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Go Back   Cheap Ass Gamer > Blogs > the_grimace's Blog > How does your Significant Other Feel about Sex/Violence/Nudity in Games?
the_grimace's Avatar

How does your Significant Other Feel about Sex/Violence/Nudity in Games?

By the_grimace 03-21-2013 06:25 PM
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Just a little quick blog today. I picked up a copy of Far Cry 3 off Amazon and was looking forward to playing it. I remember someone telling me the game had some nude scenes, along with some stripper scenes as well (amongst all the normal man slaughter that FPS games bring of course). That got me thinking about how my girlfriend gets pretty uncomfortable when nudity is shown in games, and who can blame her, since it is often done simply for pleasing a man’s fantasy.

I wouldn’t say that she cares that I play games with nudity, sex, violence, or other inappropriate scenarios - because we are adults after all - but she definitely doesn’t like it when games do things like that. If I am playing some game like God of War where things are gratuitously violent, she’s just kind of like “Really.... do they really need to go that far?” For every stupidly over sexualized female character wearing some bikini into the throes of battle, she just says “That is so dumb...”. Should there be nudity in a game and the tits come out, she’s just like “Wow, men...” In fact, this reminded me of playing through Ar Tonelico Qoga about 2 years ago. Here we have a game that was all about sexual innuendo, awkward scenarios, and other inappropriate dialogue and situations. She cringed as I played through the game, but I got to admit, even I was disturbed quite a bit by that game. LOL.

But it got me thinking... I can’t blame her! My girlfriend is not a feminist by any means, and she also loves gaming. She’s not just some casual gamer either, she plays hardcore and casual games alike. Right now she is going through Dragon Age and enjoying it, (just wait till she gets to the sex scenes though!) To get to my point though, putting tits in a game is solely an act of service for men. We as men enjoy that, it’s how we are wired in the brain. It’s not there to really sell the atmosphere or game story, but just to tickle the overwhelmingly male audience’s fancy. I mean, imagine if all the games where women’s breasts were shown, that instead they showed some man’s penis. Imagine that for every bikini clad female warrior I got a male character in nothing but a g-string. Imagine that for every ridiculously violent scene, we got an overly cutesy scene of our character cuddling an enemy to make him wander away peacefully in love and hearts floating above his head. I would be a bit turned off too if that was the case. But I am a man, and the game industry is servicing me with things that really aren’t necessary to make a great game. It’s just thrown in there to be like “Yeahhhh. boobs!”

But I’m not going to go ramble off on this topic. What I am curious about is, how does your significant other feel when you play games with over the top violence, sex, or nudity. If you are female, do these things turn you off from games? Trying to put myself in my girlfriend’s shoes, I can totally see why it’s very frustrating to be a girl gamer. The industry is obsessed with selling fantasies to men, sometimes even in lieu of a foremost making a good game... Some might argue it’s just the natural advancement of technology, but I definitely think games have way more sex, violence, nudity, and other unmoral scenarios then they ever did in the past, and all in “stunning and realistic HD!” I wonder what will happen when I have kids, as surely I do not want my kids even taking a single peek at some of the “triple A” games coming out these days because of their content. Will need something like a dedicated gaming room with lock and key at this rate once I start a family. :P

So thanks for reading, and I am looking forward to hearing what everyone thinks about the topic, and how your significant other reacts to the games you play. Very interested in the discussion!

 Comments (Total Comments: 6)  

blueshinra's Avatar
I don't watch my husband play games very often (the Assassin's Creed series is one of the rare exceptions), since I'm usually playing something on my own

As for sexy women in games, the main exceptions I make are for Bayonetta and anything with Takehito Harada character designs (Disgaea, etc.), though his doujinshi can get a little creepy. As for Bayonetta, I love her for much the same reasons that I love Dante from Devil May Cry: both characters are exaggerations and straight-up campy fun, but they're still awesome as characters. It's understandable why she makes some guys uncomfortable, but she also has a not insignificant number of female fans who think she rocks.

