to forget that saying when you're married, though, ok? ;)

[Javery]

I cant say I'm doing all that great, just hiding it well... if she was like "Lets just go to a hotel and work things out" I would of taken her back no problem...

I know she's still very much in love with me, and she's heartbroken as much as I am.. but she's still trying to get with this dude. I told her that my parting gift to her, was that I wouldnt call him, (Like I originally planned) - because she has the patient of a saint to put up with my bullshit all this time.

She moves out in a couple days, we're talking again... but I'm talking about moving to New York... she's dying inside, because she doesnt want me to go.. and I probably wont, but I wont let her think that this is all going to blow over.

I think theres a 10% chance we would ever get back together, but I really dont think I wanna be around for that 10%.

Definitely move to NYC. There are sooooooo many hot chicks in the city it's crazy. The summer is almost here so the tank tops and miniskirts will be out in full force. You can't walk a block in the summer here without seeing some chick you'd bang.

[Dead of Knight]

I think I'm gonna take Mr. Anderson's advice...

Funny thing is, she thinks we're still ment to be together... she said in 6 months. I was like "After you fuck that guy?" - ummmm, no.

:rofl: What a dumbass bitch! Nice reply!

[Maynard]

In all honesty, i haven't offered any real advice, but i went through a similiar situation. It sucks so god damn hard and I know EXACTLY the pain your going through. The nausea, the burning in your chest when you think about it, the hatred and wanting to fucking slit the guys throat. I know exactly how I felt afterwards. My only advice and it's the HARDEST thing to do is kill her with kindness and support. If you did truly love her, be happy for her that she found someone else. Sound sincere and tell her

"you know what i'm happy that you find someone you like so much, I wish it could have been us together but everything happens for a reason. So i wish the best of luck to the two of you."

I know this sounds crazy and you might be thinking (fuck that i'm not happy for them or this bitch). Even if you dont think this tell it to her sincerely. Let her go, thats what I had to do and long story short she was calling me 3 months later when he FUCKED some other chick and she was on her ass. I let her feel that way for about 3 weeks than i talked to her finally. Anger only fuels the situation to get worse. Kindness makes you seem humble and like theres no big deal. The way you have to think of it is this way mooky. There are 3 woman for every 1 man in the U.S. There are PLENTY of fish in the sea (i know you won't think this yet cause you want your fish, but hindsight is 20/20) and there are women out there who dont cheat. I ended up finding one and I plan on asking her to marry me soon.

Also as far as patching things up with her. Dont. Plain and simple. It might seem great for a while cause you overcame this big hurdle, but usually once a cheater, always a cheater. Plus you'll be happy at first and thinking (ya ya yay!) than about 3 months down the line you'll start questioning EVERYTHING she does. Where does she go to eat. When she goes out with the ladies, is it really the ladies? The way i looked at it is, why am i trying to patch things up with a girl who cheated on me and trying to make things work? Why dont i go find a girl who didn't betray my trust and not have to worry about what she is doing? When there are so many single woman out there, why would you want a girl who you will end up worrying about and not being able to trust? Dont hang out at bars either, thats just silly. Thats stupid advice and it doesn't matter if Mr. anderson is in high school or not, but at 16 your mindset is alot different than 24. Bars=pathetic men. Go hang out with your guy friends and try your hardest NOT to let this bother you. Again hindsight is always 20/20, i'm just telling you what i SHOULD have done when it happened to me, but now i have the chance to persuade you and hopefully help you overcome this quicker.

My final advice is to let her go.


Plus i can't believe shes moving in with this guy (is that why shes moving out)?

This has disaster written all over it man, she will fall flat on her face. I promise you she will. God has a funny way of making things come full circle.

oh and NEVER date a chick who is cheating on her BF to talk to you. That immdediately = slut. I'm suprised you lasted as long as you did. Usually those girls get bored of the guy they're with and fuck around behind the back to try something new. AND DONT LET HER KEEP YOU HANGING ON A ROPE BY TELLING YOU SHE WANTS YOU BUT CAN'T BE WITH YOU. I fell for that at first, she'll keep you hanging on JUST IN CASE this new guy doesn't work out that way she has her pillow to land on when she falls on her ass. TAKE THAT PILLOW away man, dont let her keep you dangling. GO out talk to girls, avoid nasty bars, and get crunk.

PS after you tell her how happy you are for her, wait like a week or 2 weeks and say you met someone, OMG it is the BEST feeling ever because shes not upset cause she's thinking your hanging on, until you meet someone to help you forget. Also take advantage of the rebound relationship if you can find one. Those help a ton too!

