First published blog of the new year.

Funny. Most people tend to make these "new years resolutions" to try to, in most cases that i've heard, better their lives...or make drastic changes in order to have something specific happen.

Me?

No such thing.

I've only been smoking for about four months now. Despite all the shit that people have been giving me about it (like I don't know what smoking does to you... especially since my own grandmother died from having smoked a ridiculous amount all her life), I have no desire to quit. Hell, I only smoke a pack every two days at most. Although apparently it's inevitable that i'm going to end up smoking more and more as I progress. It pisses me off when people look at me, and somehow have the gall to tell me how exactly my life is going to be like in the future.

I don't care if you're a nurse, a doctor, a psychologist, whatever. You don't know what my life will be like. That is up to me. And me only.

While ditching class today, I ironically went to my old middle school (it was raining, and I was out of things to do to kill time...) to go visit the school nurse, who I had developed a semi-close relationship with during my time there. I walked in, and I started to ask her how things were...until we eventually got to the point that i'm still smoking, and how she thought that I would never do something so "stupid." Choosing to smoke has nothing to do with intelligence, you ing idiot. It's a personal preference. Okay? It would be one thing if I was choosing to smoke, and ignored the fact that it's possible for me to develop lung cancer/heart disease/emphysema, however I ACKNOWLEDGE that these things are possible (and control my smoking habit, contrary to you randomly telling a lady that walked in, who probably doesn't even care, that I smoke a crazy amount..with no knowledge whatsoever as to how much I smoke.)

...Anyway. She kept on, and proceeded to tell me that I was going to end up just the way my father did. ..My father basically dropped out of high school and worked as a security guard for 15 years, until his diabetes got the best of him (since he never really took care of it, at all) and now he can't even drive...and can barely see. Probably has a few months left to live.

Pretty ridiculous. Right? All this because I smoke a controllable amount. It's not like i'm on ing meth or anything. And hell, marijuana isn't as bad for you as cigarettes are, but is generally frowned upon in the adult world, and I don't even do that. So what the does she want from me?

Honestly. I feel like I never should have started talking to the idiot. She argued that I was going to be on an oxygen tank machine (whatever the hell you call them) when I was older, and I told her "You don't know that."

Guess what she said? You probably don't even have to. Adults are adults.

"Oh, yes I do!"

No you don't you ing idiot. Seriously. Some people smoke their whole lives and don't have to go through that.

She said that she knows a lot more about what smoking does to the body than I do.

I replied: "You probably do. However, I know a lot more about ME, than you ever will."

..Those thirty minutes that I was attempting to kill probably should have been spent elsewhere. If you don't accept my habits/hobbies, which are a part of me, then you don't accept me as a whole. In other words, go yourself if you just want to be around me, when i'm doing what 'you' want or feel I should do.

People who play that shit are so ing narrowminded. Sadly, I can attribute that to, possibly, the entirety of my family.

Natural, human feelings are probably the only things keeping me caring about my family, in all honestly. Because from a logical point of view, I don't like any of them outside of that. My family is full of naive misunderstanding people, who claim to know about me, what I have sufficient evidence to point to the contrary.

..Whatever. I feel like i'm trailing off again.

Then again, to be fair, I didn't really have an intended destination with this blog of mine. I just wanted something to do to kill time. It's nice to read people's responses/edit them if they piss me off. And well, writing, bitching, and dreaming, are what I do best.