Advertisement

Register for free to remove this ad

Hey Cagizens ( i don't know if there is a formal calling for us but hey), i am an avid gamer who is getting married in months and i am excited for it but i know soon my gaming lifestyle will change so what i wanted to ask is how can i get my wife more involved in gaming with me as to have an outlet to relieve stress for her but also to maybe discover a new hobby (she does play games but mainly games like Peggle, mario and luigi inside story [which she calls on me to help her with bosses lol] and some fighting games). So i wanted to reach to you guys to see what games that are good so i can try to lure her to the good side (plus not have to sit through bridezillas and other crappy shows)? I pretty much have all 3 systems (the ps3 came when we started dating but that was because of metal gear 4 and i wanted a blu ray player).

honestly, if your lifestyle changes that much after marriage, in any aspect, good luck to you both.

I'm curious why you think your gaming habits are going to have to change immediately upon receipt of a piece of paper signed by the state.

I don't know what to recommend as far as games go - it sounds like she does like games (mario & luigi aren't for casual players) so have her try playing the best ones no matter the genre. I've found that a good game is a good game for the most part. There's no rule that says you have to both be gamers though - my wife rarely plays anything but it doesn't affect me.

Originally Posted by javeryh I'm curious why you think your gaming habits are going to have to change immediately upon receipt of a piece of paper signed by the state.

Maybe they don't live together currently? In which case that will bring a change in gaming and other habits.

But otherwise, I agree with you. Unless he's a hardcore gamer who games all the time, it shouldn't change that much. And not necessarily any need to share every hobby. His gaming time can be time she spends on whatever hobbies she has. Couples need their own personal time if relationships are going to work.

Originally Posted by dmaul1114 Maybe they don't live together currently?

I sure hope that isn't the case. Marriage is easy - it's living with someone else that's difficult!

I've been married for nearly 11 years now and it hasnt changed anything. I still game at night and she'll watch, read, hang out on the lap top, whatever. We're always in the same room together even if we're ignoring each other.

My gaming habits didn't change at all after getting married. But over the last 7 months since my son was born, I can count the amount of times I've sat down to play games on one hand.

Originally Posted by javeryh I sure hope that isn't the case. Marriage is easy - it's living with someone else that's difficult!

I hope it IS the case. Marriage should come before moving in together, so I don't see why you'd hope that isn't the case. Couples who move in together before marriage have a higher rate of divorce, so I wouldn't wish that on the OP.

Your gaming time shouldn't change THAT much after marriage. Mine actually doubled (my wife is still in her last year of her Masters, and I'm finished). Leaves me a lot of free time while she does homework and grades papers. After she is done with school I expect it to drop back to normal.

Just personal preference. I'd never get married before living with someone after having a couple relationships deteriorate after moving into together. And studies of whether living together first helps or hurts are very mixed on the impact on divorce.

I'm also not religions and really don't give two shits about marriage in the first place though. Also don't want kids, so I honestly don't know that I'll ever bother with marriage as I seem to get sick of who ever I date after a couple years and either call it off or end up straying.

I have been married for 8 years now and I havent changed a thing, lol. Ill play when she goes to bed mostly. She is a teacher and goes to bed at like 9pm, lol. Even have a buddy of mine come over once a week and we hang out and play for hours, np. But what really changed things is im a world of warcraft player and one night my wife couldnt sleep so I sent her at the computer and said try this game. A year later we have been playing togather almost every night. And if I want to play the ps3 or 360 she just goes in the computer room and plays wow. Never hear anything out of her, lol

Originally Posted by GaveUpTomorrow I hope it IS the case. Marriage should come before moving in together, so I don't see why you'd hope that isn't the case. Couples who move in together before marriage have a higher rate of divorce, so I wouldn't wish that on the OP.

I find that very hard to believe. There are only two times in my entire relationship with my wife that were what I'd consider rough (more fighting than usual over stupid shit) - the first 6 months after moving in together (2 years before we got married) and the first 6 months after having our first kid. Everything else has been rainbows and unicorns.

I'm a firm believer that marriage should come AFTER living together to make sure you are compatible.

A lot of times when people live together they don't get married unless she gets pregnant.

I agree. You don't know someone until you live with someone. You should live with someone first prior to marriage.

