Cheap Ass Gamer - Blogs - -== by Chacrana

Cheap Ass Gamer - Blogs - -== by Chacrana http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php A current listing of cheap video games, video game sales and video game deals: CAG en Sat, 25 May 2013 15:56:25 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/images/misc/rss.jpg Cheap Ass Gamer - Blogs - -== by Chacrana http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php Legend of Kage 2 Review http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=22580 Tue, 27 Sep 2011 04:50:43 GMT Yo, real talk: Legend of Kage 2 is the worst 2D ninja game since Shinobi Legions. I mean,... Yo, real talk:

Legend of Kage 2 is the worst 2D ninja game since Shinobi Legions.

I mean, sure, there's no treesnakes or trainbullets or FMV.

But its got something stank as hellllllll goin on up in there.

The game plays like a PC Engine game, which is to say that it sucks. Your dude doesn't even have a combo to start out with - you just have a single sword swipe that you use again and again and a-fuckin-gain. Then you get a combo, but it sucks. You're like "SWEET 2 HIT COMBO ZOMG SUPER SWEET 16" but then you realize that the combo is slower than fucking Joel trying to answer a math problem, so you'll never, ever, EVER get to use it unless you just stand there like a goon and swing at the air as though your character is pretending to be in a better game.

Also, you jump like a pair of donkey balls. Like, you leap about 500 feet in the air, but you can't really control your direction when you're in the air. So it's sorta like all those shitty Famicom games where your character was a retard and couldn't jump for shit plus a shitty PC Engine action game. Which is fucking annoying, because you're trying to jump into trees (which contain no snakes, thank GAWD) and the controls are so bad that you'll realize it's probably easier to fist a baby than make a jump on your first try.

But it doesn't even fuckin' matter, cuz the game is fuckin' easy. I literally just ran through the first level without jumping once, just mashing the attack button and got through the stage without getting hit. I had to jump once or twice in the second level, but that was easy as hell. Until I got to the grandpa boss with the bigger-than-usual head, which was obnoxious cuz he took like 20 hits to kill. Then I got to the third level, and it was like... more jumping, so it was just annoying as shit for the reasons provided earlier in this treatise.

Also, Kage needs to put on a fucking shirt. That homo.

This game would've been the shit, but it's tough to say anything positive about it in this post-Shinobi III world. So basically, yeah... if this game came out before 1993, when nobody knew how to make a game, it'd probably be okay-ish. Then again, it'd also be called "The Legend of Kage"... as in the original game, which everyone fucking hated. So Taito hasn't learned anything in 25 years.

Fuck Japan, I hate you all. ]]> Chacrana http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=22580 Xbox 360 disc based exclusives have been weak in 2011 (compared to other years IMO) http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=21131 Thu, 28 Apr 2011 00:46:26 GMT I really like the Playstation, but I definitely don't like the Xbox because I'm a fan boy. But like, all the 360 exclusives this year suck so far. Like Crysis 2. Crappy shooting mechanics, gay stealth, and overall bad. I'd much rather play mod nation racers, plus I have all my friends on PSN and I can play Singstar on it too. That's all I need! Plus all the XBLA games suck so far. The ones on PSN are way better visually because theres a lot more that are anime influenced that interest me more. Everyhing on XBLA is all military games and shooters. I like how on PSN I can get gamse like Arcana Heart and Bionic Commando Rearmed 2. And all the good games are use the Kinect on the Xbox! I don't have one and don't want one so I wont ever play those games so they are not good. I like the Move better and the innovative games that came out on the system this year like the gun controller that makes shooter games so immersive like Killzone 3 and Motorstorm that are so immersive. Plus the 360 is so loud!!!!!! My PS3 is quiet!!!!!!!

Any while I know this may be an awkward time to post this blog (although I had this written several days ago while being bored at work), my PlayStation support for games will continue to remain strong. ]]> Chacrana http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=21131 Do not leave comment on blog!!! http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=21116 Tue, 26 Apr 2011 23:56:23 GMT Please dont comment in this blog because for im trying to prove a poitn. Please dont comment in this blog because for im trying to prove a poitn. ]]> Chacrana http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=21116 Why am I tired? (NOT A JOKE BLOG) http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=21107 Tue, 26 Apr 2011 00:50:11 GMT I'm tired. Today I woke up and goed to Mcdonalds and bought 5 checken selects and small fries. I ate em all up and then i went back home and sat around until now and i twas 7 hours since i did that. Yeesterday I woike up and went to Bruger King and got 8 chicken tenders and a medium fries and I ate them and went home and sat on the couch. The day before that I woke up and went to Wendys and got 10 chicken nuggets and a medium fry and went home and sat on the couch. The day before that I went to Mcdonalds and bought 10 chicken nuggets and a medium fry and went home and sat on the couch. But today I am tired.

