For those that read my last blog, you found out that Portal 2 sucks and you shouldn't buy it. Seems like some people didn't understand what I was saying, or just have wrong opinions, so I am going to answer and respond to comments from that my last amazing blog post.



The Crotch says

Quote: Originally Posted by The Crotch Predictable troll is predictable. This would be funnier if JSP was doing it. He's funnier than you.

You have bad taste. You must like Portal.

Quote: Originally Posted by joshnorm So you hate one fun original puzzle games and one of the better brands of Computers out there. Good for you.

No, I hate one terrible puzzle game and one overpriced brand of computers.

Quote: Originally Posted by wune You totally changed my mind about this game!

It's what I'm here for.

Quote: Originally Posted by Whoknows It's ok if you think Apple and Portal are good, but that makes your opinion wrong.

Ah, a voice of reason...

So everyone is excited about Portal 2 and I have to wonder why?

The first game was pretty terrible for a variety of reasons. It was 10 minutes long, the graphics sucked, it had next to no story, and it played like a game that came out in 2007!

Not to mention all the horrible jokes that came with the game and the dumb ending song. And now they're making a sequel and pricing it at $60! Is this some sort of crazy joke? If I want to pay $60 to play a 10 minute game (or probably even shorter with the way games are going these days) it would have to be the best game ever where in the 10 minute span I'm playing it, I'm so amazed that I die. That would be the best $60 I would ever spend.

Also Portal 2 looks exactly like the first game except now there are two robots to play as instead of the one robot you played as in the first game. The whole game is probably the exact same as the first game aside from them probably cutting out a few sections to save...

Dynasty Warriors 7 will soon be released, and I bet you're all wondering, how good is this game?


Well I'll tell you. Now I haven't actually played the game, but I did watch a gameplay trailer on youtube, so I'm pretty sure I know everything about this game and am qualified to review it.

So from what I gather, you start the game and talk to people. But that's boring, as we all know. If I wanted to talk in a video game I'd read a book. In any case though, you pass through the probably pointless talking and then you're on your way to become the very best race car driver in the world.


Now to do this what you have to do is kill people to raise up your driving skills. It's kind of like how you do something unrelated to what you want to do, and then somehow get better at it. Like...

By now everyone has probably had the opportunity to listen to the new Rebecca Black single "Friday".

I had the honor of being able to listen to it for the first time today, and all I have to say about it is...WOW! We have a new star!



I couldn't have been more enthralled when I first listened to the song. It has everything going for it. An amazing beat, a great singer, and of course lyrics that make sense yet sound good at the same time. I mean for example the very beginning of the song:

"7am gotta wake up in the morning, gotta be fresh gotta go downstairs"

Not only great lyrics, but they make sense. I mean, who is not going to want to be fresh when they go downstairs? That's nasty. If you aren't going to be fresh then go back to your room and miss school. You don't deserve an education if you don't even have the courtesy...

So as you can probably tell by the title I went and saw Battle L.A. and I was actually pretty excited to see it too. What a generic movie. It seriously was nothing special at all.

When it starts though, you see L.A. destroyed and the title comes up and you think "This is going to be awesome!" but unfortunately, that's not the case. It starts out like a generic war movie, has generic war movie moments such as everyone in the squad following the leader when they don't have to (which actually happens twice. That makes it twice as meaningful!) and the movie ends almost exactly like Independence Day does. I'm not kidding. You want to know how it ends? They find the main control ship, make it explode and then some generic army guy says something along the lines of "now that we know how to take it down we're letting everyone know! . Way to go guys.

Speaking of Independence Day, that movie was so much better. I mean, at least that was a movie that actually...

Have you ever wondered what the ugliest car ever is? Well I'll tell you, it is the Nissan cube. I have never seen a car that could possibly look any more ing stupid than this piece of shit.

I remember the first time I saw this car. I was pulling out a parking lot and some assface was not turning right even though they had their blinker on indicating that they wanted to and they had more than one opportunity to make the turn. While waiting behind this moron of a driver I started to notice that this car wasn't one of the boxy looking cars that I occasionally see, like the Scion or Kia Soul. No, this was actually a ing box with 4 wheels on it and something wrong with the back window since it curved over to one side of the car, but not the other. Did something think that looked cool? Obviously, because it was the same kind of ing person that would design a horrid thing like that who obviously had to be the same kind of person who would actually buy that ugly nasty...

