WARNING: All information should not be regarded as a surefire method. Do not steal. I hereby denounce my responsibility of you, the reader, will do due to reading this lame article. /endwarning
Ever wonder how to score free money?
Well look no further. What you do is visit your local ____ store. We will call it, Wallimartel. Once inside said store, take a trip to the electric department. Act like a crazy person and grab as much items as possible and shove them down your pants. After doing such, and if no one has noticed, run like hell!!! They (the pigs) will surely not notice anything strange about your behavior. There are countless shoppers with many bulges in their pants who often run strangely.
If you do happen to get caught by the po po, just explain that you are a crazy person and have a fetish for shoving things down your pants which you cannot help. I've done the same thing many times. Just make sure to keep sticking your hands down your pants and fondling yourself the whole time while being detained and questioned.
If worse comes to worse, take off your pants and twirl them above your head. You can then induce vomit, or release your bowels and lick it off the floor. That will once and for all prove that you are indeed "a crazy person."
The end.
Yes, I do suck at life.
