Jump to content



Photo
- - - - -

Marriage and Gaming


  • This topic is locked This topic is locked
65 replies to this topic

#1 dlostluv

dlostluv

    CAG Veteran

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 12 January 2011 - 06:27 PM

Hey Cagizens ( i don't know if there is a formal calling for us but hey), i am an avid gamer who is getting married in months and i am excited for it but i know soon my gaming lifestyle will change so what i wanted to ask is how can i get my wife more involved in gaming with me as to have an outlet to relieve stress for her but also to maybe discover a new hobby (she does play games but mainly games like Peggle, mario and luigi inside story [which she calls on me to help her with bosses lol] and some fighting games). So i wanted to reach to you guys to see what games that are good so i can try to lure her to the good side (plus not have to sit through bridezillas and other crappy shows)? I pretty much have all 3 systems (the ps3 came when we started dating but that was because of metal gear 4 and i wanted a blu ray player).

#2 DestroVega

DestroVega

    Life is short... stunt it

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 12 January 2011 - 06:57 PM

honestly, if your lifestyle changes that much after marriage, in any aspect, good luck to you both.

Destro1.gif            DestroVega.jpg


#3 Javery

Javery

    Drug-Dealer-Keeper-Awayer

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 12 January 2011 - 07:04 PM

I'm curious why you think your gaming habits are going to have to change immediately upon receipt of a piece of paper signed by the state.

I don't know what to recommend as far as games go - it sounds like she does like games (mario & luigi aren't for casual players) so have her try playing the best ones no matter the genre. I've found that a good game is a good game for the most part. There's no rule that says you have to both be gamers though - my wife rarely plays anything but it doesn't affect me.

--- Bella's Arcade --- Donkey Kong + ---
___________________



#4 dmaul1114

dmaul1114

Posted 12 January 2011 - 07:16 PM

I'm curious why you think your gaming habits are going to have to change immediately upon receipt of a piece of paper signed by the state.


Maybe they don't live together currently? In which case that will bring a change in gaming and other habits.

But otherwise, I agree with you. Unless he's a hardcore gamer who games all the time, it shouldn't change that much. And not necessarily any need to share every hobby. His gaming time can be time she spends on whatever hobbies she has. Couples need their own personal time if relationships are going to work.

3DS Friend Code: 2595-0524-8826

Bluray Collection
DVD Collection


#5 Javery

Javery

    Drug-Dealer-Keeper-Awayer

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 12 January 2011 - 07:25 PM

Maybe they don't live together currently?


I sure hope that isn't the case. Marriage is easy - it's living with someone else that's difficult!

--- Bella's Arcade --- Donkey Kong + ---
___________________



#6 eldergamer

eldergamer

    Gold Star For Robot Boy

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 12 January 2011 - 07:44 PM

I've been married for nearly 11 years now and it hasnt changed anything. I still game at night and she'll watch, read, hang out on the lap top, whatever. We're always in the same room together even if we're ignoring each other.

MC-2SD-Out.png<


#7 BillyBob29

BillyBob29

    CAGiversary!

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 12 January 2011 - 07:57 PM

My gaming habits didn't change at all after getting married. But over the last 7 months since my son was born, I can count the amount of times I've sat down to play games on one hand.

#8 GaveUpTomorrow

GaveUpTomorrow

    CAGiversary!

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 12 January 2011 - 08:04 PM

I sure hope that isn't the case. Marriage is easy - it's living with someone else that's difficult!


I hope it IS the case. Marriage should come before moving in together, so I don't see why you'd hope that isn't the case. Couples who move in together before marriage have a higher rate of divorce, so I wouldn't wish that on the OP.

Your gaming time shouldn't change THAT much after marriage. Mine actually doubled (my wife is still in her last year of her Masters, and I'm finished). Leaves me a lot of free time while she does homework and grades papers. After she is done with school I expect it to drop back to normal.


#9 dmaul1114

dmaul1114

Posted 12 January 2011 - 08:12 PM

Just personal preference. I'd never get married before living with someone after having a couple relationships deteriorate after moving into together. And studies of whether living together first helps or hurts are very mixed on the impact on divorce.