Here it is, March 9, 2011.

Hard to believe that only a year ago, a mere 365 days ago the greatest Final Fantasy game and possibly greatest RPG of all time was released. Everyone was insanely hyped for the thirteenth entry in the Final Fantasy series to be released. But some were worried, would the game live up to the hype? Would it be the amazing experience everyone hoped it would be?

The game came out and people began to play it. It would be an understatement to say everyone on earth was blown away by the magic the game had to offer. Great characters? Yep. Amazing story? You bet. Gameplay that would blow your mind? Better believe it. The meaning of life? If only the meaning of life could be so good.

Everyone on earth rejoiced, and the world was shut down for days while everyone was inside enjoying the perfectness of Final Fantasy 13. The best week of not only mine, but most people's lives. First child being born? Graduating college? Getting...

As some of you may know from one of my previous blogs, Taco Bell ripped me off in the worst possible way. I had ordered a crunchy taco and instead they gave me a soft taco. Not only gross, but also incredibly insulting.

Looking online today though, I find out that Taco Bell is offering it's famous and high quality product, the Crunchwrap Supreme, an item that not many people can afford outside of special occasions at a discount. Up until March 5th the Crunchwrap Supreme is only 88 Cents!



This happened so soon after my "little" incident where I was wronged. They may not have come out and said it, but this is obviously them trying to apologize to me for what they did. With how amazing of an offer this is, I humbly accept their apology. All this week I will be going out for some fine dining to enjoy the 88 Cent Crunchwrap Supremes offered to me.

Of course all...

A review so early you may wonder?

Well there is a reason I can write a review. I've played almost half of the demo so I think I have a pretty good idea how good (and by good I mean terrible) the game is going to be.

Firstly you'll notice the graphics are terrible. Sega Saturn quality, if even that, which begs the question why not just make it a Sega Saturn game? Everyone loved the Sega Saturn (as shown by it's sales numbers and long life-span), and I think it's about time it made a comeback. Imagine being able to play the great games of today on a Sega Saturn. Halo, Madden, Call of Duty...all these games would be better on the Sega Saturn due to its superior controller and the fact that it's named after the fiercest planet after all.

In any case at the beginning of the demo you get to pick your character. They all looked the same to me, so I have to wonder why they even bothered making more than one character. The story starts, blah blah blah....

I remember the event like it was yesterday.

It all started today while I was at work. I was starting to get a little hungry towards the end of the night and the thought came to my head that I was in the mood for authentic Mexican food at a great price, so I decide that I will go by the Taco Bell drive thru after work.

Anticipating the end of the night when I can leave I run out the door, leap over a bike rack and jump through the window of my car. I turn my car on and floor it and am on my way to delicousness.

I get there and the drive thru has a few cars, but I decide to go anyways, because the wait would be worth it...or so I thought. I order a crunchy taco, a bean burrito, and one of those new burritos with fritos in them. I pay, get my food and start driving home.

Once there I realize that the drive thru attendant did not inquire as to if I wanted any type of sauce, but whatever, I had some extra at home. I grab some fire...

Recently I was in the mood to watch some good video game movies. I had a lot of options (Doom, Street Fighter, Bloodrayne, Alone in the Dark, etc...). It came down to deciding between two. Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li which is possibly my favorite movie ever and Mortal Kombat Annihilaiton which I saw as a kid, but couldn't remember if it was good or not.

Due to not being able to remember Mortal Kombat Annihilation I decided to give that partifular movie film a viewing. Looking at the awesome cover of the DVD case I couldn't resist. The half stone half real Mortal Kombat dragon just looked awesome!



I turn it on and am greeted by the awesome title screen that really resembles the first one, but then the word Annihilation comes up to show that it annihilates the first movie because it's going to be so much better.

Everything about the movie is awesome....

It's a really important and urgent question. I'm wondering if i need to wash my hands and face now.


I was eating some pretty greasy pizza, when suddenly my face itched all over, so using my hands I rubbed my face to make the itchy feeling go away. But now I'm wondering if I need to wash my face. It doesn't itch anymore, so I'm wondering if maybe the grease is working as some sort of anti-itching agent, so I don't want to wash it off if my face will start itching again. Anyone a dermatologist and know about this by chance?

