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Lulu's Single Life
By AngellicLulu 02-16-2009 09:50 AM
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I got the whole, it's not you, it's me speech back in early December. I swore I'd just cut off all communication if it happened again but instead I said we could be friends. Oh how excited he was because I accepted that. But then we talked and he said that we he worked out his issues he would be open to starting over so I swore I'd wait for him.
It's been two months and he's not the same person. He's completely cold and uncaring. I couldn't take it anymore, so I did my process of closure. I told him if his emotions turn back on and I'm single then we could try again, but I'm not going to sit around caring for someone who doesn't have the capacity to care back. We still hang out on occasion, but it's rare. I was personally very distraught over the whole situation, because there was no logical reason for his emotions to just turn off like they did. He says his feelings happen in cycles. And, no, there's no other girl. So I've been doing the whole online dating thing, but only recently got closure so I haven't committed to meeting anyone. I've been more focused on other things. My first single V-Day wasn't hard at all. So here's to Lulu's single life. We'll see how long it lasts this time. |
Comments (Total Comments: 14) |
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- 02-16-2009, 11:33 AM
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the best way to get over a relationship is to leave it in the past. no contact, no occasional hanging out, just need to walk away.
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- 02-16-2009, 12:01 PM
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I'll be honest. My relationship life has been on my mind for a long time. I had an amazing girl that had some baggage that I was dating, and then she told me she was getting back together with her ex( there were some details, like I had seen pictures with her and her ex, I knew they talked a little bit) and I immediately said "Save your talk, I've heard it all before. You'd have to be an idiot to choose him over me." And after that, deleted her number and made it a point to not talk to her again.
Its wat smoger said..just let it go. It makes you seem bad, but it's just for the better. |
- 02-16-2009, 12:04 PM
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Well, yes ideally leaving in the past is best, but seeing as I live with my ex-fiance, I come with baggage a plenty. I do not have the capacity to hurt someone like that by dumping them for an ex who decides to come around.
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- 02-16-2009, 12:25 PM
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I had this exact same thing happen to me in the past. I was dating a girl over in China and we broke up (mostly because her parents didn't want us together) but then after I started dating another girl (who now I'm happy to say is my wife), my ex said she wanted to go back with me and try again. I gave it a shot at the time, but the girl was totally different and cold like you said. It just wasn't the same. I sucked it up, said it wasn't working and went back to the new girl who I married a year or two later =)
Go with your gut. If it doesn't feel right, then something's wrong and you can do better. Oh and great name by the way! We are considering "Lulu" as one of the top three names if we ever have a daughter ^_^ |
- 02-16-2009, 12:33 PM
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Sounds like you made the right decision. Life is too short to spend waiting on someone who can't decide if they want to be with you.
I was in the opposite role, although I was much clearer how I felt and had very concrete reasons for the decisions I made. Once I decided I wanted to try again, I made sure she understood there was no gray area. I wrote her a long letter, re-read it, gave it to her and completely humbled myself before her. Unless he's willing to open up and you can tell he's sure, I wouldn't give it a second thought. |
- 02-16-2009, 01:57 PM
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girls can find a guy easily
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- 02-16-2009, 02:43 PM
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@shin guys can find a girl easily too. It's finding the right one that's a challenge for all.
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- 02-16-2009, 09:25 PM
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Actually, I am a firm believer in the "Its not you, its me" ordeal. It is actually really true and I have used it, with valid reasoning, when ending a relationship. But of course, I was able to explain myself honestly and thoroughly. I say focus on yourself, do what makes you happy and some guy will find you...
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- 02-16-2009, 09:29 PM
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It's not that I don't believe the speech. It is him. He doesn't want a girlfriend anymore. His entire mind is shut off to the idea.
good advice tho. |
- 02-17-2009, 07:47 AM
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Good luck with your quest. I'm sure you will find the right guy eventually. Just as I am sure I'll find a woman just as mad as I am, should be quite entertaining when it finally comes to fruition.
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- 02-17-2009, 09:23 AM
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Relationships help us grow in ways we wouldn't on our own. His emotions were certainly hindering your growth so tis better that it ended.
This is not to say his emotions aren't tied to something he is not letting you in on...but if he doesnt then its his fault... As someone who did the same to one of his girlfriends take my apology on his behalf. Sometimes we try to solve everything on our own and are total dicks in the process. He'll learn one day and maybe you guys can truly be friends again, if not oh well for him. |
- 02-17-2009, 09:27 AM
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It's okay. I spent my first V-day as a single in 10 years. I don't have any advice for you though as I haven't really ever been on the dating scene. I'm still new at it.
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- 02-25-2009, 01:56 PM
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Cheers to getting closure. But cut that mofo' off! Don't give him an open door back in, as if he is worthy of yet another chance. You said urself about his uncaring-ness.
Don't ever give them have that kind of power over you. Enjoy yourself out there, go take some chances. |
- 03-21-2009, 12:16 PM
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Guys complain girls are confusing, but I say guys are just as bad, they have mood swings and change so fast at times as well! But being single is better than being in an unfulfillable relationship, so cheers to you!
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