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Ok, not really a game deal but it's regional. But in case anybody wants a cheapass carton of Camel Turkish Jade Lights, I'm putting it here. Call it boredom at work, or just an attempt to help somebody get a cheapass nicotine fix.. whatever.

Smoking is an Alabama tradition.. like our fatty foods, beer, college football, or using Boone's Farm Strawberry Wine in high school to get laid. (Cousin humping is only a rural Alabama tradition, not statewide). It's kind of like the Hardee's commercial, smoking is passed down from generation to generation.

Entec gas stations (local Montgomery area gas station chain) has cartons of Camel Turkish Jade Lights in their computer as $2.69. That's 10 packs of lung coating, cancer causing, menthol tingling goodness at 1/10th of what you'd otherwise pay.

Buy them, light them, get shitfaced and chain smoke them at a bar.. whichever you prefer. This is one of those rare instances where the local unreliable and idiotic staff of all of our local establishments pays in gold (well.. Turkish Jade at least).

Better yet, you could even likely find a crackhead who would gladly trade his little brother's video games for a carton of smokes! Crooked and mean.. but hey, this is Montgomery Alabama we're talking about here.

Or.. take it to one of many of our local corrections facilities, and trade it with a convict to hire him for your dirty deeds done dirt cheap.

On a closing note, if anybody finds any vodka or spiced rum deals, please pm me (and that doesn't include Aristocrat).

Wow this may be up for thread of the year!

for that price, its almost the perfect time to use those nicotine patches to pick up the smoking habit....you know, work your way into it....

Damn!!! That's a sweet deal, and I don't even smoke menthols unless I'm totally blasted and need to bum one off my menthol-smokin' friend.

Wish I was back in Montgomery... best I can do out here is a carton of Camels for $18ish plus tax.

Originally Posted by Scobie Damn!!! That's a sweet deal, and I don't even smoke menthols unless I'm totally blasted and need to bum one off my menthol-smokin' friend. Wish I was back in Montgomery... best I can do out here is a carton of Camels for $18ish plus tax.

Better yet, they're Camel Turkish Jade Lights: a "mellow menthol blend." They're smooth and mellow.. because the box says so!

All I had to do to get my cheapass carton (this is the 4th time I've gotten them at this price, every failure is due to somebody catching it and scratching their redneck ass and saying "wait there a minute.. that ain't right." I love Alabamians deep in thought.. anyways, this redneck guy was standing at the gas station window, with no teeth, in boxers and barefooted and wanted to purchase 3 pack of Doral lights and a bootleg gas station rice krispie treat. He pulled the cash out of his crotch for the transaction, and dusted off the dollar bills prior to the exchange (I'm not bullshitting.. this happenned).

All CAGs should visit our lovely state. We have cornbread fed women, the best college football players, and the most convincing population of why conservative government can damn a people.

That and.. well.. the ghetto fabulous Caprice cars on 22" rims and food painted themes.. like the Waffle House car with black and yellow spinners (complete with tinted windows and the Waffle House logo painted on the side!) or the Caprice with red and yellow spinners, with a custom arches and "I'm lovin' it!" logo on the back window.

Our citizens may have sex with farm animals (Google "Pita protests pony dying after man has sex with it and isn't prosecuted," also spoke about in a Jay Leno monologue), the locals may fight in bars over Nascar drivers; our locals may define a get rich quick scheme as a meth lab in a single wide trailer, and it may be legal to beat a women with a stick as long as it is no longer than 1/2" in diameter (in our state constitution)... but we can sell some cheap smokes, drink some beer, and fry some ing okra beotches.

I Think it is kind of sad that one of my favorite southern restraunts is Waffle House, but Damn those Hashbrowns are good, and I also drive a caprice....But I am from Minnesota, so maybe that makes it a little more different.

Still working as of today, as I distracted the cashier while she rung the carton up with discussion of their contreception selection and lack of beer sales while she rang up the carton and a bottle of Aquafina.