I'm also not religions and really don't give two shits about marriage in the first place though. Also don't want kids, so I honestly don't know that I'll ever bother with marriage as I seem to get sick of who ever I date after a couple years and either call it off or end up straying.

3DS Friend Code: 2595-0524-8826

Bluray Collection
DVD Collection


#10 jcmeadows

jcmeadows

    Even I'm embarrassed

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 12 January 2011 - 08:39 PM

I have been married for 8 years now and I havent changed a thing, lol. Ill play when she goes to bed mostly. She is a teacher and goes to bed at like 9pm, lol. Even have a buddy of mine come over once a week and we hang out and play for hours, np. But what really changed things is im a world of warcraft player and one night my wife couldnt sleep so I sent her at the computer and said try this game. A year later we have been playing togather almost every night. And if I want to play the ps3 or 360 she just goes in the computer room and plays wow. Never hear anything out of her, lol

Check out our site! The Gamers Lounge


#11 Javery

Javery

    Drug-Dealer-Keeper-Awayer

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 12 January 2011 - 08:54 PM

I hope it IS the case. Marriage should come before moving in together, so I don't see why you'd hope that isn't the case. Couples who move in together before marriage have a higher rate of divorce, so I wouldn't wish that on the OP.


I find that very hard to believe. There are only two times in my entire relationship with my wife that were what I'd consider rough (more fighting than usual over stupid shit) - the first 6 months after moving in together (2 years before we got married) and the first 6 months after having our first kid. Everything else has been rainbows and unicorns.

I'm a firm believer that marriage should come AFTER living together to make sure you are compatible.

--- Bella's Arcade --- Donkey Kong + ---
___________________



#12 GameOnJohn

GameOnJohn

    No Disintegrations!

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 12 January 2011 - 09:03 PM

A lot of times when people live together they don't get married unless she gets pregnant.

#13 lordopus99

lordopus99

    Training for the silver

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 12 January 2011 - 09:05 PM

I agree. You don't know someone until you live with someone. You should live with someone first prior to marriage.

To OP, you shouldn't change your habits just because you get married/she moves in. Everyone needs a break from someone this is where each individuals hobbies comes into play (whether you use that time for gaming, sports, etc).

EDIT
---------
Forgot to answer other questions...
The only games my fiance plays is Rock Band with me (every once in a while; she got good enough to play Hard on most songs) and Angry Birds on her droid (granted asks me occasionly to beat a level for her when she gets stuck). In the past, the only other game she played was Animal Crossing. She justs dizzy with "3D" games i.e. the majority of games out on the market since PS1 era.
As for tv shows... first off don't write off her shows. At least try them for 3 times before you write them off; same goes for her and your shows. Shows can be hit or miss based on episode...Glee for example. Worst case scenario... you each have your individual shows to watch (example between fiance and I... she couldn't stand Lost and I couldn't stand Private Practice). This scenario should be lump into your "hobby" time.

Edited by lordopus99, 12 January 2011 - 09:24 PM.


#14 dmaul1114

dmaul1114

Posted 12 January 2011 - 09:08 PM

To OP, you shouldn't change your habits just because you get married/she moves in. Everyone needs a break from someone this is where each individuals hobbies comes into play (whether you use that time for gaming, sports, etc).


True. But at the same time, changes are required for people who are obsessively into hobbies.

Once you're living for someone you probably aren't going to be able to be gaming (or whatever hobby you do) 6 hours a night every night etc. for people who live those kind of lives.

If you're doing the normal adult thing and just spending a couple hours here and there on hobbies, then yeah, really no change is needed as you can game while she's doing her hobby stuff etc.

3DS Friend Code: 2595-0524-8826

Bluray Collection
DVD Collection


#15 Crunchewy

Crunchewy

Posted 12 January 2011 - 09:15 PM

My wife doesn't play video games except for the occasional attempt on her part to get into it so she can participate in an activity me and our kids like (one kid more then the other). It has yet to work. They're just not her thing. And Kinect has not yet done anything to change that. In fact, I suspect it's probably even less appealing to her. :) I didn't buy it for her, though. :)

Crunchewy.png


#16 OnyxPrimal

OnyxPrimal

    Chocolate Goodness

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 12 January 2011 - 09:18 PM

When my wife and I moved in together, I'd still game pretty often. She's set with me and help or take a turn. She started playing a little... Heroes of Might and Magic III on PC. Now she's beaten KOTOR at least 5 times.... I don't think she's finished a Light Side play through, yet. She does love Peggle, but also Plants vs Zombies, Civilization Revolution, Puzzle Quest and others. If she becomes a gamer she just will. Now kids! That will mess up your play time. :)

#17 bordjon

bordjon

    tastes good on the bun.

