[KGBcast] WWE Royal Rumble Favorite Moments and Predictions
Around this time every year, the wrestling dirtsheets start buzzing over WWE Royal Rumble hype and rumors due to the high-possibility of surprise returns. Last year showcased the return of Booker T and Kevin Nash from their stint in TNA, but we’ve seen WWE Legends, celebrities, and supposedly injured wrestlers show up in past twenty five years of Rumble matches. Since Kurtis (@kayfabe) and I (@hoarr) from the KGBcast are major wrestling fans, we decided to list our favorite moments from the years gone by and had a quick discussion over who we can expect to see tonight!
Did we miss a standout moment and it’s bugging you? Think you know who is going to show up tonight? Feel free to comment!
The Rumble is one of the few things that the WWE does every year that gets me genuinely excited. Growing up in a household without cable television, I would have to resort to renting VHS tapes to get my wrasslin’ fix, and Royal Rumble PPVs were always a sure bet for an entertaining weekend. It was hard to pick, but I managed to sort out my five favorite Rumble moments from over the years.
Hulk Hogan Meets the Ultimate Warrior [Royal Rumble 1990]
After the Warrior eliminated Shawn Michaels and Rick Martel, the two top WWF faces clashed in the wrestling ring for the first time. The fans were loving it. Jesse “The Body” Ventura was selling it. However in true goofy-wrestling fashion, neither wrestler could land a solid blow before they knocked each other out with double clotheslines.
The Ultimate Warrior ended up being eliminated by Rick Rude and Warlord, while the Hulkster ended up throwing over Mr. Perfect to win the Rumble.
Faces of Foley [Royal Rumble 1998]
In 1998, the WWF Royal Rumble match had all three flavors of Mick Foley as the Hardcore Legend made three separate appearances under three different gimmicks. He still didn’t win the match, but I remember finding it hilarious that Mama Foley’s Baby Boy managed to pull this off. Can you imagine if everyone did this? Hunico could don his black Sin Cara gear again. Dolph Ziggler could have two extra entries as Kerwin White’s caddie and Spirit Squad member Nicki. Hell, Kevin Nash could easily win the Rumble if he included all of his gimmicks and movie roles!!
That being said, I predict Super Shredder to win the WWE 2012 Royal Rumble.
Ric Flair Wins The WWF Title [Royal Rumble 1992]
Maven Eliminates the Undertaker [Royal Rumble 2002]
A Tough Enough winner dropkicked the Deadman out of the ring.
A Tough Enough winner dropkicked the Deadman out of the ring.
A Tough Enough winner dropkicked THE DEADMAN out of the ring.
Nobody expected to see the young rookie who was always full of handsome smiles to pull that one off, but he did. Afterward, the Undertaker made sure to completely dismantle Maven to the point where he couldn’t compete anymore which ended up being pretty awesome too.
Rumors that Taker's vicious beatings made Maven leave the wrestling business in order to hawk crap over at the Home Shopping Network are unfounded.
Vince McMahon Wins the Royal Rumble [Royal Rumble 1999]
The collective sound of wrestling fans simultaneously shouting “BULLSHIT” from across the country could be heard in space (according to NASA).
CM Punk Cuts Promo During Match [Royal Rumble 2010]
CM Punk had made his mark in the WWE as the cult leader of the Straight Edge Society, letting everyone and their mother know that he’s better than them because he says NO to drugs. In fact, he reminded everyone of this by cutting a promo during the 2010 Royal Rumble match.
In between eliminating JTG, Beth Phoenix, and Zack Ryder, Punk continued on with his rant, and if you weren’t a fan of CM Punk by this point, you were kidding yourself.
John Cena Returns [Royal Rumble 2008]
The 2008 Royal Rumble had no winner. An injured Rey Mysterio let everyone know Edge was retaining the World title, and it was up in the air if Orton would retain against Jeff Hardy for the WWE title. Front runners included Chris Jericho and (surprisingly) Mr. Kennedy. At the end, the sure lock was Triple H until the countdown ended and the 30th entry was revealed to be John Cena, returning quite early from his injury.
It was a surprise nobody expected, as evident from the video, and while his return didn’t lead up to a great WrestleMania match, his return will still be a highlight of his career.
John Morrison Kicks CM Punk [Royal Rumble 2008]
I know what the video says and that’s what most people may remember, but in 2008, Jimmy “I Love Cake” Snuka was the surprise 18th entry in the Rumble. Not to be outdone, the 19th entry was his old rival, Roddy “I Beat Cancer” Piper, who immediately went at it with Superfly. Even the commentators mentioned “the sea parting” as the other WWE superstars watched on in awe at the verified legends going at it.
During the melee, pay close attention to CM Punk chatting it up with John Morrison on the sidelines. Morrison, who had been going to war with what felt like a year with Punk, said something in return that I could only imagine to have been, “Hey, look at those guys while I kick you in the face now.”
Gene Snitsky Eliminates Paul London [Royal Rumble 2005]
Neither Gene Snitsky or Paul London had a shot at winning the 2005 Royal Rumble. I don’t know what he said to Snitsky (and he probably said it with a big, shit-eating grin on his face), but it probably didn’t warrant taking a big clothesline on the ring apron that turned him inside out and gave him a concussion.
Don’t blame Snitsky though — it wasn’t his fault.
Vince McMahon Breaks His Knees [Royal Rumble 2005]
The 2005 Royal Rumble ended in a big clusterf-ck. Batista attempted to give John Cena a powerbomb out of the ring which Cena countered with a headscissors (you don’t see him do that move too often these days) that sent them both to the floor. Since they both landed at the same time, it was unclear who was the winner and only one man could solve this problem. Enter Vincent Kennedy McMahon, who charged to the ring like a man on a mission, tossing his suit jacket in anger, and proceeded to tear both his quads entering the ring. He tried to cover it up by sitting on the canvas like a little kid with a look of absolute terror on his face.