[botticus]

Funny thing is, I was, at one time, the guy she was seeing on the side, near the beginning of our relationship.
Hmm... I hope you weren't shocked that it happened to you later on. It's never a good sign when she cheats on her boyfriend to start dating you.

[Brak]

Hmm... I hope you weren't shocked that it happened to you later on. It's never a good sign when she cheats on her boyfriend to start dating you.

Oh, no. I wasn't shocked at all. In fact, I knew about it for a little while, but was in denial that it was happening to me.

[botticus]

Oh, no. I wasn't shocked at all. In fact, I knew about it for a little while, but was in denial that it was happening to me.
Fair enough.

[itspaidgasterblaster]

I cant say I'm doing all that great, just hiding it well... if she was like "Lets just go to a hotel and work things out" I would of taken her back no problem...

I know she's still very much in love with me, and she's heartbroken as much as I am.. but she's still trying to get with this dude. I told her that my parting gift to her, was that I wouldnt call him, (Like I originally planned) - because she has the patient of a saint to put up with my bullshit all this time.

She moves out in a couple days, we're talking again... but I'm talking about moving to New York... she's dying inside, because she doesnt want me to go.. and I probably wont, but I wont let her think that this is all going to blow over.

I think theres a 10% chance we would ever get back together, but I really dont think I wanna be around for that 10%.

Dude reality check she does not love you, in fact she is only using you. You are that back up guy you know. You are the guy she relies on. If she was in love with you she would have never kiss that guy, she would have not go around your back and lie about the whole thing. If you plan to move to NY because of her then you're a coward, but if you move for other reasons then more power to you. I know its hard to hear it but i think just about any guy has gone through something like that. You might feel like the time invested has some value. As soon as she kiss that guy it all went down the drain. Its okay to feel like crap because it does hurt when someone who had 4 years of your life screwed you. I think you are just trying to look for a reason to get back with her but if you do you will always be thinking is this bitch cheating on me again. Also for future reference when chicks go to girls night out its only looking to cheat or possible the chance to do it. I think its brave of you to admit that you feel like shit over this but grow some balls and get over it ( this is what my best friend told me about 7 years ago when i went through that, the funny thing is my best friend is a girl)

[mikeohara]

if you're still doubting on what to do with her ... here's my suggestion:

dropkick the fucking bitch.

[Mookyjooky]

The nausea, the burning in your chest when you think about it, the hatred and wanting to fucking slit the guys throat.

He's a guitar teacher, I was thinking of breaking all his knuckles with a ball-pin hammer.

"you know what i'm happy that you find someone you like so much, I wish it could have been us together but everything happens for a reason. So i wish the best of luck to the two of you."

I pretty much said that, and she started crying telling me not to say that, then I was like, "Oya, the reason he didnt ask if you had a boyfriend, was because he knew you had one, oldest guy trick in the book, hope HIS girlfriend doesnt mind"

Also as far as patching things up with her. Dont. Plain and simple. It might seem great for a while cause you overcame this big hurdle, but usually once a cheater, always a cheater. Plus you'll be happy at first and thinking (ya ya yay!) than about 3 months down the line you'll start questioning EVERYTHING she does. Where does she go to eat. When she goes out with the ladies, is it really the ladies? The way i looked at it is, why am i trying to patch things up with a girl who cheated on me and trying to make things work? Why dont i go find a girl who didn't betray my trust and not have to worry about what she is doing? When there are so many single woman out there, why would you want a girl who you will end up worrying about and not being able to trust? Dont hang out at bars either, thats just silly. Thats stupid advice and it doesn't matter if Mr. anderson is in high school or not, but at 16 your mindset is alot different than 24. Bars=pathetic men. Go hang out with your guy friends and try your hardest NOT to let this bother you. Again hindsight is always 20/20, i'm just telling you what i SHOULD have done when it happened to me, but now i have the chance to persuade you and hopefully help you overcome this quicker.

Yeah, she's had her chance, if she wasnt trying to make it work with him, maybe... but luckly she is, and I'm done forever.

Plus i can't believe shes moving in with this guy (is that why shes moving out)?

She's just moving into the house we were going to probably buy from her family at one point.

Good advice man, well said. I'm not going to turn this into Malice, I thought we had a good run, and thats what we had. It sucks I'll never get to see my dog again though.

[Number83]

Fool you once, shame on her.
Fool you twice, shame on you.

Trying to be sympathetic...like Mayard said once a cheat, always a cheat. It's why people who get married, get divorced 2,3,4 times. Dosen't matter if it's you, her, anyone posting on CAG. It's all the same, the prederliction is there to do it again once it was done before.

