61 replies to this topic

[Megamibeast]

I really like this girl at my work and want to be with her. I think she likes me too. But the only problem is that she's engaged.

So do I have a chance of being with her?

Sorry for the vague detail but I just type a long post about this and I accidentily hit the back button and everything was lost and I don't feel like typing it all up.

I know that these kind of topic is cheesy but I need some advice.


Thanks

[Danro]

Whoa, whoa, whoa please clarify: you want to date her or you want to get into a serious relationship with her?

[rodeojones903]

She is engaged. End of story.

[Eviltude]

Engaged, Married or Mother's are often no-no's. Mother's can be thought of as fair game after the age of 28.

[Dead of Knight]

....................................

Wtf?

[wubb]

She is engaged. End of story.

Yep, very sleazy to go after an engaged chick. There are plenty of single women out there.

[klwillis45]

Dude, don't be the real life Lloyd Christmas.

[shieryda]

If you like having your face the way it looks now, I would steer clear of that situation.

[Maklershed]

How could you even ask this? Follow the golden rule. Would you want someone you love so much that you want to marry them to be taken away by someone else?

[Danro]

The people have spoken bud, you may have a chance, but why would you want to do that?

[Lice]

O.o

haha

She is probably being really nice to you for the fact that she is engaged and doesnt have to worry about creepy guys asking to date her anymore. She probably feels confident in the fact that she has come to the end of the road in dating and your taking it as her "liking" you... walk away...

[Cornfedwb]

Actually, if she's willing to hook up with him.. then her fiance is lucky he didn't end up marrying her.

Then again, if she's willing to leave as committed a relationship as being engaged for the OP... do you think she's going to stay committed to you?

[shieryda]

Ask yourself "What do I have that her fiance doesn't?" Then realize that the answer is "Nothing, or else she'd dump his ass for me".

[wubb]

Lice may be on to something with that... Of course if that is what is really going down you'd just be embarassed and then known around your workplace as the sleazy guy who made a pass at the hot engaged chick. No big deal.

And Cornfed also has some good points.

[Megamibeast]

O.o

haha

She is probably being really nice to you for the fact that she is engaged and doesnt have to worry about creepy guys asking to date her anymore. She probably feels confident in the fact that she has come to the end of the road in dating and your taking it as her "liking" you... walk away...

Well maybe but she does thing that make me feel otherwise. She always leave her workstation and try to come and talk too me. She always say i'm funny when I'm not. She always ask for my help when she should be asking someone else and sometimes I think she mess stuff up on purpose so I can try and go help her. She also talk about me to her sister who work in the same company as us but in a different department. She told me that her sister and her think I look alot like there cousin.

[jaykrue]

Dude, stop thinking with your head in between your crotch and start thinkin' with the upstairs head. Think about it logically:

A) She works with you. That's bad enough. If you're working at a real job (vs. burger flipping), this is a formula for trouble. What if you break up? It'll cause bad tension and awkwardness at work and eventually one of you will have to quit for job performance. They say you should be acting professionally and not let personal business affect your performance but the instant you hook up w/ her, you already lost your professionalism. There's a reason why ppl are discouraged from hookin' up w/ ppl at work.

B) Do you really want to hook up w/ a girl who is wishy-washy about her current relationship? If you're thinking about having your own relationship with her, she has to take initiative (not have you tell her) to break off the engagement in order to go out with you. Think about it. If she's willing to hook up w/ guys while she's engaged, what happens when you're the guy she's in a relationship with? Girls like that are only good for one thing - fcuking and nothing more beyond that.

C) If you are an ass and break up her engagement and then break up w/ her months later, you can expect at least 2 ppl to seek you out with the intent of ass kicking - ex fiance who she came running back to and, like the pussy that he is, takes her back unconditionally, tells her sob story and looks for you for messing up their relationship and then there's the dad of the girl. You probably won't be able to imagine the annoying shit he's had to go through. First his little girl is getting married to some guy he doesn't approve of but grudgingly pays for his lil girl's wedding since he's the father of the bride after all only to have some snot-nosed punk make his daughter make another bad decision by both calling off the (already paid for) wedding and making his daughter cry.

I'm sure I probably should've split that last paragraph into more than one sentence but it gets the point across. You're asking for a lot of shit (A, B, C) for little gain (some pussy). If you can't find a decent single girl to hook up with, you don't deserve to get pussy in the first place. Don't be shady. You can be a pimp and still not be a dick.

[Sleepkyng]

if she's down, then you'd be doing the other guy a favor.

[dude2003]

1. engaged/committed/serious relationship
2. co-worker

two forbidden rules for me about dating.