Also I'm told my keyboard is greasy and I should wash that, but I don't know if there's a point. My keyboard is pretty dirty and i think mold is growing in it. Is something like that worth trying to clean?


Please let me know what I should do guys. Looking for some advice.

So awhile ago I was fortunate enough to not only see a Sonic The Hedgehog snuggie at my local FYE, but also fortunate enough to have enough money to purchase it.



Now I thought I really enjoyed life as is, but let me tell you all, there is nothing as enjoyable in life as wearing a Sonic The Hedgehog snuggie. Not only does it make you look cool, but it also keeps you warm while leaving your hands free to do important day to day things, like playing Sonic The Hedgehog.



I had recently gotten the most amazing idea though. I figured out that if I wore the Sonic The Hedgehog snuggie backwards it would look like I was wearing a Sonic The Hedgehog cape! So, I was pretty intrigued at this though, but a little suspicious since the idea seemed too good to be true.

Carefully I put the Sonic The Hedgehog...

So Target put up $40 PS3s, right?

Well now some of us are getting CANCELLATION EMAILS!! How can they cancel if they put it up on their own?? It's not like i went up to them and said "Hey put up $40 PS3's", because I didn't. I was looking forward to playing some of the new PS3 exclusives coming out this year like Mass Effect 2, but now I cant!


I know they probably don't have 60gb PS3's in stock anymore, so they should send us new one's instead. They probably make a huge profit off them anyways. I bet they buy them for like $1 each!!

Isn't this against the law or something?

It's fun.

So with all the buzz Sony put up for 3D gaming I decided that I wanted to try it out. There are some 3D game demos on the Playstation Store so I decided to download some.

Of course i knew I needed 3D glasses to see the 3D so I went to the movie theater and pretended I was going to watch Shrek 4 but instead stole a pair of the 3D glasses. I then go home and try to play MLB The Show in 3D and it doesn't work! I have the glasses and everything. What a SCAM!!

So I've been wondering what E3 stands for. I've heard different things and just want to find out once and for all.

Can anyone help?

Also what is E3?

Thanks for the help guys!!

As many of you, I was excited to hear that Yakuza 3 was getting a U.S. release. Nothing could be better, right? As we got closer and closer to release rumors started coming up about possible features being cut from the game. Now, I'm not one to jump to conclusions so I held on to hope that these rumors were just that, rumors.

Sadly though, the rumors turned out to be true. Not only were the Hostess Bars being cut, but also shogi, and most hurtful of all was mahjong. Now, like the rest of you, the first thoughts that came to my mind when Yakuza 3 was announced for the U.S. were "Yes! Mahjong simulator with updated graphics!" Yakuza 2 mahjong was serviceable (and now the only way to play mahjong unfortunately), but I was really hoping with updated mahjong graphics in Yakuza 3.




Yakuza 2 Mahjong VS...

So I'm at the theater watching some movie (I forget what) and a trailer comes on for Season of the Witch. At first, I have no idea what it is, but I do notice that the trailer only takes up the center of the screen. Weird, but whatever.

I see Nicholas Cage (looking good as always with his long, luxurious, flowing hair) and wonder what could this trailer be for?



Some amazing and not generic at all music comes up and I just know, that whatever it is, this movie is confirmed to be awesome. It has action, the witch (I assume) asking if Nick is scared of her (stupid question I might add. His hair = Confidence) and then an amazing scene of Nick screaming passionately in the rain. Now I know, this movie has everything. Passion? Check. Rain? Check. Nicholas Cage? Double Check. The title eventually comes on as the music fades and I'm shown that this instant classic will be titled "The...

Believe me, it does. You get thoughts that you wouldn't have otherwise. Deep, provoking thoughts.


And as such I had one myself, one I felt I needed to find the answer to.

Why is applesauce so soupy? I mean, when an apple is smooshed it's not that soupy. I know, because I tried to smash an apple with my trusty hammer, and it did in fact, NOT turn into applesauce.

Suspicious indeed.



Talking to various people about said problem I was told a number of things, one being that deer spit is added? While deer spit is delicious, I don't believe I've ever tasted it in apple sauce, so that suggestion was declared false. By me

Looking further into this matter, I decided to use the internet. After all, the internet has uses other than porn. Like this one time when I used it to search for por....anyways, that point doesn't matter.


A brief search of google lead me to this youtube...