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 12 January 2011 - 10:39 PM

Don't try and force anything. My wife isn't much of a gamer but she's surprised me a few times. We played through both Baldur's Gate ps2 games a couple years ago and she loved them. We played a ton of Pixeljunk Monsters. Played a good bit of Animal Crossing. She got into the ds for a time years ago. Played some wii stuff for a while. Right now though, she's not interested - she is doing a lot of knitting and crocheting. I still managed to find time to game whether it was with her or not. Right now though, with a new baby in the mix, I don't game as much as I use to.

Oh - and I'm a big fan of living together before getting married. Me and my wife lived together for 3 years before getting married.
Posted ImagePosted Image

#18 Blank Earth

Blank Earth

    CAGiversary!

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 12 January 2011 - 11:33 PM

Actually something I was thinking about yesterday.

My wife games occasionally. Sometimes we play together, but I don't often buy two-player games, so it's pretty rare. Or sometimes she just watches me play if she's interested in the story.

But usually, it's me playing and her doing something else (sometimes she clicks around online, reads, watches TV, does chores, etc.). We try to make sure we're at least in the same room more often than not, but we both tend to prefer solo activities.

A lot of the time, I worry that she's bored. I don't know why. I guess because I'd be bored if I were doing what she does. ;) I just kinda wish she had a hobby she defaulted to the way I default to games if nothing else sounds entertaining.

#19 Brownjohn

Brownjohn

Posted 12 January 2011 - 11:49 PM

A lot of the time, I worry that she's bored. I don't know why. I guess because I'd be bored if I were doing what she does. ;) I just kinda wish she had a hobby she defaulted to the way I default to games if nothing else sounds entertaining.


My wife used to tell me that she got bored. She didn't have any hobbies and I played video games, so I understood. To fix the issue, I started taking her out on friday and saturday nights. It worked, and its a win for the both of us. Its nice to go out on a friday or saturday night rather than stay in and play games.
To each his own.

#20 InfinityCartier

InfinityCartier

    segga tapes

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 13 January 2011 - 12:12 AM

Just personal preference. I'd never get married before living with someone after having a couple relationships deteriorate after moving into together. And studies of whether living together first helps or hurts are very mixed on the impact on divorce.

I'm also not religions and really don't give two shits about marriage in the first place though. Also don't want kids, so I honestly don't know that I'll ever bother with marriage as I seem to get sick of who ever I date after a couple years and either call it off or end up straying.


This, though I'd go so far as to say I don't even want to live with someone lol

#21 davo1224

davo1224

    CAGiversary!

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 13 January 2011 - 12:34 AM

Something about that just rubs me the wrong way. You're not really a candidate for marriage anyway so how can you comment? You'd never get married without living with someone, yet you don't want to get married. The reason you'd never get married without living together is because they deteriorate after living together, yet you say that you always end them. It's weird because people never realize the contradictions in what they're saying until someone else tells them. I'm the same way.

#22 soulvengeance

soulvengeance

    Beating dead horses

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 13 January 2011 - 01:49 AM

I hope it IS the case. Marriage should come before moving in together, so I don't see why you'd hope that isn't the case. Couples who move in together before marriage have a higher rate of divorce, so I wouldn't wish that on the OP.

Your gaming time shouldn't change THAT much after marriage. Mine actually doubled (my wife is still in her last year of her Masters, and I'm finished). Leaves me a lot of free time while she does homework and grades papers. After she is done with school I expect it to drop back to normal.


Arranged marriages also have the lowest rate of divorce, so perhaps everyone should have their parents tell them who they should marry.:)
mytradelist:
http://www.cheapassg...864#post2614864

Calls this what you may, but I would say that Blacks actually benefited from the slavery. Comparing the current lives of many African Americans to Africans, one can see that the former live in much better conditions with greater freedoms and opportunities.