To OP, you shouldn't change your habits just because you get married/she moves in. Everyone needs a break from someone this is where each individuals hobbies comes into play (whether you use that time for gaming, sports, etc).

EDIT
---------
Forgot to answer other questions...
The only games my fiance plays is Rock Band with me (every once in a while; she got good enough to play Hard on most songs) and Angry Birds on her droid (granted asks me occasionly to beat a level for her when she gets stuck). In the past, the only other game she played was Animal Crossing. She justs dizzy with "3D" games i.e. the majority of games out on the market since PS1 era.
As for tv shows... first off don't write off her shows. At least try them for 3 times before you write them off; same goes for her and your shows. Shows can be hit or miss based on episode...Glee for example. Worst case scenario... you each have your individual shows to watch (example between fiance and I... she couldn't stand Lost and I couldn't stand Private Practice). This scenario should be lump into your "hobby" time.

Originally Posted by lordopus99 To OP, you shouldn't change your habits just because you get married/she moves in. Everyone needs a break from someone this is where each individuals hobbies comes into play (whether you use that time for gaming, sports, etc).

True. But at the same time, changes are required for people who are obsessively into hobbies.

Once you're living for someone you probably aren't going to be able to be gaming (or whatever hobby you do) 6 hours a night every night etc. for people who live those kind of lives.

If you're doing the normal adult thing and just spending a couple hours here and there on hobbies, then yeah, really no change is needed as you can game while she's doing her hobby stuff etc.

My wife doesn't play video games except for the occasional attempt on her part to get into it so she can participate in an activity me and our kids like (one kid more then the other). It has yet to work. They're just not her thing. And Kinect has not yet done anything to change that. In fact, I suspect it's probably even less appealing to her. I didn't buy it for her, though.

When my wife and I moved in together, I'd still game pretty often. She's set with me and help or take a turn. She started playing a little... Heroes of Might and Magic III on PC. Now she's beaten KOTOR at least 5 times.... I don't think she's finished a Light Side play through, yet. She does love Peggle, but also Plants vs Zombies, Civilization Revolution, Puzzle Quest and others. If she becomes a gamer she just will. Now kids! That will mess up your play time.

Don't try and force anything. My wife isn't much of a gamer but she's surprised me a few times. We played through both Baldur's Gate ps2 games a couple years ago and she loved them. We played a ton of Pixeljunk Monsters. Played a good bit of Animal Crossing. She got into the ds for a time years ago. Played some wii stuff for a while. Right now though, she's not interested - she is doing a lot of knitting and crocheting. I still managed to find time to game whether it was with her or not. Right now though, with a new baby in the mix, I don't game as much as I use to.

Oh - and I'm a big fan of living together before getting married. Me and my wife lived together for 3 years before getting married.

Actually something I was thinking about yesterday.

My wife games occasionally. Sometimes we play together, but I don't often buy two-player games, so it's pretty rare. Or sometimes she just watches me play if she's interested in the story.

But usually, it's me playing and her doing something else (sometimes she clicks around online, reads, watches TV, does chores, etc.). We try to make sure we're at least in the same room more often than not, but we both tend to prefer solo activities.

A lot of the time, I worry that she's bored. I don't know why. I guess because I'd be bored if I were doing what she does. I just kinda wish she had a hobby she defaulted to the way I default to games if nothing else sounds entertaining.

Originally Posted by Blank Earth A lot of the time, I worry that she's bored. I don't know why. I guess because I'd be bored if I were doing what she does. I just kinda wish she had a hobby she defaulted to the way I default to games if nothing else sounds entertaining.

My wife used to tell me that she got bored. She didn't have any hobbies and I played video games, so I understood. To fix the issue, I started taking her out on friday and saturday nights. It worked, and its a win for the both of us. Its nice to go out on a friday or saturday night rather than stay in and play games.

Originally Posted by dmaul1114 Just personal preference. I'd never get married before living with someone after having a couple relationships deteriorate after moving into together. And studies of whether living together first helps or hurts are very mixed on the impact on divorce. I'm also not religions and really don't give two shits about marriage in the first place though. Also don't want kids, so I honestly don't know that I'll ever bother with marriage as I seem to get sick of who ever I date after a couple years and either call it off or end up straying.

This, though I'd go so far as to say I don't even want to live with someone lol