tl;dr

So I got an e-mail forward from my mom like every other day that ends in 'y' and this is something that she actually mentioned to us so I read it. I even found the source of the article to make sure it's real. Anyway I have a couple of problems with it so I'm going to put that here. However as this topic is completely outside the interest range for most people who read my blog... and actually most people. I'll be burying it.

Article

-- To be Edit'd in later when I'm off the front page NM I'll put it up sooner --
Like my PS3 defense article this isn't a defense of Sarah Palin herself but an argument against this author's writing style. There's plenty to dislike about Sarah Palin. I'm not a fan for the record I agree she's ignorant, and shouldn't be allowed in the political door much less down to the arena, but the way this author words this article I have to call out the bs.

Quote: Statistically, America is now number 23 in the world in educational achievement.Look to America’s fascination with Sarah Palin and how she has catapulted ignorance into a multi-million dollar enterprise. Americans on her level can’t get enough of her.

If you're gonna throw out a number like 23 can I please get a reference? How about you just say America is no longer the top dog. Maybe you haven't seen Sarah Palin. She's the hottest thing in politics this decade. There's a reason they make porn parodies of Palin; because I want to have sex with her. I wouldn't let her rule a dormitory but if Bristol wants a little brother or sister I am willing to make that happen

Quote: The more she mocks intelligence and intellectualism, the more she increases her financial value. Not able to articulate a complete sentence, among her followers this is the new norm. As she sputters, sparks incoherent phrases of derision and mockery, the more they love her.

Stupid is stupid no doubt but this author seems to have trouble understanding the concept of relatability. I mean i get it. if I were slow of speech and of average intelligence I would more relate to someone who speaks like I speak. Southerners prefer people who speak with the southern drawl. Just hearing it suggest that in some way you come from the same background. That maybe the person is capable of understanding the intricacies of your life that you are unable to put in words. if i only spoke in 1 or 2 syllable words I might think that someone else who spoke that way could understand me. Just imagine what it would be like having someone in office (the highest office even) who was capable of understanding my experience.

Quote: She has become a household name, and has risen to the level of the people who are well known by just one name, like Cher, Oprah, Aretha, Bono, Heidi, Marilyn, Einstein, Ike, Mike, Teddy (both the first and the second – Theodore Roosevelt (also known as the rough rider) and Edward Moore Kennedy.

wait what!?!?! grammatically it almost makes sense but the implication is that Sarah Palin is a household name known by one name (the given name as demonstrated by this huge list, btw who the blazes is "Heidi" or "Mike" and why isn't "John" or "Harry" on that list?) The only person on that list who isn't a first name is Einstein. The rest of these people are known by their first name. Palin isn't known by her first name (see what I did there?). On top of that what exactly is wrong with becoming a household name? Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton, these are household names and they haven't done anything special. Knock off Cher, Oprah, Aretha,Bono, Einstein, and Teddy then tell me what Heidi, Marilyn, Ike, and Mike... oh wait.. is that Mike and Ike because then we're cooking with gas. anyway what have THOSE 4 done of any worth? Stick to the politics. Attacking Palin for becoming popular is like when conservatives attacked Obama claiming he was more of a pop icon than a proper presidential candidate.

Quote: Palin has produced two books written by others and she has traveled the country greeted with admiration as she grows richer and richer. They call it folksy. They call it relating to her base. The more inarticulate she is, they more they love her.Though she preaches abstinence, she is now the grandmother of a grandchild born out of wedlock, whose teen-aged mother is now capitalizing on promiscuity. On the speakers circuit, Bristol Palin can command in excess of ten thousand dollars telling teens that she made a mistake, and abstinence is the best policy. In other words, the old fashioned, don’t do as I do, do as I say you should do.

ok this is the part that got me to writing this but on second read it does emphasize that she's "capitalizing on promiscuity". I'll let that part go because it's one thing to have an incident but it's another to capitalize on it. But after that the author accuses them of engaging in "do as i say not as i do". I think that's unfair. Anyone else remember Scared Straight? neither do I but I remember when they did that reunion show. That was supposed to be a big deal right. Isn't that the same thing. A bunch of convicts saying "do as i say not as i did". This is what Bristol is doing (in theory; i haven't actually heard her speak) she's saying go abstinent if you don't you'll end up like me.