#23 Dead of Knight

Dead of Knight

Posted 13 January 2011 - 02:36 AM

I play much more often than my husband. He is often too tired after work and just plays a little DQ9 or Tecmo Bowl while lying down. Meanwhile I can play for hours after work, and then on the weekends, provided I have a game that is gripping me.
RIP Hiroshi Yamauchi

This is the greatest thing ever. Certainly in the OTT at least.


#24 zionoverfire

zionoverfire

Posted 13 January 2011 - 03:14 AM

I've found that the more the women you date/marry play video games the more they manage to get in the way when you want to, very few multi player (non-mmo) games are as addictive as MMOs and single player games so don't be too surprised when you come home and want to play COD that she's just gotten home and started up Kinect.

I got my wife addicted to the Wii and lost my TV for a month.

#25 dmaul1114

dmaul1114

Posted 13 January 2011 - 03:23 AM

Something about that just rubs me the wrong way. You're not really a candidate for marriage anyway so how can you comment? You'd never get married without living with someone, yet you don't want to get married. The reason you'd never get married without living together is because they deteriorate after living together, yet you say that you always end them. It's weird because people never realize the contradictions in what they're saying until someone else tells them. I'm the same way.


I don't see any contradictions. I'm not anti marriage, just not obsessed with the notion that I have to get married like most people in society since I'm not religious and hate kids.

I've had two long-term relationships (one was an engagment) fall apart after living together. Thus I'm a fan of living together before marriage as I was super fucking glad to not have to worry about divorce etc. in those cases as it was difficult enough already.

And they were both situations were we didn't fight much etc. in the years of dating before moving in. You just can't really know if you're compatible with someone before living together and being stuck around them all the time IMO. And both times I've been the one that's ended them, sure, but that's still not a contradiction. Just saying it's much better to be able to just move out than deal with all the legal hassles of ending a marriage if you find out you're not compatible after moving in together.

And everyone is a candidate for marriage. I'm just not that focused on it for the reasons above. If I meet someone I want to spend my life with who cares about getting married, I'll do it. If not, I won't.

Right now, despite being in my early 30s, I'm in no hurry. I'm recently out of a 6-year relationship and just fed up with all the putting up with someone else's drama that goes with long-term relationships. So for now I just want to focus on myself and my career and I'm not thinking anything other than casual dating for time being. But I'm sure I'll change my tune eventually if I meet the right person etc.

3DS Friend Code: 2595-0524-8826

Bluray Collection
DVD Collection


#26 VipFREAK

VipFREAK

    Fun Knee!

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 13 January 2011 - 03:24 AM

I love how my best friend's wife doesn't like him playing games but will go play peggle/bejeweled/whatever and it's not considered gaming. :/

This, though I'd go so far as to say I don't even want to live with someone lol


So fucking agreed, I live though my best friend that's married.

My Summer Motto: "When Nature turns off the damn heat I'll turn off my A/C"


Trade List

#27 mr_burnzz

mr_burnzz

Posted 13 January 2011 - 11:44 AM

I game way too much for my wifeys taste so I do cut down more than I would like. I've gotten her to play some games and she enjoys it when she isn't getting frustrated about the game. Here are some great ones to try with her.

worms 2 PSN
singstar/rockband
buzz
tekken/soul caliber - need fight stick for her to button mash and have fun
dr mario, tetris, puyo puyo, bejeweled, etc.

I can't get her to play games as seriously as I do but we have fun we these.

#28 Crunchewy

Crunchewy

Posted 13 January 2011 - 03:04 PM

I love how some of you folks speak in absolutes.

Crunchewy.png


#29 angela391

angela391

Posted 13 January 2011 - 03:28 PM

try to condition her mind into gaming before marrying her. In that way you can both enjoy playing games during your honeymoon.LMAO!:D Maybe it's just a balance between your married life and your gaming life that you should look into ;)

#30 Blank Earth

Blank Earth

    CAGiversary!

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 13 January 2011 - 03:41 PM

I actually met my wife IN a video game. We started played Final Fantasy XI around the same time in '06, became friends, visited each other in person, became a couple, she moved across the country and now we're married. I'm a lucky guy!