Originally Posted by Skylander7 That and.. well.. the ghetto fabulous Caprice cars on 22" rims and food painted themes.. like the Waffle House car with black and yellow spinners (complete with tinted windows and the Waffle House logo painted on the side!) or the Caprice with red and yellow spinners, with a custom arches and "I'm lovin' it!" logo on the back window.

Hrmm, I don't think I've seen the Waffle House car yet. Have you seen the Skittles SUV? There's another one, too - I'm thinking maybe M&M's? What the hell is up with that, anyway? You'd have to pay me - a lot - to do that to my car. But what's sad is I know these people paid to have it done! I think I'm in the wrong line of work....

Are you allowed to send cigs in the mail? If so if some ones looking to make a couple of bucks I'll paypal you money for 3 cartons plus 12 dollars, I would really appreciate it as it costs me 28.70 to buy a carton of camels up here PM if you want to make a couple of bucks easy.

Scored another carton today, I usually get caught in the act 50% of the time now. This time, I bought a newspaper, $20 in gas, and got the $2 carton. I requested the carton as the woman was talking with a coworker about her no-good baby daddy, who kept borrowing her car during the day and farting in the bed. I politely asked for a carton, and requested the newspaper as she rung it up to distract her.

As I pulled away, listening to Beck's The Information, I smiled in triumph as I looked over the receipt. However, as I did, a purple Chevy Malibu pulled into the exit lane sporting flashy plastic hubcaps and a yellow pair of fuzzy dice in the mirror, and an airbrushed license plate on the front. She almost hit me head on, and flipped me off as she drove by.

Using my powers of hand eye coordination, gained in years of gaming and trained highly in my old days of Battletoads questing, I turned the windshield cleaner on to squirt her car with Rain-X bug remover washer fluid as she drove past.

I won the day, vengeance was mine, and I promptly lit up a menthol from my $2 carton. It was a nice diversion from my day full of corporate bullshit.

That was awesome!

And that deal almost makes me want to start smoking again. almost

Been a while since I updated, but I'm sitting here farting up my cubicle from the cheapass luncheon at work.. so I might as well.

The glitch still works! That's right.. Camel Turkish Jade Lights, the ultimate mellow menthol blend.. still rings up as $2.59 at Entec stations.

My usual target.. where the highest concentration of low IQ staff work.. is on the Northern Blvd. They're on to me. I'm now referred to as "that punkass white boy who comes in here for some damn cheap cigarettes." How do I know? One of the clerks told me. Pretty good I guess, I'm a celebrity! Now, they won't even CARRY the cartons at this store. I leave the store with only two packs, and the customer behind me says "bout damned time." I replied to her that "it's ok, don't get your weave in a knot. I'm finished." I left before being executed...

Being the methodical strategic bastard that I am, I decided to change NAV points. Next target: Ann St.

That night, I was on the glorious hunt for the Wii Classic controller. After striking out, I bobbed and weaved through the traffic of shiny rims to hit the Entec.

I enter the station, and present my debit card. "One carton of Camel Turkish Jade Lights please!"

The lady looks at me funny.. and replies "We don't carry those no more."

What? NO!!! I couldn't have been outfoxed.. it isn't possible. Oh well.. I give up, and go home empty handed.

A week and a half later.. yesterday, to be exact.. I'm running on fumes. The truck was low, I had one menthol, and some fatass bitch at work told me that I should stop smoking since my papaw (to you non-southerners, that means "grandpa") has lung cancer. Nasty ass tripled chin white trash Jabba the Hut looking crusty makeup having slut whore.. anyways, I digress. I hit the Wetumpka Entec.. the cheapest for gas in the area.. and begin the attack run.

I stand around for 20 minutes until the lady starts the pump. She tells me over the loudspeaker that it's prepay, when the guy in front of me did the same exact thing without having to prepay.. just wrong. Not only that, she lowers the pump speed.. making it pump slower. To get 15 gallons of fuel, it took around 20 minutes.