[shieryda]

C) If you are an ass and break up her engagement and then break up w/ her months later, you can expect at least 2 ppl to seek you out with the intent of ass kicking - ex fiance who she came running back to and, like the pussy that he is, takes her back unconditionally, tells her sob story and looks for you for messing up their relationship and then there's the dad of the girl. You probably won't be able to imagine the annoying shit he's had to go through. First his little girl is getting married to some guy he doesn't approve of but grudgingly pays for his lil girl's wedding since he's the father of the bride after all only to have some snot-nosed punk make his daughter make another bad decision by both calling off the (already paid for) wedding and making his daughter cry.

I'm sure I probably should've split that last paragraph into more than one sentence but it gets the point across. You're asking for a lot of shit (A, B, C) for little gain (some pussy). If you can't find a decent single girl to hook up with, you don't deserve to get pussy in the first place. Don't be shady. You can be a pimp and still not be a dick.

I counted 3 sentences in that last paragraph...

[Dead of Knight]

Well maybe but she does thing that make me feel otherwise. She always leave her workstation and try to come and talk too me. She always say i'm funny when I'm not. She always ask for my help when she should be asking someone else and sometimes I think she mess stuff up on purpose so I can try and go help her. She also talk about me to her sister who work in the same company as us but in a different department. She told me that her sister and her think I look alot like there cousin.

So fucking what? She likely is just trying to be friendly with a coworker. I like to talk to my friends/coworkers during work/class. I prefer to ask my friends for help at work/school first because I am more comfortable asking them. I talk to my mom (I don't have siblings) about my friends/coworkers. I don't know wtf your point is with that post. Forget about this girl in terms of a romantic relationship. There is a 99.999% chance she just wants to be friends w/a coworker, and nothing more. Use your head.

[Lice]

Deadof knight, Is it NOT a pick up line to say " Hey you look like my cousin" ... come on that has I want to cheat on my fiance written all over it! Sounds like a good sign to me...

Boooyakah!

[Dead of Knight]

Seriously.... you do NOT say that to someone you're interested in romantically/sexually.

[jaykrue]

Seriously.... you do NOT say that to someone you're interested in romantically/sexually.

Unless... you live in the backwater parts of the South.

[ryanbph]

is the op jim from the office?

[Lice]

Seriously.... you do NOT say that to someone you're interested in romantically/sexually.

Hey Dead, you look like my cousin once removed... Easy as that guys....

all hot now?

Thought.... So.... SCORE...

[Cornfedwb]

For those of you that said never to date a co-worker.. thats pretty much false logic. While I wouldn't recommend it for the teenage burger-flipper.. adults in a professional setting should be more then mature enough to be able to handle the effects of a broken relationship while in a business setting.

And given the fact that about 40 hours out of the roughly 100 or so you're awake during the week is spent with your co-workers.. it simply makes sense that a romance might blossom through such contact.

That said, I'd say its still a good idea to avoid dating a boss or subordinate for obvious reasons.

[jaykrue]

For those of you that said never to date a co-worker.. thats pretty much false logic. While I wouldn't recommend it for the teenage burger-flipper.. adults in a professional setting should be more then mature enough to be able to handle the effects of a broken relationship while in a business setting.

And given the fact that about 40 hours out of the roughly 100 or so you're awake during the week is spent with your co-workers.. it simply makes sense that a romance might blossom through such contact.

That said, I'd say its still a good idea to avoid dating a boss or subordinate for obvious reasons.

Your operative word is "should". Being the boss, I've seen firsthand when employees of the same status (neither is subordinate to the other) in the same department date. Usually, you don't find out they're dating until one quits or has a drama moment in the coffee room. But, I lost at least one (other than the dating) good, hard working employee because of it. The thing about human beings is that they are prone to fits of irrationality so the 'no dating co-workers' is a logical result of that. While an imperfect solution, it is the best current method to minimize office drama. Even if coworkers are working side by side 40 hours a week, it's not an excuse to allow an office romance. Office romances, like long distance, hardly, if ever work. Emotions are not always helpful especially in a place where you're expected to act almost like a Vulcan regarding intimate relationships since it's a business and the only thing that really matters there is the bottom dollar.

EDIT: and I actually would recommend it to burger flippers since, well, it's a burger flipping job. Those are fairly easy to pick up so emotional baggage can be dropped quite easily vs. a job where you're making 40k to a 6 figure deal. The latter is much much harder to walk away from.

[Metal Boss]

Get a life

[Ikohn4ever]

I think the real problem is most men have no idea the difference between friendship/being playful and flirting. I myself have assumed more feelings were attached behind a female's actions than are really there. If a girl smiles at you and laughs at your jokes is does not = she wants to jump your bones.