There’s no way anything else can be my favorite Royal Rumble moment.
WWE Royal Rumble 2012 Surprise Predictions
Kayfabe: There’s only one surprise entrant into the Royal Rumble that I’ll care about, but I’ll get to that later. Let’s look at the big names that are possible right now: Goldberg and Brock Lesnar.
Hoarr: Not gonna happen. Goldberg would want a major payday. Lesnar would want a major payday along with some kind of long-term plan to keep the money rolling in.
Kayfabe: It’s a long shot for either of them. If there were talks about Lesnar having a match at WrestleMania, we would have heard about it by now.
Hoarr: Yup. The WWE isn’t going to spend a year building up The Rock/Cena only to have it overshadowed by Lesnar/Punk.
Kayfabe: Besides, is that something you throw away by having him show up at the Royal Rumble? You advertise that shit. Who’s on the roster that we haven’t seen in a while? Who’s one injury away from being deaded that is just hardcore enough to give it one more go?
Kayfabe: That’s right. Edge. The R-Rated Superstar himself. Wrestlers have come out of retirement before, and it’s not like he’s in terrible shape. Ideally, this would work if Christian had stayed a face all year and was fighting to get back his title. What a dick move it would be for Edge to get up off the couch just to cost him that opportunity and steal it for himself. That would have been nice.
Hoarr: That’s crazy. Edge retired due to injuries. He’s not going to risk paralysis for a cheap pop that only ends up with him being eliminated.
Kayfabe: It’s unlikely…maybe in a couple years. However, what I do foresee is
a dance off of some type. Maybe something between Brodus Clay and the Godfather.
Hoarr: My money would be on Rikishi returning due to his connection with the Usos…or maybe the “The Cat” Ernest Miller returning to get his theme music back from Brodus.
Kurtis: Well, MY money is on a dance off between “The Funkasaurus” Brodus Clay and Das Wunderkind Alex Wright! That’s money, Vince.
Hoarr: You’re nuts.
Kayfabe: Noted. There’s only one person I want to see return though and that’s the Prince of Perversion himself, Goldust.
Kayfabe: Cody Rhodes is a dark horse in this year’s Royal Rumble. He held a midcard title for several months now and flirted with the main event during his feud with Randy Orton. A Rumble win could give him that extra push he needs to be seen as a credible threat, but I would hold off on that to give us the match we’ve been dying to see.
Hoarr: This is only thing you’ve mentioned so far that could most likely happen. Goldust returning to start a feud with his younger brother would be fun to watch.
Kayfabe: Give Cody Rhodes his WrestleMania moment. We could even see an Elimination Chamber tag team match between Goldust and Booker and the reuniting DiBiase and Rhodes.
Hoarr: He’s injured, though.
Kayfabe: Okay then…we can see that money match of Goldust and Booker T vs Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Bob Holly. You know you want to see that. We all do. Make it happen, Vince!
Hoarr: Well, based on a theory that only exists in my mind, I expect that the WWE will continue to pull storylines from WWE ‘12 in order to validate the game’s weird roster. In the next week or so, there will be a DLC Pack that coincidentally features three people who I think might make an appearance tonight at the Rumble.
Hoarr: Mama Foley’s Baby Boy! The Hardcore Legend himself! He’s on good terms with the WWE, he’s been seen around the WWE Universe lately, he was recently spotted on 30 Rock; Mama Foley’s Baby Boy’s stock has never been higher!
Kurtis: The only reason I didn’t include this is because it’s already been announced.
Kurtis: Foley WILL be in the Royal Rumble match. Hopefully, as Mankind and not just New York Times Best Seller Mick Foley. Forget Kane, Foley needs to put the mask back on.
Hoarr: Shows how much attention that I’ve been paying to the WWE. I’m for it! Bang, Bang!
Hoarr: He won numerous championships throughout his career, but he never was the last man standing in a Royal Rumble during his time in the WWF. CM Punk has been stealing some moves and mannerisms from the Macho Man lately, so it would make sense for Savage to be gunning for the current WWE Champion. The current WWE roster would be shaking in their boots once that “Pomp and Circumstance” hits.
Kurtis: Can you imagine the nuclear heat if they played Macho’s entrance and Heath Slater came out instead? If Vince had any testicular fortitude, he should be taking notes. As much as I want Macho to rise from the grave to return, I’d rather they stick with commercial tie-ins and include Bonesaw. I hear he’s ready.
Hoarr: Ohh yeaaah — he’s dead. Too bad.
Hoarr: I guess this means that the last person left would be Batista. Recent photos show that he’s still in shape, even if he’s slimmed down considerably. I’m sure that he could show up for a couple of quick Batista-Bombs, maybe even a botch or two before being thrown out. Plus, last week’s release of The Scoprion King 3: Battle of Redemption featuring “The Animal” gives credibility to my bullshit rumor about his involvement in this year’s Rumble as far as I’m concerned.
Kurtis: What recent photos are you talking about? Surely not these:
Kayfabe: Guy looks like an Ethiopian child and that was only 3 months ago. Don’t get me wrong, I would mark out harder than Steve “The Turtle” Weiner if Batista returned, especially sporting that douchey looking mohawk, but not if he’s off the juice and looking more like Gillberg than Goldberg these days. Now, if Batista showed up in Ring of Honor to hand out Batista Bombs to every 4 foot 9 vanilla midget on the roster, that would be a different story.
Hoarr: I’m sticking with Batista being involved…or maybe Vickie Guerrero. Those are my picks.
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