THE MANA KNIGHT. ]]> Chacrana http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=21107 <![CDATA[PSN IS BACK UP - Quit your bitchin']]> http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=21080 Sun, 24 Apr 2011 01:58:58 GMT It's finally back online. ]]> Chacrana http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=21080 I think I murdered... (Update April 19 11:50 EST) http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=21003 Mon, 18 Apr 2011 23:45:21 GMT Edit: SHIT. Guys the cops came to my house today and they started asking questions like when i... Edit: SHIT. Guys the cops came to my house today and they started asking questions like when i was driving or stuff like that. I lied about most of it like "I wasn't driving yesterday" and "I don't know abuot any dog." They didn't arrest me so I think they bought it but I'm kind of freaking out now WTF. How did they find out

Guys today I ws driving my car when a dog ran in front of it. It was a Charlie dog about several inches tall and fairly white. I was like 100 feet away and I could have stopped but I didn't. NEways, I plowed into the guy and he was defintiely dead. So did I commit crime? Or was what I did okay. ]]> Chacrana http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=21003 My sister is bad with money (credit card related) http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=20809 Wed, 13 Apr 2011 05:50:13 GMT Lots of people know I'm very responsible with money. It's something my parents always emphasized a lot of, but for some reason my sister never got it. She got a credit card when she turned 18, and then got lots of debt on it. She kept buying shoes/clothes/music/etc. and could careless about the consequences. She was $100 in debt after three years (she paid lots of it off with money.) She took out two more credit cards and used them to buy friend chicken/cereal/cookie dough/etc. and was $3500 in debt a year later. I think she is doesn't think about what she does with her money. It reminds me of how I would spend only $10 on my haircut because I get it cut every 2 weeks but want it to be short because I hate how it looks when it grows out. Well anyway I have a date with a girl who has similar interests thogh the didn't respond to my message (had lots of stuff going on.) But my sister has a horrible credit score now of a horrible 350. Now she can't get a loan/buy a house/do anything/etc. unless she has a job which she doesn't have. I could never get myself in the same situation because I'm always careful with all my money.

Anybody else have a hard time going out with people? ]]> Chacrana http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=20809 A Short Story by Chacrana (NSFW) http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=20493 Thu, 31 Mar 2011 16:13:40 GMT Okay, so my first law class of the day was cancelled. I woke up early for it! I was annoyed, so I... Okay, so my first law class of the day was cancelled. I woke up early for it! I was annoyed, so I used the time I would've been in class to write this story instead.

This is NOT SAFE FOR WORK. Do not read it if you are easily offended or if someone's reading it over your shoulder. Particularly children.

If you don't wanna read it in red text and with all the f-words censored, go here:

http://chacranajxy.livejournal.com/

]]> Chacrana http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=20493 Marvel Vs Capcom 3 Review http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=20397 Sat, 26 Mar 2011 18:57:41 GMT One things that sucks about game is the one thats called MVC3. I mean, look at how cheap Amaterasu... One things that sucks about game is the one thats called MVC3. I mean, look at how cheap Amaterasu is! Dogs are inherently less tall that people so OF COURSE hes cheap. I played a game against a CAGer and he played not only the dog, he played Viewtiful Joe, who's the size of a dog. Which is fucking bullshit. How the fuck is Sentinal supposed to hit anyone when they're all too short!? That's another thing that pisses me off is they fucking patched the game to make Sentinal suck. Now he's just like any other character so seriously, what's the fucking point of even picking him? X-Factor sucks too. Not only does it not do anything in the game, it's obviously just fucking advertising for Simon Cowell's new show. Capcom are such shills. And what the fuck is with all the DLC? There's like 10 characters you can buy separately, and they're all losers. Who the fuck is Shoma Gurtooth aynway!? Plus versus mode is shit because you can't even play the CPU. So if you don't have a friend to play with why the hell would I even play that mode? It doesn't make any sense.

