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Who's funeral do you HAVE to go to?


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#31 jlseal

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Posted 08 January 2009 - 09:39 PM

You don't go to funerals for the dead. You go to funerals for the survivors.
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#32 MorPhiend

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Posted 10 January 2009 - 01:02 AM

You don't go to funerals for the dead. You go to funerals for the survivors.


Amen.

#33 Ender

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Posted 10 January 2009 - 02:52 AM

Absolutely not, you don't need to go. And how is dying of cancer ever heroic? I don't mean to offend anyone who has lost loved ones to cancer, but sometimes I think we glorify the dead by making their method of death seem spectacular or something. I'm sure I'll regret saying that.
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#34 epobirs

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Posted 10 January 2009 - 05:12 AM

You don't go to funerals for the dead. You go to funerals for the survivors.


Especially the hot friends of the widow showing lots of milky white cleavage in their black outfits.

They're easy.
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#35 billyrox

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Posted 10 January 2009 - 05:56 AM

Especially the hot friends of the widow showing lots of milky white cleavage in their black outfits.

They're easy.



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Edited by billyrox, 11 January 2009 - 08:12 PM.


#36 Stoneage

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Posted 11 January 2009 - 07:52 PM

Especially the hot friends of the widow showing lots of milky white cleavage in their black outfits.

They're easy.


Yeah, especially since most of them are senior citizens....and family members.
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#37 ITDEFX

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Posted 12 January 2009 - 05:01 AM

What the Fuck man? Jav you shouldn't let this place dick you around like that. Seriously start looking for another firm to work at.

What's next... you have to attend the birthing of the secretaries, cousin's sister's baby?

#38 Eviltude

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Posted 12 January 2009 - 06:02 AM

I'm sticking with the general consensus on this one. Unless you are good friends with your boss, it really doesn't seem necessary to go, although you definitely scored some brownie points for showing up. I always thought it was kind of rude to show up to a funeral if you barely knew the person (unless you are close to someone who was a family member). I know that sounds weird, but if you weren't close to someone, why show up to pay your (little) respects, just send flowers or something and call it a day.
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#39 Access_Denied

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Posted 13 January 2009 - 03:28 AM

No you shouldn't go. (Have gone? Is it over? :p) Have you ever met him? If not, no way. If you had met him before, that could be a possibility. But really, what can you say to your boss at a funeral that you can't say at work? Just offer your condolences.

#40 Javery

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Posted 04 February 2011 - 06:09 PM

OK, I'm bringing this up again... I just got word that an old friend's father died and the services are tomorrow. I haven't seen or spoken to this person in over 15 years including email, etc. but we did go to high school together and we were friends back then. Should I go to the wake/funeral? It would be completely awkward and I only found out about this through a friend of a friend. I'm really bad about making these sorts of judgments - I wouldn't expect him to attend anything of mine ever... this would also mean I have to adjust plans that I have for the weekend in order to go.

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#41 benjamouth

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Posted 04 February 2011 - 06:27 PM

If this ends up with you posting "I ended up going....." then yes, you should probably go.

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#42 dmaul1114

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Posted 04 February 2011 - 06:36 PM

OK, I'm bringing this up again... I just got word that an old friend's father died and the services are tomorrow. I haven't seen or spoken to this person in over 15 years including email, etc. but we did go to high school together and we were friends back then. Should I go to the wake/funeral? It would be completely awkward and I only found out about this through a friend of a friend. I'm really bad about making these sorts of judgments - I wouldn't expect him to attend anything of mine ever... this would also mean I have to adjust plans that I have for the weekend in order to go.


No.

I only feel a need to go to very close family members and friends funerals. And thankfully I never had much of an extended family so it's just really my parents, a few aunts/uncles (grandparents all long gone), my brother and his kids etc. Still young enough that I've not had any friends die (and lucky they've all avoided accidents etc.).