[Weedy649]

Dont wanna be a dick about it, but if you were going through personal ads, you cant fully blame her(if this wasnt going on before she found out about them).

It doesnt give her the right, but just as you have lost your faith in her, she probably did with you. Best thing for both of you is to just move on with your lives, dont worry you'll pull through.

[Mookyjooky]

This is the ultimate divorce letter, Just thought it fit the mood of this thread -

Dear Sheila

I know the counselor said we shouldn’t contact each other during our “cooling off” period, but I couldn’t wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I’d never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride’s cost me a lot of things. I’m tired of pretending I don’t miss you. I don’t care about looking bad anymore. I don’t care who makes the first move as long as one of us does.

Maybe it’s time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says: “There’s no one like you, Sheila.” I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they’re not you. They’re not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this girl at Flamingos and brought her home with me. I don’t say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation.

She was young, maybe 19; with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Tits like you wouldn’t believe and an ass that just wouldn’t quit. Every man’s dream, right? But as I sat on the couch being blown by this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we’ve made important in our lives. It’s all so superficial. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes, but you see what I’m getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Sheila? I doubt it. And I’d never really thought of that before.

I don’t know, maybe I’m just growing up a little. Later, after I’d tossed her about a half a pint of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, “Why do I feel so drained and empty?” It wasn’t just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else. Some nagging feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete?
And then it hit me. It didn’t feel the same because you weren’t there to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you. Jesus, Sheila, I’m just going crazy with out you. And everything I do just reminds me of you.

Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at the Holiday Inn lounge last year? Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she figured I wasn’t eating right without a woman around. I didn’t know what she meant till later, but that’s not the real story. Anyway, we had a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know, we’re bonking away in our old bedroom. And this tart’s a total monster in the sack. She’s giving me everything, you know, like a real woman does when she’s not hung up about her weight or her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden, she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother’s old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, so we can watch ourselves. And it’s totally hot, but it makes me sad, too. Cause I can’t help thinking, “Why didn’t Sheila ever put the mirror on the floor? We’ve had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sex toy.”

Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Vicky’s just a kid and all, but she’s got a pretty good head on her shoulders and she’s been a real friend to me during this painful time. She’s given me lots of good advice about you and about women in general. She’s pulling for us to get back together, Sheila, she really is. So we’re doing Jell-O shots in a hot bubble bath and talking about happier times. Here’s this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is think of how much she looked like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry.

And then it turns out Vicky’s really into the whole anal thing, that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I’m thrusting inside your baby sister’s cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you? It’s true Sheila. In your heart you must know it. Don’t you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances away and start fresh? I think we can. If you feel the same please, please, please let me know.

Otherwise, can you please let me know where the freeking remote is.

[darkmere]

I think theres a 10% chance we would ever get back together, but I really dont think I wanna be around for that 10%.
NEVER, i repeat NEVER GO BACK! especially if she cheated on you.

such actions would not only forgive her, but would justify in her mind that such actions in the future are acceptable because "that idiot will always forgive me and take me back."

if you ever take her back you may as well check your balls at the door, you won't need them.

[Kayden]

:rofl: That reminds me of a guy I knew in HS. Everytime they got in an arguement the girl would dump him and then take him back like a week later. However, everytime they got back together she'd 'reset' their relationship. So they'd have to re-start with holding hands and building up to kissing again.

Poor, stupid, blue-balled bastard.

NEVER, i repeat NEVER GO BACK! especially if she cheated on you.

such actions would not only forgive her, but would justify in her mind that such actions in the future are acceptable because "that idiot will always forgive me and take me back."

if you ever take her back you may as well check your balls at the door, you won't need them.

[darkmere]

He's a guitar teacher, I was thinking of breaking all his knuckles with a ball-pin hammer.
gotta play devil's advocate for a second...

do you know for a fact that he knew she had a boyfriend? i seriously doubt she was all like "i have a boyfriend, wanna make out?" chances are she told him she was single.

my point is that everyone always wants to beat the crap out of the other guy that in all likelihood never knew you existed. what about the bitch that cheated? she's the one who misled both of you. if anyone deserves a beatdown, it's the cheater.

now, if you can prove he knew for a fact that she was dating you, then by all means, beat him if it makes you feel better.

[auralia]

you cal always look at it this way at least you found out before you got married and there were children involved. If you do plan on trying to make it work get some councling even if it's just a religious leader type person (perk on using a church is usuallyd on't really even need to belong and they are free if you can't afford aprofessional).