Honestly I feel like a fool for wasting $65 on the game after you include the approx. 9% sales tax they charge in my city. It is the worst fighting game I have ever played and I hope Mortal Kombat kills this. If I wanted to play Capcom characters and fight comics I'd do just that. ]]> Chacrana http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=20397 What Chac Is Buying - Vol. 4 http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=3403 Fri, 26 Sep 2008 21:49:21 GMT

I just thought it'd be best to post all my September shit at once. So I did. All stuff bought new, as always, because I'm an elitist. Busy month.

Yeah, I'll bet, queer.

So yeah, got Dragon Quest IV, got Crysis Warhead, got Yakuza 2, and got Okami... all fairly standard stuff.

But Okami's the Greatest Hits version. Ergo, you suck.

Oddly enough, no, I don't.

But if we get into cooler stuff, I also got 3 Dreamcast games: Crazy Taxi (which I had and sold a few years back... stupid move), Dino Crisis, and Mars Matrix. I always struggled to convince myself to get Mars Matrix, because the cover art is so damn boring. Yeah, I know - don't judge a book by it's cover and all that hippie shit, but c'mon - it looked boring as fuck.

Dreamcast is for Nancys. That shit is like 9 years old. It'll be 10 years old in Japan on November 27th. Who buys that shit?

Well, I guess you'll be happy to know that I also bought Rockman & Forte for the Super Famicom.

What?! Who the fuck do you think you are? Don't you realize that came out on the GBA in the US back in March of 2003?

Yeah, and I had that version. I replaced it with this. Sure, it's not in English, but you don't need much knowledge of Japanese to get by, and the sound quality in the GBA version is so shitty. The music in the SNES original was phenomenal, and Capcom just destroyed it. The graphics also lost detail when the game hit the GBA, and because of the different screen size, there were parts where you couldn't actually see spikes or enemies that were waiting below or above you. So glad I opted for this version instead.

LamePro.

I also got The Witcher: Enhanced Edition. The UK import. This time, the game was not run over, as the LE copy of the original version I'd ordered was.

So are you gonna fuckin' play it now that you've waited like... a year?

Eh, maybe.

And I got the HRAP 3 I ordered. Still haven't gotten the artwork done or put in Sanwa buttons. But I will.

What is that a bag of grass next to it? Don't fuckin' take a pic of that - you know the goddamn 5-0 patrols these parts, doncha?

Yeah, those are the replacement buttons, and the replacement ball-top.

Man, you sure waste a lot of time and money on shitty shit. Hopefully next month you'll finally invest in Tony Hawk's Boom Boom Huckjam. ]]> Chacrana http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=3403 What Chac Is Buying - Vol. 3 http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=2334 Mon, 11 Aug 2008 20:28:42 GMT Image: http://www.majhost.com/gallery/JXYTheGreat/CAGBlog/pickups4.jpg Un Genesis de Sega. I...

Un Genesis de Sega. I never had one, so I'm making up for that now, I guess. Surprisingly, this only cost me $30, even though it was new.

Hey, you wannabe Jap, what games you get for it?

Well, the only game I've gotten so far is Lightening Force, which is the misspelled US title for Thunder Force IV. Why they couldn't spell "lightning", I will never know. The box it came in smelled smokey (I hate smokers), but the game's case seems fine, so we'll see... but you can just dip shit in coffee beans to make it smell normal again, can't you? At least, that's what I've heard.

You fucking moron. I bet you voted for Bush.

I also have Castlevania: Bloodlines and Revenge of Shinobi on the way.

?What that's it? You suck! What about [insert game that I think is cool here]?

Yeah, the only games I wanna get still are Contra: Hard Corps and maybe Thunder Force III. All the other essentials (the Sonic games, Streets of Rage series, Shinobi III, Gunstar Heroes, Alien Soldier, etc.) I have on compilations, and thankfully, Genesis is broke enough of a system that these games can be emulated just fine on these compilations. So it ain't no thang. I thought about getting Splatterhouse 3, Ranger-X, and some other stuff, but it just didn't seem like must have fare.

Aaannddd... why can't you use the VC like everyone else?

Because I don't like those bastards at Nintendo trying to grab at my nuts! And more reasonably, because the sound quality isn't as good on the VC. If you hook your shit up to a good setup, you'll notice it's a little on the muddy side on the VC.

Okay, enough musing about your shitty, deprived childhood which you probably deserved. What else did you get?

Obviously, Soul Calibur IV. It's a review copy, so it was no moneys.

Who the fuck would trust you to write a cohesive sentence?