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#43 Gden

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Posted 04 February 2011 - 07:20 PM

I don't see anything wrong with going to the wake, at least to tell him that you remember him, and to comfort him in this time of need. When my older brother died, I saw people that I hadn't seen in years, and it was really nice to see them.
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#44 davo1224

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Posted 04 February 2011 - 07:38 PM

I don't see anything wrong with going to the wake, at least to tell him that you remember him, and to comfort him in this time of need. When my older brother died, I saw people that I hadn't seen in years, and it was really nice to see them.


The OP seems to be a bit on the Asperger's side or is trying way too hard to be Larry David. Don't give him good advice like this.

#45 iNCREDiPiNOY

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Posted 04 February 2011 - 07:41 PM

we all should go, problem solved!

#46 ITDEFX

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Posted 04 February 2011 - 08:07 PM

OK, I'm bringing this up again... I just got word that an old friend's father died and the services are tomorrow. I haven't seen or spoken to this person in over 15 years including email, etc. but we did go to high school together and we were friends back then. Should I go to the wake/funeral? It would be completely awkward and I only found out about this through a friend of a friend. I'm really bad about making these sorts of judgments - I wouldn't expect him to attend anything of mine ever... this would also mean I have to adjust plans that I have for the weekend in order to go.


I would go. He was an old hs friend of yours.

#47 TC

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Posted 04 February 2011 - 10:48 PM

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#48 dmaul1114

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Posted 04 February 2011 - 10:50 PM

I would go. He was an old hs friend of yours.


But he hasn't seen or spoken to him for 15 years.

Hell I don't know that I'd bother going to the funeral of a former friend I hadn't seen or spoken to in that long, much less their father's funeral.

I'm mean if you haven't seen or talked to them in a decade and half they're not a part of your life.

Edited by dmaul1114, 06 February 2011 - 04:39 PM.

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#49 Javery

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Posted 04 February 2011 - 10:57 PM

I'm with you on this one dmaul. I don't think I'm going. I am contemplating sending an email to him though (his address was in the email that was forwarded to me). Also, one day's notice is way too short. I have the kids all day tomorrow and there's not enough time to rearrange plans.

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#50 HotShotX

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Posted 04 February 2011 - 11:02 PM

I'm with you on this one dmaul. I don't think I'm going. I am contemplating sending an email to him though (his address was in the email that was forwarded to me). Also, one day's notice is way too short. I have the kids all day tomorrow and there's not enough time to rearrange plans.


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#51 chiwii

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Posted 06 February 2011 - 07:47 AM

I agree with dmaul - I also probably wouldn't even go to the funeral of a former friend that I hadn't talked to in over a decade, and I certainly wouldn't go to their parent's funeral.

Am I the only one who thinks that a funeral/wake seems like an inappropriate place to catch up with old friends? I know that people do that all the time, but I'm really uncomfortable with it. I wouldn't want old friends that I hadn't spoken to in years just showing up at the wake/funeral for one of my family members. I don't know, maybe it's just me.

#52 dmaul1114

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Posted 06 February 2011 - 04:41 PM

Am I the only one who thinks that a funeral/wake seems like an inappropriate place to catch up with old friends? I know that people do that all the time, but I'm really uncomfortable with it. I wouldn't want old friends that I hadn't spoken to in years just showing up at the wake/funeral for one of my family members. I don't know, maybe it's just me.


Agree. I wouldn't want personal acquaintances or old friends I'm not really friends with anymore as I haven't seen them in ages showing up at one of my parent's funerals either.

That's a personal, grieving experience and should only be for people who were all very close to the deceased and/or the deceased loved ones IMO.

But like you say, I know many have more open wakes and funerals, so I guess people have varying views on that.

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#53 shrike4242

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Posted 06 February 2011 - 05:31 PM

If it's a friend of a friend, and there's one day notice about it, I would say you don't need to go. Especially if there's no way you could have someone watch your kids and the like associated with a short notice situation.

If you actually kept in contact with this old friend of yours regularly, that's a different matter, though if you've not spoken to them in 15 years, then I think you shouldn't need to go.

There's also the obvious statement of the only funeral you have to go to is your own, though that's a different matter entirely.