I acknowledge that people rarely see themselves the way others perceive them, but frankly, I'm not sure what stance I should take here. I believe an entire group of people at my university sees me as a charity case (pardon the political incorrectness).

Let me describe my current situation for you and expand from there. I'm young, work full-time and enrolled in an university full-time. My work isn't much. I share expenses with a roommate and barely able to put anything into savings each month. I'd try to get something else, but finding work these days is difficult. Especially when you don't have a flexible schedule. I remember back when I was in high school, I used to walk into a store and simply talk to the employees and get offered jobs. Now, unless I'm willing to go a few cents above minimum wage, I can't expect to find much else.


But that's alright, my college expenses are covered through a few scholarships -- but in turn, I'm forced to study and cram constantly in order to maintain them. Out of my small circle of friends, I'm probably the only one that opens his or her textbooks on a daily basis (hell, maybe weekly). If I were as smart as them, I probably wouldn't have to either. Least I got good looks.

I suppose I'm not getting the stereotypical college experience. Can't say that it wouldn't be nice to let loose a bit, but I'm happy. I wouldn't change a thing (minus hitting the Megabucks and finding somebody to love).

Sure, my spare time is short, but it's not as if I can't find time to myself. I mean, I log on CAG around six times a day to check and respond to the threads I've subscribed too. And I belong to three different clubs at my university.

Without going into a lot of detail, I basically belong to a film, a fitness, and a game club. The game one, I rarely ever attend these days. But they're all great people to sit around a table and spend an afternoon with. The fitness one is wonderful, and I wish I could see them all more than simply once or twice a week. Were it not for my chronic bronchitis, I'd see if I could meet up with members at least four times a week.

The film one is great too. They host a large amount of events, and have both comical and serious shows/discussions each week. But I apparently don't rub them the right way.

It's a large club, at least twenty people attend both meetings each week with several more coming in for events. Sadly, I have lectures to attend during both of the meeting. Tried to work it around my schedule before, and failed.

I'm either showing up very late, or leaving early -- nobody seems to mind (I hope), I'm just a minor distraction when a film is on the screen. I just take a seat and start watching. When something isn't on the screen, I take a seat and start reading one of my texts or go over an assignment due soon. In rare occasions, sometimes bust out my DS or browse on my laptop. That's not very social of me, I agree, but I don't think I'm socially inept to the point of it needing to be a constant conversation by the other members.

It's loud in there, but thankfully, I'm not deaf or blind.

"Why doesn't he talk to anyone..."
"He's kinda creepy..."
"Do you think he has any friends..."
"See that guy with the curly hair, can you go flirt with him or something..."
"Hm, he looks kinda familiar, doesn't he..."
"Follow him and say something..."

Last semester, somebody had the gull to call me a loser directly to my face. Granted, I admired that more than the people talking about me a few seats down, but still, not certain what that was about. I just gave him a thumbs up and went back to browsing on my laptop. Since then, he's probably tried to talk to me one or two other times. To be honest, I tuned him out completely, which isn't helping me case about not being antisocial.. but yeah.

If anybody ever struck up a conversation with me, I never went, "sorry I'm studying" or "could you leave me alone, I'm busy." On the flip side, in the middle of a conversation, I did get a "Okay, I'll meet you later." Ran into an officer of the club on campus one time, and tried to speak to him and he just kept walking. It's possible he could have just not seen me as I opened the door for him though.

Really, I'm not antisocial. Shy, sure, and a bit busy. Definitely not socially inept.

Heh, look at me. Whom am I trying to convince...

I'd consider going to the officers about it, but frankly, even they seem to speak down on me.

I don't know.

It's not as if I joined the club to meet people. I happen to like the subject matter, and I know for certain that all those eccentric (in a good way) people do too. Frankly, I'm considering just leaving the thing outright. I don't know if I should be offended or not at their behavior. Some of them seem to want to befriend me in some sense, but it's clearly out of pity.

-shrugs-

I'm probably coming off as a huge jackass to them too though. I guess I'll just show up every now -and-then for the rest of the semester. And not return the next. I love the club, but hate the people.

Today there was a large event that I forgot that was going on. I was looking forward to it earlier in the semester, but I could only be there for an hour, so I just walked out without giving it a second thought.

Sorry for the blog not being video game related.. Just had to get this outta me. I'll get to an other blog about video games soon. Thanks for reading folks.