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Man There is Going to be Some Serious Hate Mail For This One (Halo 3)


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#1 duckymcfly99

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Posted 11 August 2009 - 07:57 PM

*Takes a deep breath*...OK lets do this. So the hype from the supposed "diamond farting wonder", "Greatest game to be released in the current decade", and the most "Awesome-ist, jiz-in-my-pants trip I have ever taken" has died down from Halo 3. That means that it took...*checks watch on computer*...2 years to die down. If you look, the game is still like $40 bucks at Wal-Mart. GOD DAMN! I made a Wal-Mart reference...from now on...I will try not to make them. Well I can't promise but I will try my hardest not to.

Anyway, this is, was, and probably one of the most anticipated games to come out lately next to Gears of War 2 and the new Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2.

So was this game really that awesome? Was it so awesome that I couldn't put it down? Did it make me happy like a fat kid with a plate full of cupcakes? Here goes nothing...

Story: OK, it follows the status-quot to be a best seller game. Space marine battles some aliens that threaten Earth, and/or have already taken over the Earth and want to keep people away like that fat kid with a plate of cupcakes would. But anyway they created some dude that looks really cool and he hangs around a dude that talks like this

*THE ARBITER WOULD LIKE SOME LEMON GRENADES!!!*

(Bonus points for the Unforgotten Realms reference.)

The only dang sweet part about this game, is how it switches between the cute, little, and mean grunts to the Half Life 2 head crabs..*snickers just a little*. Besides this small thing it is lacking story and is very boring as the fire fights aren't very engaging as others later on (examples: Scorpion fights, air battle in the Hornet, and the last level).

Rating: 5/10

Sound: Great here. Actually this is one of the only good things. The voice acting is VERY good. It is flawless and amazing at least.

Rating: 9/10

Graphics: These are OK at best. They are sometimes just bland and fall into the land of "Blah-ville" which is inhabited
by the graphics of games such as Mercenaries 2, most computer games from 2005 to 2006. Everything in this department is just average and lacking. Nothing makes me go "WOW" like when I play Fallout 3 or Grand Theft Auto IV. If you want to make a game, make it look good. Vibrant colors work people!

Rating: 4/10

Multiplayer: Right now you are probably thinking, "Wow Zach you must at least like the multiplayer?" Uh...wrong. It lags, it takes forever to find a group to play with, and when you do, it takes forever to find a match because the people keep yelling "VETO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Yeah I found this to be annoying. Also, when I was playing, I had the fortunate luck to have my

A. Sexuality questioned by a 12 year old
B. Get sniped every 12 seconds
C. Get pissed off because the internet was slower then a fat man trying to run.

Overall this was a bad experience in the multiplayer world.

Rating: 4/10

Final thoughts: So this was average. Not good, not bad. It was a better experience when I first bought this game. Really, the only good thing that came out of this was...

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...oh yes...

And let the hate mail...

BEGIN!!!!!!!!111!!!!1!!!!1!!1!!!!

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Alex: Dude, Meghan, you have to stop drinking the Hateraid.

People around the fire: LAMO!

#2 MattE20

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 09:27 AM

i disagree on some points you made , but the online experience is crap . I am so sick of the 12 year old kids calling me a homo and yelling VETO at every map . when i do play it on line i mute every one .

I prefer to play halo and halo CE on my pc than to play halo 3 on my 360 , also the magnum is like it should be in halo on pc . i was disappointed that they made the pistol wussy and even though the scope is still mounted on it you can not zoom .


#3 Stick821

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 03:51 PM

I never have problems with kids yelling anymore. Hell I'm lucky if I have a teammate with his mic plugged in.

#4 JStryke

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 08:28 PM

Maybe it's just the playlists I run, but I hardly run into any annoying people. And even when I do, 9/10 I kind of enjoy it, if only because I love hearing some kid cuss after I blow them up with a rocket. Only time I was ever TRULY annoyed was when some guy was rapping over his mic.

