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What walks on four legs in the morning, 2 legs in the afternoon, and three legs at night?

A human.

What lies on the ground, six feet in the air?

Answer: An ant

It's bad I know.

What has teeth but no mouth?

A comb!

Bah, I'm no good at this.

What gets larger the more you take away?
A hole.

there are two coins that add up to 30 cents. one of them is not a quarter. what are they? a quarter and a nickel. one of them is not a quarter but the other one is

What can run but never walks, has a mouth but never talks, has a head but never weeps, has a bed but never sleeps?


A river.

What is bought by the yard and worn by the foot? A carpet.

Horrible I know.

I dig out tiny caves, and store gold and silver in them. I also build bridges of silver and make crowns of gold. They are the smallest you could imagine. Sooner or later everybody needs my help, yet many people are afraid to let me help them. Who am I?

A DENTIST silly

Stolen from Tin Cup:

A man's driving down the road with his son. He gets in a crash. Two ambulances come and they take the man and his son to different hospitals. The son goes into the operating room and the doctor looks at him and says, "I can't operate on this boy. He's my son." How is that possible?

The doctor is the son's mother

Why couldn't the little pirate get in to the pirate movie?

It was rated "Aarrrrr."

What is bought by the yard and worn by the foot?



Carpet

once,a teacher asked a student what i cannot do but a pidgey can do?

the boy replied"sir,u cannot sit in a nest"

Your stuck in a room with a concrete ceiling, walls, and floors. All that is in the room is a wooden table and a window with very strong metal bars over that are to close to squeeze through. How do you get out?

You see your reflection in the bars.
You see what you saw.
Use the saw to cut the table in two halves.
You put the halves together to make a hole.
You go through the hole.
And your out.

What is round on the ends and high in the middle?
Ohio

What has two eyes, skin, drinks water, changes, yet has no mouth?

A potato

Three eyes have I, all in a row;
when the red one opens, all freeze.

A traffic light.

Name two coins that add up to 30 cents, but one of them is not a nickel. A quater and a nickel. the quarter is not a nickel.

When is a door not a door?
When it is ajar.

Get it?

There are three unlabeled switches which correspond to three different lights in another room. The door is closed, so you can't look in. By entering the room only once, how do you tell which switch corresponds to which light?

Turn on two lights for a few minutes, then turn one off. Go into the room and touch the lightbulbs to tell which one is hot. The one that isn't hot is the third lightbulb.

Stole this from Playboy.

Why does every man want a son?

Because with a boy you have to worry about only one penis, but with a girl you have to worry about all of them.

See, some people do read the articles.