Yeah, they haven't caught on yet. I also got the new issue of PC Gamer today.

The fuck? Magazines now?

Yeah, I thought that was iffy, but I was like "eh, fuck it." They gave Space Siege a 58%, which is fucking pathetic. That game looked like it had some potential, but I had a nagging feeling that Chris Taylor actually has no idea what the fuck he's doing.

Yeah, fuck him!

I know, right?

Anyway, if you guys wanna play SC4, lemme know. ]]> Chacrana http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=2334 The Stupidest Term In Gaming http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=2089 Mon, 04 Aug 2008 16:34:31 GMT Every once in a while, somebody will go on a rant about terms like "video games," or how lame a system's name is. And that's good and fine, but such rants are pointless when you consider the stupidest term out there:

Pre-played

Motherfuck. This is the stupidest term ever. What's wrong with the term, "used," that served us so well back in the Funcoland days? It's simple and to the point, because it tells you that the game has been... well, used.

Well if you thought that terminology was okay, then fuck you. Pre-played is hip and sounds friendlier than used. Saying something is pre-played means that somebody has merely gone ahead and played the game, saving you the hassle of doing the same. Gee, thanks, guy.

So what brings this up? I was looking around Videogamecentral.com. If that doesn't ring a bell, it's the site from which the owner came to CAG and started acting like a dick. Or maybe he wasn't acting... probably not. Point is, he was exactly the type who you'd expect to carelessly fling around asinine terms.

What an asshole!

So what's the point? I guarantee you can't think can't think of a stupider term in gaming, because there isn't one. ]]> Chacrana http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=2089 What Chac Is Buying - Vol. 2 http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=1929 Wed, 30 Jul 2008 21:23:04 GMT More stuff today. I picked up Soul Calibur IV yesterday, but that's not interesting!

What else is new?

Uhm... this!

Oh, cool. Another Saturn game for the Saturn you totally don't own.

Yeah, I'm just buying the games right now, and when I do get around to buying the actual system, it's gonna be legit.

So why the hell did you buy Silhouette Mirage for the fuggin' Saturn. It came out in the US for the PS Single.

Because your friend and mine, Victor Ireland (that Working Designs dude) brought over the graphically inferior PS1 version, and fucked up the gameplay. It was awful. The original game is phenomenal stuff, though. Some have called it the best Treasure game.

Whatev. Let's see the back of the case.

GAY.

I also got an MGS4 Bluetoof headset so I can talk and mock you while playing Soul Calibur IV and the other fighting games hitting later this year.

I'm better than you at Soul Calibur.

Wrong.

So anyway, if you gais have headsets, plug that shit in and we kan lik chat and stuff. ]]> Chacrana http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=1929 What Chac Is Buying - Vol. 1 http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=1709 Wed, 23 Jul 2008 21:02:19 GMT So, some stuff came in the mail today. What, you get that 8-year-old girl you wanted so bad? ... So, some stuff came in the mail today.

What, you get that 8-year-old girl you wanted so bad?

Let's keep that on the DL, eh? That shit's harder to come by than you might think. What I did get is this:

The prime pickup here is Mega Man X4 for the Saturn.

Uh, Chac... you don't even have a Saturn.

Err.... yeah, that's kinda a good point. But actually, I intend to get one now and I want to have the best version of the Mega Man games, so this had to be done. X4 is probably my favorite MM game overall, since it's basically the best expression of what the original MMX was trying to do.

Whatever. What else you got? I see some gurrl power. That some sick-as-shit hentai?

Naw, that's My-Hime Vol. 7. I started that show like 2 years ago... just never got around to finishing it. It's really good, though, and despite the covers (which make the show difficult to buy at a retail store), it's definitely worth picking up.

Tsh, acting like I don't know any better. If that isn't hentai, then that other shit is.

You mean Le Chevalier D'Eon Vols. 3 and 6?

Yeah. Oh, and why the fuck would you buy Vols. 3 and 6 of a show? Isn't that kinda retarded?

You know, you're a bastard. I got those volumes because I already had Vols. 1, 2, and 4 (4, because it was on sale at one point and Vol. 3 was OOS.) I've got Vol. 5 on the way now, as well, but that wasn't in stock when I placed the order. Lotta bullshit to deal with to watch this show.

Well, is it any good? I reckon not if you bought it.