Also, I second the lag comment about it being on your end or you just having bad luck. Occasionally, I'll get hit, but it's usually minimal and doesn't last too long. Also, you can always go to your settings and have it to where your preferred matches have good connections.

#5 duckymcfly99

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Posted 13 August 2009 - 12:33 AM

Ok so not as much hating and more like "dude you got this wrong" type of stuff. The person's house i played at did have a high speed connection, it worked fine. it was just that it...had big bugs, the size of New York cockroaches. When you get blasted back it was like your body tried to split and fall apart but couldn't quite make it. Also, you/someone on your team/someone on the other team would die, and they would keep playing. My face when I saw this was like this, "?". It turned out to be annoying. Oh and the part about me getting killed every 3 seconds is because I suck some major ass. Yeah, I'm really bad at Halo online.
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Alex: Dude, Meghan, you have to stop drinking the Hateraid.

People around the fire: LAMO!

#6 jughead

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Posted 13 August 2009 - 12:58 AM

I'm sorry but if you are gonna bash on one of the most popular franchises in gaming, you might want to put together a better review than this.

I give your a review a 4 out of 10.

#7 duckymcfly99

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Posted 13 August 2009 - 03:16 PM

yeah prototype is very underrated. but with like the killed a guy then he keeps going thing? when theres a glitch like it says he died, but he keeps going and then finally he dies out of the blue. it was weird but i see this rarely.

and jughead, really? your going to do the "lets rate a review?" great job ass hat.
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Alex: Dude, Meghan, you have to stop drinking the Hateraid.

People around the fire: LAMO!

#8 NinjaPenguin777

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Posted 13 August 2009 - 04:40 PM

Ok, so let me get this straight. You are giving a game a low rating in multiplayer because: 1. You suck at it and 2. There's annoying people online? Welcome to 2002. That's how XBL will always be. You won't like something if your terrible at it and there are bound to be idiots with 10+ people online. Like it or not Halo 3 is the number 1 played XBL game for a reason.

Formerly known as slickkill77


#9 rjarmstrong100

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Posted 13 August 2009 - 05:04 PM

I'm going to have to agree with the lack of content in the review. If one wants their review to have clout, usually more than 2-3 sentences per topic helps with such, especially when it came to your rating of the story/gameplay. While I do agree it was lackluster in the beginning, and the story is always flat having a lot of detail and proof to back up your claims is always useful.

As for the multiplayer, it sounds like your connection is just hosed. Out at home, I can play Halo 3 without a pinch of lag; in college, I can barely even connect without atrocious lag. So I know what you mean and it does sound like you're just getting bad lag.

#10 Guest_eastshore4_*

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Posted 13 August 2009 - 05:51 PM

I usually avoid "reviewing reviews", but I keep seeing this title popping up when I scroll through the main forums page and it's bugging me a bit. I have to ask, do you really not like Halo 3? You seem to be more fascinated with drawing a crowd by playing up this "OMG you're not gonna believe what I think of this highly praised game!" angle than actually critiquing the game, which makes me wonder if your aim was to review the game or just get some attention. You build people up with a scandalous title... then throw us a couple lines of shtick and sum things up with a rant about how you didn't like it because you aren't good and have to deal with some punkasses(not exactly faults of the game so much as they are the players and your internet connection). If you didn't like the game, that's cool, and to be honest your hardly the only person that doesn't like the game, but if you're gonna present a review for people to read you gotta put a bit more substance in there, stuff we can discuss. We can't really comment on your H3 gaming skills a whole lot.

#11 duckymcfly99

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Posted 14 August 2009 - 05:11 PM

OK so the real reason why I dislike this game is that it was/still is overhyped. It's not because it's mainstream, it's because IT'S A GODDAMN GAME. The graphics where good, the sound was great, but the story was lacking, and yes my internets out in the middle of east jesus no where lags alot. these are my points. I hate this game not because I'm not very good at it, but because there are better multiplayer, single player, and looking, sounding, and just better games in general out there. Look it up.
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Alex: Dude, Meghan, you have to stop drinking the Hateraid.

People around the fire: LAMO!