Of course the issue then becomes that technically she is implying she didn't want her baby. if I've learned nothing from American media it's that noone wants to be an unwanted baby. It doesn't matter how much your parents love you or that they kept you or that they've never shown any hint of a lack-joy that you're alive but don't let any child find out that it wasn't lovingly planned and concieved that's the end of the world right there. That's how strippers and porn stars are created. Heck I've seen 4-5 episodes of Gilmore Girls and I think I remember that conversation happening like 16 times. "Yes (in spite of the fact that you were a teenage prom baby, that I named wrongly when I was high on legal drugs) I always wanted you without a doubt and never had any reservations". This reminds me of LeBrawn James speaking on NPR and like most sports athletes he's not the most intellectual guy but that's just bashing . He was actually more well spoken than I expected. He did however note that he was born when his mom was 16, and how he didn't want that life for himself. 2 minutes later he said his first kid he had when he was 18. Way to dream big guy.. dream big.

Quote: This mother and daughter duo are charming the dollars out of the pockets of the lesser educated people who identify with their common touch.

AH HAH. so you admit it. people identify with their common ways. Again that's NOT a bad thing. People should feel their politicians can understand them. That's what politicians are for after all.

Quote: Together as a package or solo, they are gold, pure and simple. At a time when America is far behind much of the industrialized world, and learning and knowledge are the keys to responding to the technology era, the Palins are taking America back to the Stone Age. Remember the Stone Age

No you ignorant twat. I don't remember the stone age. I realize you're an old looking broad but I bet you don't either.

Quote: when cave men were first learning how to use language, they spoke in sputters and single words and used body language to communicate.

You have a degree in public administration. I'm not saying you didn't pay attention in history class. I'm not saying you're wrong. I am saying you're not an anthropologist. Why are you trying to elaborate on this 'stone age' metaphor when it's not germane to the topic at hand? Are you really accusing Sarah Palin of speaking like she's in the Stone Age?

Quote: We are in a knowledge-based race to develop and train a generation to get ahead in the age of technology and innovation. Perhaps we are on the wrong path. The Palins seem to have found the keys to the kingdom – ignorance and promiscuity. America seems to have an insatiable appetite for both.Today, the quitter governor of Alaska, whose only aim seems to be to spread ignorance and hatred for the Obamas, took a swipe at Our First Lady, Michelle Obama.

how about you elaborate on this instead of explaining the stone age. After all I understood what the stone age thing was when you said "Stone Age" you didn't need to explain it. This however is obviously some sort of then-current event. How about you explain what happened here so that maybe when this e-mail gets forwarded to me again next year I'd actually understand what's going on.

Quote: Adjudged the most powerful woman in the world, Michelle Obama, a Princeton University graduate, an attorney and a Harvard law school graduate is a beautiful, well poised, articulate and gracious lady. Palin, by contrast took 6 years and 5 colleges before she could earn a Bachelor’s degree in communications, is now the reigning queen of the trailer park crowd.

she may be stupid for a politician but she's arguably beautiful, and possibly gracious. Ya might want to work on that metaphor because I think a college graduate as ruler of the trailer park doesn't have the shock-sting that you think it does. Is M. Obama really the most powerful woman in the world? I'm not even attacking at this point I'm genuinely curious.

Quote: Palin, also by contrast could easily qualify as the most ignorant woman in the world, yet she lashed out jealously at First Lady Michelle Obama.

I wish more people would realize they're not J. Swift and stop trying to use hyperbole. With hyperbole you either go big or you go home. Anything else just makes you look stupid. Suggesting that we eat babies to solve the food crisis is insanely genius, but Palin the most ignorant woman in the world? really? She's gotta be smarter than Paris Hilton ehh? have you seen "The Simple Life". I haven't but I've seen the trailers and by gum that's a stupid girl. BTW: how much hotter is Nicole Ritchie in this picture? This is with proper make-up and primping and the best I can say bout Paris is that she's taller?

Quote: Palin’s status in life is solidified and personified as the new low in the dumbing down of America. Bristol Palin, a chip off the old block is doing what her mother should be doing.

