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9,357 pages long of the worst stuff you can possibly imagine. Bonus points for posting extra awful entries.

http://www.sun-sentinel2.com/feature...rby=anarrative

Nothing beats this one:

Treatment date 8/10/2008 Age 214 (14 months old) Sex Female Race Not stated Narrative PT CRAWLED UNDER THE BED OF A HOTEL ROOM AND CAME OUT WITH A VIBRATOR I N MOUTH POSSIBLE STD EXPOSURE

Jesus H.

What happened?
Treatment date 7/6/2008
Age 16
Sex Male
Race White
Narrative "DRY HUMPING HIS GIRLFRIEND" W/PENIS RUBBING AGAINST HER JEANS,ACTIVITY WENT ON FOR EXTENDED PERIOD,PENIS STARTED BLEEDING DX: ABRASIONS PENIS


LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Treatment date 4/28/2008 Age 16 Sex Male Race White Narrative 1 - 2 DEGREE BURN TO SHIN & INDEX FINGER, PUT GASOLINE IN A POP CAN AND THREW IT INTO BONFIRE. CAN EXPLODED. NO FIRE DEPT INVOLVED.

dumbass

What happened? Treatment date 11/9/2008 Age 221 Sex Male Race Other Narrative "MIGHT HAVE SWALLOWED TESTOSTERONE GEL" INGESTION.

ewwwww, testosterone gel...

""trying to be iron man" and jumped off of a deck 10ft high. Dx sprain r/l forearm"

Treatment date 8/17/2008 Age 2 Sex Male Race White Narrative `PT STUCK "***" UP NOSE DX;NASAL FOREIGN BODY -- REMOVED

What happened?

Treatment date 8/4/2008

Age 26

Sex Female

Race Not stated

Narrative [T STS HAS NIPPLE PIERCING STS IS NOW INFECTED, DX R PERIORBOTAL CELLULITIS, L BREAST CELLULITIS

5/4/2008
34
Female
White
+ETOH,PLAYING A GUITAR,STUMBLED,FELL BACKWARD ONTO UNCAPPED BEER BOTTLE ,WHCH CONTACTED PERINEAL AREA [AKA, "the taint"],BOTTLE INTACT DX: COMPLEX VAGINAL LAC

If you're male, don't search for penis. You won't make it through 5 without cringing.

Originally Posted by RedvsBlue If you're male, don't search for penis.

Not exactly in a habit of doing so anyway, but thanks for the warning...

Wow, apparently a LOT of people get their dicks stuck in a zipper and have to go to the ER for it.

Originally Posted by darthbudge Wow, apparently a LOT of people get their dicks stuck in a zipper and have to go to the ER for it.

I told you not to do it...

Originally Posted by darthbudge Wow, apparently a LOT of people get their dicks stuck in a zipper and have to go to the ER for it.

that, and dropping toilet lids on them

What happened?
Treatment date 10/30/2008
Age 3
Sex Male
Race Not stated
Narrative PT WAS FIGHTING W/ TODDLER COUSIN ABOUT USING THE POTTY CHAIR WHEN COUS IN BIT HIM ON PENIS. HAS LAC TO VENTRAL PENIS. DX PENILE LAC

Originally Posted by The Crotch 5/4/2008 34 Female White +ETOH,PLAYING A GUITAR,STUMBLED,FELL BACKWARD ONTO UNCAPPED BEER BOTTLE ,WHCH CONTACTED PERINEAL AREA [AKA, "the taint"],BOTTLE INTACT DX: COMPLEX VAGINAL LAC

Damn...

Here's something fun to think about. These "patients" could be your friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc...

Keep that in mind next time you sit down to do a job interview or give a speech.

What Happened ?: Treatment date 4/16/2008
Age 47
Sex Male
Race White
Narrative PT WAS DOING SOME KINKY MANEUVERS WITH GIRL HE MET, SHE PUT A PLASTIC BOTTLE IN RECTUM, UNABLE TO REMOVE. DX - RECTAL FOREIGN BODY

That sure must have been some Girl, one thing the Dr. sure says it like it is.

LOL, my high school buddy is about to start his ER rotation next month. I wonder if he will get a penis Lac patient... hilarious (unless it is u!)

Originally Posted by Nathan_Sama that, and dropping toilet lids on them

How short do you have to be to drop a toilet seat on your dick?

Originally Posted by crunchb3rry How short do you have to be to drop a toilet seat on your dick?

Maybe it's some kind of maneuver where they're trying to sit on the toilet while the seat is still partially up so they take it down with their ass? Stunt shitting?