My husband will often describe romantic/sex scenes in The Witcher or whatnot, commenting on how cheesy they are. He likes to make fun of such stuff, and can get rather tedious for him as well. Our standards for game storytelling are pretty much on the same wavelength, no matter what we play, and for most games, it's not as important as the actual gameplay.

Quote:
I mean, imagine if all the games where women’s breasts were shown, that instead they showed some man’s penis.
However, the problem is that penises are ugly, as ugly as ladyparts close up. I don't like seeing them in yaoi manga, so why would I want them in games? Same with pubic hair. That's not the case for all women, though.

Quote:
Trying to put myself in my girlfriend’s shoes, I can totally see why it’s very frustrating to be a girl gamer. The industry is obsessed with selling fantasies to men, sometimes even in lieu of a foremost making a good game...
I think this is why so many of us gravitate toward Japanese games: the fanservice often goes both ways, and so many of them would pass the Bechdel Test with flying colors. Still, many of the racier JRPGs are ones I tend to avoid, in large part because 1) I generally don't like harem anime, which a lot of these games resemble, and 2) a heavy reliance on cheesecake, fanservice, etc. often means a mediocre (if not bad) game.
hostyl1's Avatar
My wife will sometimes watch me play Assassin's Creed.

We used to play Rumble Roses together.

I guess she's cool with racy and violent games.
zlatour's Avatar
My girlfriend thinks it is ing hilarious. She also googles funny rule 34 pictures just to laugh.
Nudity, violence and sex have gone together for ages. Its in the movies, what people forget is that movies and games are media. You are supporting the "down low" culture of shame that revolves around making things more obscene than they really are. It's largely a civil rights issue as civil rights are currently under attack and you're being conditioned to accept it.

What you are uncomfortable about is nudity, violence and sex when other people are standing next to you. Get over yourself and your desire to be equal to your girlfriend or target audience. You can be an adult and take it for what it is, you can be a child and shamefully hide it away from prying eyes or you can actually have a discussion about what brought you to the point where you find these things obscene in the moment because other people are viewing it with you. If you find that if nudity/sex can be tastefully done in a violent game and be acceptable, by virtue of that it should be acceptable regardless of how tasteful it is. There is no middle ground, you either support it or you don't.
the_grimace's Avatar
@mad39er

The thing that bothers me is that sex/violence/nudity is just done so distastefully in games. It RARELY adds something to the story, immersion, or atmosphere of the game. There are some rare games out there that use sex/nudity/violence in very well implemented and meaningful ways, but come on, you have to admit most games just throw boobs into the equation for the sake of boobs. There is no reason to constantly throw boobs and sex into games that don't need it, but it happens constantly. Considering this, there definitely is the middle ground. I don't want sex and violence in my games for no good reason, but if it adds to the game story and is done realistically/tastefully, then go for it.

Honestly, if I did have to pick black or white, one side or the other, I would be all for not having ANY sex/boobs in games. The 1% of times it is done right is not worth keeping around for the other 99% of games that use sex and violence dumbly just to sell.
She has no problem with any of it, and honestly the sex and nudity doesn't bother me one bit. Despite it being the 21st Century, many Americans have some illogical hang-up about the 'evils' of sex and nudity. Ironically, these same people are more concerned about that than graphic violence. A game or film will ALWAYS get a harsher, stricter rating because of nudity/sex than for gratuitous violence. Maybe it's the outdated puritan blood in most Americans...?

More and more I'm bothered far more by the constant meaningless killings in games than I ever was by any amount of nudity and sex. Sure, it's best if it all relates to the story, but I'm getting sick of becoming a genocidal war machine in most games - like Uncharted.

Give me Metal Gear Solid anyday, where you can beat the entire game without killing a single person. Now, don't get me wrong -- I'm not against all violence in games -- but at times it gets far too excessive, and that's a far bigger issue than sex and nudity ever can be.

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