Cheap Ass Gamer - Blogs - Dr. Venkman

I am going to be a father. HOLY SHIT.

Dr. Venkman — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 02:06:19 GMT

My birthday was yesterday. Today is April fools.

Normally, one would be on the offensive for pranks and such right?

My girlfriend informed me that we are having a baby.

I laughed. "Nice try!"

She wasn't kidding.

The joke's on me, I'm going to be a dad you guys.

I am freaking out right now.

Wish me luck and throw me some advice!

Grimm's Story.

Dr. Venkman — Fri, 05 Oct 2012 01:22:40 GMT

Note: I am a dog lover. I am attached to chinese shar-pei like nobody's business. Not to sound snobbish, but shar-pei mixes don't count. (behavior is much different) I never buy dogs from a breeder, I rescue them always.

Back in April of this year I was told by a client that Portland Humane Society would be getting about 30 Shar-Pei that were confiscated by a puppy mill/breeder due to terrible health and living conditions.

I called them instantly and was told that the first day of adoption would be May 10th.

I left the day before to head from Coos Bay to Portland, which is about a 3 hour and 45 minute drive. Played a lot of pinball and stayed in a Motel 6, brought my 5 1/2 year old chocolate shar-pei (Bowser) with me.

Woke up bright and early and strolled in at 10:15 am, ready to adopt. The first picture I saw that caught my eye was a 6 month-old little girl named "Sarafina." I fell in love instantly. I asked to see her and I was told that someone was looking at her currently and to keep looking just in case. The next was a little boy named "Robin Hood". According to dental records he was 3 years old but he was barely bigger than Sarafina due to malnourishment.

They took me into a meeting room (for dogs) and walked him in with a harness and a leash. To say that he was in bad shape is a severe understatement. His ribs were very visable, he was missing hair from 90% of his body and he was COVERED in red sores from demodex mites. He had very little energy but I saw so much love in his eyes and I knew he needed help.

My ex and I remain friends (we were together for 7 years) and she introduced me to the breed...I owe my love of shar-pei to her. As I was visiting Robin Hood they told me the previous couple had passed on Sarafina, and would it be okay if they brought her in as well.

In comes this little girl, missing hair from 80% of her body, also covered in red sores from the mites. Man oh man, was she ever spunky! She bounced around like a bunny rabbit and picked up Robin Hood's leash and started tugging on it to get his attention. Then she started nosing and kissing him.

I FELL IN LOVE. THERE WAS NO WAY I COULDN'T ADOPT JUST ONE.

I already had my ID copied and my paperwork ready. $150 per puppy later and I was a proud papa. I was told that they would be a lot of work, both behavior and health wise and that they needed a financially stable home for proper care.

I texted my ex and told her I had adopted not one, but two pups. She had planned on coming up to adopt in a few days and asked when I returned to town if she could meet them.

After we got home and I took them to meet her, she fell for the little girl. I didn't want to part with either of them but I offered her the boy only if we had "visitation rights". She took him home that night to see how things would work out with Bluto, her shar-pei.

They got along great, but my ex and her boyfriend developed a rash due to the dry skin on Robin Hood and the demodex. She then realized she wasn't in the best situation financially and after 3 weeks told me she couldn't rightfully keep him.

We were united once again! I did my own research on how to care for the mites and within 2 1/2 months they both looked a million times better! I was SO happy. He became bouncy, spastic, energetic. SO full of love, especially when I came home every day. He followed me around everywhere, like a shadow. Whenever I'd put my socks on in the morning, he'd try to pull them off my feet. He'd sleep on my chest. He'd try to nibble on my hands.

Since Sarafina and Robin Hood were names given to them by the shelter, the pups didn't respond to them. I changed them day 1 to "Jelly" and "Grimm".

I came home October 2nd at around 9pm. All three "kids" met me at the door like always, jumping on me, begging for my affection. I sat down on the floor and greeted them all and gave them love, told them I missed them. I played Resident Evil 6 for an hour or so and then ate dinner with my GF. We started watching the rest of Alien 3 on blu-ray and she asked "Did you feed the kids dinner?"

I mentioned that it slipped my mind and I would do it right then.

I stand up and say "Who wants foods?!" with my hands in the air. They all get excited for dinner time.

I gave them all their food and went to the bathroom to wash my hands. Not even 10 seconds later I hear Dizzy (my GF) say "Hun, I think there's something wrong with Grimm."

I walk out and he's stubling in front of the coffee table. His legs cris-cross and he falls over like a lawn chair in the wind. I run to his side to check him out. He lets out a sharp yelp 2-3 times and then expels waste.