I walk in.. smell the fresh smell of not so fresh Subway and some fried chicken stand inside the place.. and snag a pack of gum. I head to the counter..already miffed about the whole gas pump fiasco. In line is a tall man missing most of his teeth, smelling of feces and beer. I kinda took pity on the guy.. but he whipped out a roll of $20 bills. A big roll too.. talk about trickery.

The cashier explains to me that they are a prepay facility, although no markings exist on the pumps to hint such information. I request my carton. Then, I use the CAG mind trick during the process. You know.. where you make small talk with a cashier as they ring stuff up, just so they will miss a glitch.

Total for a fillup of 15 gallons of gas, carton of Camel Turkish Jade Lights, an Aquafina, and gum: $36.97.

FUCKING SCORE!!!

I leave the place with a smile on my face, and fart as I walk out the door. With a flash of flatulance and $2 dollar carton.. I was back in the game. Lady luck had returned. I now returned to defy the man, and knock his thumb off my back. May the gods of charbroiled lungs smile upon thee.

Thats ing hilarious. Bobbing and weaving through the shiny rims on Ann Street. I know how that is.

Are there ANY CAG'ers south of Montgomery?

Originally Posted by xnonfactor Are there ANY CAG'ers south of Montgomery?

Yeah, there are a few Dothanites around. Here's the general Alabama CAG thread:
http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/...ad.php?t=70454

Also some in Mobile. I get dragged down to Evergreen to the g/f's family gatherings.. and those cheapass carton of Camels come in handy.

Her uncle has got to have the best privately owned bass lake I've ever seen in the state down there too. I go down there with a couple packs of smokes, fishing gear, hook up a weedless popper.. and enter a state of nirvana.

So how about an update? This thread is great. Im currently on my 5th day of not smoking. Its good to hear you are able to get some cheap cigs. I guess now maybe they are 3.69 with the tax increase huh?

Originally Posted by DeathDealer So how about an update? This thread is great. Im currently on my 5th day of not smoking. Its good to hear you are able to get some cheap cigs. I guess now maybe they are 3.69 with the tax increase huh?

Oh yeah... so last Friday, I decide to try the Wetumpka Entec for a carton. I figure.. "what the hell, I never get them from here.. I have a chance." As I arrive, police and ambulances are EVERYWHERE blocking off traffic. I get to Entec, fill up the Red Baron's gas bladder (my Tacoma).. and walk in to initiate the next stage of my quest. I ask Shaquinthia (no shit, that was her name) for a carton and gas on #9. In typical CAG Jedi mind trick style, I distract her in conversation upon the subject of the high concentration of fuzz in the vincinity. Her response was as follows:

"Some cracka got in a wreck and rear ended somebody, and he didn't put on his hazzard lights. Then everybody on the highway started running into the guy, and that's all the hell I know."

With a grin, I realize she has rung up the carton and my 15 gallons of gas at $36.xx. Success!!! She talks to this guy who is trying to get her and the other clerk's phone #, swipes my card, and keeps talking for a couple minutes. I wait patiently, realizing my success at another cheapass carton.

Suddenly, as her 2" long fingernails type the total button, she sees the error. My hopes are dashed!

"Holy shit, them cigarettes rung up at $2.69! If I walked in to a store and a carton rung up at $2.69, you know I'd be gettin' me some cheap squares."

My reply was "Yeah, I know, they rang up as that, that's the contracted agreement at the point of sale, so I have to get them at that amount.. right?"

She tells me "naw man, I can't sell that shit for $2.69!" She scans a carton of Camel 100's for the full price. COCKBLOCK!!

I wanted to push the point, but the girlfriend and I had been bitching and had decided to go to Crockmire's for Capt. Morgans and some steak.

My hopes.. again.. were dashed. Bastards!

I then leave, and proceed down 231, dodging a deer on the way back.

