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I'm usually a relatively easy going guy, but this bothers me. So I wanted to get the opinion of some random people on the internet whether I should be bothered.

I have a daughter and no son. At least not yet. We are planning on trying in the future again, so we may yet end up with a son. Now normally, I am of the opinion you have a baby first, you use the name first and that's the breaks. But.... I am the third individual in my family with this first name. My grandfather, dad, and me all have the same first name. We all have different middle names so I'm technically not the 3rd. My wife and me had decided to pass along the name if our potential daughter was a boy so he would be the 4th inline.

Okay, well anyway, I have an older sister. Me and my sister have always gotten along and she is 8 months pregnant with her second son. She had told a few months ago that Dyllan (not my name) was the name they were considering for their 2nd son's name. So I'm trying to be an excited uncle and ask how Dyllan's doing and try to stay interested.

Well, she tells me they have scrapped that name, and now my name with a "t" on the end with be the child's name after my father. I feel like I shouldn't be upset, but I was kinda floored since I didn't think she liked that name and she already took my father's middle name and gave it to her first son as a middle name. She wasn't rude, but laid it out as this is happening so I'm not really asking for your opinion.

Now I may never have a son and this could be a moot point. But it bothers me that she didn't ask. I also don't like that assuming I do go ahead and name my hypothetical son the same name as me-dad-grandpa, and now that he son has essentially the same name, our family gatherings will be ridiculous. But I guess overall, I just can't believe she thinks it is a good idea to use that name. Thoughts?

It will be asked... What is your name?

Anyways, I'd be bothered. My family has a tradition, of sorts, where the first son's middle name is passed on. If/when I have a son I will pass on the middle name (Allen for those curious). My younger sister has a son, but she wants me to pass on the family middle name, so she gave her son the middle name: Zombie (yes, yes she did). My stepmother and my father had a son (my youngest sibling of 4). My stepmother insisted on giving him the same name as the "family tradition," but as this did not go over very well with certain family members she spelled it differently (Alan). It seems petty on her part, yet petty on ours as well for being possesive of the name.

That said, how does your father/grandfather feel (I mean no disrespect if neither is alive). Ultimately, if you feel annoyed, good for you. That means you have pride/respect in your family. If your sister thinks it is no big deal, and you have clearly explained your position, then cest le vie. I'd Suggest that you continue with your own plan. Your son carrying your name, as well as his grandfather's and great grandfather's name, might mean something to him (should you eventaully have him..)

For this discussion, I'll be Joseph Black.

My dad is Joseph T Black Sr. I'm named after him so I'm Joseph T Black Jr. When I have a kid, and if it's a boy, I've thought about naming him Joseph T Black as well, so that'd be III or the Third, right?

Anyway, if my older sister or younger brother had a kid before me, and wanted the name, I'd expect them to ask me, yes. Why? Although it's all of our dad's name, it's also my name. I should have the first right of refusal on it. Even if I never have kids, I still should have that right. I wouldn't name my kid after my brother (another idea I had) unless I cleared it with him and he was okay with it. A name is important.

I'd talk with her about it in a non-confrontational way. Maybe she's a bitch and its futile, or maybe she sees your point and a change is made. Couldn't hurt to ask if you go into it with the best of intentions.

You can't "reserve" a name. Besides, if you're Bobert Jones, I'm assuming she took her husband's name, plus the added T it'll be like Bobertt Smith anyway. Name your kid what you want.

While I don't agree with the first part, WhipSmartBanky has a point on the last name thing.

Are you the only son?

My wife and I are also trying to start a family and we have thought of lots of names. She has asked me if there was any name in the family that I want to carry on and I said no not really...even though my brother is named after my grandfather [arthur] and my brother's son has Arthur as his middle name.

Here are some ideas... Think of a name that will flow with the last name and middle name[keep it to three names and not go for like 4 or 5 like I have seen with some latin families] Try not to be a bastard and name your child with the same letters across the board...such as KKK...yes I had a boss once with those initials.

I think your sister is being rude. You should be able to reserve your own name!

What do your parents think of this?

I agree with WhipSmart on this, it seem's weird to me to "reserve" a name and you should just name them whatever you want and not based on something else.

Originally Posted by chiwii I think your sister is being rude. You should be able to reserve your own name! What do your parents think of this?

Don't let your parents get involved in the name game...........trust me...my mom has already tried with my wife and she's not with child yet.

My name is Kenneth. My sister is planning on naming her child Kenton. I currently go by Ken, she plans on calling her child Kent, and if I name my child that he would probably go by Kenny as I did when I was young. My dad now goes by grandpii (insert wii jokes). And my grandpa passed away a few years ago.

As far as I know her husband has no family members remotely close to that name and she indicated as much when she told me she is naming him after my dad.

I get the you can't reserve names and had I been the first with that name I probably could care less because it wouldn't be a tradition and it probably wouldn't occur to me to name my potential son. I just thought that a family tradition would at least get me as far as my sister not taking the name.

I asked my mom if she thought it was weird (trying to be nice), and she thought the names were unsimilar enough and it wasn't a big deal if I still named my child that.

I'm not furiously mad about it, and part of me thinks it shouldn't bother me, it's just it does. Little things like she didn't tell me the name was in consideration (my mom knew for several months). It's her 2nd child and her 1st child's first name wasn't remotely a family name at all. Plus, I guess a general lack of support I feel she brings for me and my family.

I'd like to say I'm better than this, but I could see myself passive aggressively spamming the kid that he is named after me everytime I see him.

Just go through with your plan. So what if your children have similar names its just how your family rolls. As long as its not the same exact name you should be fine.

Originally Posted by smallsharkbigbite My name is Kenneth. My sister is planning on naming her child Kenton. I currently go by Ken, she plans on calling her child Kent, and if I name my child that he would probably go by Kenny as I did when I was young.

She's not naming her kid the same thing, so the issue is that the nick-name sounds similar?

Maybe I don't know because we don't have any name traditions like this in our family, but is her using a name that isn't the same but sounds kind-of-like-it really that big of a deal?

Yeah, this is NOT a big deal.

If you arent even expecting a son yet then I dont see why you should get mad. Think of a new first name for the future child and just give him the name you wanted as his middle name.

Yeah, not a big deal. If my sister wanted to name her kid Josie or Josephine, it's a completely different name. Kent/Kenny won't lead to any problems.

Yeah, I don't see how this is a big deal at all. You do sound just a tad on the crazy side.

Originally Posted by CaptainJoel Yeah, I don't see how this is a big deal at all. You do sound just a tad on the crazy side.

I agree with this. It's not something you should be so angry so about. There are worse things that are occurring in this world.

But your sister won't technically have the 4th right? I think that counts for something. If it impresses you, I'm the 4th with my name, and assuming I get married and have a son first, I will for sure be dictating the existence of the 5th!