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Japanese Nintendo DS Manual: What you shouldn't do with your DS!


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62 replies to this topic

#1 CheapyD

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Posted 08 December 2005 - 03:28 PM

As I mentioned on one of the CAGcasts, the Japanese Nintendo DS manual sure has a lot of warnings...9 pages of them to be exact.
Since I can't read Japanese too well, I figured I'd just give it my best guess:



Posted ImageWhile a fire looks like a good place to store your Nintendo DS, you may want to consider one of the officially licensed Nintendo cases.


Posted Image If you see this, you have awoken the Genie of the DS!
He's probably pissed off that we made him manufacture these in China for 10 cents an hour. Run away!



Posted ImageThe DS's power cord is too short to be used as effective nunchucks. Instead, Nintendo recommends attaching the DS the the handle of a katana.



Posted ImageIf you DS gets thirsty, be sure to use a straw. He's a sloppy motherfucker.



Posted Image Playing the DS while driving is distracting.
You may find yourself doing odd things like driving on the wrong side of the car.



Posted Image Be sure to keep your DS in close reach of your children.
You wouldn't want your kids straining themselves when they want to play Animal Crossing or take a piss on your DS.



Posted ImageBe sure to use 2 DSs' when attempting to rollerskate.
Using one is just stupid.



Posted Image If your are going to throw your DS out the window, make sure pick a suitable target like your friends' head.
Pretty much anything other than the sidewalk will do.



Posted ImageWhile the DS stylus is tasty, its a much better fit up your nose, or even better, inside your eyelid.



Posted ImageDon't try to bed the DS without taking it out for an expensive meal. Its not a slut like the PSP.



Posted ImagePutting only one DS in your back pocket will make your ass look really weird. Go with two for that Jennifer Lopez look.



Posted Image Posted ImagePushing your fingers through the DS will likely give you some kind of super-human powers ala Electro.
Do not do so unless you can handle the responsibility.

#2 Jaket

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Posted 08 December 2005 - 03:32 PM

BWAHAHAH classic
still alive

#3 doodle777_98

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Posted 08 December 2005 - 03:33 PM

ha, great comments.

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#4 mykevermin

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Posted 08 December 2005 - 03:37 PM

Let this be a lesson to those who point the fingers at the United States for being unnecessarily redundant (such as putting "Warning: Hot" notices on coffee cups).

9 pages of redundant, even.
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#5 Ecofreak

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Posted 08 December 2005 - 06:19 PM

And I thought America had too many warning lables...
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#6 Vinny

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Posted 08 December 2005 - 06:37 PM

And I thought America had too many warning lables...


Exactly what I was thinking..

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#7 the3rdkey

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Posted 08 December 2005 - 06:48 PM

Something tells me Cheapy put a little of his own cheapy magic into this thread.
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#8 PenguinoMF

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Posted 08 December 2005 - 06:50 PM

HAHAHA that is awesome. :rofl:

#9 Quillion

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Posted 08 December 2005 - 07:30 PM

Joystiq'd!

http://www.joystiq.c...34000280071605/

#10 salmonaxxx

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Posted 08 December 2005 - 07:46 PM

Lawl!

#11 dastly75

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Posted 08 December 2005 - 07:49 PM

funny captions

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#12 AdamInPlaidum

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Posted 08 December 2005 - 07:54 PM

Posted ImageDon't try to bed the DS without taking it out for an expensive meal. Its not a slut like the PSP.

Posted Image Posted ImagePushing your fingers through the DS will likely give you some kind of super-human powers ala Electro.
Do not do so unless you can handle the responsibility.


:rofl: Those two are my favorite. The Spider-Man reference is great.
Currently playing: Viewtiful Joe (DS), Trace Memory (DS), Pokemon Emerald (GBA), Astro Boy (GBA)

#13 PenguinMaster

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Posted 08 December 2005 - 08:16 PM

I remember all the warning labels my GBA had when I imported it, do Japanese people actually do all the things pictured?

Digital distribution is the death of the preservation of the arts.

 

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#14 evanft

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Posted 08 December 2005 - 08:23 PM

Roffle!

#15 The Successful Dropout

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Posted 08 December 2005 - 08:30 PM

:lol: :applause:
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#16 froinlaven

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Posted 08 December 2005 - 08:53 PM

Awesome. I remember when I got my first PS, there was a similar "do not do" list that had a anthropomorphic PS doing things like taking a shower or shooting electricity at kids(I think).

#17 scdoanintendo

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Posted 08 December 2005 - 09:04 PM

A little OT but do you have a DS yet Cheapy?

#18 corrosivefrost

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Posted 08 December 2005 - 09:08 PM

Thanks Cheapy, I needed a good laugh. :D

#19 jkam

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Posted 08 December 2005 - 09:12 PM

:applause: Sweet Captions!

#20 mcgavin27

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Posted 08 December 2005 - 09:37 PM

:rofl:

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#21 Negative

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Posted 08 December 2005 - 10:11 PM

I though you said you couldn't read Japanese? Knowing the Japanese, those are dead-on right guesses.

#22 Prepster

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Posted 08 December 2005 - 10:14 PM

lmfao



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#23 CheapyD

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Posted 09 December 2005 - 12:31 AM

A little OT but do you have a DS yet Cheapy?

Yup, a Graphite one.
Thats how I found the the over the top safety warnings.

#24 sblymnlcrymnl

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Posted 09 December 2005 - 02:31 AM

:rofl:

#25 Graystone

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Posted 09 December 2005 - 04:01 AM

Now that I think about all nintendo stuff comes with warning. Stuff that should keep parents from buying stuff at all. They have warning seizures on everything. Nothing as funny as cheapy's stuff.

#26 Dkellar

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Posted 09 December 2005 - 04:27 AM

This makes me want to import a DS!

#27 Timothyx

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Posted 09 December 2005 - 04:58 AM

haha...nice Cheapy. Keep these stories from Japan coming, I check everyday!
that monkey stole my snowcone.

#28 2poor

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Posted 09 December 2005 - 05:58 AM

LOL
classic

#29 Over easy

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Posted 12 December 2005 - 06:48 PM

So I decide to dig up my Japanese DS manual since I didn't read the manual at all when I got my DS from Hong Kong (why would I read the manual if I don't understand Japanese?).

Yep, haha it's there. Good find Cheapy!
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#30 Javery

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Posted 12 December 2005 - 07:30 PM

I finally listened to that CAGcast this morning and I was thinking it would be cool if you posted the pics... very funny stuff...

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