It took all of 20 seconds for him to die in front of my eyes from heart failure.

I had never felt so powerless in my entire life. To say that I had a breakdown wouldn't even begin to describe my night.

My boss demanded that I take a day off to care for Grimm, to take him to the mortuary and have him cremated like I have done with my two previous. I have my pity party but I try to keep my head up: I gave him the best life I possibly could and he showed me love like no other. I have two kids at home that love and think the world of me.

Today was my first day back. It's hard but I manage.

I know this story really doesn't have an ending, but all of you here at CAG feel like family at times. It helps to tell my story and share with others. If you have any pets at home, never forget to tell them you care for them and never take them for granted.

Rest in peace, Grimm. <3

Nsfw: Wtf do i do?!

Dr. Venkman — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 02:47:22 GMT

Ugh.

This blog won't be good, trust me. But I have to share this with someone.

This blog is NSFW in parts. I'll try and spoiler the worst sections for you.

Back in November 2010 I dated a girl named "Miranda". She wasn't my type at all: Blond hair, addicted to tanning beds, watched Jersey Shore, etc. (No offense to anyone out there that might fit this description)

But I had been single for a few months at that time and I decided to try something new. You never know where you're gonna find the right girl, right?

We dated for all of 30 days, if that. Slept together maybe 5 times total. Each time we were intimate..

This has never been a problem for me. Not saying I'm a "sprinter" in the bedroom, but it was never like this.

I had assumed that it was because I'm not really attracted to blonde girls (No offense to anyone out there LOL) and that we didn't really connect on a personal level as much as I had wanted.

I was at my mother's house for Thanksgiving and I showed her pictures of "Miranda" for the first time. My mom then mentions to me that she looks familiar, but cannot quite put her finger on it. Then she changes the subject.

THEN IT HITS ME.

UGH.

I get sick. I get light-headed. I feel gross and dirty in a way that I've never before experienced.

Miranda and I never slept together again, and broke up about 6 days later.

FLASH FORWARD TO LAST WEEKEND:

My current girlfriend "Gwen" asks to come with me from Oregon to California for father's day weekend. I lost my dad to cancer last year so all/most of the kids got together as a tribute of sorts and to share stories and have some laughs.

On the way home, "Gwen" asks me to tell her something I've never told anyone before as a way of getting to know me better.

I'm tired and driving. Not really thinking, I tell her about "Miranda" and the problems I had.

"Oh".

Not a response I was looking for. But what did I expect?!

She goes quiet for about an hour.

THEN SHE ASKS ME THE FOLLOWING QUESTION WHICH I CANNOT GET OUT OF MY HEAD: (and she wasn't joking)

AND I QUOTE:

WOW.

WOW.

WOW.

Am I making a big deal over nothing? They were just words, after all...

But I've been sick to my stomach for 3 days because of her words. That she would even think to ask me that question.

What sucks is that she's an amazing girl, and an even more amazing girlfriend.

What sucks more is that I'm afraid I will distance myself so much now that it won't be fair, it'll cause her pain, and I'll have to leave her.

I hope this passes and that I get over it. If not, this week is going to suck. This girl ADORES me...I cannot imagine breaking her heart.

The worst Valentine's day I've ever had. WARNING: NSFW and Disgusting

Dr. Venkman — Sat, 30 Apr 2011 01:14:15 GMT

This is a true story that happened to me long ago. It's something that people make me re-tell to those that had missed out and it's sadly something that I'm famous for in this small podunk town.

NOTE: My grammar is crap.

This story is NSFW kinda and pretty gross. If I'm violating some kind of CAG rule by posting this I wholeheartedly apologize, tis' not my intent.

Here's the story as I've told it hundreds of times:

"On friday the 13th (chew chew chew ka ka ka) I went to a party to get DRUNK. Another friend of mine passed away the week before so it was time to drown the sorrow with beer and Jameson.

I'm in the basement playing a Marvel Vs. Capcom 2 arcade machine and I'm pretty tipsy. (I'm using Amingo for crying out loud!) This girl who I don't know comes down stairs and hands me a bottle and says "try this, it's delicious." It has no label. First warning sign.

I ask "what in the hell is this?" (I'm a little rude now as I've already had too many) She responds with "really really good vodka. It burns a little though." So I take a couple chugs and hand it back. Then I take it from her and walk around,eventually drinking most of what was left.

I find out a short time later that it's everclear. UG. I'm no professional drinker by any means, but I do seriously enjoy a 40 or 2 of Mickeys on occasion. Drunk people usually get on my damn nerves so I try to avoid becoming one.

