I've done this before. It's good that she doesn't want you to meet her kid right away. It shows she is responsible. Since you've been dating this long I'll skip over baby daddy stuff and go straight to meeting the kid.

I don't know how old the kid it but getting on his good side is important. If the kid hates you your dating life will suck. If the kid is young bring him something small the first time you meet. The woman I was dating had a daughter I brought her a stuffed dog. Scored major points with mom.

Never discipline the kid or offer parenting advice. No matter how annoying her kid gets it's not your job. I wouldn't suggest any long activities at first. They can make kids tired and cranky. I met her daughter at dinner at her house.

You are going to have to put effort into the kid as well as mom. I would juggle for her daughter, had tea parties with her, and watched kids shows/movies.

Just be careful. If you and mom break up the kid will be upset you don't come around anymore.

Originally Posted by crunchb3rry Dating a single mom would be nice. But I think it would be cooler to date two moms. As long as they don't find out about eachother.

nah a mom and her daughter. that would be the ultimate pull.

Originally Posted by lokizz nah a mom and her daughter. that would be the ultimate pull.

I'm pretty sure you get a ticket straight to hell for that. All three of you.

Originally Posted by lokizz nah a mom and her daughter. that would be the ultimate pull.

I almost had that situation at one point. I was seeing a 35-36 year old mom when I was 25 or so. Only problem was her kid was like 16 or so(legal in PA is 18). I never met the kid though since the mom lived an hour or so away and used to only come up for a lil fun.

Only other time I dated or messed around with a single mom was this one Hispanic chick. She had 4 kids, two older and two very young. The young ones came in the one night when we were in bed and asked when she was getting back with daddy. That sucked bad since I had some serious feelings for her. But at least one of the older kids was a gamer and showed me the one gaming shop that I never even knew was there.

But yeah, definitely take it slow OP.

Everything silentevil just said. No matter what, no matter when, if it comes down to you or the kid, you will always lose. No matter how right you think you are, you're wrong. Remember that.

Yes, I've been down this road and I'm still on it. It's not an easy path.

Some interesting stuff in here.

Something I haven't seen: watch for family who will be overprotective of the kid around you.

A close relative is almost divorced from her alcoholic drug absuing abusive husband and a bunch of us have pretty much agreed if she ever tries to be with another loser( she has a history of being a dingbat) like her husband we are going to send him running for the hills with a tin hat. She can ruin her life but we aren't letting her drag her kid down with her. Kid shouldn't have to suffer, so think, does she have a history of dating losers her family warned her about?

well that's the beauty of it all, I know her whole family and they already know me. Granted they haven't seen me in 15 years but still... From what she says, they're all pretty happy that we bumped into each other again. Well, one brother is a little frightened since he beat me up when I was 7 and he fears retribution! No reason to fear of course.

Did it once, would never do it again unless a last resort. My relationship with my ex was fantastic until her kids started getting involved and meddling. Then it turned into complete shit.

Unless you have kids of your own OP, run while you still can.

Originally Posted by Ziv Everything silentevil just said. No matter what, no matter when, if it comes down to you or the kid, you will always lose. No matter how right you think you are, you're wrong. Remember that. Yes, I've been down this road and I'm still on it. It's not an easy path.

Agreed. You'll always be #2 or #3 when there are kids are involved. Mothers do anything for their kids, even ditch the b/f if pressed hard enough.

Ok fella. Let's be rational.

1) 2 months - nowhere near enough time for a mom to start bringing you around to her kid. Doesn't matter how long you've known her off and on throughout the years.
2) Perfect for each other - have you lived with her? I've known girls who will like what the guy likes to try to make it seem like they're perfect for one another.
3) Psycho ex. What was her family life like when she was younger? Is this a pattern for her? What drew her to him in the first place? Danger? Trying to change him? You should be prepared for this guy to make your life hell.
4) Wanting to donate toys - way too eager. It's almost like you want to be her knight in shining armor.

To me, lots of red flags here. You jump into the deep end right away, you might struggle to swim. Chill out and go slow.

Originally Posted by crunchb3rry Dating a single mom would be nice. But I think it would be cooler to date two moms. As long as they don't find out about eachother.

Tagged.

All the single moms I dated were really easy. They quickly introduced me to their kids, and I just maintained the role of "mom's buddy." I'm telling you though... the best sex I've ever had was with women who have kids.

Edit: What I meant to say is... have fun banging her, keep the kid at a distance, and when she gets to the serious settling down point, run your ass off.

I wouldn't date a single mom. They have kids or possibly baby. HAIL BABY. You must pay tribune to the children. If you want it to be all about you, then fall back and run.

Originally Posted by confoosious Can't wait to find out that the kid.... does. not. exist. dun dun dun!

Or that. . .the kid is his!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbusENG6hCE

The only thing I'd be worried about is the ex coming after my ass with a chainsaw.

This is the worst-replied thread I've ever read on CAG.

Originally Posted by Kerig This is the worst-replied thread I've ever read on CAG.

I hope you're not including my replies. I even dropped a more than relevant Jerry Maguire clip.

Don't date single mothers! They already made one mistake. Don't be the next mistake!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxjLNvoW850

Originally Posted by shieryda The only thing I'd be worried about is the ex coming after my ass with a chainsaw.

Its time to start looking into gun laws and a safety course if needed, much better to deal with a stand your ground case than a murder-suicide. People get a little funny in the head when you start talking about taking them out of their kid's life permanently.

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The win to win over everyone's trust here is to assure the mom that you have a fun, windowless fan and lots of candy so you and the kid can have lots of fun! She'll practically donate him to you.