WTF do you do when you run out of deoderant?
Aight, listen up. Your boy CK64 is going to teach you what to do when you run out of deodorant. First and foremost, you gotta understand that there is no replacement for deodorant. Don't even try to mess around with cologne or drier sheets or whatever the you think is a good idea, because it sure as shit isn't. You need that deodorant if you want to get the bitches.
So, you're a miserable shell of a man without this stuff, "WTF DO I DO CK64?" you cry? Hold the on, I'm getting to it.
First, you're gonna need to know what time it is. You might ask, "Why do I need to know what time it is CK64?" To which I will tell you that I don't ing remember why I made this panel, but it must have been a pretty damn good reason so just check the time. I'm a professional.
Depending on whether or not you are a poor /dirty hippy, you can take the bus, walk, or take your own wheels to a store. Walking? Holy cocks no. You want to get your ass ran over? I didn't think so. Driving? Not with these gas prices. No, what we're gonna do is man up and take the ing public transportation.
When you get on the bus, make sure to pay the driver. They put up with more than you could imagine, plus they drive a ing bus for a living so don't give them any shit. Take a quick glance at who is already on the bus. You've got no deodorant, so try to sit away from everyone else and make for damn sure to keep your arms down. If the bus is full and you have to stand, claim that you are handicapped and kick some undeserving schmuck out of their seat.
Aight, sweet. You've made it to the store, but don't go patting yourself on the dick yet. We've still got a long way to go. Take this opportunity to arm yourself with a hand basket. You might think this is girly and would rather go for the cart, but trust me. Not only will you look stupid as hell using a cart for a single stick of deodorant, you're gonna need the maneuverability the hand basket gives you.
At this point in time, you're probably going to be rank. People are going to try to beat the shit out of you or something. Luckily, you've got CK64 here to help you out. Remember that hand basket I told you to grab? Use it to fend off attackers and run like hell.
Oh shit. What the is going on here? Don't panic. You've accidentally stumbled into a store that uses moon runes as their written language. No big deal. Almost every store will have a section dedicated to toiletries, so look around for tampons and toilet paper.
When you finally find the deodorant section, you might be confused as to which brand you choose. Well, confused if you're some sort of unamerican asshole who hasn't seen what ing Old Spice can do for you. This shit will make you smell good AND be able to slide from first to home plate. Also, Bruce Campbell supports this stuff and that dude is a smooth motherer.
Put that shit in your basket and haul ass to the checkout.
Pay quickly and use cash. Exact change if you've got it. Checks take too long, credit shit can get denied, or the systems can be down.
Make your way to the male restroom (or female if you're feeling lucky) and put that sweet stuff on. Hooo damn what would you do without me?
Take this moment to bask in the glory of fresh smelling armpits.
You are ing welcome.
"CK64, I have a question. Should one pick up 2 stick of deodorant to avoid this situation again or is that just ridiculous?"
Good call jello00. Not only might this save you a future trip, but you get the bitches twice as fast with 2 sticks.
"I'd Bruce Campbell."
As should we all.
|Comments (Total Comments: 22)|
|siderealshift - 02-04-2009, 05:25 PM|
|chuckie88 - 02-05-2009, 02:59 AM|
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