that I'm a father. 4 years ago I was living at home with my parents staying up until 6 am every night working a deadbeat job as a 3rd key at Gamestop. Had zero aspirations for myself and really could careless. My girlfriend at the time(now wife) had really wanted to try moving in together since we had dated so long (since sophmore year in high school with a couple minor slip ups along the road). I always thought if I moved out I would be on my own for awhile but I said what the hell and tried it out.

We both didn't have very well paying jobs so we had to live in her parents place for awhile. They charged us 400 bucks a month to rent a room and I was mad for awhile over it, but down the line it taught us how to better manage our finances and really prepared us well for the road ahead(besides they gave us the 3 or 4 months "rent" we paid them back when we got our own apartment).

Fast Forward a year after having our first apartment and we were married moved into a two bedroom apartment. After being married a year you fast forward and my game room becomes my childs room. Man hard to believe. Fast forward another year and our apartment becomes a home. Our first house, first mortgage. Sure I've had to give up a lot of things along the way but man is it all worth it.

But for some reason last weekend I did something I am so ashamed of...something I never thought in a million years I would do. Something that I would do if I had gotten my own place not this life that I love so much now. Its hard to believe that last weekend...I got thrown out of a bar.

It was one of my really close friends birthday, we decided to go to a local minor league baseball game and after the game we headed to a bar for a few drinks. I don't drink much this might be the 2nd time I've gone out drinking in as many years and I really hit the drinks hard. I took 5 shots of some nasty ass rupplemint I think it was called and then had 4 whiskey and cokes before my buddy told me to close my tab out. I did as he suggested and one of our other friends wanted us to go to a different bar where his cousin was. So we left and headed across town to a different bar.

Ahh and here it is, our friends cousin finds out its our friends birthday and he throws 200 dollars on the table and asks what we are drinking. After that the night is black. I have no recollection of what happened and it makes me ashamed of myself. I woke up and didn't realize where I was. It was a scary feeling and I saw a note "Your in the garage and your phone is Lost". At this time I was still a little ed from all the alcohol and noticed sure enought I was sleeping on a mattress in my garage. I went inside and looked in the mirror noticed my clothes were soaking wet and I had throw up on my shirt sleeve. Nice.

I stripped down and tried to sneak into the bed and my wife awoke and gave me a look that was both anger and dissapointment. Then I was told what led me to the events of my being in the garage. Apprantly at the bar I had broke a shot glass after having several more drinks. I offered to pay for it and then ran and knocked over a table with a bunch of beer bottles and glasses on it so they had my buddies take me out of the bar. One of our friends with us was passed out in the parking lot and our ride had left us for a girl.

On the way out the door I yelled to a bouncer 4 times my size "your not on my level bitch whoo" he took it in good spirits which my physical health thanked him for. I probably wouldn't have the ability to type this if he had taken it seriously. Well my best friend and god father to my son had gotten to the bar late. The birthday guy asked me if I wished we had just all stayed in a kicked it on xbox live and i threw up on him .

They put me in the back of godfathers girlfriends car to which I threw up all over. It was an Xterra so I was pretty much in the trunk. I had to clean that the next day. They got me home to where I puked all over my porch, my shoes, myself, godfather and garage. That next day was pure hell.

Hung over out my mind, ashamed that I would act so young, so foolish. Seeing my son the next morning, doubled with my wife being dissapointed/mad just made me realize what an idiot I was. I don't know why I type this I guess because of the guilt I feel.

I don't ever go to bars anyway so I won't be missing out on anything but the reason I will never drink again is a pretty good one...



---Ashamed Father and Husband.

Sidenote: My wife has since forgiven me but I haven't forgiven myself. This is something that will take awhile for me to get over and even though I laugh about it now with my buddies that were involved, it hurts me to think about. The pictures taken of me are pretty ridculous also, I would have posted them but ahh didn't feel the need for the cagsphere to see me in my dumbest hour.