Today, I walk outside and see that I've missed my bus. I go back inside, get my MP3 player, and prepare myself for a long walk. In me travels I saw a ton of buses pass me. I even walked pass those two girls I was infatuated with last year ( they were standing at their bus stop). In hindsight I should have flipped them off or exposed myself to them, not like they could've done or said anything.

Anyway, I walk slowly and all these buses pass me. I knew they were going toward my school, but I let them go pass. Hand in pocket, looking forward, chest out. I got to school and class right on time.

I think that's a great metaphor for the kind of person I am in general. Too much avoidance for my own good at times , but I get by quite fine.

Can't exactly say I'm pleased. I wrote about blog about my anxiety issue that I deleted immediately after because I felt that addressing it would make it worse for me. Then I realized that even though I deleted it it would have the stupid " this blog post was deleted by GTZerO" message and it seems like some people could see it anyway . I wanted to bring it back but I couldn't, so now it just sits there.

Anyway, I think I've found the cause of my anxiety: I'm going back to school [B][I]next Monday[/I][/B]. I've had a great Summer so far, but just the fact that I'm going back to school next Monday makes em remember how much I hated being there. This is my 11th grade year and it's supposedly the most important year grade wise- so now I feel pressured to do really well in school. I regret a lot of the choices I made when choosing classes. I chose a lot due to the low difficulty but my brother actually suggests that I get in a higher math because it's required in order get to the next math, which most colleges have as a requirement. I'm not even good at math and I have to take the SAT this year ( I didn't do very well on the PSATs at all) and I have to apply for colleges. He also said I should have an extra curricular activity because colleges like that too but I don't want to be involved with school at all outside of school hours. I'm required to do a certain amount of hours of community service in order to graduate and I don't even know where to start.

On top of all of this I'm stretched in between doing [B][I]something [/I][/B]socially as opposed to isolating myself like I did last year. I know grades are more important but I'd hate to look back on my time in high school with no friends, no good times...I actually just think I'd hate to look back at my time in high school. I've got lukewarm grades ( just above a 3.0 GPA so far ) and I've got no social skills. I just want to stay home. I know it'd be stupid but I'm just sick of all of this. If only there was a way for me to get rid of all responsibility and stress that[B][I] isn't[/I][/B] faking my death.

I was really surprised at what I saw. In the Walmart I had been to, the Vizios on the floor looked better than the Sharps or Sonys, but the Samsung was up to par with the Vizio. Even then, the differences between the TVs were very small to me. The one's that looked like shit seemed to just be blurry or too dark. I think calibration could help them out a lot.

I decided that Walmart wasn't exactly the best place to look at TVs, so I went to Best Buy. Every single TV on that floor looked beautiful . HD programming is really foreign to my eyes ( which are shit anyway) , but I could not see a significant enough difference between some TVs to warrant the 500+ dollar price differences. That's really what I was focusing on : the quality of the TVs in relation to the prices. The problem is that Best Buy has most TVs set up in order of price ( probably intentionally). I had finally found a low priced TV next to a high priced TV. It was a 42 inch Insignia plasma for 800 next to this Samsung that was 2000+ ( I'm not sure if itwas LCD or Plasma ) and the difference was glaring. The Samsung was just incredible . The colors just seemed to have more definition, more rich. The Insignia was simply bland in comparison.

Still, the material on that Insignia was beautiful, and as a simple minded consumer and not a videophile, I'd be more inclined to pick up a low to middle end television as opposed to the higher end TVs. The biggest letdown for me was the Sony and Sharp models. What I saw in those stores was not enough to justify the prices of the TVs. In general, I noticed that a TV is only as good as the material that is on the TV. The Nascar footage looked terrible on every single one of those TVs. but the X Games footage had the exact opposite effect for me. As far as I know none of the TVs had SD footage running on them and that'd probably be the deciding factor for me.