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Go Back   Cheap Ass Gamer > Blogs > Boo's Nonsense > The human body is absolutely AMAZING
lilboo's Avatar

The human body is absolutely AMAZING

By lilboo 12-29-2008 07:24 PM
2346
views
T.M.I. ALERT
(Too Much Information)

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

..
..
..


So, I have been feeling awful lately. I think it's just a cold, but it's one of those colds that make you feel all kinds of bad. Ya know, shitty. It seems like I am getting better, so, hooray!

A few minutes ago, I was suffering from a few things.
~A MASSIVE HEADACHE (possibly migraine?)
~TERRIBLE CONGESTION. ::attempts to sniff, but fails::
~STOMACH PAINS. Weird kinds, not so much "ZOMG POOOOOP!"
~...Labido

So, I'm just laying on the couch.
And yeah.
I went there.

So what?

LEMME TELL YOU THIS.
I just had the most FOUL orgasm of my life. Not only did I probably make the most scariest face I can imagine, but I totally farted and sneezed and at the same time.

After I clean myself up, I realize a few things:
"My headache?! It's... not that bad?!"
"OMG! I can.. breathe through my nose. OMG MY NEIGHBORES ARE COOKING FISH, PUKE"
"...Oh SHIT, I didn't pull my black shirt up high enough! "

Moral of the Story: Masturbating will solve almost every problem. Just do not wear a black shirt. If you do, take it off or make sure you lift it up higher!
26 Comments

 Comments (Total Comments: 26)  

Old PR Mega X PR Mega X is offline - 12-29-2008, 07:35 PM
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Something about the term "foul orgasm" made me burst out laughing
Old hohez hohez is offline - 12-29-2008, 08:00 PM
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See, this blog post has everything your previous one was missing. In fact i think you are safe to do a couple more innuendo-free ones as follow-up.
Old refusedchaos refusedchaos is offline - 12-29-2008, 08:14 PM
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this blog is badass
Old Fragonard Fragonard is offline - 12-29-2008, 08:56 PM
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You sir, just made my day.
Old LittleWildman LittleWildman is offline - 12-29-2008, 09:13 PM
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It's 2:14am and LittleWildman is amused haha, this is front page material XD
Old Collectorguy00 Collectorguy00 is offline - 12-29-2008, 09:18 PM
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Use a sock?
Old lilboo lilboo is offline - 12-29-2008, 09:23 PM
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Ew no, I did that one time and my sock was forever crusty. :(
Old Nathan_Sama Nathan_Sama is offline - 12-29-2008, 09:24 PM
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Rofl :d
Old paintball745 paintball745 is offline - 12-29-2008, 09:26 PM
drum roll please and cag blog of the week goes to.
Old Collectorguy00 Collectorguy00 is offline - 12-29-2008, 09:28 PM
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Just designate one of your socks the "jizz" sock and never wear it again. Crusty sock > Crusty stomach hair
Old lilboo lilboo is offline - 12-29-2008, 09:31 PM
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.....but then I would have chaffing going on if I used a crusty sock! PUKES.
Old Collectorguy00 Collectorguy00 is offline - 12-29-2008, 09:34 PM
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Technique man, technique. That has been my method for years and I'm soft as a baby.

Edit- Also, you wash the sock after every use.
Old $hady $hady is online now - 12-29-2008, 09:39 PM
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I hate it when you are about to cum but you just keep holding it back and jacking harder and harder and you wanna cum so hard but you hold it back and keep pumping it and working it and it's all you can do not to cum and then blammo! You finally cant hold it and shoot your wad and it goes through the air and hits you in the face because you weren't reclined back enough in front of the computer. Yea I in hate that! That happens to everyone though...........right?
Old mtxbass1 mtxbass1 is offline - 12-29-2008, 11:14 PM
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^^
Old lilboo lilboo is offline - 12-29-2008, 11:15 PM
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Old JJSP JJSP is online now - 12-30-2008, 12:17 AM
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Oh, .

I hate you.
Old Sofa King Kool Sofa King Kool is offline - 12-30-2008, 01:18 AM
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I saw "lilboo" and "Too much information" and I knew it would be priceless...
Old JohnnyFoxDarko JohnnyFoxDarko is offline - 12-30-2008, 02:14 AM
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Just don't wear a shirt!
Old carpwrist carpwrist is offline - 12-30-2008, 03:09 AM
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that's the most foul orgasm you've had huh? I'll give you the sneezing and farting, that's pretty much the last thing you'd want to do, but you should try doing it when you're really sick.

I'll never forget this load of mine that came out green. Seriously, it looked like i blew my nose in the tissue.

I just want to say from what I read in the comments, I don't think any of you are masturbating efficiently. I am tempted to say correctly, but y'know if you like it to decorate your clothes and surrounding area with your own yogurt, go for it, it's your mess. For those of us who like the release and want to keep it clean, use a tissue or couple of rolls of TP and cover that shit. Then you can let yourself go $hady crazy, toss the TP in the trash, wash your hands (optional if you're in the fast food industry), end cycle, repeat.
Old lilboo lilboo is offline - 12-30-2008, 06:38 AM
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....GREEN!?!?!?!??!? You should probably go get yourself a catscan!
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