Santa Claws - 1/5 - Painfully dreadful Santa horror film. takes place at an adult film studio where a man dressed later as santa murders all of 'Raven's' coworkers. Raven being a adult film star who is also dubbed 'Scream Queen' for Scream Productions...yet all their films had no one screaming...just stripping. The only humor you will get out of the film is by the godawful sound editing. During the single out door scene 2 kids and their mother are walking a dog. They say about 3 lines but a distinct echo from the recording studio made it hysterical. I dunno how a sound editor could have gave that an okay. Anyways definitely pass Santa Claws. It may seem clever but there are some far better santa horror films. Santa Claws does not have much horror, gore, or santa slaying.
Speaking of Santa Slaying..
Santa's Slay - 3/5 - Bill Goldberg runs around massacring all the naughty & nice around xmas. Goldberg plays a Nordic god, Santa, who goes around slaughtering everyone for no real reason besides that he can now since all bets are off during Christmas time. The beginning of this film is probably one of the highlights from my Santa/Christmas themed horror movieathon, where Goldberg comes in and murders Fran Drescher aka 'The Nanny', James Caan, and Rebecca Gayheart. Sadly there isn't many stars in this film but having Goldberg off a bunch of sudo stars at the beginning is the only real worth while part of Santa's Slay.
The appeal of Goldberg flipping people and tossing them into dumpsters lasts about an hour, the film runs 78minutes. The story starts off semi interesting how Santa does this bet to be good for a thousand years. Somewhat clever early on but definitely not interesting later in the film. If there would have been more over the top gore I think I would have enjoyed it. Some God of War-esc ripping people in half would have made this movie WAY better.
off to see Sherlock Holmes...