aye WHADDUP!! anybody here playing GAMES?!?! where my gamers at?!?! say HOOOOOOOO~~~!!!

for realz tho, this year I aint play as many games as last year, but the good part is all the games I played thus far have been good!! No Limbo and Alan Wake for me this year!! Last time I played a game that was truly terrible, I was able to stop and sell it before actually sitting my azz down and finishing it. Hecks yeah, take that LA Noire!!!

or at least... that's what I thought!! It didnt take long but a game finally crept in and made me play it in entirety despite realizing how bad it was!! and that game is;



El Shaddai. Ascension of the Butt Crack. maaaaaaan fukk this game!!

this game is like like if a bunch of ppl were smoking crack and made a game about smoking crack that's about smoking crack,

then that game would be El Shaddai. Ascencion of the meta crack!!

We doin crack son! DAT COCAIiiiiiiiiiiiNNnnnnA Manggggg.

maaaan nothing about this game makes any sense~!!!

I mean got dang! like you're fighting monsters, then u walk a bit, then fight more monsters,

then u see the boss and he talks to you, so u fight the boss,

but then u die, but instead of dying u just go to another area and fight more monsters,

then the screen goes blank, and you're in another area fighting monsters again,

then you're side scrolling for no reason at all,

then when you're done, u fight even more monsters,

then u see your friend talking to his crack dealer on the phone,

then u see the boss and fight him, only to die again,

then u see a little girl and follow her, then u fight a pair of pigs,

and the whole time none of it makes any sense!!!

I dont even kno if Im playing the game right!!!!

at this point I'm like the fukk am I playing?!?!

u got like these Hello Kitty characters playing on the beach and hula hoop,

until one of them eats another one and turns into sum kinda monster,

then u get on a motorcycle for no reason,

and u drive it til u get to the rock concert,

and finally u go insane and battle your inner demons or sum shyt...

I swear man this fukkyn game...

but then finally u beat it.

there was this part on the last stage where you're climbing rocks n shyt and the narrator is all like babbling about why he's the bad guy or something and he's all like "Do you understand??"

and I'm sitting here playing the game like NO!! No I do not understand!!!!

anyways... that's my review of El Shamokin Dai Crack.

I look forward to never playing this game again!!

it is now where it rightfully belongs... on ebay.