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What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?

The unstoppable force stops, and the immovable object moves.

Riddle stolen from an Iain Banks book...

It is a clear day with no rain. There is nothing to be sad about. Why is the man sad?

He didn't win Professor Layton for his DS.

What can you hold without it ever using your arms or hands?

Your Breath.

What is punishable for attempting but not for committing?

Suicide.

What cheese is made backwards?

edam

Ok. This one was horrible. I admit it.

Where does the General hide is armies?

In his sleevies.

When is a door not a door?

When it is ajar.

I'm sorry. I couldn't think of any others.

How could I place a bookbag on the floor where no one could jump over it?

I really liked this one from Inside Man:

Which weighs more? All the trains that pass through Grand Central Station (New York City) in a year, or the trees cut down to print all US currency in circulation? Here's a hint. It's a trick question.

US Money isn't printed on paper - it's printed on cotton. Grand Central Station is a post office, Grand Central Terminal is the train station. Hence, both weigh the same - nothing

There are three light switches in the basement, one of which turns on the light upstairs From within the basement, you can't see the light, and it makes no sound. You must determine which switch operates the light, but you can only go upstairs once to check.

Hint, or lack thereof: No, you cannot use an intricate system of mirrors ... or set up a streaming webcam ... or wire in an audible voltmeter ... or any other elaborate cheat.

Answer: Flip one switch on and wait ten minutes. Flip it off, flip a different switch on and check the light. If it's on, it's switch #2. If it's off but warm (from having been on for ten minute), it's #1. Otherwise, #3.

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, what color is the tree?

All colors... (Hopefully someone else remembers the early Monkey Island games, and what a waste philosophy is)

Which is worse, hitting an imovable brick wall at 60 MPH or hitting a car head on that is the same as your car (size, shape, and weight) moving at 120 MPH while your car is moving 120 MPH?

They are equally as bad (or good if you want to die). I heard this on Car Talk (an NPR show), someone called in who was having an argument with his wife. He said they were both the same but his wife said it was worse at 120 MPH. The hosts said the the wife was right but a Harvard professor called in the next week and told them the husband was right. He gave a long formula but I forgot it. I was always bad at math:(

There are 2 ducks in front of 2 other ducks.
There are 2 ducks behind 2 other ducks.
There are 2 ducks beside 2 other ducks.
How many ducks are there?

There are four ducks
x x
x x

Where can you find roads without cars, forests without trees and cities without houses?

On a map.

What's the sound of one hand clapping?

flapflapflap

What breaks when you say its name?

Silence

What gets whiter the dirtier it gets?


a chalkboard

What word starts with "F" and ends in "UCK"?

Firetruck

What book was once owned by only the wealthy, but now everyone can have it?
You can't buy it in a bookstore or take it from a library.

A Telephone Book.

What weighs six ounces, sits in a tree, and is very dangerous?

A sparrow with a machine gun.