First of all I want to say this one goes out to Spyder187. Why you might ask? Because he has been so supportive of the time my "buddy" takes to play out of date games and write reviews. With that being said, I want to take a moment to thank Spyder187 for encouraging my "buddy" to continue reviewing games and encouraging me to post his reviews here on CAG. Without further ado, here is my "buddies" timely review of Dark Void...


FRIDAY, APRIL 30, 2010

Dark Void - Review

I'm pretty shitty at driving simulator and flight simulator games. I want to disclose that right up front. So when I review a driving or flying game, it's going to be colored by the fact that I suck at them. Does that mean I'm bad at games? No, of course not! Look at my gamer score! It's much better than yours; ergo, I am better at games than you. (If it's not better than yours, just wait. It will be soon.)

Dark Void is a hybrid shooter/flying simulator. While its weakest part is its story, and its second weakest part was the voice acting of the protagonist, what really blew this game for me was the controls. Controller sensitivity was a real issue. I had the sensitivity set to the lowest possible setting, making the 1st person shooter side a bit less than optimal, but it was still so oversensitive while flying that anything more than the slightest touch on the stick sent my careening off to the side. It was like a 17 year old virgin making out with a girl for the first time. He's slow and awkward while it's on his terms, but as soon as she whips out the jubblies, he creams all over his briefs.

Since about half the game involves flying, I found the lack of fine-tuned control annoying. When it was easier to hijack flying saucers by hitting a single button and going into a minigame than it was to fly behind them and shoot them down, I figure the game missed its mark on a fun flying simulator.

Vertical cover was another thing the game sold itself on. But it turns out it's cool for only about a minute or two, and then you realize it's not much different than normal cover, except that you're less maneuverable. And since they seem to inexplicably remove vertical cover for about a third of the game toward the end, I had forgotten all about it for a while until it suddenly showed up at the end at a relatively unintuitive location. So that was an interesting idea which wasn't married to the game properly.

So on overall gameplay, I have to give it about a 6; upgrading weapons was okay, and standard shooting was, well, standard. But the flight controls and poorly implemented vertical cover left much to be desired, considering they were the selling points.

Graphics were nice, and the sound was nice. Maybe 8s on both of those. But what I love reviewing the most is the story in games like this. And this left me plenty to work with.

Spoiler alert!

So the game is CALLED 'Dark Void,' but it was certainly not a void, and there was certainly very little that could be considered dark. Aliens want to take over earth. Sure, if you really internalize that thought, and think about what that would mean for you, your family, and humankind, it could be considered dark and terrifying. But thanks to this story's plot, design and heroic voice acting, it's not.

So you are basically fighting aliens that get through earth through a series of portals, one of which is located in the Bermuda Triangle. And that's where all the victims of the triangle go - this other world, which I think is like a transition world between Earth and the alien homeworld. And you have to fight with the humans that live in this transition world, the "Dark Void," to prevent the full-on alien invasion from passing through and getting to France.
Not kidding. France. Why France? Because the aliens are controlling the Nazis. Or something like that. Because Nazis aren't bad enough. You have to throw Nazi Aliens into the mix. I wonder if in Dark Void 2 we'll learn that Concentration Camps were really just Alien Feeding Pens or something equally obnoxious and stupid. (What is it with games and ing around with Nazis. I LOVE me a good Nazi-killing game. Nazis are perfect enemies. Don't with them by making them aliens, robots or demons!)

You don't learn much about the aliens, but here are two things I picked up. First: They don't believe in mass production. Sure, there ships all look alike, but I had to shut down two different shield generator ships, and found that the control panels I had to smash were in two completely different locations on these ships. So kudos for the aliens thinking outside the box.

Second, they don't know how to build tunnels. At some point, you have to go through a tunnel that leads to, I don't really know, another set of canyons that the aliens live in. And so you go through this tunnel where the aliens come from, to find that it's full of pipes and obstructions that you have to navigate around. Not the brightest idea if your constantly sending ships through it. Somebody's gonna have a fender bender!

Holy ing turds! As if the writers anticipated my "appreciation" of the story, at one point your guide says, "too much is made of understanding." Well, that's good, because this story is ing retarded. Even "little things" reflect the quality of this writing. At some points you have to rewire some controls to open some doors and shit. Apparently, skilled electricians in the 1940s rewire things by TEARING OUT A FISTFUL OF WIRES. Way to go, hero whose name I never cared to learn! You are one skilled electrician!

Another awesome moment is when you get your helmet about 2/3 through the game. They tell you it'll give you better radar. But it doesn't. It seems to have absolutely no identifiable function. When do you get better radar? When you beat the game.

And that may be the final blow on this game - it practically demands that you play it more than once. All your upgrades and abilities carry over to your next playthrough, which explains why I could barely afford to even partially upgrade half my equipment. Replayability in games is a great thing. The designers forgot, however, to make me WANT to replay it.

Dark Void gets a 5.