I'm not sure the author has an understanding on what 'chip off the old block means'. You can't imply that she's exactly like her mother and then NOT like her mother. At least not in the same sentence. Look how many lines she separated between saying she doesn't get why anyone would like Sarah and then admitting that she's common like her fanbase.

Quote: Sarah should be on the speaker’s circuit saying that American women should not do as she did, but should stay in school, get a good education and add to the body of knowledge as the scholarly First Lady Michelle Obama does. Bristol’s message of don’t do what I did is hollow.

so Sarah should be speaking "don't do what I did" but Bristol speaking "don't do what I did" is hollow? This is what I'm annoyed at if you're going to make an argument at least keep to the argument. The author should either a) just not mention Bristol or Sarah that way you can pick one stance on "do as i say" and stick to it or b) explain to me why Sarah SHOULD be going "do as i say" and why Bristol shouldn't be doing "do as i say". Why is teenage pregnancy different from education?

Quote: Her practice abstinence message would be more effective if she had practiced what she now preaches.

and Sarah's "go to school" message would be more effective if she hadn't dicked around. So why aren't you applauding Sarah for taking your advice?

Quote: The new cottage industry should not be ignorance and promiscuity because that only causes us to fall further behind in the race to the top for America to regain her position as the most admired and most imitated country in the industrialized world.

here is an interesting game. Tons of people practice abstinence successfully. Even more people don't have sex with someone unless they know them well. Here's the game find a TV show that shows one of those people as normal and not say hybrid nuns or partial priests. 'oh no she's a 22 year old virgin, she didn't have sex in high school or have a lesbian phase in college. She must be a jesus freak who has never been kissed and probably never even held hands with a boy'. Promiscuity isn't coming from the politics maybe it's coming from the TV that tells you everyone has a three date rule for witholding sex. Promiscuity is sort of a hot button issue for me, not because I was abused or that I'm necessarily a virgin or anything like that. I just see it as a giant hypocrisy that noone is talking about. I could easily see stupid people thinking Herpes gave you the strength to climb mountains based on the commercials. I'll ruin one of my television ideas for you right here. I have an idea for a character he's a sidekick like Shawn Hunter in boy meets world. He's not the king of the school but he's relatively popular with the ladies but he doesn't go all the way. It's not a hidden secret or anything we have to wait 2 seasons to find out. It's just something his friends already know and don't care about, and for kicks I'll make him Jewish, and at no time during the entire series will there be a subplot involving an athlete questioning his manhood because he's never slept with the girls he dates. I might even introduce a smallish Asian girl who becomes obsessed with him in season 2. At one point I thought about making him the all knowing ladies man whom others come to for advice like Guru-Kid in recess but that sort of ruins his reality and I want him to be a real person. I haven't quite figured out his flaw. Maybe he'll be stupid like Shawn Hunter, definitely want to avoid something too sexy like Manorexia, or what not. If he plays sports it got to be a second tier sport like maybe field (shotput, long jump) or rugby or something. I have really great ideas for supporting characters. One day I should bash out a main guy and see what happens.

Quote: The new cottage industry should be what President Obama proposes in his initiative to elevate the American standard of excellence with his “Race to the Top.”

You know I forgot to mention how much I love Palin's show. I haven't seen it but I fully support it. Palin should be the figure of Alaska. Alaska is beautiful. Palin is attractive. I fail to see why this doesn't work. Let her rule the TV. Putting the Obamas on day time talk shows is a waste of potential but Palin on tv showcasing Alaska.. that's a perfect fit right there. Please applaud me for not making a joke about my penis right here. I have restraint.

My point isn't that Palin deserves a break in any way, but that Helen Burleson (judging from the sloppy contents of this article) is not someone you should be looking at for political commentary, or quoting for political arguments. I'm against Palin and I find these errors in logic. Imagine what the conservatives would say. I didn't even bother to attack the technical issues because attacking her for the lack and double spacing inconsistencies is like arresting someone for murder and throwing on a j-walking charge on the list. Helen you're probably a good person but you lost sight of the goal in a fit of rage probably over whatever happened with S. Palin vs M. Obama.

TMI I think I might be constipated. They alway ask me about that when I go see a doctor and I've never really considered it before but long story short as of yesterday I'm going to take this under analysis