[Kayden]

Even if he knew... its not his fault shes a whore. :lol:

[Steggy]

wow that letter from that guy is hillarious... I sure hope he was not serious. Oh well, it was a good read.

[KwanzaaTimmy]

This is the ultimate divorce letter, Just thought it fit the mood of this thread -

Dear Sheila

I know the counselor said we shouldn’t contact each other during our “cooling off” period, but I couldn’t wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I’d never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride’s cost me a lot of things. I’m tired of pretending I don’t miss you. I don’t care about looking bad anymore. I don’t care who makes the first move as long as one of us does.

Maybe it’s time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says: “There’s no one like you, Sheila.” I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they’re not you. They’re not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this girl at Flamingos and brought her home with me. I don’t say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation.

She was young, maybe 19; with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Tits like you wouldn’t believe and an ass that just wouldn’t quit. Every man’s dream, right? But as I sat on the couch being blown by this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we’ve made important in our lives. It’s all so superficial. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes, but you see what I’m getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Sheila? I doubt it. And I’d never really thought of that before.

I don’t know, maybe I’m just growing up a little. Later, after I’d tossed her about a half a pint of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, “Why do I feel so drained and empty?” It wasn’t just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else. Some nagging feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete?
And then it hit me. It didn’t feel the same because you weren’t there to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you. Jesus, Sheila, I’m just going crazy with out you. And everything I do just reminds me of you.

Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at the Holiday Inn lounge last year? Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she figured I wasn’t eating right without a woman around. I didn’t know what she meant till later, but that’s not the real story. Anyway, we had a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know, we’re bonking away in our old bedroom. And this tart’s a total monster in the sack. She’s giving me everything, you know, like a real woman does when she’s not hung up about her weight or her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden, she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother’s old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, so we can watch ourselves. And it’s totally hot, but it makes me sad, too. Cause I can’t help thinking, “Why didn’t Sheila ever put the mirror on the floor? We’ve had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sex toy.”

Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Vicky’s just a kid and all, but she’s got a pretty good head on her shoulders and she’s been a real friend to me during this painful time. She’s given me lots of good advice about you and about women in general. She’s pulling for us to get back together, Sheila, she really is. So we’re doing Jell-O shots in a hot bubble bath and talking about happier times. Here’s this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is think of how much she looked like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry.

And then it turns out Vicky’s really into the whole anal thing, that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I’m thrusting inside your baby sister’s cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you? It’s true Sheila. In your heart you must know it. Don’t you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances away and start fresh? I think we can. If you feel the same please, please, please let me know.

Otherwise, can you please let me know where the freeking remote is.

I can't help but smile and go about my day with renewed vigor, thanks to that post right there. If the world allowed custom soundtracks, this man would be called Maurice, the Gangster of Love.

A toast of Jack to you Mook, Get through it and get back to living.

[sblymnlcrymnl]

It sucks I'll never get to see my dog again though.Fuck that, take the dog. It's Man's best friend. :lol:

[wbc1228]

I though Mookyjooky was a loser as I was reading his so called " ultimate divorce letter". That was until I got to the last paragraph.

Way to go!
You tha man!

[Kayden]

I can't help but smile and go about my day with renewed vigor, thanks to that post right there. If the world allowed custom soundtracks, this man would be called Maurice, the Gangster of Love.

A toast of Jack to you Mook, Get through it and get back to living.

:rofl: That letter is awesome... and for some odd reason makes me really horny...

[pacifickarma]

I can relate to your experience. I once dated a girl for 3 years before suspecting she cheated. Granted, I suspected she was cheating with another girl, but I still consider that cheating. Long story short, I literally walked away from her as she lay crying on the sidewalk in front of her house. Now, I'm engaged to a gorgeous Asian girl who loves sports, videogames, & drinking. The moral of the story: Lose the cheater and get yourself a hot Asian chick!

[Michaellvortega]

You know what you have to do, be a man and dont send childish letters or BS to her.

[evanft]

I can relate to your experience. I once dated a girl for 3 years before suspecting she cheated. Granted, I suspected she was cheating with another girl, but I still consider that cheating. Long story short, I literally walked away from her as she lay crying on the sidewalk in front of her house. Now, I'm engaged to a gorgeous Asian girl who loves sports, videogames, & drinking. The moral of the story: Lose the cheater and get yourself a hot Asian chick!

Ya know, you COULD have tried to set up a three way before breaking up with her. I'm just saying...

[the3rdkey]

That's what you get for having a tiny dick.

Sorry dude.

LMMFOA!!!!!!!