My papaw (what us southerners refer to as a "grandpa") recently was diagnosed with lung cancer and had part of his left lung surgically removed. He gave me some of his Welbutrin (the prescribed block for the cravings of nicotine). My birthday is in 2 days, and I'll be 27. I figure.. what the hell.. I've got three packs of the carton that I paid full price for, and I'll call it quits at midnight on January fifth. My quest to screw the man, and his tax sucking habits, may finally be over.

Oh well.. back to watching "An Evening With Kevin Smith 2." Knowing my habit of drinking, telling stories and jokes, and enjoying a menthol.. who knows how long this quitting thing will last. I did it for a year, and faltered back to smoking after a $100 bar tab and a slut sitting on my lap. We'll see, right?

Shit and you almost screwed the man once again. I guarantee you Shaquinthia would have sold them to any of her own friends. her. And oh yeah $100 bar tabs and sluts in your lap are laways nice.

i gotta ask this, because this thread's an interesting read, but are you a writer, Sky? it seems you could be, make like a comedic novel about your experiences and thoughts on Alabama.

You know what I think? I think you should go home to Greenbow AlaBAMA!

and btw, we have many similar characters here in ole Columbia, SC.

Originally Posted by pimp tyranny i gotta ask this, because this thread's an interesting read, but are you a writer, Sky? it seems you could be, make like a comedic novel about your experiences and thoughts on Alabama. You know what I think? I think you should go home to Greenbow AlaBAMA! and btw, we have many similar characters here in ole Columbia, SC.

Nice Forest Gump reference.. heh. I've written a few things.. and I appreciate the compliment! I dabbled in poetry a good bit (both read and wrote), and a little bit of short story writing. I preferred to do kind of social commentary kind of work (a little like Bill Hicks, with a few bigger words and lighter on the explicitives).. but also wrote some comedy. Kind of sad that my biggest hit was titled "Ode To Waffle House".. a little piece that I wrote shitfaced in Waffle House after leaving a strip joint when I was 21. It was picked up in a regional paper, and I even wrote for it for a little while (not exactly the big time, but it was something).

I've been to Columbia a few times. I had a little bit of fun on Hilton Head Island once as well. It isn't all that bad, at least in comparison to something like southeastern GA (now that's an asscrack of a place). I mean.. you guys have John Boy and Billy... we have Rick and Bubba. I dropped the whole writing thing though... never could find a publisher for my poetry collection or novel, things got a little rocky in my life, and I had to sell out to go work for "the man." Dropped my liberal arts degree 3 years in to switch to Business/IT, and started all over. Now I'm 27, have worked in banking for 5 years, and will finally ing have a degree and become an official educated idiot this year.

I'd love to not only write a book about my adventures in Alabama.. but one about all of my journeys in the southeast. Like the time a friend of mine drove to Jacksonville FL one Sunday night for the shits of it.. to film a dying jellyfish and two chicks making out on the beach. Or when I tried to interview hookers for a paper on Mobile Highway... I have met an uncle who was married to his niece in GA... and seen firsthand in a bar how drunk cajuns behave when LSU loses to Auburn.


Enough babbling I suppose.. I'll update my commentary for the smoking adventures.

Friends, CAGs, Alabamians.. lend me your years. It has been 7 days since I have embarked in quitting the sweet bliss of the menthol, and it has crippled my soul. I feel, as I sip on this rum and coke, that my lungs ache for the sweet blissful sensation of nicotine. On this night, this final night of 2 for 1 slinging at the now defunct Rhino (it's kind of like Rhino was the Branch Davidians of the game retail industry.. Gamestop is the fatass Janet Reno of the business... and she just rammed her tank barrel up all of our collective asses).. that I shall now go and enjoy a cigarrete that I shall honarably thieve from my girlfriend. I am sure that this will lead to new cheapass cartons of Camels.. and I will thus update this thread once that has been accomplished. If not.. I will buy a carton for the hell of it, and take pictures of my act of giving them to a deserving bum.