For those of those that have known me since I started blogging here back in 2008 (long time!), I was always pretty health conscience. I used to be very heavy growing up, and after hitting 240lbs. at 15 years old (and no muscle to speak of, all flab), I decided to lose weight. I ended up losing over 80lbs in the next year and a half thanks to working out 5-6 times a week and eating healthy.

I felt the best I ever had in my life, and my confidence was soaring. I felt so happy about myself and the journey I made, I got heavily involved with exercise and nutrition, to the point where I was even a Kinesiology (Exercise Science) major in college before changing to pursue audio. Despite the social caveats, I was a huge health freak, and over the next 3 years packed on about 30lbs of muscle getting myself up to a very good looking 190lbs. Even after I changed my major to audio, I still was very into exercising and eating right. I cut down my training to about 3-4 times a week and was a little more lax with my diet, but that was enough to maintain my strength, fitness, and weight, even making tiny gains now and then.

And then it happened. Almost exactly 2 years ago I injured my shoulder doing heavy sets of bench presses. Not even sure what happened. I was doing heavy sets of 5, and I’ve done them hundreds of times in the past, but this time on my last rep, I felt an extremely sharp pain while pushing it up, and I was pretty much disabled from all lifting for the next 6 months. I never went to a doctor for it, but thankfully it healed on it’s own. Basically though, I couldn’t even lift my one arm without a sharp pain in my shoulder. I would wait a month, go back and try to lift something light, and it would still hurt. I had to drop all lifting. Never really liking cardio either, I stopped everything.

And here we are two years later, and I’m sad to say I’m a chunky 245lbs. Heavier than I ever weighed in my life. Not only was I leading a sedentary lifestyle this whole time, pretty much sitting down the entire day, but my diet slacked off too. Really bad. I reacquainted myself with soda, candy and ice cream, and it seemed chinese or pizza was guaranteed at least twice a week. The less you exercise, the hungrier you get. Well, you certainly get worse at avoiding temptations and overeating. And that I did. I didn’t even realize I had gained so much weight until I went to try on a pair of my dress pants for a party, (a size 34 that always fit me loosely), and I could not even get them on my legs!!! I’m now a size 38, and probably could afford a size 40. I’m exactly back where I started almost 10 years ago.

I just don’t even know how I fell out of it. I look back at pictures of myself when I was in shape, and I’m like holy shit, I was ripped. Back then I thought I just had a very average body, but no, I was in really good shape. Exercise used to be enjoyable for me, but now I can hardly coerce myself to get to the gym, and even once I’m there, I just constantly think I would rather be doing something else. Going to the gym daily used to be a high point for me, now I dread it.

But here I am, and I realize I need to get myself back in shape now before it becomes too late and I’m suffering health problems. Exercise and being healthy is so so so important, as the good it does for your energy, focus, health, well-being, and mood is all positive. I’ve signed up for a gym membership again, and I’ve been trying to get back to the gym, but it’s definitely been a rough start. I was sad to see I could only jog about 3 minutes before having to stop and walk. Last time I remember jogging, I could run a 10 minute mile easy. My strength levels have decreased by 50% or more. But oh well, I did this to myself and I got to change.

So here’s to getting back in shape. I don’t know if I’ll ever go back to my super health freak, gym 6 times a week type of guy I used to be, because honestly, I have a lot less time now, and being a health freak had so many social disadvantages. Not wanting to go out to eat with friends, refusing food at parties, etc etc. Now I just want to shed the weight I gained, feel strong and healthy, and eat reasonably. I remember how much I loved food, but like the age old saying goes, everything is OK in moderation, and it’s true. I just got to practice that.

So a more personal blog today, and just wanted to get that off my chest. Hoping to lose about 3lbs a week, and really hoping I find the enjoyment I once had for exercise again, because so far it’s been really tough through the first two weeks (lost 5lbs though). So thanks for reading, and good luck to anyone else out there trying to drop some pounds or meet their fitness goals as well!