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Originally Posted by pacifickarma 1. Tell everyone that you'll go. ('Cause you're a great guy!) 2. Don't go. (Do something fun.) 3. Text someone telling them that you got a flat tire. (But you'll try to make it!) 4. Put donut tire on your car and drive it into work that way on Monday. (Act bummed that you couldn't make it.)

You forgot ,

5. Let the air out of the "flat" tire in the trunk.

Originally Posted by lordwow His boss and his best friend at work went to the funeral, the rest of us pitched in for flowers and a card.

Actually, this is the best solution.

Get a card and/or some flowers with some co-workers and give it to your boss. That way he knows you're sorry for the loss, knows you're there to help support if needed, and won't think twice when you don't show up for the funeral.

You get some brownie points (although not as many as the suck-ups that will show to the funeral) and don't waste your own time going to the funeral of someone you don't know (no disrespect intended towards the deceased).

if you have kids, say one of them got sick and don't go, case closed

So the father-in-law has no conenction to you personally, nor was ever part of the firm? Unless I was very, very close to the boss and he was greatly affected by the death, I cannot imagine why'd I'd go.

It just seems creepy and intrusive to me. Like a morbid version of 'The Wedding Crashers.' (Actually, didn't the creepy Will Ferrell character crash funerals?) Going to the funeral of a boss' relative sound like something Dwight of 'The Office' would do to suck up.

Yeah, Javery. You have a family to go home to after work.

I would not go. Unless you are extrememly worried about whether your absence will affect your next performance review.

And, yes. You need to go to Cousin Joe's funeral.

Originally Posted by epobirs So the father-in-law has no conenction to you personally, nor was ever part of the firm? Unless I was very, very close to the boss and he was greatly affected by the death, I cannot imagine why'd I'd go.

This is my line of thinking. I had no connection whatsoever with the deceased - I still don't even know his name. I ended up going and it wasn't bad but it just felt completely unnecessary. I have to start looking at things from a perspective that is not mine because I'm clearly not in the same wavelength as the rest of the people here - this type of stuff means a lot to my boss (apparently) and it was good that I went just so he saw me there. He really is like an evil version of Michael Scott who thinks we are a family here (he's said that exactly on several occasions) even though he's been firing "family members" left and right lately.

good thing you went, then.

Originally Posted by javeryh This is my line of thinking. I had no connection whatsoever with the deceased - I still don't even know his name. I ended up going and it wasn't bad but it just felt completely unnecessary. I have to start looking at things from a perspective that is not mine because I'm clearly not in the same wavelength as the rest of the people here - this type of stuff means a lot to my boss (apparently) and it was good that I went just so he saw me there. He really is like an evil version of Michael Scott who thinks we are a family here (he's said that exactly on several occasions) even though he's been firing "family members" left and right lately.

Sorry that you ended up going, and really had no reason to go, save making brownie points with your boss. I think it might've been a little worse, long-term, if you didn't go.

Originally Posted by javeryh This is my line of thinking. I had no connection whatsoever with the deceased - I still don't even know his name. I ended up going and it wasn't bad but it just felt completely unnecessary. I have to start looking at things from a perspective that is not mine because I'm clearly not in the same wavelength as the rest of the people here - this type of stuff means a lot to my boss (apparently) and it was good that I went just so he saw me there. He really is like an evil version of Michael Scott who thinks we are a family here (he's said that exactly on several occasions) even though he's been firing "family members" left and right lately.

yeah good thing you went. esp since firings have been starting.

I second the flowers and card idea. It's better for you, and plus, it's more visual. If you do go, your boss might not even remember you went.

Well, considering how you added how your boss is trigger-happy, I think you did what is necessary to add some element of 'security' to your place at work.

You don't go to funerals for the dead. You go to funerals for the survivors.

Originally Posted by jlseal You don't go to funerals for the dead. You go to funerals for the survivors.

Amen.

Absolutely not, you don't need to go. And how is dying of cancer ever heroic? I don't mean to offend anyone who has lost loved ones to cancer, but sometimes I think we glorify the dead by making their method of death seem spectacular or something. I'm sure I'll regret saying that.

Originally Posted by jlseal You don't go to funerals for the dead. You go to funerals for the survivors.

Especially the hot friends of the widow showing lots of milky white cleavage in their black outfits.

They're easy.

Originally Posted by epobirs Especially the hot friends of the widow showing lots of milky white cleavage in their black outfits. They're easy.

wow...just wow... someone should put that in their sig

Originally Posted by epobirs Especially the hot friends of the widow showing lots of milky white cleavage in their black outfits. They're easy.

Yeah, especially since most of them are senior citizens....and family members.

What the man? Jav you shouldn't let this place dick you around like that. Seriously start looking for another firm to work at.

What's next... you have to attend the birthing of the secretaries, cousin's sister's baby?

I'm sticking with the general consensus on this one. Unless you are good friends with your boss, it really doesn't seem necessary to go, although you definitely scored some brownie points for showing up. I always thought it was kind of rude to show up to a funeral if you barely knew the person (unless you are close to someone who was a family member). I know that sounds weird, but if you weren't close to someone, why show up to pay your (little) respects, just send flowers or something and call it a day.

No you shouldn't go. (Have gone? Is it over? :p) Have you ever met him? If not, no way. If you had met him before, that could be a possibility. But really, what can you say to your boss at a funeral that you can't say at work? Just offer your condolences.

OK, I'm bringing this up again... I just got word that an old friend's father died and the services are tomorrow. I haven't seen or spoken to this person in over 15 years including email, etc. but we did go to high school together and we were friends back then. Should I go to the wake/funeral? It would be completely awkward and I only found out about this through a friend of a friend. I'm really bad about making these sorts of judgments - I wouldn't expect him to attend anything of mine ever... this would also mean I have to adjust plans that I have for the weekend in order to go.