I don't remember the rest of the night to say the least...I'm guessing I eventually blacked out. A few people later told me I was laying across a pool table, judging people, making weird noises and other embarassing crap.

Next morning comes by (this morning, valentine's day), and I feel like dog shit. I get up eventually and my girlfriend is taking a shower. (*insert wolf whistle) She says "Good morning sweetie! I didn't know if we were doing gifts this year or if we were just going to spend the day together like we normally do". I said "well, what I want won't cost you a dime."

"Oh? And what would that be?"

"Press them against the glass for me". She does, and it's awesome. (Transparent/Opaque Shower doors are awesome when combined with attractive women)

Fast forward to 20 mins later, she's doing her hair in the bathroom, and I'm in the shower. I then get an idea.

"Hey hun, I know we aren't doing gifts this year but I made you breakfast."

"Seriously?! How sweet! What did you make me?"

"A ham sandwich."

I press my ass against the glass. Classy move, I know.

"You're a pig. I hope you know this."

NOTE: Still hungover and kinda drunk from the night before, I feel a fart coming. I'm a guy (and retarded) so I think farts are funny, moreso because I am still shithouse drunk.

"Oh yeah? Well check this out."

I bust it out on the glass and it makes a VERY LOUD clapping noise. I then started laughing as hard as possible.

I continue farting because at this point, why not right? With my ass still pressed against the glass and me laughing with my body poisoned with alcohol I fail to realize that I have an upset stomach.

I hear a loud scream. I then realize that I am spraying liquid shit ALL OVER THE SHOWER DOOR with my girlfriend standing RIGHT THERE.

I turn and I keep laughing and at this point it's seriously spraying over my cheeks and damn near clearing each side of the shower, bubbling and all.

The first Valentine's Day in a long time where the good ol' doctor did not score any V-Day tail.

I'd be hard pressed to find a moment where I was more disgusted with myself.

You're welcome.

The fine line between jealousy and reason

Dr. Venkman — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 00:22:16 GMT

Topic: I had an argument with my girlfriend of 7 years last week.

I was told on the morning of August 7th of this year that my father had lost his battle with cancer. He was 80 years old. (I'm 28 so yeah he had me late in life) While it was THE hardest thing I've ever experienced I DO view it as a normal part of life and I'm thankful that he's not suffering anymore.

So to say the least this month has been a stressful and trying time for me. I dislike people that use tragedies in life to get attention so that wasn't my approach...but I did outright ask people to please be patient with me because I wasn't myself: My temper was at a peak, attention span was shortened dramatically and my patience was non-existent.
My girlfriend has most of her male co-workers in her contact list, but instead of listing them by name, she stores them by officer number (They work security). At first this made me uncomfortable, as it appeared at first like she had something to hide...but I let it go as I realized that's just jealous boyfriend thinking. In all honestly she's REALLY NOT that kind of person. We've been best friends for 11 years now and have been dating for 7 of them. I have no worries about her loyalty.

The week of my dad's funeral her phone receives a text message. She left the phone upstairs so I grab it and walk it downstairs to her as she's working in the garden. I go to hand her the phone and I see the text previewed on the phone as "Good morning beautiful ;)".
Not gonna lie: This bugged me. I handed her the phone and said nothing for the time being. I was drinking coffee and she asked me if I was okay, and I explained to her in a very polite way that those texts bothered me as a boyfriend. I also explained that I'm not worried or suspicious and that I don't mean to intrude on her privacy. She tells me it's just the way this guy talks to girls he's friends with and he means no harm. I ask her if she could please tell him to not use such terms around me because it makes me feel uncomfortable as a boyfriend. She gets upset and walks away.

Two days later, which is now two days until my dad's funeral this happens again. Her phone goes off, she yells from downstairs to please bring her the phone, and I pick it up and it says "Such a beautiful day, Angel. :)"
I hand her the phone and without saying a word I leave to go to work. On the way to work I ponder several immature options, then I decide to handle it in the most mature way I can think of. I call her and ask her to have Dave (the guy in question) call me. She asks me what it's about. I tell her nicely that I just want to talk to him and to please ask him to call me. She doesn't seem pleased but she agrees. 10 minutes later he calls. I don't yell, I don't name-call, I take a deep breath and politely explain to him that this month has been very hard for me, and some days all it takes is the slightest nudge to send me over the edge. I then explain to him that these "terms of endearment" he uses towards my girlfriend of 7 years make me very uncomfortable and I tell him I mean no offense, but I find them to be rude and disrespectful. (This guy is married with 4 kids BTW). I tell him if I worked with his wife and had her cell number, I wouldn't call her these things out of respect for him AND because I'd find it disrespectful towards my girlfriend. (I only have one "angel" in my life and I love her with all my heart.)