Actually, it's phenomenal. Great storyline, great action, and it's damn pretty to look at. Plus, France doesn't get enough attention in anime or movies. Then again, France is a shithole, if my trip to Paris was any indication. Good food, though.

Sure, fatty. But wait, isn't this that show where the main character is a dude, but his sister takes over his body? That's weird.

Yeah, it's kinda weird. You'll get over it. Go buy it if you have any sense.

Yeah, I won't. ]]> Chacrana http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=1709 How Can This Be? A Good Press Conference? Nonsense! Konami Delivers. http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=1448 Wed, 16 Jul 2008 22:52:43 GMT Image: http://www.konami-data.com/e3/2008/images/footer_02.gif The last major press conference...

The last major press conference of E3 was Konami's, and it was easily the best conference. This was due to the presence of games. The fact that some of them didn’t look like shit was really just a bonus.

The Konami presser began with a discussion of Metal Gear Solid 4 and Metal Gear Online. The latter should be receiving its first expansion, Gene, sometime soon. The expansion contains new maps, characters, items, and a survival mode. There weren’t any trailers or new shots to see, but it seems Konami is really intent on supporting MGO.

Next up was Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia for the DS, which was detailed by Koji Igarashi. Yes, he had his stupid hat with him, as always.

It’s… Castlevania! You know how it is by now. Most of the environments looked to be outside of the Castle, and the brief clips implied level design that would be more interesting than in past outings. At the very least, it looks much better than Portrait of Ruin. The new trailer was enough to get me excited, and I’ll most definitely be picking this one up on day 1.

Iga then showed a new trailer for Castlevania: Judgment for the Wii, which he insists isn’t a 3D fighter, but rather, a 3D action game. The trailer actually looked pretty interesting… almost like a fully realized version of Lament of Innocence’s combat system (which was good, regardless of how you feel about that game’s level design.) Unfortunately, Iga also demonstrated how the game worked. Move with the nunchuck, block with Z, shake the nunchuck to dodge, shake the Wii-mote to attack, and press Wii-mote buttons to change your attacks. Iga claims this moronic control scheme was concocted because people wanted to use the controller as a whip. Sorry, Iga, but we didn’t think you’d make a damn fighting game with it. You can pick up certain objects in the environment, giving the game a Power Stone vibe, though I’m still far from convinced that the combat here will be any fun in practice. I’m predicting a 45% average on Gamerankings for this one.

Then, it was finally time for Silent Hill: Homecoming, which was arguably the most interesting game Konami's been cooking up. The trailer was cut like your standard horror movie trailer, meaning it was largely useless. Luckily, the folks at Konami still had a walkthrough of one of the game’s levels. The game now has a much-needed free look system and an over-the-shoulder view for shooting. There’s even a dialog tree system for interacting with other people, and your choices apparently affects the ending you receive. The main character, Alex, is quite agile and seems capable of rolling out of the way of attacks, and the melee combat appears to be smooth… so perhaps this finally fixes the most glaring flaws of previous games. While the Konami team didn’t show off everything in the game, the combat does look very promising, and the game is just as creepy and disturbing as you’d expect.

Konami then shifted to Rock Revolution: the company's bastardization of Rock Band, which in turn is a bastardization of Konami’s own music game properties. Funny how the world works. Actually, it really was funny, because the demonstrator came on stage and asked how everyone was doing. Nobody answered. Then some "performers" proceeded to offer the worst karaoke performance of a Ramones (read: crap) song I’ve ever heard. This was LIPS levels of terrible, and I absolutely realize what a bold statement I've just made. The silly demonstrator then shifted to playing the actual game, missing most of the notes and eventually failing the song. FAILING THE DAMN SONG. What the hell were they trying to prove here? Inability aside, the demonstration of the left me feeling just as unenthusiastic about the game as I was before, but I do like that the notes scroll vertically instead of towards you like in Rock Band and Guitar Hero. That’s really the only positive thing that can be said about the game, though.

That concluded the show. I was a little disappointed that they didn’t show off Time Hollow, which looks like quite an intriguing adventure with a few touches of creep-ery, as indicated by the second shot:

There was actually good stuff to be seen at Konami’s event. While yeah, Rock Revolution is more of a devolution than anything and Castlevania Judgment is essentially a joke, I’m still stoked about Order of Ecclesia and have a renewed faith in Silent Hill: Homecoming. While Konami didn’t discuss everything they’ve got slated for release this year, much of what they do have at E3 holds great promise. ]]> Chacrana http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/blog.php?b=1448