Being Candid in an Overly Sensitive World
Iíll just say it right now. Iím a very candid person. Some might call it ďbluntĒ. To say the least, while I am respectful of others, Iím not one to sugar coat my words when things need to be said. Iím also a very honest person. Iím not afraid to voice my feelings, concerns, or opinions. I like being direct with people, and not wasting peopleís time by beating around the bush playing ďtry to guess what Iím really saying.Ē
However, in todayís world, itís not been easy for people to be candid in society. I should know. Iíve probably shot myself in the foot at job interviews when the ďWhat are your weaknesses?Ē question comes around and I blurt out the flaws I have like an idiot. (Lesson here? That question is evil....) It was especially a point of contention at my last job as well, and perhaps the reason I never got hired for the opening they had even though I was working there as a temp for two years. I would often suggest new practices, give feedback directly (and bluntly), and approach matters heads on without care to the bullshit corporate politics in place. It was told later how much this hadnít been appreciated, though at the time, no one ever said a peep. Hmm, why not. Afraid of hurting my feelings and making me cry?
But seriously, the world and society has become a sensitive place, more than ever. People act like they are made of glass, ready to break at the first thing that even slightly upsets them. Iíve been told I need to work on ďgracefulĒ feedback. NOPE. I say you people need to toughen the hell up and get over yourselves. Iíve seen this ďgracefulĒ feedback in action in the workplace. You beat around the bush, hinting that something is not right, while also making love to their ego in fear of it shattering into a 1000 pieces should you possibly say something that they might not want to hear. Give me a break! This achieves nothing. The light-heartedness of the feedback doesnít offer clear direction. If you are ďgracefullyĒ trying to reprimand someone, it comes off so light hearted the person will never take it seriously.
Now Iím not saying go out and be rude, be offensive, shout profanities at everyone you see. No, I consider myself a mannered and respectful guy. But I think people need to be tough enough that there world doesnít come crashing down around them when someone says something they donít like. Itís gotten so bad that even the simplest of feedback or arguments has to go through a third party in businesses instead of two people just being able to talk to each other.
Just look at the children growing up today. Join a club or organization and now they hand out awards and trophies to everyone just so no one feels left out. In schools everyone gets awards so the children can feel smart instead of actually having to do work to get an award. When I was in school, it was simple. Want the smartest kid award? Have the highest average. Want the best reader award? Read the most books that month. Want the best scientist award? Work with your parents on a cool science projectĒ. Todayís society is used to be coddled and walked by the hand. Never having to work hard to actually earn something, being given everything for nothing, and being told you are always the best.
You know what, no one is going to always be the best. No one is perfect. Todayís society is full of people with inflated egos who canít take an insult. Remember the old saying ďSticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt meĒ Yea... We need to start posting that saying everywhere. It should be in employee and school handbooks, billboards, sporting events, malls, etc. In all seriousness though, REALLY, people let the simplest things get to them these days. I find it very rare I come across someone who is able to professional receive negative feedback about himself and not throw a fit. The greatest strength is being able to receive the harshest of criticism, all while learning from it and making yourself better. At the very worst, the criticism was unwarranted and you stay the same. You certainly donít need to get upset over it.
I think itís just really sad that I find myself having to constantly filter what I want to say in order to avoid hurting someoneís feeling. When my co-worker asks for my opinion on his work and I think itís terrible, it takes all my power to try to say ďWell this is pretty good, but maybe try this and this and then see how it comes outĒ. And then I repeat this process with the co-worker 8 times till he finally gets something I can passably approve and all because I just didnít come out in the beginning and say what I should have said, ďNo this is really bad. You are approaching it totally wrong, you need to try something more like thisĒ. Really, why do I have to say something is pretty good just to keep an ego intact when really it was terrible? Because todayís people just canít handle it, and itís terribly sad.
So whatís next? As a candid person in a world filled with overly sensitive individuals, I donít see my situation getting any better. Hell, at this rate I wouldnít be surprised if it becomes policy that everyone must behave the same way, speak scripted lines, and lose all sense of individuality because everyone is going to be the most perfect superstar with absolutely no flaws at all. BAH. I think a lot of people really just need to grow up and learn to be able to take some criticism or hear you are not ďall thatĒ without wetting themselves in disappointment and throwing themselves into depression. Is this really what people want to be?
All and all, Iíll end the blog here. Not really much else to say, but I wish our society would stop coddling our egos. I wouldnít be surprised if people read this and get really offended, because thatís just the way things are anymore. Yup, people getting offended over some random blog I wrote about my opinions, that when you really think about it, has no effect on these angry people at all. Some might wonder, how do I react to criticism? I say bring it on. People have said some harsh things to me in my life, much more harsh and blunt than I would ever imagine myself doing to others, and Iím fine. No harm done. Itís just words. ZERO EFFECT. I reflect on what they said and I either A) Ignore it and move on with my life, or B) realize they might have a point, be glad they were being direct with me, and compromise to make myself a better person. Itís just as simple as that. Itís just words.
So thanks for reading this rant-y blog. I do hope that some time in the future people are able to handle direct criticism better, but who knows. Will I ever stop being candid and blunt? Probably not, itís just who I am and for one I am happy being direct with people because in a world where so many people beat around the bush, I think itís important someone tells things like they are straight up. ďReal TalkĒ I know I appreciate it at least when people are direct with me. I wish it would happen more.
Before I end, I open the discussion to you guys. What does CAG thing about candid people, people that are direct and speak their minds? Is being candid truly such a bad thing? Iíve been told it is. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts and comments!
|Comments (Total Comments: 10)|
|apa8ren9 - 12-19-2012, 09:48 PM|
|mitch079 - 12-19-2012, 09:56 PM|
- 12-20-2012, 12:02 AM
Updated 12-20-2012 at 12:12 AM by the_grimace
|4nik8tor - 12-20-2012, 06:57 AM|
|4nik8tor - 12-20-2012, 06:58 AM|
|tylerh1701 - 12-20-2012, 10:54 AM|
|bkjohns1 - 12-20-2012, 01:25 PM|
- 12-20-2012, 03:00 PM
Updated 12-20-2012 at 04:12 PM by the_grimace
|Spyder187 - 12-21-2012, 11:39 AM|
|gettinmoney662 - 12-25-2012, 11:25 PM|
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