He apologizes like a man and sounds very sincere. I tell him I have no problem with him and ask him if in his opinion if I'm sounding unfair. (He explains that he meant no harm, he feels super embarrassed and that it's just the way he talks to his female friends...and that no one has been offended before). I also give him friendly advice that in a workplace you have to be careful: One wrong term can land you in unemployment or on the receiving end of a sexual harassment suit. (I wasn't threatening, but I've seen it happen). He totally agrees, asks if we're cool, and we joke a little at the end. After our conversation is over, I feel 100% better and I'm actually proud of how I handled said situation.

Here comes the argument:
She calls me later and asks me to tell her what we talked about. I explain to her what was said and that no one is mad, that is was handled like adults and all is well. She became VERY upset. She starts crying and saying depressing things: "So people can't give me compliments?" "Now he's going to act weird around me and work is going to be awkward", "My stomach is in knots now" etc,. I try to calm her down and explain that of course she can have guy friends, I just felt uncomfortable with the words he chose to use. She says that's just the way he talks and he can't help it...I explained to her that when my father was younger would use racial slurs and other inappropriate remarks because it's what he grew up around; when people told him that his words hurt them, he'd apologize and watch what he said. So if my dad of all people (as stubborn as he is) can change, anyone can.

Fast forward to present time: The funeral is over, and I'm back home. (From California back to Oregon) Things were a little awkward at first but like all of our arguments we have worked through it and are better now.
What I'm asking if for your thoughts and reflections: Did I act foolish? Was I being immature? I'm open to all comments.

Keep or sell: Your suggestions?

Dr. Venkman — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 04:41:55 GMT

I currently own 308 disc based Playstation 3 games. And my grammar and sentence structure are horrible. Just thought I'd issue a spoiler warning. :hot:

(If I spent all my time trying to sound smarter then I am and/or correcting every mistake I type on the internet I know for a fact I'd never have time to do anything else.)

I checked last night after a few shots of Sailor Jerry's spiced rum and I realized I haven't even PLAYED 75% of them. (I work at least 60 hours a week, I have a girlfriend of 7 years and I have two attention demanding pure-bred chinese shar-pei.)

My girlfriend is amazing and she supports my habit and has never ever passed judgment towards it...but I realized that I may be what some people consider a "hoarder", a person that just acquires things for no gainful purpose. I assume it fills some kind of void in their life?

A friend of mine was searching on youtube and apparently there's a guy on there who claims to have like over 360 games for his PS3...and he says compared to any other video on youtube he has proof of what he calls "the biggest ps3 collection ever".

After watching his video and reading his comments I "woke up" a bit. This is definatley NOT a "contest" I ever intend to win (having the biggest PS3 collection ever). I mean really, what's the prize? What could I really say to make me feel good about that fact? That I own almost every U.S. released game for a system, even Hannah Montana? That's seriously not something I'd ever want to brag about or be known for. :roll:

I started collecting because I'm a true CAG at heart and I simply cannot pass up a good deal when I see one...even IF I know I'll hate the game I'm buying! I saw Ice Age for PS3 at a pawn shop the other day for $10, and knowing that it normally goes for more then that I bought it. Why? I have no idea. I don't normally buy ps3 games to just "flip" them. I bought simply because it was a "good deal". Yes I love quotations. ;)

So now I'm at an idiotic crossroad: Keep my collection and let it grow because it makes me happy, or sell off the "shovelware" and other stuff I've beaten and/or have no intention to play? Somewhere in my nerd heart I know if I sell like even half my collection even though I'll still have 150 games remaining that it'll make me depressed. I cannot explain why...but it's getting to a point now where I'm starting to wonder where this will all end? Do I keep doing something that for NO reason makes me happy? Or do I liquidate at least half and wake up?

It does feel good when for example, a friend wants to buy a game but can't afford it, and I obviously own it so I let him/her borrow it for a few days, weeks...whatever. They return it when they are done and I saved them money. They all know me as "Simon the body piercer and PS3 guy"...which I know MAY sound to some like I've never kissed a girl but it's still a humble thing to hear 8-)

I have no money problems (thank god), I'm very very very fortunate to be in a business and have a career that pays well. I own my own home at the age of 28 so I don't pay rent (but I do pay the involved taxes) so this isn't a question of whether I can afford it or not...it's just something I guess I needed to get off my chest...and being new here to CAG and enjoying all the blogs and posts I read I figured for better or worse I'd post my feelings here to see what your responses are.

I appreciate all of you for taking the time to read this and for putting up with my rambling. Your thoughts?